Why He Picked Her - Not You with Patti Stanger

Why He Picked Her - Not You with Patti Stanger

From Daddy Issues with Violet Benson by Violet Benson

April 9, 2026 · 1h 13m

About this episode

Patti Stanger joins Violet Benson to discuss how women can stop being placeholders in relationships and recognize their worth.

Read it and weep, besties, because Patti is not here to sugarcoat a single thing. Stop wasting your time on a boy who only wants you around to boost his ego, fill his schedule, and keep you on standby while he figures himself out. Boys will breadcrumb you, mind game you, and keep you confused. Men make it clear. And we are done accepting less. Today, Patti Stanger returns to the show to talk about how to stop being a placeholder, raise your standards, and actually recognize the difference between a man and a boy. Patti and Violet get into why women give too much too soon, how bad relationship patterns start in childhood, why men know much earlier than they admit, and how to tell when you’re being strung along. They also break down love bombing, gaslighting, red flags, ultimatums, dating with self-respect, and why waiting around is the fastest way to waste your own life. If you’ve ever questioned someone’s intentions, stayed too long, or confused chemistry with commitment, this one is your wake-up call. What to Listen For: 07:40 Why do we pick who we pick? 09:20 If you give a man too much of anything 13:43 Dating a boy versus a man 17:53 You want to know what their intentions are…

People in this episode

Host: Violet

Guest: Patti Stanger

Topics covered

  • relationships
  • self-worth
  • dating advice
  • gender dynamics
  • emotional intelligence

Keywords

  • love bombing
  • gaslighting
  • red flags
  • self-respect
  • dating patterns

Mentioned in this episode

Places: California

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