This is How We Feel with Dr Ali Walker

We say we want deeper, more meaningful relationships.We say we want community, honesty, and a sense of belonging.But when the moment comes to connect, we hesitate.In this episode, Ali explores the gap between wanting connection… and actually choosing it.Drawing on her latest research into human connection in an AI-driven world, she unpacks a powerful truth: avoidance isn’t laziness- it’s protection. Our nervous system is constantly weighing the cost of connection, from social risk to emotional exposure, and asking, “Is this worth it?”Ali also reflects on the 4-week Connection Experiment, including:Courageous micro-intimacy (talking to strangers, expressing appreciation, interrupting gossip)Building depth through better questions and vulnerabilityShifting group dynamics by raising emotional standardsBreaking the habit of low-grade bonding through complaintIf you’ve ever felt resistance to reaching out, speaking up, or going deeper, this episode will help you understand why.And more importantly, how to move through it.Because connection isn’t built by avoiding discomfort.It’s built by staying in it, just a little longer.This is how we feel.

In this second conversation with Dr Juliette Tobias-Webb, we turn our attention to something many of us struggle with:What happens on the days you are not your high-performance self?The dominant mindset of the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s celebrated intensity, grit, and relentless optimization. But that model only works for one version of you: the high-energy, high-focus version.What about the rest of the time?We explore why willpower is an unreliable strategy and why managing your attention is far more powerful than managing your time. We discuss why most goals are set by our “peak” self, and why that sets up our “most of the time” self to fail.We also go deeper into the psychology of change:Why the brain is fundamentally a prediction and certainty machineWhy losses loom larger than gains, and how that makes transformation feel threateningWhy real change often requires grieving the person you used to beWhy you must accept the emerging version of yourself before change can truly stickThis episode is about expanding beyond a narrow definition of performance. It’s about designing a life that works not just when you’re at your best but also when we’re simply being human.Because sustainable change doesn’t come from your peak self.It comes from the self you are, most of the time.

Have you ever stopped to notice what you’re really feeling? This week, Ali experimented with naming emotions every day, and discovered how much our stories can mislead us, how small insights sneak up over time, and why a week isn’t long enough to see real change.Join Ali as she shares what she has learnt about emotional granularity and how giving yourself space can transform the way you see yourself.

In this episode of This Is How We Feel, Ali Walker introduces a different way of approaching behaviour change - not through pressure, discipline, or shame, but through curiosity.After 15 years studying how people behave in groups, one pattern kept showing up: knowing what’s good for us rarely changes what we do.So instead of asking “How do I change?” or “What’s wrong with me?”, this podcast asks a simpler question:What happens if we try this?This episode introduces the idea of turning everyday life into a series of small, low-stakes experiments - and begins with the first one: PLAY. Not as a reward.Not after everything else is done.Just… play.You’ll hear:Why insight alone doesn’t change behaviourHow curiosity softens the nervous systemWhy play is one of the fastest ways to create safety and flexibilityPractical, adult-friendly ways to bring play into real life (no productivity required)You’ll also be invited into the first experiment: one small, unnecessary, enjoyable thing each day - and simple prompts to notice what comes up.This isn’t a challenge.It’s not a program.There’s nothing to keep up with.It’s an invitation to notice how it actually feels to be human - in real life.If you’ve ever felt stuck, flat, serious, or overwhelmed…you’re not alone in this feeling.THIS IS HOW WE FEEL...

In this episode, we explore a feeling so many people carry:What do I do when no one needs me?If you grew up getting approval for being 'good' or 'useful,' your nervous system learned that doing equals value - and being equals nothing.So when life gets still, or when the roles fall away, your identity can collapse.In this episode, Dr Ali Walker breaks down:why we feel lost when we stop performing or being 'useful'why presence feels uncomfortable when you’re used to performingand how to rebuild a clear, grounded sense of self You’ll get practical tools to reconnect with yourself, anchor your identity, and feel like you again… not just the roles you play.

The real story in any group isn’t what’s being said, but what’s being felt.In this episode of This Is How We Feel, Ali Walker explores the invisible emotional energy that flows through every team, family, and culture. You’ll learn about:- How individuals act as conductors and absorbers of group energy- Why one person’s mood can ripple through an entire room- How emotional energy influences leadership and teamworkWhether you’re leading a team, navigating family dynamics, or curious about human behaviour, this episode will give you a new lens to understand the groups you are in.

In every group, from families and friendships to teams and nations, there are invisible forces at play. Power, status, and hierarchy shape who speaks, who listens, and who gets left out.In this episode, Dr. Ali Walker unpacks the hidden rituals that reinforce group hierarchies, explores how status is performed and perceived, and examines what happens when the balance of power begins to shift.We ask:What is power beyond titles and roles?How do we unconsciously play status games?What happens when we challenge group norms?And how can we create spaces where power moves with integrity?Whether you're navigating team politics, rethinking your role in a social group, or questioning long-standing dynamics in your family, this episode invites you to look beneath the surface — and lead with awareness.

Why do so many of us feel like we’re constantly performing - just to be accepted? In this powerful first episode, Dr. Ali Walker explores the hidden emotional cost of the “social game” we’ve all been taught to play - from childhood cliques to adult circles of power and popularity.We unpack the dynamics of performative belonging, the roles we unconsciously adopt, and the quiet longing underneath it all: to be seen, to be safe, and to be loved without conditions.This episode is an invitation to step out of the game, pause the performance, and begin the journey toward true connection- with others, and with yourself.Key themes:The emotional cost of performance-based belongingOutsourcing emotional regulationThe power of pausing before reaching outHow to reconnect with your authentic selfIf you’ve ever felt exhausted by social dynamics, or like you’re chasing love that always feels just out of reach, this one’s for you.