ADHD Mums

📬 Listener Questions & CommunityIt's 5:45 PM. I'm cooking three separate dinners on not enough burners. My six-year-old is crying about the green spoon. My eight-year-old is in a Minecraft cave with a dog that needs a bone. My ten-year-old has found paint.'Find a good stopping place' is good advice.It just assumes conditions that don't exist in this house.What We CoverThe 5:45 PM scenario in full — three kids, three meals, three headphones, zero spare burners, and what it actually costs to transition one child off a screen while managing the restCompliance depletion — why your child has run out of yeses by dinner time, and why that's not defiance or addictionSelf-determination theory and autonomy — why the iPad might be the only thing your child got to choose all day, and what happens when you take itWhy 'find a good stopping place' works on Saturday morning and collapses on Wednesday night — and what's actually different between those two momentsThe working memory piece — why your child isn't defying the boundary, they just can't hold it without you standing thereTask-switching costs for the ADHD brain — what every transition actually costs you at the end of the dayWhy you're not managing the transitions. You are the transition.The Saturday morning benchmark — why one good morning doesn't set the standard, and why comparing Wednesday night to it is destroying youWhat the parenting advice doesn't account for: one adult, multiple kids, depleted executive function, and no supportFree ResourcesSurviving the Mental Load of the School Year (Free)👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-year-mental-load-kit/Household Family Meeting Template (Free)👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-household-family-meeting-template/Paid ResourceMeltdown & Shutdown Guide for Mums & Children👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-meltdowns-strategies-for-parents/Related EpisodesWhen a Neuroscientist Says iPads Cause ADHD — And You Wonder if You've Damaged Your Kids | Listen hereS3 EP44 — Why Bad Behaviour Is Rarely Bad at All (and How to Respond Instead) | Listen hereS3 EP12 — Quick Reset: I Can't Stop Snapping When My Child Does This One Thing | Listen hereS2 EP84 — I Love My Family… But I'm So F**king Angry (Mum Rage Part 1) | Listen hereS2 EP27 — Quick Tip: I Have an Antagonist in My House | Listen here🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcastReferencesArnsten, A. F. T., & Li, B.-M. (2005). Neurobiology of executive functions: Catecholamine influences on prefrontal cortical functions. Biological Psychiatry, 57(11), 1377–1384. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2004.08.019Arnsten, A. F. T. (2011). Catecholamine influences on dorsolateral prefrontal cortical networks. Biological Psychiatry, 69(12), e89–e99. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2011.01.027Barkley, R. A. (1997). Behavioral inhibition, sustained attention, and executive functions: Constructing a unifying theory of ADHD. Psychological Bulletin, 121(1), 65–94. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.121.1.65Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Muraven, M., & Tice, D. M. (1998). Ego depletion: Is the active self a limited resource? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74(5), 1252–1265. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1252Hagger, M. S., Chatzisarantis, N. L. D., Alberts, H., Anggono, C. O., Batailler, C., Birt, A. R., Brand, R., Brandt, M. J., Brewer, G., Bruyneel, S., Calvillo, D. P., Campbell, W. K., Cannon, P. R., Carlucci, M., Carruth, N. P., Cheung, T., Crowell, A., De Ridder, D. T. D., Dewitte, S., . . . Zwienenberg, M. (2016). A multilab preregistered replication of the ego-depletion effect. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 11(4), 546–573. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691616652873Herwig, U., Bräuer, K., Connemann, B., Spitzer, M., & Jakobs, O. (2018). Selective impairment of attentional set shifting in adults with ADHD. BMC Psychiatry, 18, Article 334. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1912-5Monsell, S. (2003). Task switching. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 7(3), 134–140. https://doi.org/10.1016/S1364-6613(03)00028-7Rubinstein, J. S., Meyer, D. E., & Evans, J. E. (2001). Executive control of cognitive processes in task switching. Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Perception and Performance, 27(4), 763–797. https://doi.org/10.1037/0096-1523.27.4.763Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68

