ADHD Mums

Half the conversations about AI are men in San Francisco telling you it'll change everything. The other half are people telling you it'll destroy the planet and your children's future.Neither of those people are doing the school run, the NDIS application, the lunchboxes, or holding it together at 9pm.This episode is for the mum in the middle. The one who's curious but hesitant. The one who's already using it but feels weird about it. The one who tried it once, got a creepy answer, and shut the tab.Leticia Andrack has worked in AI since 2014. She's autistic, ADHD, PDA, dyslexic, French, and a mum of two neurodivergent girls. She's not selling you anything. She's just telling you how to use the tool without it using you.This episode is for you ifYou've used AI to write the email you couldn't face — and felt a bit guilty about itYou're worried about the data, the environment, your kids' futures, and you can't tell which fear is realYou've vented to ChatGPT and it agreed with you so hard you almost did something you'd regretYou don't know the difference between Claude, ChatGPT, Gemini, or which one to even openYou feel behind, and behind feels like another thing on the listYou're sick of being mansplained to about technologyRESOURCES & REFERENCESTo connect with Laetitia Andrac - check her out here Understanding Zoe platform - check it out here📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

There is a moment at a family barbecue where your child isn’t sitting at the table.They’re walking.Talking.Eating on the move.And someone says it.'We didn’t have this ADHD thing when we had kids.'And just like that, it stops being about lunchand starts feeling like it’s about you.Because what sounds casuallands like doubt.WHAT WE COVER– Why 'we didn’t have ADHD back then' still shows up in families– What people see vs the invisible regulation work parents are doing– Familiarity bias and why ADHD gets dismissed as 'normal'– The concept of 'load blindness' in parenting– Why ADHD is more visible now (not more common)– How modern expectations make differences harder to hide– Why not forcing the battle is sometimes the most regulated choiceTHIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF– You’ve felt judged in everyday moments like meals or outings– Someone has questioned your child’s ADHD– You’re doing constant behind-the-scenes regulation work– You’ve second-guessed yourself after family comments– You’re trying to support your child without turning everything into a battleEPISODES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODECamouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/CONFESSIONS: Things I Can’t Say at the Playgroundhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-55-confessions-things-i-cant-say-at-the-playground/WHAT THE RESEARCH TELLS USADHD hasn’t suddenly appeared.One of the most cited global studies (175 studies analysed) shows prevalence has remained relatively stable — we’re just better at recognising it now.https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/135/4/e994/33967/Prevalence-of-Attention-Deficit-HyperactivityAustralian data tells a similar story.Children are entering school with a wider range of developmental profiles — particularly in communication and regulation.https://www.aedc.gov.au/resources/detail/2021-aedc-national-reportThis isn’t about kids being 'worse'.It’s about environments, expectations and visibility.HELPFUL LINKSFree ADHD Resourceshttps://adhdmums.com.au/resources/Advocacy Hubhttps://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/

School systems are built to notice disruption.The child throwing chairs.The child refusing to sit down.The child who can't stay quiet.But there is another group of kids.The ones who sit still.The ones who follow instructions.The ones teachers describe as 'lovely', 'polite', or 'no trouble at all'.And those are often the kids quietly falling apart.Because when a child internalises stress instead of showing it outwardly, the education system often doesn't see the struggle at all.In this episode we unpack what happens to internalising kids inside classrooms — why their needs are frequently missed, and what parents can actually do when the system isn't built to notice them.We also talk honestly about advocacy, complaints, and the uncomfortable reality that change inside the education system rarely happens unless parents create pressure.If your child looks fine at school but collapses at home, this conversation will likely feel very familiar.WHAT WE COVER– Why internalising kids are often invisible inside classroom systems– The difference between externalising behaviour and internalised stress– Why schools often rely on children to 'ask for help' even when that is neurologically difficult– Practical adjustments teachers can make that reduce invisible pressure for internalising students– How parents can translate what works at home into classroom supports– Why documenting school failures matters for long-term systemic change– How complaint processes to regional education offices actually work– Why data from parents is one of the only ways the education system changes– The difficult decision many families face when schools push children out– Why expulsion data matters for education policy reformTHIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…– Your child looks like they are coping at school but falls apart at home– School says 'they seem fine here' but you know the effort it takes for your child to get through the day– You have an internalising child who doesn't speak up about their needs– You're navigating school refusal or burnout– You've considered making a complaint about your child's school but don't know where to start– You're trying to advocate for your child inside a system that feels impossible to changeFind out more about Bronnie Hammond Vale herehttps://www.honeycombadvocacy.com/📬 Check out my Free Resource Mentioned in THIS EPISODEThe School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parentshttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/School Advocacy Hub of Resourceshttps://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/Episodes Mentioned in This EpisodeCamouflaging ADHD & Autistic Traits in Girls (with Millie Carr)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/replay-s1-episode-41-camouflaging-adhd-autistic-traits-in-girls-with-millie-carr-re-release/Neurodiverse Classrooms (with Millie Carr)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-33-neurodiverse-classrooms-with-millie-carr/When School Becomes the Trauma – School Serieshttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/The Great Gaslighting: When Schools Say “We Don’t See It” – School Serieshttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

