Crucial Podcast

How time flies... It's October! So The Matt and Tubes are doing some horror. First we have a discussion about "Candyman" a look into urban legends and the real world events that inspire them. Can you look into the mirror and call out "Candyman"? You'll have to watch out for bees, and hooks, and poo! Love, 2bs (1984) Up Next: "The Thing" (1982) Isn't it annoying to have to disambiguate all of these reboots?

Sometimes you just have to draw a line. Yeah, ain't that the way these days. I just gotta say some stuff on "The Super Mario Bros. Movie". My issue going into this movie was pure fatigue. It wasn't fatigue from over saturation of blockbusters, I actually don't watch that many blockbusters these days. I just had this sinking feeling every time I saw an ad for this movie. Everyone is going to be talking about this. No one has any reason to like this over anything else. Everyone is going to ask me about this movie a hundred times because they know I like Mario games, and animated features. This may be strange to hear from a guy that does a podcast discussing movies... but I just didn't want to formulate an opinion. I didn't want to watch it. I didn't want to discuss it. I didn't want to have to disagree with people or not be excited for it when they wanted me to be. You may have picked up along the way that I am a fan of animation. I was the kind of kid at age ten to twelve that wasn't quite ready for "Predator". Instead I was hip deep in "The Simpsons", "Earthworm Jim", and "Ren and Stimpy" cartoons. Looking back I think it was less that I only enjoyed comedy and more that I resonated hard with the raw emotional expression of the cartoons that were around in the 90's. I also believe this is what attracted me to anime. A wild array of emotional expression all pulled off with what was at the time, a beautifully minimalist art style. To put that another way. Very few lines in the face that get across specific emotions. Not just angry, or crying, but pensive, nervous or vulnerable, hanging on someones words. That kind of stuff. NUANCE: THERES NO ROOM FOR NUANCE ANYMORE!!! There is nuance in "The Super Mario Bros. Movie". Executed in a way that I have not seen in a hot minute. Family movies or what we used to call "PG-13" type adventure movies are in a very bad place right now. While I'd like to just blame Marvel or Disney while I point and stare holes through them that would not only be too easy, but also wouldn't get to the root issue. The problem is that kids entertainment has to be so strongly separated from adult entertainment by style and tone that they have no room for any real emotional tension. You can have a character say out loud they are frightened... scared, but you cant portray the scene with visceral tension. You cant ever make the kids, or more importantly their hyper vigilant parents, actually feel bad. That is the first issue. The second issue is that blockbusters have slowly consumed the PG-13 space entirely. To the point that when "Deadpool" was announced most of the discussion revolved around it being rated "R". In my opinion "Deadpool" could have easily been every bit as edgy as it was and be a PG-13 movie. Just shoot around the blood a little bit, and bleep a couple of "Fucks" like they did in "The Dark Knight". Tell me "Deadpool" is more emotionally intense than "The Dark Knight". Not on paper. Don't describe to me what happens during Deadpool's origin events, deal with whats on screen. That is how how movies are rated. Not by concept, but by what is shown on camera and how the rater feels about it. No, "Deadpool" was rated "R" because it broke to drastically from the Marvel formula, so it needed to be marketed that way. They anticipated a push back and leaned into it, and it worked. The audience had been too strongly conditioned on tone, and "Deadpool" straight up kills people on camera. Not just crazy villainous space creatures from beyond the moon, but average people. See blockbusters don't destroy cities because they have gone mad with CGI power, they do it because it has a big visual impact, increases the threat of an enemy, and avoids killing individual people on camera. You know people are dying, but you don't have to watch it. Characters die on camera in "The Super Mario Bros. Movie". It isn't grotesque, but its there. Bowser actually destroys things, he actually wants to control someone. He has real goals beyond being evil and he displays the power to make his ambitions a reality. He isn't an obnoxious bumbling oaf that never actually does anything while seeming to hassle the main characters impotently throughout the movie. He blows up a castle, he has plans, he connects to his lackeys. He kinda plays a bit like "Helmet" from "Spaceballs" if he were a jock. He has a personality one can describe and compare to other characters. You can discuss him beyond his action beats. Gold star. Whats the point Tubes? Tie it all up. Ok... ok. The point is that without tension, the characterization in a movie has no foundation to stand on. Whether its a small flick about a kid finding a dog, or a plumber using his parkour skills to help save a kingdom, its all about how you get people invested in a character. I am of the belief that you need some kind of raised stakes to really make a character impactful and stick with your audience. Especially if they are kids. I can see kids really hanging on to this movie. Watching it every few years. Maybe they wont always get the same kick out of the childlike pace, but I dont think they will ever look back on it and consider it a waste of time. They won't ask themselves "Why did I like this so much?" They like it because Mario and Luigi have each other's backs. They don't just say they do, they actually get to show it. Mario and Peach aren't having catty fights about their roles in the movie, or what they do and don't get to do. They work together. They get along pleasantly. They aren't obnoxious. Peach encourages Mario and helps him learn the ropes. Mario isn't the destined hero, or entitled to anything. He even hates mushrooms. He is just someone that is somewhat familiar to Peach, and Peach needs all the help she can get. How nice is it that he's just a guy trying to do his best and he isn't acting dismissive to her so she can prove him wrong later. Or some kind of elementary school horse-shit scripting like that. God I hate movies. At the end of the day, the word is class. I talk often about this with another friend of mine when it comes to gaming. I say Nintendo has class. They usually aren't as crass about hitting the kids up for that next five bucks, and with this movie they've proven once again that they are the only game in town for simple likable characters that offer themselves to the crowd and wait to see what we will gravitate toward. They try to charm us, they don't tell us what they think we want. Have movies become so sanitized that I am going to sit here and tell you that "The Super Mario Bros. Movie" bucks trends and bravely carves out it's own path? Well... yes, yes I am. Because that is exactly what it did. I sat there gunning for it hard, and it won me over. Solid plot construction, good character moments, a bit of an edge, and not one single character annoyed me or came off with that horrendous back-biting tone that ruins so many of these movies. Judged against all movies I'd like to call this a decent family picture with some laughs, the bare minimum. However, judged against it's peers and in the current landscape, I'd say it goes a step beyond and turned yet another cattle call casting/event movie and turned it into something with some entertainment value in it. Good on you Nintendo. You made a billion dollars and i don't have to make that "UGHhhhh" sound every time I see your characters. Well done. Maybe you can make a "Starfox" feature that is better than "Star Wars", there has never been a better time to try. With Love, 2bs

