How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Hanif Kureishi is one of Britain’s most celebrated writers. His debut screenplay, My Beautiful Laundrette, was nominated for an Academy Award, and he went on to write novels including The Buddha of Suburbia and Intimacy, as well as screenplays for Venus and The Mother. But in 2022, Kureishi’s life changed irrevocably. A fall in his partner’s apartment left him paralysed and unable to use his hands. His extraordinary journey through the aftermath and rehabilitation became the subject of his 2024 memoir, Shattered. Now, in Are You With Me Now?, a collection of essays written with his son Carlo, he explores what it means to survive when the life you knew has fallen apart. In this episode, Hanif talks about the accident itself, subsequent years, his changing relationship with writing and his body… and why Elton John came to his wedding! IN THIS EPISODE 00:00 Introduction 03:53 Accident to Viral Blogs 06:49 Work, Disability, Identity 07:31 Conflict as Intimacy 12:27 Failures at School 19:32 Loss, Suicide, Wedding Twist 24:27 Quitting Directing 24:46 Writing The Buddha Of Suburbia 26:17 Comedy From Pain 27:02 Oscar Nominee Whirlwind 29:19 Why Directing Failed 31:56 Success And Jealousy 34:34 Body Failing Bomb 42:28 Love Dependence 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: I was writing to keep myself alive as a person. I think boredom is really important. If someone becomes glamorous and successful, it f***s with your head. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Hanif’s book Are You With Me Now? is out on 5th November: www.penguin.co.uk/books/481825/are-you-with-me-now-by-kureishi-hanif-kureishi-with-carlo/9780241831595 Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Salman Rushdie - swap.fm/l/3qh3lMa8mCxLSv8AL7ys 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Hanif answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bella Mackie began her career as a journalist, writing for publications including the Guardian, Vice and Vogue, before writing her bestselling debut, Jog On. The book explored how running helped her rebuild her life after the end of her first marriage triggered debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. She followed it with How To Kill Your Family, a darkly comic novel about a young woman methodically murdering her wealthy relatives. It spent 47 weeks on the Sunday Times bestseller list and is now being adapted for Netflix, starring Anya Taylor-Joy. Two more novels followed, including her latest, Claws Out - another bestseller, this time taking aim at the absurdities of North London’s liberal elite. It’s a world Mackie knows well. She grew up in North London, the daughter of journalist and campaigner Lindsay Mackie and former Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger, and still lives there today with her husband, Radio 1 DJ Greg James. In this episode we cover her OCD, how she feels she hasn’t ‘fixed’ her mental health - and perhaps never will, her ‘failure’ to leave home and what it’s like to be married to someone painfully level-headed.  This bonus episode is brought to you by @arlalactoFREE - all the taste, easier to digest. IN THIS EPISODE 00:00 Intro 02:51 True Crime Origins 04:11 Rewriting Crime Tropes 07:17 Funny Draft Fail 10:37 Success Fuels Anxiety 14:57 Living With OCD 22:02 Childfree Choice Backlash 30:41 Cozy Season Sponsor Break 31:35 Failure to Launch Confession 32:15 Living Near Mum and Dad 33:48 Therapy Rejection and Detachment 34:43 Anxiety and Codependency Roots 37:31 Privilege Nepotism and Validation 39:26 Tony Blair as the Adult 44:01 Driving Cycling and Creative Life 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: Anyone else’s mental health is an island you can’t get to.  OCD is like Pokemon, you can catch them all.  Greg [my husband] lies down on me when I have an intrusive thought and does a chicken dance on me to make me laugh.  🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Bella’s novel, Claws Out, is available to buy now: harpercollins.co.uk/products/claws-out-bella-mackie?variant=56397858537851  Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Dolly Alderton - swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR  Caitlin Moran - swap.fm/l/CaitlinMoran  💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR  Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com   Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan   Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Luke Evans and Sarah Solemani join Elizabeth to talk about the journey of Elizabeth’s 2017 novel The Party to its new five-part ITV adaptation.  Luke stars as the show’s protagonist, Martin Gilmour, and Sarah stars as his wife, Lucy… oh and she also brilliantly adapted the novel for screen.  The trio discuss the making of this exciting new drama for TV, how Luke discovered the book and kick-started the process and what the show is about. They discuss themes including: sexuality, the class system in the UK, shame, women leading production, culture on sets in today’s world and friendship.  