You’ve sent the emails.You’ve attended the meetings.You’ve tried to be calm, collaborative, reasonable.And nothing changes.Then suddenly something serious happens — a suspension, an incident, a formal complaint — and overnight the school moves quickly.So what just happened?This episode unpacks the moment many ADHD mums eventually hit: the point where being reasonable stops working — and why that happens inside the school system.Because for many families, the problem isn’t communication.It’s understanding what schools actually respond to, what they quietly ignore, and how the system itself shapes those responses.WHAT WE COVERWhy being calm, collaborative and ‘reasonable’ often doesn’t move schoolsWhat schools actually respond to — and what gets quietly ignoredWhy emotional emails and long explanations often backfireThe reality behind ‘reasonable adjustments’ under Australian education lawWhy some adjustments are refused even when they appear simpleThe funding model most parents have never heard of: NCCDWhy teachers may genuinely say they can’t do something — even when it seems obviousThe difference between fairness and inclusion in schoolsWhen escalating a complaint becomes necessary (and how to do it properly)Why documentation, meeting notes and evidence matter far more than emotionTHIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…You feel like you’ve been polite, patient and collaborative… and nothing has changedYour child’s school says they ‘can’t’ implement adjustments that seem reasonableYou’ve asked for incident reports or documentation and never received themMeetings feel confusing or adversarialYou’re not sure when to keep negotiating and when to escalateYou’re trying to advocate for your child without becoming ‘that parent’ABOUT TODAY’S GUESTSara HockingEducational disability advocate supporting families navigating school discrimination, failed adjustments and escalation processes.Sarah works directly with families across Australia dealing with school-based disability support issues and understands both the legal framework and the practical realities of how schools respond.LEGISLATION REFERENCEDDisability Discrimination Act 1992 (Cth)Disability Standards for Education 2005 (Cth)These laws outline the obligation for Australian schools to provide reasonable adjustments for students with disability, provided those adjustments do not create an unjustifiable hardship for the school.FUNDING MODEL MENTIONEDNationally Consistent Collection of Data on School Students with Disability (NCCD)The NCCD is the Australian Government framework used to determine funding and support levels for students with disability in schools.Many parents assume funding follows their child directly to the school.In reality, the system is far more complex — and often much less transparent.FIND SARA HERESara Hocking – Educational Disability Advocatewww.seebeyondau.orgRELATED ADHD MUMS EPISODES🎧 When School Decides Your Child Is the Problemhttps://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/🎧 Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problemshttps://adhdmums.com.au/raising-strong-children/FREE PARENT RESOURCES📘 The School Choice Kithttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/SHARE YOUR SCHOOL EXPERIENCEIf you’ve experienced school pushback, refused adjustments, or confusing processes around disability support, you can share your experience here:https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864Your experiences help shape future episodes and resources for other ADHD mums navigating the same systems.

