Your Goals Aren't Yours—That's Why They Don't Stick (ACT for Lasting Change)

About this episode

Tony Overbay discusses why many goals fail and how to align them with personal values using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

What if your New Year's resolutions keep failing because they were never really yours to begin with? Most goals we set aren't chosen—they're inherited from magazines, social media, parents, or that version of ourselves we think we're supposed to become. That's why they don't stick. In this episode, Tony shares his decades-long "pushup obsession" and how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) finally broke the cycle—not through more discipline, but by discovering what actually mattered to him. What you'll learn: - Why "socially compliant goals" sabotage your motivation before you even start - The crucial difference between values (your compass) and goals (checkboxes)—and why confusing them keeps you stuck - How to use lead measures instead of lag measures to build sustainable change - The "Passengers on the Bus" technique for moving forward even when self-doubt is loud - A simple 5-step "Get Back on the Saddle" plan for when you inevitably wobble With over 20 years of clinical experience, Tony explains why you're not broken—you're human—and offers a framework for building a life that actually feels like yours. Ready to stop beating yourself up and start driving toward what…

People in this episode

Host: Tony Overbay

Topics covered

• goals
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
• self-improvement
• motivation
• values vs goals
• New Year's resolutions

Keywords

• goals
• motivation
• self-improvement
• values
• New Year's resolutions
• ACT
• sustainable change

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