95. When You Make Yourself the Joke — And It Turns Into ‘That’s Just Who I Am’

95. When You Make Yourself the Joke — And It Turns Into ‘That’s Just Who I Am’

From ADHD Mums by Jane McFadden

April 1, 2026 · 11 min · Season 3 · Episode 98

About this episode

This episode explores the impact of self-deprecating humour on personal identity and social interactions for those feeling overwhelmed.

In this episode, we unpack the very real (and very common) experience of showing up already stretched… masking it with humour… and then internalising the entire thing as a personality flaw. The jokes land. People laugh. It looks like you’re coping. But underneath it — something else is happening. 🧠 What We Cover in This Episode: What’s actually happening when you default to self-deprecating humour Why ‘being funny about it’ can be a form of real-time regulation How overwhelm gets rewritten as ‘this is just who I am’ The hidden role of impression management in social situations Why you leave interactions replaying everything you said What ‘cognitive downplaying’ looks like in everyday life How overcommitment + pressure turns into identity, not context Why nothing changes when you minimise what’s actually too much The moment it shifts from ‘this doesn’t work for me’ to ‘I am the problem’ What it looks like to move the pressure off you — and back onto the situation 💭 This episode is for you if: You make jokes when you’re actually overwhelmed You leave social situations thinking ‘I did it again’ You overcommit, then feel trapped in it You replay what you said and cringe later…

People in this episode

Host: Jane McFadden

Topics covered

  • self-deprecating humour
  • overwhelm
  • identity
  • impression management
  • social situations
  • cognitive downplaying

Keywords

  • ADHD
  • humour
  • overcommitment
  • identity
  • social anxiety
  • self-image
  • mental health

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