Struggle To Relax During Sex?

Struggle To Relax During Sex?

From Better Loving, by Laura Ellen by Become a better lover – within, and with others.

March 10, 2026 · 24 min

About this episode

This episode explores the challenges of relaxing during sex and the factors that influence arousal and intimacy.

Links & Resources: Work with Laura: https://laura-ellen.com/contact About Laura: https://laura-ellen.com/about Subscribe to Substack: https://substack.com/@bylauraellen ? Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7CQmZy8qRGBKGAaUcBCRXw Episode Summary: Switching off at the end of a full day and moving into intimacy can feel harder than we admit. In this episode, I explore why sex is not inherently relaxing and how nervous system state, relationship context, and the pace of modern life all shape our capacity for arousal. We unpack the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, and how cultural messaging can quietly create pressure on bodies to respond in ways that are not authentic. I speak to the moments of contraction, resistance, or bracing that arise when initiation lands at the wrong time, and how meeting those moments honestly can build deeper confidence and connection. This conversation supports you to honour your arousal system, communicate from integrity, and allow pleasure to arrive at a pace that feels true to your body. Key Topics Covered: Why sex is not automatically…

People in this episode

Hosts: Laura Ellen, Laura

Topics covered

  • intimacy
  • nervous system
  • arousal
  • desire
  • cultural messaging
  • communication
  • pleasure

Keywords

  • sex
  • relaxation
  • responsive desire
  • spontaneous desire
  • confidence
  • connection

Mentioned in this episode

Places: New Zealand

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