This bonus episode is brought to you by @arlalactoFREE - all the taste, easier to digest. IN THIS EPISODE 00:00 Introduction 01:42 Luke Discovers the Novel 02:51 Finding the Screenwriter 04:45 Adapting Into Five Episodes 07:13 What The Party Is About 09:44 Casting Lucy and Onscreen Marriage 13:04 Collaboration and Set Rewrites 18:09 Women Leading the Production 19:35 Set Culture and Final Day Speech 21:15 Author Visits Set and Craft Details 22:26 Friendship, Desire and Identity 25:08 Class, Shame and Final Takeaways WANT MORE? Luke Evans - swap.fm/l/2AAJhVeDNGdKIJGdznR9   LINKS + MENTIONS: The Party starts Sunday 11th October 9pm on ITV1 and ITVX. The series airs for three consecutive nights: Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, concluding with the fourth and final episode the following Sunday 18th and Monday 19th. Or you can binge all five episodes on ITVX.  Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR  Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com   Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan   Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.   Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] LOVE THIS EPISODE? Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Russell T Davies has spent decades creating some of Britain’s most beloved and groundbreaking television. After studying English at Oxford, he went from writing for children’s programmes and Coronation Street to creating Queer As Folk in 1999 - a show that changed the conversation around gay representation on TV. Since then, he’s written hit after hit, from Bob & Rose and A Very English Scandal to Years and Years, It’s A Sin and his hugely successful revival of Doctor Who. He’s won four BAFTAs and was awarded an OBE in 2008. In this episode we talk about where his obsession and passion for TV came from, how his exceptionally busy mind works, losing his husband to a brain tumour, his love of Dr Who and…finding love again. His new memoir, The Queerest of Folk, is out on 8th October. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 02:35 TV Obsession Origins 03:24 Memoir and Andrew 08:35 AIDS and Its a Sin 10:36 Queer as Folk Shockwaves 12:37 Failure to Drive 16:45 Writing in Images 28:05 Early Illustration Gigs 28:54 Obsessed With Drawing 30:20 Losing the Habit 31:52 Comics and Story Beats 33:54 Writing Geniuses Doctor Who 37:13 Staying a Fan 41:41 Legacy and Family Roots 49:59 Aging Love and Goodbye 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: When I dream I invent people who don’t exist. I’ve saved for decades, I saved for a rainy day, and then one day it rained. Please never get rid of the Tardis. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Russell’s memoir, The Queerest Of Folk is available to buy now: uk.bookshop.org/p/books/the-queerest-of-folk-a-life-in-television-russell-t-davies/a290496f474a1f8c Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Phoebe Waller-Bridge - swap.fm/l/gTCOCJUmXX9t22mTABSa Bernardine Evaristo - swap.fm/l/EH5cvO3uPdNCQN9tYyiJ 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Russell answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode contains references to and descriptions of eating disorders. Louise O’Neill is a bestselling, award-winning Irish author whose fearless writing has helped shape modern feminism. Her fiction is taught on the Irish curriculum and Paul Mescal starred in a critically acclaimed stage adaptation of her work. Her second novel, Asking For It, catapulted her into the public eye in 2015. Now, with her eighth book, A Bigger Life, O’Neill turns that same unflinching gaze on herself. Her memoir follows the extraordinary dating experiment she embarked on in her late 30s after the end of a long-term relationship: dating a different man every night, across three cities - Paris, London and New York. What began as a challenge, inspired by something her father said, became an unexpected journey of self-discovery. In this episode we discuss topics covered in her memoir, A Bigger Life, including: finding hope after heartbreak, pressure on women, extraordinary dating experiences and recovering from a debilitating two-decade-long eating disorder. A Bigger Life is out this month. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:24 Writing Her First Memoir 04:58 Roots in West Cork 08:21 Dating for a Bigger Life 09:26 Choosing Hope After Heartbreak 13:22 Marriage Expectations and Milestones 16:57 Beauty Pressure and Aging Fears 27:12 Fear of Vulnerability 28:48 Aging and Shame 30:34 Trusting Your Instincts 33:35 The Millionaire Date 36:40 Recovery After 17 Years 42:57 Rewiring the Mind 48:35 Good Girl Burnout 52:07 Redefining Success 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: I didn’t want the break-up to define me. Life falls apart around us, and then we have to rebuild. The trick is to keep your heart soft. If I’m setting the narrative, I want it to be hopeful . I had to rewire my brain - I had to become an entirely new person. Then it became second nature. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Louise O’Neill’s memoir A Bigger Life is out now: https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/a-bigger-life-louise-oneill?variant=55970156118395 Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Dolly Alderton - swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR Caitlin Moran - swap.fm/l/CaitlinMoran 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Louise answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices