To Be A Boy

Recorded live at Push 4 Paternity Leave, this super special episode captures the vibe that was that day. Consider it another chance to soak up the energy, humour and urgency behind the fight for better parental leave. Expect brilliant speeches, honest stories and a powerful case for why better paternity leave matters for dads, mums, children, relationships and society. In short: two weeks is a joke, and parents deserve more.

We’re joined by Professor Paul Galdas (University of York), chair of the Men’s Health Academic Network and a key architect of the UK’s men’s health strategy. We dig into why men delay seeking help and why the answer isn’t “men need to do better”, but services that fit how men actually live. From loneliness and deprivation to father-inclusive care, paternity leave, and the post-Manosphere search for meaning, this is a practical episode on what needs to change and what parents can do for the boys in their orbit.

Louis Theroux’s Manosphere documentary asked what is this? This episode asks what do we do now? Joined by NSPCC’s Ineke Houtenbos, we unpack how boys actually encounter Manosphere content, why algorithms reward rage, and what it’s really doing to boys’ mental health and girls’ safety. One for parents looking for what they can do when the internet is shouting louder than they are.Here with some signposts for you: Tackling misogyny masterclass | On-demand training | NSPCC LearningFree online safety webinars for schools | NSPCC LearningChildline | Free counselling service for kids and young people | ChildlineContact us | NSPCCReport child abuse | NSPCCDonate to Charity Online | Give to NSPCC today | NSPCC

Joe Wicks, is a GOOD MAN – the type we're glad to role model to our boys. And Hark! Lucky us, he joins To Be A Boy for a powerful conversation about boys, body image, gym culture, social media pressure and modern fatherhood. The man is home schooling his four children alongside his wife and we love that for them. From growing up without a male role model to becoming a PE teacher to millions, Joe reflects on how movement can support boys’ mental health and when fitness culture can tip into obsession and explores how parents can help boys grow into kind, emotionally healthy men, not just strong bodies.A must‑listen for anyone raising boys in a world full of algorithms, abs and unrealistic expectations.

The UK is deciding whether to ban under‑16s from social media, and we’ve got the Online Safety Minister in the hot seat but before that they chew the fat on THAT vote in parliament and who’s right in the knock ginger/knock-a-door run debate…Elliott and Joeli grill Kanishka Narayan on screen‑time addiction, bullying, harmful content, porn regulation, school‑wide phone bans, and whether often-times glacial governments stand a chance of keeping up with tech giants.If you care about kids, policy or your own scrolling habits, thisone’s for you.Parents are invited to access the online safety hubhere: https://www.educateagainsthate.com/online-safety-parent-hub/And the online consultation here: http://www.gov.uk/government/consultations/growing-up-in-the-online-world-a-national-consultationThis episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcaremarketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK. Find out more here: ⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/49y19rl⁠⁠

Rerelease alert! First aired on 10 June 2025, this episode with our favourite feels even more relevant now that the government is flirting with the idea of booting under 16s off social media entirely. So we’re revisiting our chat with 15 year old Josh Sargent — boy, book writer, manosphere decoder, and all round legend. Josh breaks down how teen boys get sucked into online masculinity culture, why Andrew Tate was everywhere, and what finally snapped him out of it. Still one of our favourite episodes, and honestly… even more relevant (and alarming) in 2026.We're also pointing you towards our Push for Paternity March: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/push-for-paternity-leave-tickets-1982354647113This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: ⁠⁠http://bit.ly/49y19rl⁠⁠

In this episode of To Be A Boy, Elliott and Joeli bring together two seasoned secondary school teachers: Will in Newcastle and Machel in London to dig into pull back the curtain on what’s actually going on with boys today. From “TikTokified” worldviews and “bantified” misogyny to the quiet crises unfolding in the school corridors, they reveal a rapidly shifting landscape that teachers are somehow expected to fix with little more than a whiteboard pen and a prayer. Their stories are equal parts hard, inspiring and deeply human, offering a frontline perspective that cuts through the headlines and hysteria.This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl

We sit down with the absolutely delightful Gary Barker, CEO of Equimundo for an honest and hopeful conversation about why so many boys and men feel lonely, overwhelmed and disconnected. No small ask: we're asking him what the hell we can do about it. From friendships to (ye olde favourite,) screens to the pressure to “provide,” Gary talks Joeli and Elliott through the big picture, and has a signature warmth that'll suck you in and some much needed clarity. We're jealous that you haven't heard this yet - enjoy! https://equimundo.orghttps://www.equimundo.org/resources/state-of-uk-men-2025/This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies.From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl

What happens when you dig into unpaid labour and accidentally expose the entire wiring of modern family life?In this episode of To Be A Boy, Joeli and Elliott chat with the brilliant Melissa Hogenboom, author of Breadwinners, about why sharing the care still feels revolutionary, why breadwinning still clings to outdated gender scripts, and why so many men discover far too late that the nappy bag does not self‑restock. Together they unpack the invisible work running households, relationships and mental health: the unseen planning others absorb, the pressure men carry as designated “providers,” and the hopeful rise of caring masculinities. A funny, warm, quietly radical episode for anyone trying to build a more equal home, one chore, one conversation at a time. This episode is supported by Philips Avent, a brand trusted by families for over 40 years. ⁠With its Share the Care mission⁠, the brand is helping mums reclaim time for themselves and championing a shift in how we think about parenting.

We start the podcast’s year off with a super special guest: it’s only the Prime Minister in the chair! This episode of To Be A Boy was recorded in IKEA Croydon, among meatballs and Billy bookcases, where Elliott Rae and Joeli Brearley grilled Sir Keir Starmer on the biggest shake-up to workers’ rights in a generation: the Employment Rights Act.We’re talking stronger flexible working laws, miscarriage leave, enhanced protections for parents, and a day-one right to sick pay. Plus, we tackle zero-hour contracts, sexual harassment prevention, and menopause action plans. And because we’re us, we didn’t stop there: childcare costs, mental health for dads, and whether six weeks paid paternity leave could actually happen all made the cut.It’s bold, it’s honest, and it’s served with a side of Swedish meatballs. If you care about parental rights, gender equality, and the future of family life in the UK, this is the episode you didn’t know you needed.This episode is supported by Koru Kids, a childcare marketplace helping busy families find brilliant, trusted part-time nannies. From school pickups to homework, dinner and winding down, Koru Kids gives parents some easy days in their week, with vetted, trained nannies across the UK.Find out more here: http://bit.ly/49y19rl

What does it take to raise a brilliant boy with autism in a world full of stigma, systemic hurdles, and cultural misconceptions? In this episode, childcare lawyer and super-mum Deborah Otubambo shares her 21-year journey of advocacy, resilience, and hope whilst raising a son with autism. From the early days of confusion and cultural stigma to navigating the complex world of EHCPs and education, Deborah shares what it really takes to advocate for your child against systemic hurdles. She talks candidly about the emotional toll, the misconceptions she faced, and how her perspective on diagnosis evolved over time. This conversation is a raw and hopeful look at resilience, community, and redefining success for families of children with special educational needs.Some notes for you:The number of cases brought to tribunal that are successful is actually 98%: https://www.specialneedsjungle.com/55-rise-2024-send-tribunal-appeals-cost-families-incalculable/Costs can vary wildly - and unless you get legal aid then it can cost up to £20,000 to take this action. Resources mentioned in this episode include: https://www.ipsea.org.ukhttps://www.braain.co.uk/senhttps://family-action.org.uk/our-work-impact/send/https://sossen.org.ukhttps://www.specialneedsjungle.com

In this episode of To Be a Boy, our Elliott and Joeli are getting stuck into the fascinating (and occasionally sobering) world of modern masculinity. Joined by Joe Hall from Channel 4 and Fergus Navaratnam-Blair from the National Research Group, we’re unpacking the findings of the Mirror on Masculinities report. From why a third of men rarely see the kind of bloke they aspire to be in advertising, to why Angry Ginge streaming FIFA might be more relatable than Johnny Depp flogging aftershave, this episode is getting intoit. Expect some eyebrow-raising stats and plenty of insights as we tackle everything from the rise of Twitch streamers as role models to the curious concept of “masculinity vertigo.”

Joeli and Elliott are taking us through THAT Chanté Joseph Vogue article and asking if and why it’s uncool to have a boyfriend… This episode explores the complexities of modern relationships, the impact of social media, and the evolving roles of men and women. We’re also tackling topics like heterofatalism, the trad wife movement, and the balance of unpaid labour: all in a day’s work.