Anxious? Avoidant? How to Build More Secure Relationships

About this episode

Psychiatrist Amir Levine discusses how attachment styles can change and the science behind building secure relationships.

What if the way you relate to others isn’t fixed—but fundamentally changeable? In this episode, we speak with psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine, who is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center. He's the author of the best-selling book Attached, which examined how people’s attachment styles—from secure to anxious to avoidant. In his new book, Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life, Levine argues that attachment styles aren’t lifelong labels but actually patterns the brain can relearn. He explores the emerging science of “earned security”—how relationships reshape our neural wiring, why some people feel safe under pressure while others spiral, and what it takes to move from insecurity to stability.

People in this episode

Guest: Amir Levine

Topics covered

• attachment styles
• relationships
• neuroscience
• mental health
• earned security

Keywords

• attachment styles
• secure relationships
• neuroscience
• mental health
• earned security

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Columbia University Medical Center

Books & works: Attached, Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life

More episodes of Big Brains

• How Websites Trick You Using ‘Dark Patterns’ · June 11, 2026 · 37 min
• Quantum Technology, Explained: A Big Brains Live Event · May 28, 2026 · 40 min
• Our Untapped Superpower: Connecting With Others, with Nicholas Epley · May 14, 2026 · 39 min
• Why the Fed Matters Now More Than Ever, with Douglas Diamond · April 30, 2026 · 37 min
• Could AI Models Forecast Extreme Weather Events? with Pedram Hassanzadeh · April 2, 2026 · 35 min
• Are Judges Too Powerful? The Rise of Universal Injunctions, with Samuel Bray · March 19, 2026 · 40 min