The principal told you to contact region. Region told you to contact the principal. You're sitting in your car wondering if you're going quietly insane. You're not — and neither is the principal. The system is built to do exactly this, to everyone inside it. Sara Hocking is back to map a way out, and the news isn't what you think.What We Cover The one subject line that forces an official response — and why most schools have been waiting for someone to send itThe institutional rule that makes principals back their staff publicly even when they're moving things behind the scenes — and how to read the quiet changesThe escalation pathway nobody hands you, and the exact point where 95% of parents tap outThe strategic reason to keep going past that point even when it feels pointlessWhy teachers aren't ignoring you — Sara's frame for what's actually happening in the staffroom, and what they're being asked to triage every dayThe paper-trail trick you can do in 30 seconds on your phone after every conversationWhy you arrive at every school meeting already at a ten, and what the other parents in the room don't realise about themselvesWhat restraint, expulsion and catchment actually mean — and the policy vacuum that hands one principal the call when there should be a system holding itStop waiting for an apology. Sara explains why it isn't coming from individuals, and what to watch for from the structure instead.Free ResourcesSchool Complaint & Escalation Guide: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/Quiet Exclusion Kit: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/More from SaraSara Hocking runs See Beyond — neuroaffirming, nervous-system-informed resources for parents and schools, including free printables you can send straight to your child's teacher: https://seebeyondau.org/Paid ResourcesMaking School Work — Parent Guide: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/School Burnout — When School Can't Cope: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-burnout-when-school-cant-cope/Related EpisodesSara's Part 1 — When You Stay Calm at School and Leave Feeling Like You Didn't Do Enough — Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6LrYWX3eDU3LeoC12kMw4A?si=5OwOPF0oQcGjiXhwzL69zQ | Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/adhd-mums/id1686843092?i=1000753099488S3 EP8: Advocating for Your Child Shouldn't Break You — But It Often Does — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-8-quick-reset-advocating-for-your-child-shouldnt-break-you-but-it-often-does/S3 EP7: The Great Gaslighting — When Schools Say 'We Don't See It' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-school-series-the-great-gaslighting-when-schools-say-we-dont-see-it/S3 EP9: When the IEP Meeting Feels Like a Battle You Didn't Ask For — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-9-when-the-iep-meeting-feels-like-a-battle-you-didnt-ask-for/S3: When School Decides Your Child Is the Problem — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/when-school-decides-your-child-is-the-problem/S3: Is the Problem the Child — Or the Learning Plan? — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/is-the-problem-the-child-or-the-learning-plan/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send a WhatsApp voice or written on 0403 457 313Send a SMS voice or written on 0403 457 313👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

You've spent more time on drop-offs, pickups and meetings this week than your kid has spent actually learning.You keep telling yourself the routine is good for them. They come home flat anyway.You can see it isn't working. You just can't picture what else looks like.So you stay on the fence. Another term. Another meeting. Another 11pm google.What we coverWhy most homeschoolers in Australia didn't plan to homeschool — and what 'accidental homeschooling' actually meansThe two competing fears keeping you stuck — and which one usually wins in the endWhat 'enough is enough' really looks like (it's rarely one big moment — it's bankruptcy logic: slow, then very fast)What a homeschool day actually looks like when you're not running school-at-homeThe legal stuff schools won't tell you — you don't need their permissionWhy $50k a year still doesn't fix this, and what you might actually be paying forHow to take a term off without making a forever decisionWhy bullying gets reframed as 'resilience-building' at school but is illegal at workWhy this episode mattersThe fence is the hardest place to live. Most parents sit there longer than the kid can afford. Rebecca has spoken to hundreds of families about why they finally jumped — and the answer isn't 'they were ready.' It's that the fear of staying finally outweighed the fear of leaving. This episode names the decision underneath the decision, and hands you a permission slip you probably didn't know existed.This episode is for you ifYou've tried two schools, maybe three, and nothing's stuckThe meetings have started to outnumber the actual learningYou keep saying 'maybe next term' and next term keeps not comingYou're more scared of Uncle Ned's questions at Christmas than you'd like to admitPart of you knows it isn't working, and part of you can't picture what else looks likeYou've already googled 'homeschooling Queensland' at 11pm and closed the tabFor more about Dr. Rebecca Englishhttps://www.qut.edu.au/about/our-people/academic-profiles/r.englishJane's Related EpisodesS1 EP63 — The Episode That Led Jane to Choose Homeschooling (Nicki Farrell, Wildlings) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/63-episode-that-led-jane-to-choose-homeschooling/S2 EP7 — Raising Strong Children: How to Support Without Always Solving Their Problems (Emma Rose Parsons, Spectrum House) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-7-raising-strong-children-how-to-support-without-always-solving-their-problems/S2 EP33 — Autistic Burnout: Self-Awareness Part 2 (Jane solo) 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-33-preventing-autistic-burnout-practical-tips-for-neurodivergent-mums-and-their-children/S3 EP20 — SCHOOL SERIES: How to Choose a School That Won't Break Your Kid (or You) — Millie Carr https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-20-how-to-choose-a-school-that-wont-break-your-kid-or-you/📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:Choosing the Right Schoolhttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parentshttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:When School Looks Fine But Isn’t Understanding Burnout, Masking & School Can’tMaking School Work: A Parent’s Guide to Neurodivergent Kids and the SystemSchool Advocacy Hub of Resourceshttps://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

