Reactive Abuse Why You’re Not the Problem (And Never Were)

About this episode

Kass Gomez discusses reactive abuse and the complexities of toxic relationships, emphasizing understanding and healing.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses psychological abuse, emotional manipulation, trauma bonds, and toxic relationship dynamics. This is one of the hardest episodes I’ve ever recorded. In this deeply personal and vulnerable conversation, I open up about a moment in my life where I became someone I didn’t recognize, and carried the weight of that moment for years, believing I was the problem. But what I’ve learned through healing, therapy, and trauma-informed work… changed everything. In this episode, we break down: What reactionary (reactive) abuse actually is How toxic relationship patterns slowly build over time Why your nervous system goes into survival mode (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) The truth about trauma bonds and why leaving isn’t as simple as people think How attachment styles and past wounds shape your reactions And how to begin releasing shame and reclaim your truth Because here’s what no one tells you: Your reaction may be visible… But the thousands of moments that led to it often go unseen. If you’ve ever: Questioned your sanity in a relationship Been made to feel like “the crazy one” Reacted in ways that didn’t feel like you Carried shame for how you showed up…

People in this episode

Host: Kass Gomez

Topics covered

• reactive abuse
• psychological abuse
• emotional manipulation
• toxic relationships
• trauma bonds
• attachment styles
• shame and healing

Keywords

• reactive abuse
• psychological abuse
• emotional manipulation
• toxic relationships
• trauma bonds
• attachment styles
• shame
• healing
• survival mode
• self-improvement