Becoming Both

In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m talking about resentment in motherhood.As a mum of two under five, this is something I know really well. I start by sharing a little life update about hosting my first ever mothers’ retreat (still can’t believe that’s happening), and then we get into the real stuff.Because resentment can show up even when you have a supportive, involved partner.Sometimes it's amazing to think we aren't MORE resentful of motherhood, right? The mental load, sleep deprivation, the lack of village, the identity shift.. feeling constantly needed but not always seen and that can fester if we don't find ways to move through it.I chit chat about how resentment can show up as snapping, irritability, pulling away, burnout, or those quiet thoughts of wanting to escape for a bit. And honestly, it doesn’t just get directed at our partners.. sometimes it’s towards our kids, other mums, work, or the expectations that come with being a mother.The biggest thing I wanted to share is that resentment is information.It usually points to an unmet need.So we talk about naming it without shame, getting curious about what’s underneath it, communicating it clearly (and kindly), and what to do if you feel dismissed when you try to speak up.Because when resentment sits there unresolved, it slowly impacts connection!! Especially and including intimacy.This one is honest and I hope you love it!Come find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth - I would love to chat.A 5 star review would mean the world xx

In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m joined by Erin, a registered psychologist and mum to a 15 month old, for a raw, honest chat about the real side of motherhood. The 2am wake ups, the daycare guilt, the identity shift, the comparison spiral and that constant feeling of not doing enough.From a psychologist’s lens, Erin unpacks the difference between baby blues, postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression, what intrusive thoughts actually are, and when it’s time to reach out for support. We talk therapy options, practical grounding tools, and how hard access and affordability can be for mums.Erin also shares her deeply personal experience of two pregnancy losses while still parenting, and what it looks like to grieve while showing up every day.This one is warm, heavy, validating and real. If you’ve ever thought “is this normal?” this episode is for you. You are not crazy, you are not failing, and you are definitely not alone.If this episode resonated with you, I would be so grateful if you could take a minute to leave a 5 star review. It honestly helps the podcast reach more mums who need to hear these conversations and it means the world to me.You can find me over on Instagram at @doulamarley where I share more real life chats about motherhood, birth and relationships, or you can email me anytime at marley@motheringthemama.com.au. I genuinely love hearing your thoughts, feedback and stories.If this episode brought up anything for you around maternal mental health, please don’t sit with it alone. In Australia you can speak to your GP for a Mental Health Care Plan and access subsidised sessions with a psychologist. You can also contact PANDA on 1300 726 306 for perinatal anxiety and depression support, or Lifeline on 13 11 14 if you need immediate crisis support. If you are in danger or at risk, call 000.Reaching out is a sign of strength, not failure. You deserve support just as much as anyone else.

Hey friends, welcome back to Becoming Both ✨This episode is a classic “life lately” brain dump where motherhood meets being a human with thoughts, feelings, and zero chill some days. I’m sharing updates from nannying life, how we’re trying (keyword: trying) to be better with family budgeting, and what it’s like parenting kids with very different needs under one roof.I also chat about my ADHD diagnosis and the very glamorous journey of medication side effects (spoiler: not glamorous at all). We talk body image after pregnancy, the weird relationship you have with your body once it’s grown humans, and the honest reality of keeping intimacy alive when your calendar is full and your energy is not. This ep has a lot about sex tbh.Towards the end, I answer your questions on things like timing a second baby, navigating in-laws without losing your mind, and all those “am I doing this right?” thoughts we all have. I also share some practical tips for anyone curious about starting their own doula business and what I’ve learned the hard way.We finish up with a little reminder to take care of yourself, soak up the small moments, and give yourself credit for what you’re doing even on the CRAZY days.This episode is perfect listening for the car, the couch, or hiding from your kids for five minutes ✌️Find me over at insta @doulamarley @becomingboth where I discuss all things motherhood, birth, pregnancy, life and relationships.Giving me a 5 star review really helps this channel and I am so appreciative of it!

n this episode, I’m joined by Tess for a conversation that sits very close to my heart: what it’s like to mother without a mother.I was so grateful to finally have Tess on the podcast to talk openly about her estranged relationship with her mum and how that has shaped her own journey into motherhood. Tess shares honestly about the complexity of being completely estranged from her mother for over 12 years, and how becoming a mum herself brought up old wounds, unanswered questions, and grief she didn’t even realise she was carrying.We talk about the emotional layers of mothering without that maternal support so many people rely on. The guilt, the expectations, the longing, and the quiet sadness that can show up around moments like pregnancy, postpartum, illness, and milestones where you suddenly realise there’s no one to call. Tess reflects on how having her daughter, Marni, shifted her perspective on her own childhood and deepened her commitment to breaking generational cycles.We also get into the very real, practical side of things. How not having a mum impacts the logistics of daily life, and why building a support system becomes so important. Tess shares why she chose to hire a doula to help fill some of that gap and how powerful it was to feel supported during such a vulnerable time.We touch on the emotional heaviness of days like Mother’s Day and other family-focused milestones, and how complicated they can feel when your experience of “mother” doesn’t fit the narrative. Throughout the conversation, we come back to the hope and healing that can exist in creating loving, secure relationships with our own children.This episode is honest, tender, and deeply validating. If you’re navigating motherhood without a mother, whether through estrangement, loss, or complicated family dynamics, this conversation is for you. You are not alone and it's bloody hard. For those who might not be able to relate, I hope this gives you an insight into the hardship of trying to mother without a blue print.I would love to connect! Come find me over at @doulamarley @becomingbothTo support the pod, it would mean the world to me if you left a 5 star review xx

This episode is a real, open reflection on what 2025 looked like for us and what we’re intentionally carrying (and leaving behind) as we head into 2026.We talk about life lately from soaking up the beauty of the Adelaide Hills to carving out a simple date day and remembering that we’re partners, not just parents. We also get into money, budgeting, and how uncomfortable that topic still feels for me. I share honestly about how my childhood experiences around money make it hard to talk about now, and how avoiding those conversations can create tension if you don’t face them together. It’s messy, vulnerable, and very real.We dive into how challenging it is to maintain a relationship and personal goals while raising young kids, and I open up about the bittersweet feeling of saying goodbye to the season of small children. There’s grief there, for the babies, the cuddles, the version of me that lived in survival mode, but also a quiet hope and excitement about stepping out of the trenches and into the next chapter with a little more space to breathe.We talk about the importance of sitting down with your partner and actually reflecting on what you both want and don’t want moving forward. Having the uncomfortable conversations before resentment builds. Saying the things out loud instead of letting them fester in the background. This season demands honesty, even when it’s hard.I also share more about my work as a nanny, my long-term dream of becoming a counsellor, and how much clarity has come from reflecting on the year that was. We chat about the women’s retreat I’ve been planning, why it feels so aligned right now, and how deeply it’s rooted in the need for rest, connection, and support for mums.This episode really captures the ups and downs of life, business, relationships, and motherhood. It’s about listening to your inner voice, setting achievable goals that actually fit this season, and acknowledging what you’ve survived and grown through even if it doesn’t look big on the outside.We finish by sharing more about the upcoming women’s retreat and why investing in yourself, your wellbeing, and community isn’t indulgent, it’s essential.If you’re feeling reflective, stretched, emotional about closing one chapter and cautiously hopeful about the next, this one’s for you 🤍

In this episode, I’m talking about the struggles of relationship distance that sneaks in after kids. Often it's actually not because you don’t love each other, but because you’re exhausted af, touched out, constantly interrupted, and carrying way more than you ever expected to. The distance that over time, feels super tense and that it's a long way back.I share some tips on how to start honest conversations when there’s obvious disconnect, even when it feels uncomfortable, emotional, or long overdue. We talk about the real pressures that come with parenting and partnership. In-laws causing friction (especially if you're partner is leaving you out to dry), the financial reality of feeling stuck in this economy, and how resentment will fester if it’s left to rot in silence.I also get into intimacy. When it’s been a long time between touch, closeness, or feeling desired, and how to rebuild connection without forcing it or pretending everything’s fine. Especially when kids leave you zero space to even finish a sentence, let alone have a deep conversation but also how important it is to understand that most intimacy for women starts outside of the bedroom.I’m not an expert. I’m not here to fix your relationship. I’m just someone willing to say the quiet parts out loud and create space for the conversations so many of us are having behind closed doors or asking for advice on Facebook forums.If what you’re experiencing is abuse, this episode isn’t the support you need and you deserve help. If you’re in Australia, you can contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for confidential support, or speak with your GP or a trusted professional.Come find me on Instagram at @doulamarley and @becomingboth. I truly love hearing your thoughts, messages, and feedback, and your reviews mean more than you know 🤍

In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m getting deeeeep into all the identity shifts that come with motherhood - the physical, the emotional, the mental and spirtual.I chat through my own experiences of becoming a mum of two and how it’s changed literally every part of my life. My priorities are different, my relationships feel different, and even the way I see myself has completely shifted. Between pregnancy, birth, postpartum, sleep deprivation, and just having a bazillion things to do.. it’s so blooming easy to lose pieces of yourself without even noticing.I chat all the emotional and physical changes, the hormones, the mum guilt, the body image moments, the questioning, the second-guessing, the EVERYTHING. And then there’s the career side of things… the hobbies we used to have before children took over our entire identities. I still cannot remember what mine were. I know I had them though lol.And because these identity shifts don’t just happen on the inside, I chat about how your role within your family changes too. Suddenly you’re the planner, the emotional support person, the snack organiser, the routine keeper, the everything-holder. It’s a lot to carry, and sometimes we don’t get enough space to acknowledge it.I share some journal prompts to help you reflect on your own experience because I know how much it helps for me and sometimes writing it down is the only way to make sense of all the feelings. These prompts are meant to help you reconnect with yourself, honour the version of you before kids, and appreciate the version of you nowAnd honestly, I just want you to know how grateful I am that you’re here, listening, and sharing this space with me. This little community means so much to me, all the DMs, all the shared stories, all the “me too” moments. I love it all!If you want to chat more or share what resonated with you from this episode, come find me on Instagram at @doulamarley and @becomingboth. I genuinely love hearing from you.