Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

Dr. Brenda Fann Katula knew how to recognize alcohol addiction in an exam room. But when alcoholism took over her own home, the family physician who understood the diagnosis could not figure out how to make her husband choose sobriety—or explain to her nine-year-old son why Daddy wouldn't stop drinking. The warning signs had been there from the beginning, like the handle of rum she expected to last for weeks disappearing in a weekend. Over time, his drinking escalated to a handle a day, a blood-alcohol level of 0.4 (enough to kill some people), severe withdrawal, hidden bottles, hospital stays, confused in a cornfield, and eventually death. In Part 1 of this incredible two-part interview, Brenda explains the turning points that forced her to confront the truth, the safety plans she created for her children, and what she wishes she had done differently. She also explain one of the hardest, but most important, realizations the loved one of an addict / alcoholic can make: “I can’t work harder at his sobriety than he is." Her husband had lost his parents and older sister in a car accident when he was ten and carried unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Now, Brenda is doing what she can to make sure the cycle of hurt, pain, and addiction doesn't claim another victim—whether that's the addict, or those he or she leaves behind. We also talk about boundaries, enabling, church support, and what loved ones can do when they want recovery more than the person struggling does. It's an important episode for anyone who loves someone who struggles with an addiction and is asking, "What do I do when my friend, loved one, sibling, or spouse won't stop drinking?" Follow Brenda on Instagram: @brendafannkatulaGet Caroline Beidler's book for loved ones, When You Love Someone in Recovery Get Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help at veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode ad-free at The Vertias DailyWe explore: — Why a physician could recognize alcoholism in her patients but resist seeing it in her marriage— How childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, and PTSD contributed to her husband’s drinking— What a 0.4 blood-alcohol level revealed about the severity of his dependence— How gaslighting caused Brenda to question her judgment and chase his accusations— The three moments that forced her to admit something had to change— How Brenda protected her children without teaching them to hate their father— Why love, medical knowledge, and hard work could not produce his sobriety— How recovering alcoholics in their church recognized the signs and showed upSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What do you do when God seems silent? How do you even hear God's voice? International speaker and author Em Tyler knows what it's like to struggle to hear God. She joins host Jon Seidl for an honest conversation about hearing God, abiding in Christ, prayer, and discerning the Holy Spirit. For those struggling with addiction or walking in recovery, these aren’t abstract questions. Sometimes we’re asking God for new direction while overlooking what He has already made clear. Em explains why Christian maturity actually means becoming more dependent on Jesus, not less, and how Scripture, humility, ordinary promptings, forgiveness, and simple obedience help us recognize His voice. Hearing God doesn’t have to be mysterious. Sometimes it looks like trusting Him enough to do the next right thing. Connect with Em: https://www.emtyler.com/Listen to her "Grow +Go Podcast": https://emtyler.substack.com/podcastRead Em's writing: https://emtyler.substack.com/Follow her on Instagram: @helloemtylerGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode at The Vertias Daily We Explore: — What abiding in Christ actually looks like in everyday life— Why Christian maturity means becoming more dependent on Jesus, not less— How to discern God’s voice without pretending certainty— What God’s silence may reveal about obedience and surrender— How Scripture helps us test what we think we’re hearing— Why forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are not the same thingSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Arman Kaymakcian’s (Ky-mock-chin) journey from childhood sexual abuse and heroin addiction to faith in Jesus Christ began in unimaginable darkness. After years of using food, marijuana, drug dealing, and eventually intravenous heroin to escape his pain, Arman reached a point of suicidal desperation. He planned to step in front of a train—but walked into a psychiatric ward instead. That night, Arman opened a Bible to Psalm 88, a lament that ends, “Darkness is my closest friend.” Then, just as he was preparing to leave the hospital, he received an extraordinary phone call inviting him back to Keswick Colony of Mercy, a Christian addiction recovery program. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, Arman shares how Jesus met him in the darkest moment of his life. He talks about the agony of heroin withdrawal, nights spent reading Scripture and praying beside a fireplace, and the Christian community God used to help rebuild his life. “I think we’re all looking for the peace of Christ, but we don’t realize it,” Arman says. “People are getting little doses of counterfeit peace here and there.” He also explains why Gospel-centered recovery involves more than sobriety. After finding freedom from heroin, he continued battling pornography and had to learn the importance of repentance, obedience, accountability, and radical vulnerability. Today, Arman is a husband, father, and author. His story shows how Jesus exposes our counterfeit sources of peace, meets us in our darkness, and redeems what we never could. Arman's Books: He Calls Me Redeemed and He Meets Us in the DarkTreatment center: America's KeswickArman's website: armankaymakcian.comFollow Arman on InstagramGet Gospel-centered addiction recovery resources and help: veritasrecovery.orgFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicWatch this episode at The Vertias Daily We explore: —How Arman’s childhood sexual abuse shaped his search for escape—The progression from food and marijuana to drug dealing and intravenous heroin use—Why the things we use to numb ourselves offer only “counterfeit peace”—The suicidal plan that led Arman to a psychiatric ward—Why Psalm 88 spoke to him when darkness felt like his closest friend—The extraordinary phone call that arrived as he was preparing to leave the hospital—The agony of heroin withdrawal and the long nights Arman spent praying and reading Scripture—How Christian community helped Arman slowly become himself again—Why conversion and sobriety didn’t immediately remove every struggle—Arman’s ongoing battle with pornography after finding freedom from heroin—The roles of repentance, obedience, accountability, and radical vulnerability in recovery—Why following Jesus means giving him access to every room in our lives—What distinguishes Gospel-centered recovery from simply stopping a destructive behaviorSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.