Dancing With Depression

In this episode of Dancing with Depression, Sid shares her profound journey of healing from trauma and mental health struggles, revealing that growth and hope are ongoing processes. We explore the importance of self-awareness, boundaries, and embracing the journey, no matter how challenging. KEY TOPICS:The metaphor of healing as a journey, not a destinationThe role of curiosity, grace, and openness in growthHow to extend grace to oneself during difficult timesEarly signs of mental health struggles and recognizing themThe unexpected value Sid found from professional help and EMDR therapyThe power of reprogramming harmful thoughts and giving self-graceBoundaries as a vital tool for healing and self-careThe significance of movement, nature, and grounding activitiesThe challenge of implementation versus knowledgeThe value of intentional self-awareness and continuous learningRESOURCES:The Four Agreements by Don Miguel RuizEMDR Therapy InformationMorgan Harper Nichols' PoetryGrounding and Movement for Mental HealthCLOSING:Remember, healing is nonlinear and ongoing. Embrace your journey, set boundaries, seek support, and gift yourself grace along the way. This community is here to support you every step. Until next time, keep moving forward.Episode DisclaimerThis episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

Main Topics:• The difference between external and internalized stigma• How stigma alters self-perception during personal crises• The role of shame and shame avoidance in mental health• The influence of societal judgments on our decisions to seek help• Strategies for discrediting stigmas and reclaiming identityIn this episode:• Adam describes the moment he realized how internal stigma affected him more than external judgment• He discusses how the shame of bankruptcy was intertwined with his self-identity• Insights into how societal views can make us equate struggles with personal failure• The importance of reframing setbacks as experiences, not definitions• Practical advice on refusing to let stigma shape who you areEpisode DisclaimerThis episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

Join us in this episode as we explore the critical role of safety in personal growth, performance, and well-being. Discover how creating safe environments—physically, emotionally, and psychologically—can unlock your potential and foster resilience.In this episode:The core principle that safety is foundational for growth and thrivingHow safety varies from person to person and the importance of awarenessJohn Damon’s background as a former athlete and fitness environment designerThe impact of trauma and childhood experiences on one's sense of safetyPractical ways to build safety in relationships, environments, and oneselfThe significance of environment design in physical spaces like gyms and homesHow safety influences performance, risk-taking, and opennessThe metaphor of the gym spotter as a symbol of safety and supportStrategies for leaders, coaches, and owners to cultivate safety in teamsThe concept of thriving versus merely surviving and the importance of celebrationPersonal insights on dealing with depression and building mental health resilienceThe power of small acts of kindness in fostering safety and connectionAbout John Damon:John Damon is a performance coach, trainer, and gym designer with decades of experience working with elite athletes, Hollywood talent, and the people who run things. His work goes beyond the physical — confidence, habits, and mindset are all part of the standard. Featured in Men’s Fitness, Muscle & Fitness, Men’s Journal, Shape, the Boston Globe, the LA Times, and more. He’s the founder of The Cave, Charlotte’s premier private training and recovery sanctuary. Where to find John Damon:Website: johndamon.comInstagram: @johndamon | @thecavebyjohndamonYouTube: @thejohndamonTikTok: @thejohndamonConnect with AdamEmail: dancingwithdepression@yahoo.comRemember, safety is not just a physical space but a mental and emotional foundation that empowers growth. Start building your safe space today.

In this episode, Adam Turner hosts Marcus Farris, the post-traumatic growth director at Mission 22, to unpack the organization’s mission to reduce veteran suicide and empower mental health recovery. We explore the origins of Mission 22, the significance of the number 22, and how veterans can find new purpose after service. Whether you're a veteran, family member, or supporter, this conversation offers valuable insights into healing, community, and resilience.In this episode:The origin story of Mission 22 and how discarded metal created art that symbolizes hope and tragedyWhy the number 22 represents the daily veteran suicides and what the organization hopes to changeThe psychological parallels between combat trauma and civilian life, including the importance of community and bondsHow veterans can repurpose their warrior traits into new ventures like entrepreneurship, yoga, or advocacyThe role of coaching versus therapy in supporting veteran mental health and personal growthThe significance of family support and addressing the relational impacts of veteran traumaExamples of veteran success stories, including founders of businesses and community projectsPractical ways to get involved with Mission 22: programs, ambassador opportunities, retreats, and resourcesResources & Links:Mission 22 Official WebsiteThe Resiliency Podcast - Mission 22On Sheeps, Sheepdogs, and Wolves Essay Support the mission:Liking, sharing, or leaving a review of this episode helps spread awareness.Volunteer or participate in programs through mission22.org.Consider becoming an ambassador or joining veteran athlete initiatives.Remember:Asking for help today enables you to be the support for others tomorrow. Your healing journey can inspire and uplift those around you—reach out, connect, and don't do it alone.Episode DisclaimerThis episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

In this heartfelt episode, Adam chats with Allison Paradise about her journey from achievement-driven success and societal expectations to embracing her true self.Together, they explore the roles of labels, internal struggles, childhood innocence, and the courage required to break free and live authentically.In this episode:Allison's childhood experiences with labels and societal expectationsThe internal conflict between achievement and true passionHow childhood innocence and light can be dimmed by adult conditioningThe significance of questioning societal roles and internalized expectationsThe process of identifying and releasing limiting labels (smart, good daughter, etc.)Challenges faced during early college years and health crisesThe journey from performing for others to living for oneselfPractical tools: labeling exercises and strategies to unlearn imposed identitiesThe importance of creating safe spaces for children and adults to just bePersonal best practices for managing heavy emotions: crying, sleeping, writing, and presenceResources & Links:My Green Lab — Nonprofit promoting sustainability in labsTED Talk (2019) – Our little world — Allison's impactful speech on unseen emotional weightsThe Mistake – by Allison Paradise (Find on Amazon.com)This episode encourages you to reflect on the labels you carry and empowers you to take steps toward living your authentic life, honoring your inner light, and creating safe spaces for growth—inside and out.Episode DisclaimerThis episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

In this episode of the Dancing with Depression podcast, Adam Turner explores the profound impact of language on our emotional experiences and mental health. He discusses how certain words can invite scrutiny and shift focus from feelings to accuracy, particularly in relationships and self-talk. Adam emphasizes the importance of understanding our emotions and the journey of healing, highlighting that the language we use shapes our behavior and outcomes. He encourages listeners to engage with their feelings honestly and to seek support in their mental health journeys.TakeawaysThe words we choose can lock us in place or leave space for growth.Absolutes in language can turn moments into identities.When we say 'never' or 'always', we often express overwhelming emotions.Understanding the context of our words is crucial in relationships.Healing involves recognizing that feelings are valid but not permanent. Language shapes behavior, which in turn shapes outcomes.It's important to ask what someone means rather than correcting their words.The journey of healing is reflected in the evolution of our language.Support and understanding are key in navigating mental health challenges.Community engagement can amplify the message of hope and understanding.Episode DisclaimerThis episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

In this conversation, Adam Turner and Mark Franklin explore Mark's military background, the challenges of transitioning to civilian life, and the importance of mental health awareness. They discuss the significance of camaraderie in the military, leadership lessons learned, and the impact of personal experiences on growth. Mark shares insights on coping with loss and the necessity of community support, emphasizing that seeking help is a sign of strength. The discussion highlights the journey of personal development and the importance of connection in overcoming life's challenges. TakeawaysMark's military background shaped his perspective on life.The importance of camaraderie in the military is profound.Transitioning to civilian life can be challenging for veterans.Mental health awareness has improved but still needs attention.Connection with others is crucial for mental well-being.Experiencing loss can lead to deeper reflections on life.Leadership lessons from the military can apply to civilian roles.Understanding different perspectives is key to personal growth.Support systems play a vital role in overcoming challenges.It's important to take the first step towards seeking help. Episode DisclaimerThis episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

