Windsors & Losers

When you're King, you don't have one birthday party; you have two. The Windsors marked King Charles's "official" birthday with a brooch-tastic parade and flyover, while elsewhere, Camilla's son Tom was busy extolling the virtues of uniquely British art of the putdown. And finally, we have another example to add to the list of Prince William's desire to be "The King of Change." So, do keep up: he's the Prince of Pubs and the King of Change.

Ah, it's betrothing season in the extended royal universe and, frankly, we adore every second of it. In this week's episode, we break down the forthcoming second wedding of Princess Anne's son Peter to the too-good-to-be-true Harriet Sperling, who is both gorgeous and gainfully employed. Plus, we celebrate the fourth (!!) wedding of Princess Diana's brother Charles, this one to former Nordic Person of the Year Cat Jarmon. In other royal news, there are developments over at the Duchy of Cornwall, where Prince William is shaking up literal centuries of tradition by making big changes after three years as its manager.

Prince William hosted a garden party, revealed how he likes his tea, and went through a wide range of emotions at an Aston Villa game. Meanwhile, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie returned to the London scene at a friend's 40th. And we recap a new list of British businesses who received royal warrants, asking ourselves: why do we care about these darn warrants so much?

This week, Eva and Allie discuss the latest twists and turns in Princess Diana's little brother Charles Spencer's love life. We couldn't help but wonder: could there be *too* much passion over there at Althorp House? Meanwhile, royal insider Anne Glenconner is blessing us with a new book filled with her unique royal insights. Her latest publication is about... picnics. You read that right. But trust us when we say that an essay on picnicking by Princess Margaret is one for the ages. And finally, where were you on April 29, 2011? It's hard to believe, but William and Kate are marking fifteen years married this week and, in honor of this great milestone, the Telegraph has a somewhat useful recap of the Waleses' last decade and a half.

Not so long ago, in a time called the nineties, Camilla Parker Bowles was the most hated person in Britain. Today, she’s Queen, without so much as a “consort” to qualify her status. How did she go from the “other woman” in the Charles and Diana fairytale-turned-nightmare to, as Allie puts it, “a granny with a book club”? In this re-listen of a classic Windsors & Losers episode, Eva and Allie introduce listeners to the magician who turned Camilla royal. And we ask, if Camilla was able to convince Britain to accept her, then surely there's a path back for Harry and Meghan?

Dear listeners, it finally happened. An intrepid Windsors & Losers host (Eva) was able to observe William and Kate as living and (presumably) breathing mortals. In today's episode, we recap this lofty BAFTAs sighting, recap all the Andrew news we'd previously missed, and muse momentarily on what's up with the Wessex-Edinburghs.

Oh, the royals... so much internal strife, and so little action. This week, we check in on the latest maneuvers from Camp Fergie, and wonder how Zara and Mike Tindall have managed to stay so... unproblematic. Prince William suffers an unfortunate comparison, which — through a long, winding road of logic — causes us to wonder about the state of the institution as a whole.

Why can't the royals just snack all day like normal people? In the latest royal crusade against eating, we learn about Princess Anne's preference for tea instead of luncheon. We also traipse through annals of royal real estate history in order to educate ourselves about the Sandringham home selected for Andrew Mountbatten Windsor (and its fitting proximity to... ooze). As a palate cleanser, we celebrate the release of His Majesty's new Amazon documentary, Finding Harmony, and reflect on how Charles was able to have his very own door — and special chair! — at the Windsor Castle premiere.

What a week to sink one's teeth into royal news. We spend more time than is natural dissecting the reasoning behind Will and Kate hiring a "crisis PR manager" named Liza Ravenscroft, whose own Linkedin says... she's a specialist in crisis and reputation management. We also celebrate Kate's 44th by pondering what she ordered for lunch with her mother and sister. And finally, we celebrate one great royal relation — Tom Parker Bowles, of course — and his paean to Wetherspoon's hotels in the Daily Mail.

It's a great week in the land of Windsors & Losers amid news that King Charles is doing well in his fight against cancer. We recap what this means for Charles's reign, as well as Prince William's engagement that mixed business casual with pints and the latest from the legal drama between Charles Spencer's estranged wife and current girlfriend.

What do you get the man who has everything? The keys to a garden kingdom neglected by his own parents for decades! King Charles marked his 77th birthday by unveiling some very idiosyncratic new gardens at Sandringham, one of his many stately homes. In less joyous news, we learn about the mauling (but fortunate recovery!) of Queen Camilla's grand-dog. And we curiously welcome Autumn with some spoken word from Princess Kate.

A long-awaited reckoning comes for the former Prince Andrew, now simply Andrew Mountbatten Windsor. As the sun sets on Andrews time as a privileged son, we cast our spotlight to another royal offspring waiting in the wings… and yes, we are talking about Tom Parker Bowles. TPB raises the question himself of him becoming a prince, while unrest brews in King Charles’s model town, and Diana’s siblings offer a handful of unsolicited life updates.