The Story Must Be Told

Who’s short and spherical with a jaunty hat? Beau Basco! Who sees every clue with a lazy eye? Beau Basco! And who is facing the biggest who-dun-it of their career? Uhhhhh BEAU F. BASCO. The F stands for “Fuck.” NTWICS Vol 1: https://open.spotify.com/album/4Oithuobv9nJKIrXAyd2FX?si=Pq1urioWQkW1Jt9tl2iUJQ DEAD BIRD SONGS: https://www.patreon.com/collection/385604 PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt

Gums of pink, are gonna stink / Gums of red, are fonts of dread. Teeth are unwelcome in our parish! Yet, hygiene is a virtue. Ohh, we’re complicated—no easy answers in the Story! You must yeeeearn. Invocation The Washing of Chalms Liturgical Reading: “The Swollen Mouth of Family” Concluding Prayer Grease unto thee. Be sure to check out the newest video on youtube.com/thestorymustbetold

Oooh, children, gather around for Vacation Story School. While the clerg' takes a breather, they gather to discuss and share the first chapter of Brother Reid (Reid Faylor's) audiobook novel: Dead Bird Songs. If you wanna skip right to the juicy audiobook chapter, go to 22:29, otherwise enjoy our chat about writing, editing, and peeing in pockets. Subscribe to Reid's novel at www.patreon.com/reidfaylor

Two outcasts are excluded even from apocalypse and must navigate a changed world. If there is truth to be found it is in each other. Return to where your Story began so it may now end. Guest Preachers: Betsy Winchester (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy; VO artist betsywinchester.com IG: @betsywindy; formerly of Murderfist) Steve O’Brien (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy, Xmas Futures short films christmasfutures.com) Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 and LPN Deep Dives ACOTAR podcasts, IG @jackthatworm) Announcements Velvet: THE LEAST OF CHIMPS Devon: THE AWAKENING Velvet: FLESH PILES Devon: FATHER Velvet: THE HIDING MAN Devon: ALONE PARADISE RISING EPILOGUE That’s it! For THIS SEASON. Some bonus episodes coming while you wait for season 2, plus MORE: a novella (already out!), a novel, and an album. See you soon! PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com GOODNIGHT MY LOVE BOOK NOW ON SALE: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/book/1144436977

I’m a BIG SHOT at my job. I belong to an ELITE group of people who make work their ENTIRE identity. My testicles are made out of BRASS and I have NO outside relationships. What IS my job? Oh, I torture a big fucking worm. If I don’t do it someone else will! Featuring: Holden McNeely as the Taurus Salesman, Priest Ed Larson as Announcer, Man in Coat Jackie Zebrowski as Tomsha Mounting Cro-Crotoa The Story Must Be Told Clip Show Liturgical Reading: “The Fool and the Worm” The Price of Killing Chalms Two more episodes left before our break to switch into seasons. We’re hard at work on the new format and KNOW you’ll love us EVEN MORE. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com

Some islands are SCARY—like Nantucket. Other islands will steal your very essence, halve it, and merge it with other unwitting victims—like Nantucket. THIS island? Shhhhh it’s a seeeecccreeeeettttt. Guest Author: Katherine Monasterio (author of The Age of Windpower) The Winners of the Big Surf Competition Are… The Switch Liturgical Reading: “Beneath the Compass Rose” The Return of a Familiar Face An Announcement Changes are coming! And a new Story TOO PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com

Your father is watching you, and he’s SHAKING his HEAD. What did you do to deserve such a practical assessment? Did you follow your dreams? Probably! Nothing cheeses a dad like the passion of progeny. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 and LPN Deep Dives ACOTAR podcasts, @jackthatworm on Instagram) Guest Author: Libbie Grant (Future Saint of a New Era podcast) Invocation Pastor Andrew’s Changes Liturgical Reading: “God’s Hotel” The Extent of Chalms If I could, I would pick you up and carry you to two weeks from now, so you could bask in a new, Chalmserific episode. Instead: you must WAIT. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com BROTHER REID ART: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ReidFarts

Look! A shooting star! Close your eyes and make a wish. Are you doing it? Good … good. What’s that? It feels like someone is stealing your wallet? Shh shh, that’s just the wish doing its thiiing. Hush, child, and next time: remember to carry CASH, baybeeeee. Wishes from Congregants Brother Reid’s Wish: “Truthy Truthy” More Wishes for Cheddar-Tossin ‘Grants Pastor Andrew’s Wish: “Bigger” WAGE-A-WISH HERO OF THE CENTURY: Erica! Devon’s “Wish”: “United States of Wishing” Concluding Remarks In two weeks a familiar friend will return to WOW us with some high octane Story deeds. PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com

Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx In this, the 6th and final part of Goodnight My Love, we finally say Goodnight … but to WHOM? My Love? Be honest: why are you even reading the episode description? Huh, Chester? You KNOW what the deal is. Just honk on in, ya goob! Featuring: MJ Knefel (Page 7) Steve O’Brien (xmas futures) Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) Betsy Winchester (Murderfist, The Dog The Boy) And John Moreno (Murderfist) as CEDRIC Invocation An Unfortunate Turn for Cedric Liturgical Reading: Goodnight My Love 6 Conclusion We return in a couple weeks with something decidedly different. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvx Grandmas and Grandpas will give you a Bible and then YELL at you. Can’t trust a Grandma to buy the right Cro-Croa, can’t ask a Grandpa to turn off the TV. Ughh, but sometimes: you need ‘em. Today, we return to the Goodnight My Love series for the first of three concluding parts. Listen to parts 1-3, episodes 103, 118, and 119 respectively, to catch up and ENJOY. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Featuring: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) MJ Knefel (Page 7) And John Moreno (Murderfist) as CEDRIC! Invocation CEDRIC Liturgical Reading: Goodnight My Love 4 Concluding Remarks The series continues in two weeks with part 5. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

It’s always raining here. The rain will soak you cold, but it is your task that will break you. Freedom is trapped inside the box, and it is everything outside that is a prison. Invocation Petitions Liturgical Reading: “In Violet Light” Concluding Remarks We’ll have a special lil loosey goosey holiday special for ya in a couple weeks. Return! MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

There are photos of you lost in a drawer, floating in a liminal space, waiting to be seen. You will recognize the face but not the scene, know your age but not the year. Our past is a secret; it is better to pray for loss than for revelation. Invocation Brother Reid’s Big News Liturgical Reading: Rakija Departure Come back in two weeks, and witness our big meeting with Mr. P. P. Brothers! Gosh, maybe we’ll MAKE IT BIG. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt