Thoughtful Planning

Episode Summary: According to Compassion & Choices, one in three older adults will die with dementia. Honey & Santiago introduce The Dementia Deck, a 41-card conversation tool to express your care preferences while clear of mind. They discuss caregiving worries, feeding tubes, late-stage care decisions, and fears about living with dementia. Essential Question: If you were diagnosed with dementia tomorrow, would your loved ones know what kind of care matters most to you? Content Warning: This episode discusses dementia and its challenges. If you or someone you love is dealing with dementia, please take care of yourself. This episode introduces a planning tool, not professional help. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not doctors, therapists, or lawyers. Key Takeaways: • 1 in 3 older adults will die with dementia; 14 million Americans by 2050 • Alzheimer's deaths increased 145% while heart disease deaths decreased 9% (last 20 years) • Dementia Deck has 41 cards for exploring care preferences while clear-minded • Younger onset dementia can begin in 30s or 40s • Start with comfort questions (music, hobbies) before heavy care decisions • As of October 2025, Nevada is only state with dementia-specific advance directive forms • Other states: use dementia-directive.org form as addendum • This is a conversation starter, NOT legal documentation Episode Highlights: [0:04] Cold open: Dementia statistics [2:28] Essential question [2:38] Younger onset dementia (30s/40s) [3:00] The Dementia Deck: 41 cards [4:36] Card 1: Caregiver worries [6:05] Accepting help & self-care [7:55] Card 2: Feeding tube decisions [9:25] Card 3: Late stage care [10:42] Open question: Biggest worries [10:55] Santiago: Being a burden [11:38] Honey: Forgetting loved ones [12:20] Caring is loving, not burdensome [13:52] Legal documentation options [15:27] Practical tips [17:00] Where to get the deck [18:01] Closing thoughts Action Steps: ✅ Order The Dementia Deck at thedeathdeck.com ✅ Start with comfort questions (music, hobbies, sources of joy) ✅ Include the right people in the conversation (spouse, adult children, siblings) ✅ Have the conversation more than once as preferences change ✅ Document the answers (record or take detailed notes) ✅ Share your wishes with your power of attorney, adult children, doctor ✅ Get the form at dementia-directive.org ✅ Talk to estate planning attorney about adding as addendum to advance directives Resources: • The Dementia Deck: https://thedeathdeck.com/collections/shop-all-decks • Dementia Directive Form: https://dementia-directive.org • Episode 33 - Psychiatric and Dementia Directives: https://youtu.be/cH9Jc_8LNlE • Compassion & Choices - Dementia and End-of-Life Care: https://compassionandchoices.org/resource/dementia-and-end-of-life-care/ • Death Deck Episode: https://youtu.be/m6w0HpWhU_g • EOL Deck Episode: https://youtu.be/4xvGIQAdizI Connect: Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/podcast Email: info@legacytoolkit.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit Keywords: Dementia Deck, dementia planning, advance directives, dementia care preferences, Alzheimer's planning, caregiving, end-of-life planning, dementia directive, memory care decisions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode Summary: In our last episode, we talked about how HBO's "The Pitt" could be a conversation starter for families to discuss end-of-life wishes. Today, we're sharing another tool that makes these conversations easier with some fun. Honey and Santiago play The Death Deck, a card game with 112 questions designed to spark lively discussions about death. Watch as they discover just how well they really know each other's end-of-life wishes through multiple choice questions and open-ended prompts. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not doctors or lawyers. Please consult with healthcare professionals or estate planning attorneys about your specific situation. Essential Question: How well do you really know your family's thoughts about death and end-of-life wishes? Content Warning: Today we're talking about a card game dealing with end-of-life topics. This card game is designed to spark conversations, not to make light of the topic of death. Please talk to a professional or call a helpline to seek help if you're facing difficulties. Please take care of yourself. You don't have to face anything alone. Key Takeaways: The Death Deck contains 112 cards with multiple choice and open-ended questions about death The game is designed for when you're healthy, not during active end-of-life situations Specialized decks exist for specific situations (EOL Deck, Dementia Deck) Card games are conversation starters but never replace legal documentation Review cards before playing with groups to remove triggering content Episode Highlights: [0:04] Introduction and Connection to The Pitt Episode - How conversation tools help families discuss end-of-life [0:44] Content Warning - Sensitivity notice for listeners [0:59] Welcome and Disclaimer - Meet Honey and Santiago [1:21] Essential Question - How well do you know your family's thoughts about death? [1:29] The Death Deck Introduction - 112 cards designed to spark discussion [1:59] How The Death Deck Works - Multiple choice vs open-ended questions and different ways to play [3:28] Gameplay Segment Begins - Honey and Santiago play three rounds [3:50] Round 1: Space Cremains Question - Would you send cremated remains into space? [5:17] Round 2: Cremation Jewelry Question - Would you wear jewelry containing loved one's remains? [7:11] Round 3: Memorial Video Question - Making a video to be played after death [9:05] Open-Ended Question: "I See Dead People" - Who would you want as your official greeter upon death? [10:44] Other Specialized Decks - EOL Deck and Dementia Deck for specific situations [11:56] Important Reminder - Card games never replace legal documentation [12:43] Call to Action - Get The Death Deck or find another conversation starter [13:15] Essential Question Revisited - Circling back to how well you know your family Action Steps: ✅ Consider getting The Death Deck or finding another way to start these conversations with your family ✅ If making it a party, review cards first and remove any that might be triggering Resources Shared: The Death Deck, EOL Deck, and Dementia Deck: https://thedeathdeck.com/collections/shop-all-decks State advance directive forms for legal documentation of wishes: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/free-printable-advance-directives/ Connect with Thoughtful Planning: Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/contact Email: info@legacytoolkit.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit Thank You for Listening! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to start these important family conversations. Keywords: The Death Deck, death conversations, family planning, end-of-life wishes, advance directives, conversation starters, EOL Deck, Dementia Deck, family communication, end-of-life planning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode Summary: Picture this: You're unconscious in a Spanish hospital, and your husband wants to honor your advanced directive that says no feeding tube. But the doctors say, "We can't accept this American document. It's not certified for use in Spain." In this bonus episode following our four-part travel series, Honey and Santiago share what they learned about apostille and authentication certifications so you can decide if this extra step is worth it for your international travel planning. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not lawyers and are not giving legal advice. Always consult a professional such as your attorney or doctors for any specific situation and check requirements with your destination country's embassy or mission. Essential Question: If you had a medical emergency abroad and couldn't speak for yourself, would foreign doctors be able to legally honor your advanced directives and medical power of attorney? Key Takeaways: The reality check - US documents might not be recognized abroad without proper certification Apostille vs Authentication - Which process you need depends on whether both countries are in the Hague Convention The cost breakdown - What you can expect to pay for proper certification in Texas as of August 2025 ($120 - $280+ per person) Time planning - Why you need to start this process at least 6 - 12 weeks before travel Episode Highlights: [0:23] The Spain Wake-Up Call - How a recent trip revealed a gap in their travel planning that could affect anyone with advanced directives [2:50] What Are Apostille and Authentication? - Official certifications of US documents for use in foreign countries and how they work [3:57] The Hague Convention Check - Critical first step to verify both countries are members for apostilles to work [4:44] Recent Convention Updates - China, Canada, Rwanda, and Vietnam joined recently; always check current status [5:54] The Texas Process Example - Up to 1 month processing time and $15 per document as of August 2025 [6:11] The Cost Reality - Estimating 8 documents total (4 in English, 4 in Spanish) at $120 per person plus additional fees [6:57] When Countries Aren't in the Convention - Additional State Department authentication process adds 5-6 weeks and $20 per document [8:05] The Peace of Mind Factor - Who should consider this process and when it might be worth the investment [8:48] Their Decision - Why they've decided to follow this process for future international travel Action Steps: Research convention status - Check if both your country and destination are in the Hague Apostille Convention Choose your process - Apostille if both countries are members, authentication if destination isn't Research your state's process - Search "[your state] Secretary of State Apostille" for specific requirements Consider translation - Determine if documents need translation to destination country's language Resources Shared: Office of Authentications: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/replace-certify-docs/authenticate-your-document/office-of-authentications.html Hague Convention Member Countries Status: https://www.hcch.net/en/instruments/conventions/status-table/?cid=41 Texas Secretary of State Apostille/Authentication: https://www.sos.state.tx.us/authinfo.shtml Texas Advance Directives Forms: https://www.hhs.texas.gov/formas/advance-directives Connect with Thoughtful Planning: Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit Thank You for Listening! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone planning international travel. Keywords: apostille, authentication, international travel, advanced directives, living will, medical power of attorney, Hague Convention, travel planning, legal documents abroad, medical emergency abroad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode Summary: Travel planning revealed a shocking gap in Honey and Santiago's preparedness: if something happened to them abroad (or at home), their family would be completely digitally locked out. In this episode, they share the simple steps they took to fix this problem and ensure their loved ones can access phones, email, and critical accounts in an emergency. You'll discover the difference between legacy contacts and emergency access, plus get actionable steps to set up your own digital safety net. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not tech experts or providing legal advice. Always consult professionals for legal guidance and check with your specific devices and accounts for current features and requirements. Essential Question: If something happened to you and you couldn't help yourself, could your family access the accounts needed to help you both at home and while traveling? Key Takeaways: Legacy contacts are designed for death, not incapacitation iPhone and Android handle digital legacy differently Your family doesn't need access to everything, just what helps them help you Digital preparedness gaps exist whether you're traveling or at home Episode Highlights: [0:04] The Spain vacation wake-up call: digitally prepared or digitally locked out? [2:01] The realization: our son would be completely locked out of our digital accounts [2:43] iPhone Legacy Contact setup: easy for iPhone users, complicated for Android users [3:36] The limitation: Legacy Contact requires death certificates, not for incapacitation [4:20] The game changer: password manager emergency contact feature [4:42] 24-hour access balance: preventing accidents while enabling emergencies [6:31] Android confession: we didn't set up Google inactive account manager before traveling [7:37] What family actually needs access to: phones, email, and password managers [9:02] The Google Drive solution: sharing emergency contact information safely [10:27] International travel bonus: AI prompt for iPhone security settings Action Steps: Pick one trusted person as your digital emergency backup and have the conversation iPhone users: set up Legacy Contact for long-term planning Android users: research and set up Google inactive account manager Add an emergency contact to your password manager if available Consult your estate attorney about digital access laws and appropriate legal document wording AI Prompt to Copy and Paste: I'm traveling internationally with an iPhone. What safety and privacy settings should I check before I leave? Please provide a checklist with instructions. Resources Mentioned: iPhone Legacy Contact feature: https://support.apple.com/en-us/102631 Android Google inactive account manager: https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/3036546?hl=en Password manager emergency contact features Estate attorney consultation for digital access planning Coming Up Next: Episode 49: Vacation Ready: Pet and Business Plans That Let You Truly Relax Connect with Thoughtful Planning: Facebook: https://facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit Thank You for Listening! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone planning a trip. Keywords: digital preparedness, emergency access, legacy contact, password manager, travel planning, family emergency planning, digital legacy, iPhone security, Android planning, estate planning, digital assets, emergency contacts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode Summary: In this kickoff episode of our travel planning series, Honey and Santiago share real-life lessons from their recent international vacation. They walk through a simple, actionable checklist to help you get prepared before you travel. From choosing your trusted contacts to prepping your home, this episode gives you the essential steps to protect your loved ones while you are away. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only and does not contain all possible travel advice. Please consult a local professional for specific guidance for your needs. Essential Question: What should you do before your trip to make sure your loved ones can help you in an emergency? Episode Highlights: Registering for the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP) Choosing your trusted person and backup contacts Sharing travel itinerary, insurance information and emergency contacts Prepping your home: security, mail, yard and trash Taking a photo of where you park and sending it to your contact Travel tech tips: phone plans, credit card alerts and battery rules Pet care and small business reminders (with more details coming in later episodes) Advice from Hosts: Do not announce your travel dates publicly, especially if no one is staying at your home Double-check lithium-ion battery rules before flying Print important documents like your passport and medication list and store them in a separate place from the originals Conclusion: By following this checklist, you will feel confident and prepared before you leave home. Stay tuned for the next episode where Santiago and Honey dive into travel insurance essentials and how to make sure your family knows what to do if something happens. Resources Shared: U.S. Department of State STEP Program: https://mytravel.state.gov/s/step Passport Information: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/passport-help/after-getting-passport.html Lithium Battery: https://www.faa.gov/hazmat/packsafe/lithium-batteries Texx: Season 1 Episode 15: https://youtu.be/-eI3vFieTos?si=KwR7DJOK5bpzrP4j Pet Care Legacy Guide: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/petcarelegacyguide If you would like a checklist of all items referenced in the podcast send an email to info@legacytoolkit.com and in the subject add 'Travel checklist'. Connect with Thoughtful Planning Hosts, Santiago & Honey: Website: legacytoolkit.com/podcast Facebook: facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney LinkedIn: Legacy Toolkit on LinkedIn Thank You for Listening!Don’t forget to subscribe, leave us a review and share this episode with a friend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode Summary: Could a forgotten power bill from a co-op be holding money that rightfully belongs to you or your loved ones? In this episode of Thoughtful Planning, Honey explains how capital credits from electric cooperatives work, why they matter, and how they can go unnoticed for years. She shares her personal experience of moving frequently as a military family and how failing to document known co-op balances could have left her family in the dark. Learn the questions to ask, what to document, and how to protect this often-overlooked piece of your estate plan. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. Please consult a local professional for specific guidance for your needs. Essential Question: What capital credit accounts might be quietly building in the background? And have you made it clear enough that your family would know how to find and claim them if needed? Episode Highlights: How co-op electricity providers return profits to customers as capital credits Why your co-op may owe you money even years after you've moved The $600 Honey and Santiago have in capital credits across two homes in Fargo What a POD (payable on death) form is and how it helps What to document: co-op name, contact info, account number, payout policy, balance, and more The importance of annual follow-up and setting reminders Why some co-ops don’t offer beneficiary forms (and what to do about it) Advice from Host: Start by searching your former city or state and “+ electric cooperative” to see if you’ve been served by one. Then call or visit the co-op’s site to look for capital credit policies. Ask if they offer a beneficiary form and document everything clearly. Share this information with your executor or a trusted family member. Lastly, add an annual reminder to follow up, especially if the credits are not immediately payable. Conclusion: It’s not just the big accounts or legal documents that shape your legacy. Even money sitting in a co-op account can matter when it comes to helping your family avoid confusion. Documenting your capital credits ensures your loved ones don’t miss what’s already yours. Resources Shared: Unclaimed Property – Texas Comptroller If a co-op can’t reach you, capital credits may be turned over to the state. 🔗 https://claimit.texas.gov MissingMoney.com Double-check for any co-op credits that may have already been turned over to the state. 🔗 https://www.missingmoney.com Connect with Thoughtful Planning Hosts, Santiago & Honey: Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit Thank You for Listening! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with a friend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode Summary: When most people think about leaving a legacy, they imagine money, possessions, or family traditions. But what if one of the most meaningful gifts you could leave behind is something most people never even consider — your brain? In this episode, Honey explores the rarely discussed topic of brain donation, including how it differs from organ donation and how it can contribute to groundbreaking research. She shares her and Santiago’s personal experience learning about the SPARC program and walks through key considerations if you’re thinking about making this unique and impactful gift part of your end-of-life planning. Disclaimer:This episode is for educational purposes only. Please consult a local professional for specific guidance for your needs. Essential Question: What if the most valuable gift you could leave behind isn’t in your bank account — but in your skull? Episode Highlights: The difference between organ donation and brain donation Why both healthy and affected brains are vital to research An overview of SPARC and how it supports military-related brain research What Honey learned by calling Harvard’s Brain Tissue Resource Center Questions to ask when researching brain donation programs Advice from Host: Start your research now while you’re clear of mind. Ask important questions — some programs may request medical history or have specific criteria. Talk to your family and document your wishes in your planning documents. Most likely, you can still have the funeral or burial of your choice, and most programs are free. Conclusion: Your will distributes what you own — but brain donation extends what you know. This gift has the potential to unlock answers, drive research, and bring healing to families for generations to come. It’s never too early to consider how your legacy might live on through science. Resources: SPARC: https://www.sparc-community.org/ Harvard University Brain Bank: https://hbtrc.mclean.harvard.edu/brain-donation/info/ VA Biorepository Brain Bank (VABBB): https://www.research.va.gov/programs/tissue_banking/control/default.cfm Brain Donor Project: https://braindonorproject.org/ Connect with Thoughtful Planning Hosts, Santiago & Honey: Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit Thank You for Listening!Don’t forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with a friend. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode Summary: In this series finale, Santiago and Honey Bueno bring together key insights from their exploration of end-of-life options, challenging conventional assumptions about "traditional" practices while presenting environmentally conscious alternatives. From home funerals to human composting, discover how your final arrangements can align with your values and protect both your loved ones and the environment. Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. Please consult a local professional for specific guidance regarding aftercare and legal options in your state. Essential Question: What impact do you want your final farewell to have on your loved ones and the environment? Episode Highlights: Conventional burial practices originated during Civil War era Legal home funeral options available in most states Natural burial alternatives that skip embalming and concrete vaults Emerging options like human composting and aquamation Pet aftercare considerations including aquamation Pre-planning benefits including travel protection Cost-saving strategies through alternative arrangements State-specific legal considerations Environmental impact of different options Advice from Santiago and Honey: Research what's legal in your state Consider having a backup plan for unexpected circumstances Pre-plan to lock in current prices and prevent family stress Think about environmental impact when making choices Include pet arrangements in your planning Consider cost-saving alternatives like home funerals Take time to explore options before making final decisions Conclusion: Take time to explore your options and make choices that align with your values while protecting both your loved ones and the environment. Most importantly, communicate your wishes clearly with your family and document them properly to ensure they're honored. Resources From Season 2: Episode 35: Life Insurance or Pre-Planning? What’s Right for You?: https://youtu.be/sogMlEwG8oo Episode 36: Home Funerals: Honoring Traditions: https://youtu.be/4jkhfGyXhU8 Episode 37: The Truth About Natural Burials: Ditch the Vaults: https://youtu.be/Ekz6rea4km8 Episode 38: Would You Choose Human Composting? The Future of Death Care: https://youtu.be/ZAKXD5fOPyk Episode 39: What Happens Next? Sustainable Pet Aftercare with Aquamation: https://youtu.be/Rm2B6FKHVdg Connect with Thoughtful Planning: Website: legacytoolkit.com/podcast Facebook: facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney LinkedIn: Legacy Toolkit on LinkedIn Thank You for Listening! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with a friend who might need it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices