
About this episode
Jessa Zimmerman interviews Monica Tanner about her book 'Bad Marriage Advice' and discusses relationship dynamics and communication in marriage.
On Better Sex, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews relationship coach Monica Tanner about her book Bad Marriage Advice, written initially for her son before his marriage. Tanner shares how her parents’ divorce and her own early marital struggles led her to study relationships and train in Relational Life Therapy and sex-related coaching. They discuss common couple dynamics (pursuer–distancer, fighting, withdrawal), how unskillful communication erodes trust and leads to resentment and “roommate syndrome,” and why thriving marriages require learned relational skills rather than fairy-tale expectations. They address sex myths, the need to discover and communicate desires, and the idea that emotional connection and sexual connection are related but distinct systems requiring intentional work. Tanner critiques clichés like “compromise,” “happy wife, happy life,” “don’t go to bed angry,” and “don’t sweat the small stuff,” and suggests practices like regular “sex talk Tuesday.”00:00 Show Intro00:45 Meet Monica Tanner01:33 Why Relationships Matter04:28 Common Couple Dynamics06:40 Romance Myths And Control08:42 How Sex Gets Impacted10:23 Love Versus Desire12:44 Jess Quick…
People in this episode
Host: Jessa Zimmerman
Guest: Monica Tanner
Topics covered
- relationship dynamics
- communication skills
- marriage advice
- emotional connection
- sexual connection
Keywords
- marriage advice
- relationship skills
- communication
- trust
- sex myths
Mentioned in this episode
Books & works: Bad Marriage Advice
More episodes of Better Sex
- The Plight of the Higher Desire Partner · April 30, 2026 · 8 min
- The 5 Love Languages: in the bedroom · April 27, 2026 · 25 min
- [Soapbox] Choose to Focus on the Anti-Fear · April 23, 2026 · 8 min
- 383: Yoni Mapping with Freya Graf · April 20, 2026 · 40 min
- 382: [Soapbox] Activities for connection · April 16, 2026 · 9 min
- 381: The Sure Thing - A strategy to prioritize intimacy with Elana Auerbach · April 13, 2026 · 30 min
Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Better Sex podcast page.