You’re sitting in a meeting thinking you’re here to talk about support.There’s a plan. There are ‘adjustments’.And yet your child is still escalating… and suddenly the school is hinting at removal, reduced hours, or ‘this isn’t the right setting’.This episode is the practical middle bit no one gives you:When a plan exists, but it’s either the wrong plan — or it’s not actually being applied.WHY THIS MATTERSWhen a school says ‘the plan isn’t working’, it often gets translated as ‘your child is the problem’.But plans fail for predictable reasons:they’re too big and unworkable in a class of 28no one is actually implementing them consistentlyteachers don’t understand the ‘why’ behind the strategiesthe plan ignores language processing, sensory load, or demand avoidancethere’s no review cycle, no accountability, no data, just documentationthe teacher doesn't have the capacity to implement the plan in the classroom due to numbers and workload.And when the plan becomes a ‘set and forget’ document, you get stuck in a dangerous loop:‘We tried everything’ → escalation continues → the child gets labelled → exclusion gets normalised.WHAT WE COVERWhy an IEP is a start, not a manualHow ‘too many strategies at once’ makes a plan fail fastWhat to ask when the school says ‘we’ve tried everything’How to check if staff actually understand what’s on the planWhy ‘accommodation’ can trigger teacher resistance — and how ‘considerations’ changes the toneThe missing piece in most behaviour plans: language processing and communication loadHow literal thinking, vague instructions, and high language demand can create ‘refusal’ and shutdownHow to build accountability into the plan (review dates, outcomes, roles, communication method)Red flags that the school has decided your child is ‘too hard’Green flags that the team is still in curiosity, collaboration, and problem-solvingOrchid vs dandelion kids: when pushing through builds resilience, and when it becomes traumaTHIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…your child has a plan at school but behaviour is still escalatingyou keep hearing ‘we’re doing everything’ but nothing changesthe teacher looks overwhelmed and the plan feels impossible in real lifeyour child gets labelled ‘defiant’ or ‘refusing’ and you suspect it’s processing/demand/safetyyou’re trying to work out ‘do we persist or do we leave?’you want practical language for meetings without becoming ‘that mum’MORE ABOUT SALLY GALLOWAY & KAT MARRINGTONKat Marrington (Speech Pathologist) at www.Talkiplay.comSally Galloway (Occupational Therapist) at www.sallygalloway.com.au🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED IN THIS TRANSCRIPT1️⃣ When School Decides Your Child Is the Problemhttps://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/2️⃣ Vanessa LaPointe EpisodeGrieving the Child You Imagined — While Loving the One in Front of Youhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/parenting-grief-adhd-mums3️⃣ Resilience vs Trauma Episode (Emma Rose)Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problemshttps://adhdmums.com.au/raising-strong-children/🌸 ORCHID & DANDELION REFERENCEDr W. Thomas BoyceDevelopmental paediatrician and author of The Orchid and the DandelionBoyce, W. T. (2019). The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Sensitive Children Face Challenges and How All Can Thrive. Knopf.📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:Bullying Response Kit https://adhdmums.com.au/product/bullying-response-kit-adhd-mums/The School Choice Kithttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/Explaining ADHD to Kids – Parents Guidehttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/explaining-adhd-to-kids-parents-guide/📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:Making School Work – Parent Guide ($20)https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

You’re not lying on the couch saying ‘poor me.’You’re functioning. Packing lunches. Showing up. Holding it together.But quietly, inside, you’ve started believing:‘This is just how it is for me.’WHY THIS MATTERSADHD mums carry more correction, more visible mistakes, more invisible labour, more system friction.So when something goes wrong, it doesn’t land as ‘that was hard.’It lands as proof.Proof you’re behind.Proof you’re failing.Proof this is who you are.And once shame becomes the explanation, your brain stops looking for options.Not because you don’t want change.Because the load is already too high.WHAT WE COVERThe difference between a victim moment and a victim identityWhy ADHD conditioning makes shame feel factualHow ‘nothing works in our house anyway’ protects you from hopeThe motherhood shame loop that quietly shrinks your lifeWhy waiting for fairness before you move will keep costing youResponsibility without blame — and why that mattersThe one question that reopens possibility without forcing actionTHIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…You’ve stopped trying in one area because failing again feels unbearableYou feel resentful but also guilty for feeling resentfulYou avoid things before they even go wrongYou tell yourself you’re ‘just bad at this stage’Being validated feels relieving… but nothing changes afterwardsRELATED ADHD MUMS EPISODES🎧 Hidden Cost of Being The Good Girlhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/goodgirlcost/🎧 When You Can’t Relax Even When It’s Quiethttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/why-adhd-mums-cant-relax/🎧 The ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’ (Quick Reset)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://bit.ly/3ZQl0O8✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

This episode is for ADHD mums who have ever sat in a car park before an assessment and felt their whole nervous system start negotiating with the evidence.Because the paperwork looks fine.The report cards look fine.Your life looks fine.And you’re standing there knowing that ‘fine’ is exactly what disqualifies you.This is the ADHD myth as it actually lands. Not as a hot take online — but as a private internal audit that starts the second you consider asking for help.It’s the voice that says: ‘Everyone says they have ADHD now, don’t they?’And the way your body believes it before you even get to answer back.WHAT WE COVER– The ‘good school report’ trap and why it makes women doubt themselves– Why visible competence is often just quiet compensation– How anxiety, eating disorders, burnout and depression get missed when you’re not disruptive– The internal investigation ADHD mums run before they ever ask for help– Why ‘you’ve managed this long’ lands as dismissal, not reassurance– How vigilance gets trained in childhood and then masquerades as personality– Why gender shifts the cost of impulsivity, mistakes, and social timing– How hypervigilance becomes the price of belonging– Why motherhood doesn’t create the load, it exposes it– The difference between being tired and constantly compensating– How media narratives about ADHD being a ‘trend’ reinforce silence and shameTHIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU IF…– you have ‘good’ school reports and still feel like you’re drowning– you rehearse what to say before appointments so you don’t sound ‘dramatic’– you minimise automatically and tell yourself other people have it worse– you’ve been called controlling when you’re actually doing risk management– you feel embarrassed even seeking an assessment– you relate to being ‘a pleasure to have in class’ while quietly falling apart– you’ve carried the mental load for years and only now it’s breaking throughRELATED EPISODESYou Were the Good Girl. That’s Why You’re Falling Apart Nowhttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/Making the Invisible Mental Load Visible (Partners)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-73-making-the-invisible-mental-load-visible/The ADHD Myth of ‘Just Try Harder’ (Quick Reset)https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/RESOURCES & REFERENCES– ADHD in women and girls: internalising presentations and delayed identification– Burnout, anxiety and depression as common outcomes of long-term compensation– The impact of social conditioning and gender expectations on symptom visibilityLISTENER QUESTIONS & COMMUNITYSubmit a Listener Question (anonymous option)Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313If there’s something you want answered on the podcast, you can submit a question here — anonymously if you prefer.https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864Share Feedback or Topic RequestsHave a topic you’d like covered, or feedback you want to pass on?https://form.jotform.com/243189306607864Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor shared language, lived experience, and conversations with other mums who don’t need convincing.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmums

This episode is for ADHD mums who feel their nervous system spike over questions that look harmless on the surface. The kind of questions that arrive when the brain is already full, already tracking consequences, already holding the household together. What’s commonly said is that this is about tone, patience, or communication. What actually happens is that one brain becomes the default place where uncertainty is dropped, again and again, until even small interruptions start to hurt.The moment is familiar. A partner asks about milk, school times, or whether it’s ‘okay’ to do something. The question isn’t urgent. It isn’t unreasonable. But it lands as work. Not because the mum is controlling or irritable, but because her brain is already running the system. This episode names what that interruption really costs, and why it keeps getting misread as an attitude problem instead of a capacity one.In This Episode, We Cover– How everyday questions quietly route responsibility to the same person– Why being ‘just asked’ is not neutral when one brain is already saturated– The social script that frames overload as impatience or moodiness– How certainty-seeking in one partner becomes burnout in the other– Why ADHD mums become the household search engine without consenting to the role– The cumulative cost of interruption, not the content of the questionThis Episode Is For You If– You snap at small questions and immediately feel guilty– You’re praised for being flexible while your capacity keeps shrinking– You notice that decisions default to you, even when others could decide– You dread interaction because it so often turns into another task– You’ve been told you’re overreacting when your body is already at its limitWhen this pattern stays unnamed, ADHD mums adapt quietly. They answer questions they shouldn’t have to answer. They decide things prematurely just to stop the interruption. They carry responsibility they never agreed to carry. Over time, the brain never gets to rest. It stays on duty, waiting for the next drop.What looks like a communication issue is often a structural one. When every uncertainty is routed through the same nervous system, exhaustion becomes inevitable. Naming that isn’t withdrawal. It’s a refusal to keep absorbing costs that were never meant to be individual.📬 Listener Questions & CommunitySubmit a Listener Question (anonymous option)If there’s something you want answered on the podcast, you can submit a question here — anonymously if you prefer.https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864Share Feedback or Topic RequestsHave a topic you’d like covered, or feedback you want to pass on? You can send it through here.https://form.jotform.com/243189306607864Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmums