Needs vs. Wants | CP245

Needs vs. Wants | CP245

From Connected Parenting by Jennifer Kolari

March 20, 2026 · 15 min

About this episode

Jennifer Kolari discusses the difference between needs and wants in children and how parents can navigate these feelings with empathy and boundaries.

“I need it. No, I really need it.” Whether it’s a toy, a treat, or something trending, many parents have that moment of thinking, that’s definitely not a need. But beneath the meltdowns and intensity is something deeper. This isn’t just about kids being dramatic, it’s about brain development, emotional regulation, and learning to handle discomfort. In this episode, Jennifer explains why children genuinely feel like they need what they want, and how their developing brains make it hard to tell the difference. She explores how impulse control, dopamine, and emotional intensity all play a role and how parents can respond with both empathy and clear boundaries. Because while it’s important to hold the limit, it’s just as important to acknowledge the feeling behind it. For a child, in that moment… it really does feel like a need. Jennifer's Takeaways: Understanding Needs vs. Wants in Parenting (00:00) The Role of Parents as Substitute Frontal Lobes (02:19) Pleasure vs. Happiness and the Novelty Trap (04:45) Modeling Delayed Gratification and Practical Tools (08:24) Gratitude Reflection and Emotional Maturity (12:23) Meet Jennifer Kolari Jennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected…

People in this episode

Host: Jennifer Kolari

Topics covered

  • needs vs wants
  • parenting
  • emotional regulation
  • brain development
  • impulse control

Keywords

  • parenting
  • emotional intensity
  • dopamine
  • delayed gratification
  • children's needs

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