In this episode of the Dancing with Depression podcast, Dr. Lauren Goldstein sharesher insights into the importance of psychological evaluations and assessments. Withover 20 years of experience, she explains how these evaluations can provide clarity andunderstanding for individuals struggling with mental health issues. The conversationcovers the evaluation process, common misconceptions, and the significance of aneurodiversity affirming approach. Dr. Goldstein emphasizes that evaluations are notabout judgment but about uncovering one's unique strengths and challenges, ultimatelyguiding individuals towards effective support and treatment.TakeawaysEvaluations provide clarity, not judgment.Understanding oneself is key to effective support.Testing is about learning how your unique brain works.The evaluation process is a journey of self-discovery.Common reasons for seeking evaluations include feeling stuck or overwhelmed.Neurodiversity affirming approaches focus on strengths, not deficits.There is no wrong time to pursue an evaluation.Misconceptions about testing can create unnecessary fear.Therapy helps cope; assessments help understand.Developing a personal toolkit is essential for managing mental health.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Dr. Lauren Goldstein04:28 Common Reasons for Seeking Evaluations08:24 Breaking Points: When Adults Seek Testing11:45 Moving from Uncertainty to Clarity13:44 Creating a Roadmap for Support16:01 Misconceptions About Testing and Evaluations18:58 When is the Right Time for an Evaluation?20:51 Neurodiversity Affirming Approach Explained25:23 Understanding How You Think and Learn26:10 Considering the Value of Evaluations26:33 Preparing for the Evaluation Process27:39 Assessment vs. Therapy: Understanding the Difference28:21 Knowing When to Pause and Reflect29:00 Sorting Out Underlying Issues30:57 Using Assessment Results for Tailored Treatment31:24 Real-Life Impact of Accurate Diagnoses34:12 Encouragement for Those Feeling Stuck34:59 Developing Your Own Coping Toolkit37:31 Personal Reflections on ADHD Diagnosis42:32 Conclusion and Final ThoughtsEpisode DisclaimerThis episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

Welcome to the Dancing with Depression podcast. I'm your host, Adam Turner. If you've never been to therapy, you might not know what to expect. My only understanding of it came from watching The Sopranos. Dramatic, intense, sometimes a little scary. The truth is, it’s very different. So, it was only fitting to invite my first therapist, Giselle Schochet.Okay, before we go down memory lane, I want to set the stage for today's conversation. If you've never been to therapy before, or if you've considered going, but weren't sure what to expect, this episode is designed for you. We're going to break down what the first session really looks like. So, you can feel a little more at ease with them.a process that just typically is kind of uncomfortable at first. What's cool is you're going to hear it from both sides, my perspective as a client, which I still want to refer to as a patient, but anyways, who has had that experience. And then we're also going to get the perspective of an expert, Giselle, who guides people through this.pretty much every day. So speaking of experts, I'm joined by someone who played an important role in my own personal mental health journey. She holds a Master of Science and is a licensed marriage and family therapist, Giselle Schockett. Thanks for having me, Adam.It’s great to see you. We want to talk a little bit about what that first appointment or scheduling is like but before we dive in, can you share just a little bit about your professional backgroundWhat ultimately led you into this line of work? Okay, so I've been in private practice for 28 years and I started out as an intern going through my master's program at a pastoral counseling center. That's where I got my start and from there, I think I worked there for about five years.While I was working towards my licensure because you must get a certain number of client face-to-face hours to sit for the board to get your license and then Unfortunately that pastoral counseling center went out of business. So, one of my colleagues and I went and opened our own practice. And we were very fortunate, of course, because we were able to take a lot of those clients with us. So that was nice. I also have worked in emergency departments.three of them for, I no longer work in emergency departments, but I worked in three of them for about 20 years at the same time as I was doing private practice. And that is an entirely different situation and a wonderful way to get experience with every mental health issue you can imagine. I really, really enjoy that. And, now I'm just in private practice and kind of easing into retirement, I want to say to anyone who's listening that this is my first time doing a podcast and I am scared to death so I want anyone to understand that Everything new is scary And you just have to take that leap of faith and take the first step and make that phone call and if someone doesn't call you back that unfortunately doesn't mean anything is wrong with you it means that they're not giving good customer service that's all that means so make the next phone call go down your list and find someone that either answersSo as far as how I got to doing therapy, think you'll probably find that no one gets into this business without having their own story. And we all have our own story. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. I was the youngest of five and never felt like I had a voice around the house. There was a lot of, didn't suffer physical abuse, but my brothers did. And I just always felt like I needed to understand why, how someone could be so awful to another person. And so that was a big part of it. And then when I was probably around eighth grade, I had a traumatic experience where I was chased by some men in a...box truck and that was really scary for me and so my mother took me to therapy and while I don't remember really anything about it I just know it didn't work for me. It was I didn't feel comfortable; the person didn't make me comfortable and so that was something else that I wanted to make sure the people I saw were very comfortable like it was almost you know in your living room talking over a cup of coffee. And that's kind of how I've done my practice. And that translated. Because, you know, I felt that I didn't know the backstory. didn't know how you got into, you know, being a therapist, but I did feel like at times we were just sitting there chopping it up. and so that was nice. And that really is kind of dynamic. As you mentioned you were young. Not that you went to therapy quote unquote against your will, but you didn't really know what was going on. I went willingly, even though I kind of was misled, but we'll talk about that later on. So that really being the part is you know, what should someone expect or can they expect going into their first therapy session from your knowledge? What would you like them to think?Well, I think currently technology has changed from when I first started. Now, generally, think people send a packet over the internet and you fill out your history and why you're coming and that kind of thing. So, we have a head start on how to structure the first visit.That can make it a little more clinical than I prefer it to be because it's almost like we just jump in instead of just being kind of an organic learning about you and what's going on in your life. But so, we gen, I don't know if that's across the United States that therapists do that, but that's how I operate my business. You will get a list of questions to answer.Okay.And then when you come in, I just talk about, first I try and make you at ease, you know, of course, because just like I am today, very nervous. You are going to be nervous if it's your first time going into a therapist's office. So, it's a time for you to interview the therapist as well as a therapist to understand you a little bit to make sure that they have the specialty to meet your needs. So, I think one of the things I want people to understand is that it's not somewhere where you're going to be judged at all. It's somewhere where you can have a conversation and you have 50 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour where someone is just paying attention to you without distractions.And it's probably the first time in our lives that we're doing that because there's always distractions. So that's one of the things I really enjoy about therapy is it's just one-on-one or in my case, I'm a marriage and family therapist. So, it could be a family, but we're just there together really connecting.And you talked about, you know, wanting to kind of set the stage of being comfortable and such. Are there any techniques or things that you do specifically as you're sitting across from someone or even, you know, if you're doing telehealth and maybe you're picking up that they're nervous, you're picking up different sizes. Is there anything specific that you do to help them?Well, people tell me that I do make them feel at ease. And I think that's because I know what it was like for me to go into this office with someone who was going to read my mind or something, I think I thought at first when I was younger. And it's intimidating, right? You're telling, you're pretty…eventually your, you know, your most inner thoughts and that is I take that as a very humbling experience for me. I value that people are willing to share things that they wouldn't share with, maybe even their best friend. So, I take that very seriously. I also try and bring in humor.will tell them that, for instance, my mother told me everybody wasn't going to like me. And that is certainly the case. And that's okay, you know, we're not everybody's cup of tea. And if I'm not the right fit for you, go somewhere else, and I will help you go somewhere else. I will not take offense to that. And I think I hope that other thera...

In this conversation, Katie shares her profound journey through mental health challenges, including the onset of panic attacks, her experiences with various treatments, and the impact on her family. She discusses her time at Hopeway, a treatment facility that provided her with a supportive community and various therapeutic activities. Katie emphasizes the importance of seeking help, the tools she uses for coping, and her commitment to advocating for mental health awareness and support. TakeawaysKatie experienced panic attacks that disrupted her life.She sought help from therapists and psychiatrists.Her journey included a stay at a behavioral health facility.Hopeway provided a supportive community for healing.Katie's family struggled to understand her mental health challenges.She emphasizes the importance of self-care and coping strategies.Katie found joy in serving her community post-treatment.She advocates for mental health awareness and support.Katie learned that feelings of depression are not permanent.Her experience has opened conversations about mental health in her family. Episode Disclaimer This episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

The Question I Couldn’t Answer begins with a routine doctor’s appointment and a simple question about family medical history—one I realized I couldn’t answer when it came to mental health. A call to my mother brought not only clarity, but unexpected details I was hearing for the first time. This episode reflects on what we inherit, what goes unspoken, and how understanding our past can shape our healing.TakeawaysMental health discussions are crucial for understanding personal struggles.Family dynamics play a significant role in mental health.Support systems are vital during times of illness.Resilience can be built through shared experiences and challenges.Marriage requires ongoing effort and communication to thrive.Recognizing signs of depression can be difficult amidst daily responsibilities.Therapy and counseling can provide valuable tools for couples.Personal reflections can lead to greater self-awareness and healing.It's important to express feelings and maintain open communication with loved ones.Shared experiences can foster deeper connections and understanding. Episode Disclaimer This episode of Dancing With Depression includes conversations about mental health that may be sensitive for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. The content shared reflects personal experiences and perspectives and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For non-emergency support and resources, contact the NAMI HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).

