Why Over-Giving is Ruining Your Health & Relationships

Why Over-Giving is Ruining Your Health & Relationships

From Ask Kati Anything by Kati Morton, LMFT

May 28, 2026 · 55 min · Episode 316

About this episode

Kati Morton discusses the detrimental effects of over-giving on health and relationships, providing insights and actionable steps to address it.

Do you constantly over-do, over-give, and over-perform to "earn your keep" in your relationships? On this episode of Ask Kati Anything, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton transitions to an all-new, single-topic format to take a deep, evidence-based dive into the world of over-functioning. Through real community stories and personal reflections, Kati maps out the 6-stage cycle that leads from automatic over-giving straight into quiet resentment, eventual blowups, and toxic guilt. But this isn’t just an emotional burden. Kati shares fascinating, decades-spanning clinical research—including the concept of "unmitigated communion," a 7-year study following 1,340 couples, and a chilling 2022 medical study linking "self-silencing" directly to physical cardiovascular risks like carotid plaque. If your body is carrying what your mouth refuses to say, it is time to break the loop. Tune in to get a clear, 4-step actionable framework to practice "deliberate under-functioning," express specific needs, and tolerate the discomfort of choosing growth over chronic exhaustion. Chapters: 00:00 - A New Format for Ask Kati Anything 02:00 - What is Over-Functioning? Community Stories…

People in this episode

Host: Kati Morton

Topics covered

  • over-giving
  • relationships
  • mental health
  • self-silencing
  • emotional burden
  • deliberate under-functioning

Keywords

  • over-functioning
  • resentment
  • people-pleasing
  • self-care
  • emotional health
  • cardiovascular risks

Sponsors

BiOptimizers

Mentioned in this episode

Products: Magnesium Breakthrough

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