If your child looks ‘fine’ at school… but falls apart the second they get home —this episode is for you.🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:What masking really looks like in a classroom settingWhy ‘they’re fine at school’ can be deeply misleadingThe invisible work happening before the school day even startsWhy internalising kids are often missed entirelyWhat it costs to ‘look like you’re coping’ all dayWhy asking a child to self-advocate isn’t always realisticHow anxiety builds when expectations aren’t predictableThe difference between behaviour you can see… and effort you can’tWhy some kids nod, smile… and completely miss instructionsWhat actually reduces stress in the classroom (and what doesn’t)💭 This episode is for you if:Your child holds it together at school but unravels at homeYou’ve been told ‘we’re not seeing that here’Your child doesn’t speak up when they’re strugglingYou can see the effort they’re putting in — even if others can’tyou’re trying to explain your child to the school and not being heardYou feel stuck between what you see… and what they report📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parentshttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:When School Looks Fine But Isn’t Understanding Burnout, Masking & School Can’tMaking School Work: A Parent’s Guide to Neurodivergent Kids and the SystemSchool Advocacy Hub of Resourceshttps://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

If you’ve ever sat in a school meetinghearing what’s ‘expected’…and thought‘this feels like too much… too early’ —this episode is for you.Because sometimes it’s not subtle.It’s that quiet moment where something doesn’t sit right…but you’re told it’s normal.In this episode, we unpack what’s really happening when school expectations keep creeping up — academically, behaviourally, socially — and why so many kids are being asked to meet standards that don’t actually match where they are.💭 This episode is for you if:– You’ve thought ‘this feels too much for their age’– Your child is struggling, but you know they’re capable– You’ve been told ‘this is just how school is now’– Your child is falling behind quickly and can’t catch up– You’re noticing stress, resistance, or shutdown around school– You’re questioning whether the system is actually the issue🎧 Related EpisodesWhen School Becomes the Trauma – School Serieshttps://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/s2-ep2-school-series-when-school-becomes-the-trauma-what-no-one-tells-adhd-parents/Here’s the part most people don’t say out loud:If it feels too big…too fast…too much…that doesn’t automatically meanyour child is the problem.Sometimes it meansthe expectations have movedand no one stoppedto checkwho they were leaving behind.For more about Dr. Rebecca Englishhttps://www.qut.edu.au/about/our-people/academic-profiles/r.english📬 Check out my Free Resources on Schools:The School Choice Kithttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/the-school-choice-kit/The School Complaint & Escalation Guide for Parentshttps://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/📬 Check out my Paid Resource on Schools:Making School Work – Parent Guide ($20)https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/School Advocacy Hub of Resourceshttps://adhdmums.com.au/advocacy/📬 Listener Questions & Community🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:https://wa.me/61403457313✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook GroupFor community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast