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Why Avoidant People Sabotage Their Best Relationships [Ep 118]
From Better Than Perfect | A Relationship Podcast by Nicole and John Sonmez
February 27, 2026 · 1h 6m · Episode 118
About this episode
The episode explores how avoidant individuals sabotage their relationships and offers insights on breaking these patterns.
Why Avoidant People Sabotage Their Best Relationships Echo opens up about her avoidant attachment style and how she'd convince herself relationships were doomed at the first sign of conflict. John shares how he helped her break these self-destructive patterns by creating a safe space for real communication. This episode dives deep into avoidant attachment - the tendency to shut down, run away, or sabotage relationships when things get too intimate. Learn why "I lost myself" and "they'd be better off without me" are red flags, how childhood shapes these patterns, and most importantly, how to break free from the cycle of pushing away the people you actually want close. In This Episode Avoidant people self-sabotage by looking for proof their partner will disappoint them The perfectionism trap: expecting yourself and your partner to never make mistakes Why avoidants struggle with trust - they don't communicate, then resent their partner for not mind-reading "Independence" is often just avoidance in disguise You can't solve relationship problems alone in your head Creating safety means being non-reactive when your partner opens up Speaking your truth (even when it's scary) builds real…
People in this episode
Hosts: Nicole Sonmez, John Sonmez
Guest: Echo
Topics covered
- avoidant attachment
- self-sabotage
- communication
- trust issues
- relationship dynamics
- childhood influences
Keywords
- avoidant attachment
- self-sabotage
- relationship conflict
- communication
- trust
- childhood patterns
- intimacy
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