Asshole Animals, with Alice

Deep in the Eucalyptus forests of Australia, a fluffy grey creature dozes peacefully in the nook of a branch, blissfully unaware that across the world, a Zookeeper and amateur comedienne is determined to get to the bottom of whether or not Koalas are "assholes" or not. Thankfully for the small-brained Koala, they never will know. And you're not going to tell them...right? Joining Alice on her quest to find the truth is wildlife veterinarian, conservationist and Koala warzone resident - Dr Chloe Buiting. Listen as these two discuss Squirrel Monkey pickpocketing, Australian Magpie swooping, and Koala screeching. Our charity of the week this week is "Friends of the Koala" - a Koala Hospital in New South Wales putting any injured little guys back out into the bush. Check our their incredible work at: https://friendsofthekoala.org - and donate today if you love Koalas and want to save them!

It's difficult not to be jealous of Eagles, isn't it? Their giant wingspan, their majesty in the air, the gasps of wonder that follow them wherever they fly. The awe they strike upon us by simply existing in our skies is something to behold. And yet here we are - talking White-Tailed Eagles today...On the show to talk about his relationship with these majestic birds and to discuss his new book, which is CHOCK-FULL of cool animal facts, is wildlife photographer and honorary eagle himself, Hamza Yassin. Listen to this episode to hear about why we need Eagles and which animal Hamza considers an absolute asshole...Our charity of the week this week is the fabulous Roy Dennis Wildlife Foundation - putting in the hard work to return White-Tailed Eagles to our skies. Find them at https://roydennis.org to hear more about their work. Our sponsors of the show today are the fabulous Bristol Fungarium, who have made mushrooms their business and are interested in helping you add some mushroom magic to your life! Check them out at www.bristolfungarium.com!

If you're a Millenial, then chances are you grew up watching The Rescuers, so are somewhat traumatised by Gators, having watched young orphan Penny be tormented by Madame Medusa and her two, thicc pet alligators. But, this is reality, so we have important questions to address, the most pertinent being: "Are Gators actually assholes?", and to help Alice answer that question, we brought in native Floridian and the host of "Just the Zoo of Us" podcast: Ellen Weatherford! They’ll be diving into all the facts: their prehistoric backstory, their sneaky hunting strategies, their surprisingly tender parenting skills — and of course, their legendary ability to look completely harmless until they absolutely aren’t. So, are Gators swampy jerks that are keen to ruin your canoe trip? Or are they just misunderstood survival experts with a mouth full of teeth? Grab your floaties and maybe a helmet — let’s go wrestle with some gator facts!Our charity of the week this week is the brilliant and litigious: Centre for Biological Diversity, who are using the LAW to crack down on those destroying our planet. Find them at: https://www.biologicaldiversity.org/ and learn about the ways they're curb-stomping nature haters, in a lawful way. This episode of the podcast is sponsored by Bristol Fungarium - helping you bring a little mushroom magic into your life and your health routine, with their fabulous mushroom tinctures. Find out if mushroom tinctures are the right choice for you and your health needs at: www.bristolfungarium.com.

What do you think of when you think of an Emu? Dark, sweeping hair? Eyeliner? Lip piercings? Well, I hate to blow your minds, but you're actually thinking of Emos, you absolute spoon. Far less moody and listening to way less My Chemical Romance is the humble Emu, native to the chaotic Australia. Emus are tall, curious and make EXCELLENT Dads, so why are they on this podcast today?Joining Alice to be the justice that Emus need is the fabulous Christian Flores - Zookeeper, Paleo-educator and Emu enthusiast. Listen as they discuss Michael Jordan, Game of Thrones and a book about how to look after captive Dinosaurs!Our Charity of the week this week is the marvellous Bush Heritage Australia - who are fighting to keep Australia's unique flora and fauna alive and well. Join them in protecting many different species that call Australia home at: www.bushheritage.org.au.

It's hard to imagine that Alice would be poking fun at a bird with iridescent feathers, a beautiful flight pattern, and whose name LITERALLY means "little star", but here we are. It was hard to imagine that Donald Trump would turn out to be a wannabe Dictator....crazier things have happened in this timeline. Here to discuss one of Britain's most under-the-radar birds is celebrated author, TV producer, and creator of BBC's Springwatch: Stephen Moss - who researched Starlings to such a degree that he became their official biographer, releasing a book entitled: "The Starling: A Biography". Tune in to hear Alice and Stephen dissect the two personalities of the Starling: the one the general public see and the one it actually is. Hear them dive into topics such as the incredible Somerset murmurations, Roman augury, and of course Oasis vs Blur. Our charity of the week this week is shielding Somerset's land/plants/animals from more climate crises: the incredible Somerset Wildlife Trust. To find out more about their journey to protect Somerset's wild spaces, visit their website at www.somersetwildlife.org. And, as always, our superstar sponsor, Blue Panda Clothing is sponsoring this episode today. Shop with code: ALICE10 to receive 10% off of your Blue Panda purchase when you go to their online store! Get the Christmas presents done for your animal-loving pals with the help of Asshole Animals and Blue Panda using code: ALICE10! Visit their site at: www.bluepanda.co.uk for some sustainably chic designs! What are you waiting? RUN!

Quick question: how much do you know about Slug penises? Not very much? Well, that's SUPER embarrassing for you...Thankfully, Yussef Rafik (children's TV presenter/zoologist/slug enthusiast) is here to tell you all you need to know about Slugs (genitalia and otherwise). The human experience with Slugs can probably be best described as one of "disgust", right? No one is happy to see a Slug - not on their plants, under their shoe as they step out into the garden, and certainly not in their HOMES. But Slugs are actually incredible creatures and are super important for our survival, so tune in to hear Alice and Yussef talking about why we need them, where the word "sluggish" comes from, and also why you should NEVER EVER eat a slug, not even on a dare from your friends. Our charity of the week this week is the incredible Bug Life - a charity Alice has actually mentioned on the show but their work is so vital, it bears repeating. Looking after the little things that run the world, go on to their website to learn more about how to help bugs and also what awesome species we have here in the UK, at www.buglife.org.uk. This episode of Asshole Animals with Alice is sponsored by the fabulously and delightfully whimsical Button and Squirt - who are helping you and your little ones learn about the natural world in the most fun way possible! To dive in to the world of wildlife and pick up a fun present for an animal-lover you know, head over to their website, at: www.buttonandsquirt.co.uk.

Are you a certified bird nerd? Does birding in the great outdoors, come rain or shine, tickle your fancy? Are you looking to meet other bird people, while hearing about the incredible things people out there are doing to protect and preserve our winged friends? Then Global Birdfair is the place for you! It is bird lover's Mecca. It is the congregation of those who love to see nature thriving. There is so much love and knowledge in the room, that you are GUARANTEED to come away with new friends, stories, and even some awesome bird merchandise... As Alice attends Global Birdfair 2024, hear her discuss with the Hawk Conservancy Trust's own Tom Morath - bird of prey expert and host of "Nature's a Hoot" podcast, about a very large asshole-animal-of-the-week... What animal could it be? And what have they done to earn this mantle? Only one way to find out! You know what to do...

We, as humans, DO love to use animal names as insults, don't we? You might call your cheating ex boyfriend a "dog", you might call someone going to the police a "rat". Hell, you may even go as far as to call people who support Trump "sheep". It's called speciesism - look it up. Among those brutish insult-names, is the humble Snake, which is what you might call someone treacherous or sneaky. Snakes have had a bad rap since...well, the Bible, I guess. Tempting Eve and all that. But elsewhere in the world, other cultures gave them more respect, and viewed them as signs of fertility, rebirth and even healing. Look at any good hospital for the rod of Asclepius (the god of healing), which is encircled by a snake. WE NEED SNAKES! Here to defend the Snake like a knight in shining armour, is Dan Rumsey - snake expert and relocator, who has been obsessed with them his entire life. Join Alice and Dan as they discuss gliding snakes, snail-eating snakes, and being tired of these "motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane". Our charity of the week this week is the fabulous Aussie Ark - an incredible wildlife rehabilitation and habitat restoration organisation that are championing the unique species of Australia by helping them get back on their feet (spoiler alert: the Europeans didn't help...). Find out more about their mission at: www.aussieark.org.au. And, you guessed it, our incredible sponsor of the show is none other than Blue Panda Clothing - the stylish and sustainable option this summer for all of your animal-clothes needs. Great presents for your animal-obsessed friend or a great treat for you (you deserve it!) - shop ethically online at www.bluepanda.co.uk!

The term "Bear" can evoke a number of feelings depending on the context. If you're an avid hiker, hearing the word "bear" may induce a sense of sheer terror. When coupled with the word "hug", the term "bear" might be a source of comfort, especially when you need an extra-strong source of affection. If you love burly, hairy men, then "bear" may elicit some arousal, who knows? In the context of this show, "Bear" should invoke feelings of joy and wonder, as we dive into the behaviour of specifically Brown Bears - the poster child of the Ursidae family and the most adaptable and versatile member of the 8 bear species! With Alice this week to talk Brown Bears is Bear biologist and host of the smash-hit podcast "Tooth and Claw": Wes Larson, who gives us a rundown of Bear behaviours, tells us 3 simple ways to protect yourself from a Bear attack in the woods, and also explains what a Bear Claw is. Our Charity of the Week this week is The Grizzly Bear Foundation - who work tirelessly to keep Grizzly Bears in North American forests. Check out their incredible work at: www.grizzlybearfoundation.com This episode is sponsored by Nature Spy - your go-to centre for wildlife-watching tech! They're offering 10% all trail cameras with a code only found in the episode! Listen in and head on over to www.naturespy.org! This episode is also sponsored by Blue Panda Clothing - your one-stop shop for sustainable and chic clothing! Check out their GORGEOUS bear-related merchandise at https://bluepanda.co.uk/collections/bear

We all know there are cat people and dog people, it's a fact of life. But just for the sake of this episode, we'll be asking all the cat people out there to take off their cat hats and consider loving instead the humble African Wild Dog. The most cat-like dog species in the world, due to the fact they are obligate carnivores, are revered in Ancient Egypt and have no time for human bullshit. Talking about our first ever canine species on the show is the mega badass Lindsay Nikole, who tells the audience how Wild Dogs are REALLY perceived in Africa. Join her and Alice to find out more about Wild Dog territory size, how many teeth they have, and about the Sicilian Mafia - obviously... Our Charity of the Week this week is Painted Dog Conservation - Zimbabwe's answer to the Wild Dog population crisis. Check them out and lend them your support today at: www.painteddog.org. This podcast episode is also sponsored by the fabulous Blue Panda Clothing - where you ought to be shopping for your summertime clothing! Find their ethical fashion at www.bluepanda.co.uk and feel good about splurging on some wildlife-related garments today!

What do you see when you look at a Pigeon? A "dumb bird" wandering aimlessly through life? A feathered rat delving through our garbage? A government surveillance drone hell-bent on documenting your secrets? Whether you think these things or not, Pigeons are here to stay. And they COULD just be the most stable and reliable presence in your life right now, so why not learn more about them? Joining Alice this week is the ethereal Kendall Long - guardian of the Pigeons and true nature nerd. Together, Alice and Kendall work hard to change your mind on the humble feral Pigeon, giving an "Asshole Assessment" score that you wouldn't believe! Tune in and keep your minds open about these little urban heroes. Our Charity of the Week this week is the Mauritian Wildlife Foundation - who are working to repopulate the critically endangered Pink Pigeon! You can find them at www.mauritian-wildlife.org. This podcast episode is sponsored by the effin' hilarious "Effin Birds" - the merchandise for fowl-mouthed bird lovers everywhere. Have a look at their hysterical mugs, T-shirts and even playing cards at www.effinbirds.com - and grab something that shows the world that you don't give a flock!

It's the year 2123. With ongoing wars, a devastating climate catastrophe, and the inevitable uprising of artificial intelligence, the Human race is fractured. Only the Crows remain... Why have Crows succeeded where other species have fallen? They've been watching us the whole time...gathering information, scavenging, communicating above our very heads. For years, we ignored them. Shooed them away. Shot and poisoned them. Little did we know that they would have the last laugh, as humanity plunges into despair. Okay, so we can't see into the future. But this is Science's best guess at what will happen! And explaining why WE should be watching the Crows instead of the other way around is the fabulous Dr Kaeli Swift - an Ethologist specialising in Corvid behaviour. With Kaeli's help in this episode, we find out why Crows are "couple goals" and break down some classic Crow behaviours to explain what the heck is going on when they pull at dogs' tails. Our Charity of the Week this week is the phenomenal "Alala Project" - protecting Hawaii's only native species of Crow! Find them on Facebook or Instagram under "Alala Project" for more information! And this podcast is sponsored by the stylishly ethical Blue Panda Clothing - where buying clothes helps to save animals! Check out their incredible winter gear at www.bluepanda.co.uk and help some incredible conservation charities across the world today! <3