Beyond Survival - The Therapy Podcast with Katie McKenna

Adult children of narcissists parents often struggle to name what happened to them. In this episode, I’m joined again by Dr. Rachna Buxani, and we’re exploring the different faces of narcissism — and why it can be so hard to recognise. While many people can spot the grandiose narcissist — the constant need to be the centre of attention, the arrogance, the lack of empathy — it’s the other, quieter forms of narcissism, that often go unnoticed and can be most confusing. In this episode we ...

When you’re raised by a narcissistic parent, the harm doesn’t come labelled as abuse. It comes wrapped in concern, protection, closeness, and sacrifice. “This is for your own good.” “I’m only saying this because I love you.” Over time, these messages don’t just justify the behaviour — they shape how you understand yourself. In this episode, I unpack one of the most confusing and painful questions for adult children: How did I not know it was abuse? The reason you didn’t see ...

Anyone listening to an abusive parent in action can easily interpret the other parent’s silence as safety. Because they don’t join in, they can appear to be “the good parent” — the one who feels more trustworthy, more stable, more protective. But silence in these dynamics is rarely neutral. In this episode, I explore the often-overlooked role of the passive or non-abusive parent — and how their inaction, minimisation, or inability to protect can shape a child’s experience just as deeply. I di...

When raised in a narcissistic system, sibling bonds can become both a lifeline and a source of deep emotional strain. In todays letter, we discuss the often unspoken dynamic of sibling abuse, trauma bonding, family roles, addiction, and the emotional toll of being the cycle breaker. Ruth and I explore what happens when one sibling begins the healing journey — setting boundaries, going no contact, and breaking generational cycles — while others remain caught in addiction, mental he...

Did I do the right thing? Am I being unreasonable? This week we hear from a listener who grew up with a controlling father who monitored finances, belittled her mother, mocked her intelligence, and ruled the house with, “If you live under my roof, you do as I say.” She became the responsible daughter. The fixer. The emotional support system. The one who stayed close. After decades of being pulled into her parents’ toxic marriage, she set a boundary: Don’t involve me in your disputes any...

If you grew up with a parent who rewrote history, denied conversations that clearly happened and turned every attempt at repair into an explosion… this episode is for you. In this episode of Beyond Survival – The Therapy Podcast, I read a listener’s story about going low contact, then no contact, after years of gaslighting, DARVO, and emotional manipulation. We explore the role of the enabling parent (deflection, minimising, suggests you’re “misremembering” or "mentally unwell") and the...

In this episode, we hear from a 44-year-old listener whose role as “the strong one” began far too early. Raised in the 80s as the eldest of four children to unmarried parents, she grew up learning to stay quiet, stay alert, and stay responsible. With a hard-working, emotionally absent, father and a mother she had to tiptoe around, she was placed into the role of parent long before she had the chance to be a child. Labelled, blamed, and isolated from friends, she became the family scapegoat — ...

In this episode we hear from a listener who has navigated years of emotional turmoil within her blended family. After a life-threatening childbirth, she faced ongoing manipulation, smear campaigns, and boundary violations from her mother-in-law, who sided with her husband’s ex and sought to control their family. This powerful story explores the exhaustion of protecting your marriage and family while maintaining your own sense of self, and the ongoing challenge of living your truth in th...

Perfectionism can look like competence, control, or high standards, but what often hides underneath is a survival strategy. In this conversation, I’m joined by, Podcast Host & Mindset Coach, Claire Fealy to explore how perfectionism hides in plain sight - in our work, relationships, bodies, and inner worlds. We talk about how perfectionism develops as protection, how it keeps us stuck in self-monitoring and self-pressure, and why it can feel so hard to let go of. Together, we explor...

In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Natalie Fabert to explore a question I often return to: What if a narcissistic family system operates like a cult? When we hear the word cult, it can conjure images of something extreme, distant, or dramatic, something that happens to other people. But what if a cult simply describes a system. A system where one person’s reality becomes the only acceptable reality. Where it’s “my way or the highway.” Where you’re trained to question yourself, but never the p...

This week, I'm unpacking one of the most common yet misunderstood experiences for adult children of narcissistic abuse: Narcissistic Parentification. I’ll walk through the different roles the children are cast into; Scapegoat Child, Golden Child, Enmeshed / Gilded Child, The Invisible Child, and how these roles profoundly shape your relationships, boundaries, identity, and sense of self today. By understanding the dynamics behind the role you were assigned, you can finally challenge the...

In this solo episode, I’m diving into the topic of parentification — what it looks like, how to recognise it, and why naming your experience is the essential first step toward healing. Before we can deconstruct and dismantle the roles and patterns we grew up with, we need the language to understand what truly happened to us. I’ll be sharing real, relatable examples to help you spot the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of parentification in your own family system and explore how these dynamics m...

“I started this work at the age of 19. I was a child abuse advocate, a sexual abuse advocate, a domestic violence advocate, a therapist — and yet, I didn’t know it was happening to me.” Dr. Christine Cocchiola is a leading expert on the experience of adult and child victims of coercive control. But even with all her knowledge and training, she found herself living inside the very dynamic she’d dedicated her life to understanding and preventing. In this powerful and deeply personal conversatio...