Blight, cryosleep, time dialation, Matt Damon!?!? Oh we are going to need a couple hours to sort this out.

The Matt and Tubes head for Aspen to find out if "Dumb and Dumber" is Crucial. You know it is. 2bs

The Matt and Tubes return to Hong Kong and enter "Kumite" to find out if "Bloodsport" is Crucial. We answer all the big questions in this jam packed episode! What is our favorite asian food? How would we infiltrate the competition? Just how good is Jean-Claude Van Damme's butt? Would you like a mango lassi? Listen in and find out! Love, 2bs

The Matt and Tubes get hauled out of the sea to find out if "The Bourne Identity" is Crucial! Tubes goes on a tangent, The Matt tells a couple crucial stories, and we have a talk about DVD bonus features. Also "The Faculty" got trashed. Turns out mics work better when they are on... We are moving forward. It has been Vetoed by fate. 2bs

So it's come to this.... We go all the way back to our first episode and fill in the gaps to find out if "Moneypenny" is Crucial. Can you believe it's been eight years of Crucial Podcast?!? Up Next: "Point Break"

The Matt and Tubes get their talent stolen to find out if "Space Jam" is Crucial. "Space Jam" Is a 1996 family comedy that follows Micheal Jordan's retirement and return to the NBA during the height of his career and also at a very pivotal time in his life. Then to put things into hyperspace Warner Brothers throws in The Looney Tunes for good measure. Tons of NBA stars, recognizeable characters, and a killer soundtrack gave us plenty to talk about. 2bs Up Next: "First Blood"