Welcome back to another episode of Dancing with Depression. I'm Adam. And today I want to talk about something I never thought I would talk about. Group therapy. Or as I said at the time, group therapy. OK. So let me rewind just a little bit. On July 22nd, I felt like I was drowning at work. Now, I'm sure we've all felt overwhelmed before. You know, that feeling of spinning your wheels, crossing one thing off of your to-do list, only to have three more things show up. But this felt different. Everyday responsibilities, mounting stress, and the weight of trying to hold it all together, it just became too much. And I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. The next day, July 23rd. I found myself sitting with my psychiatrist and after that conversation, I made the decision that I've never made before. I submitted a claim for short-term disability. I didn't fully understand what that even meant or what came next. I didn't fully understand what that meant or even what came next. I just knew one thing for sure. The way I was living wasn't working. My hope was that some time away from work might just help me catch my breath. You know, maybe reset. How? I had no clue. I just knew I couldn't keep going the way I was. As I started planning what time away would look like, both my psychiatrist and therapist suggested something I hadn't even considered. A mental health clinic. Now that was definitely not part of my plan. Mostly because let's be honest, I didn't have one. So I did what most of us do when we're unsure of something. I did a Google search. And it was like I was choosing a restaurant while on vacation. And I went straight to the reviews. The clinic that had been recommended had received a 3.6 out of five stars, with 113 reviews, which I felt was a significant amount to gauge what kind of facility this would be. Now, I don't know about you, but I tend to jump straight to the bad reviews so that one, I could determine if it was worth going any further. But I also, think, was subconsciously building my exit strategy as to why this wouldn't be a good fit. But I read probably 10 different reviews. And I realized that there wasn't anything that consistently stood out. There were some challenges I'm sure people experience, but they seem to be very isolated. And many of them were about the food not being that great. That's. Wasn't going to be strong enough for me to to say no. And. I always remind myself that especially when you're reading other people's experiences and reviews that there's always two sides to every story and the truth usually lands somewhere in between. So I decided to move on and check out the website, learn a little bit more about the different programs that they had to offer. And I read they had three options. The first one was residential. The second one was PHP. And the third one was IOP. So the website breaks down what each of those programs consist of and Essentially, the residential program is that of what it sounds. You're living on their facility, which happens to be in 30 minutes away from where I am. But you're there for 30 days and you are in full day group therapy. You have weekly psychiatrist and therapist sessions, and then they have weekend activities like yoga or journaling or ARP. The second option was PHP, which is partial hospitalization. Again, you're going to their facility. It's a structured day, so you're there from 9 o'clock in the morning till 4 in the afternoon, Monday through Friday. But you go home. And the third option is IOP, which is intensive outpatient. It's much more flexible. I learned later on that a lot of people step down and kind of use the IOP to transition from a residential program into kind of going back into their normal routine. The way I viewed IOP was I could still be at home and that was what was comfortable for me. My initial reaction with regards to residential was no way. And the funny part was I said to myself, I'm not mentally ready for residential. Yeah, not mentally ready for mental health treatment. Sounds ridiculous, but this is also the same guy that admitted that he stopped taking all of his medications cold turkey. So. That's where I was at. I landed on IOP. As I mentioned, it felt like the safest choice. I could be in my own home and honestly. I didn't go in with big expectations or goals on what I was hoping to get from therapy, I just knew that I had to do something. And like everything within the medical or healthcare systems, there was forms that I had to fill out. There was screenings and evaluations to ensure that I could benefit from the program. And eventually I did end up getting the call that I had been accepted and I was scheduled to start August 15th at 9 a.m. In the days leading up to that, my mind was racing and asking questions like, is this really happening? Is this going to help me? How did I even get here? But first day came and those questions shifted from curiosity to a full on panic. I remember logging into the zoom call. And I use zoom for work all the time, so I'm very comfortable with it. But this. This was different. You see at work. Everyone centered in their frame. They have good lighting. Polished backgrounds, whether they have like a blur or a background of a place that they want to go to and you can't see everything in the background. This call started off very differently. People were laying down in their bed. Cameras were pointing up at the ceiling. Someone was on a hike. Another person was folding their laundry. And I couldn't help but think to myself, what the hell have I gotten myself into? Glanced at the clock. It was 906 a.m. And I just told myself, just get through the next two hours and 54 minutes. And we can try and figure out where to go from here. But I certainly didn't think it was going to be another session. And then the clinician welcomed everyone. And asked if anyone had something that they wanted to process. And I remember my therapist saying to me that it's okay to just listen for a while. Don't feel like you have to participate until you're ready if you're ready. And someone started to share. And I remember shortly after that saying, think this is going to be helpful and looking at the clock and seeing that it was 9.10. It's amazing what four minutes can do. So of course... So what changed? Well, I think first and foremost, I took a step back. I let my guard down and instead of focusing on all of these things that were different, with how they looked and their cameras and distractions everywhere, I realized that I was that person just in a different setting.There were days that I didn't get out of bed. There were days, not days like in a day, like multiple days where I didn't take a shower. And I was hiding from essentially being seen. These folks were brave enough to turn their cameras on and give what they had. And so... I started to see the similarities as opposed to the differences. And those differences weren't even between me and other people. was environment wise, work versus group ther...

Welcome back to another episode of Dancing With Depression. Today’s conversation is one that’s deeply personal, raw, and vulnerable. We’re diving into the effects of medication—what it’s like when I’m on it, and what happened when I decided, on my own, to stop taking it.Before we begin, I want to make something very clear: these are my personal experiences. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please seek professional help. You can call 1-800-950-NAMI (that’s 1-800-950-6264) or text NAMI to 62640. You're not alone, and there are people who care and want to help.There’s a saying that I think is the perfect framework for this episode:“Don’t judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes.”So, today, I invite you to walk in mine.----The DecisionA few months ago, I made a decision—not recommended by a professional, not thought out, and definitely not the smartest one in my 49 years on this earth—to stop all of my medication. Yup, cold turkey.And when I say “all,” I mean ALL:My anxiety and depression medicationMy diabetes medicationMy cholesterol medicationLet me pause and give you a second to ask the question that everyone asks me when I tell them this: “Why?” “What were you thinking?”And my honest answer is:I don’t know.I just knew I was tired of feeling like a numb little bug. Of going through life like a robot. Sure, the medication was working—it was helping my anxiety and depression—but I didn’t feel like myself. I wasn’t folding laundry, wasn’t showering regularly, wasn’t picking up the phone to call people I love. I wanted to do these things, I had internal conversations about doing these things, I even said how beneficial they would be…but no action followed.Even joy started feeling… muted.----The CrashThe first sign something was wrong? I was keeping myself awake until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I’ve always been a night owl, but this was different. I’d be up at 2, 3, 4 a.m., not because I was energized—but because I was trying to keep my brain busy until it just gave out. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts.And here’s where I need to tread carefully. The thoughts I was having were about death, but not suicide. I was struggling with the concept of life and death—grappling with existence itself. It's hard to explain, and maybe I’ll try in another episode once I can wrap my brain around it a little better. But it was scary, and heavy, and consuming. I’d like to add that this moment was part of my crash, and if I had chosen not to share it, only a select few would have known. But not everyone has that luxury.Society today is quick to pull out a phone and record a developing situation, hoping it “goes viral.” Maybe this name rings a bell, maybe it doesn’t—but what comes to mind when I say Delonte West?Delonte West was a professional basketball player in the NBA. He played for the Dallas Mavericks, Boston Celtics, and Cleveland Cavaliers, earning just over $16 million over the course of eight seasons. His story perfectly reflects the saying, “Don’t judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes.”In 2022, a video of Delonte West went viral showing the former NBA player panhandling in a gas station parking lot. The overwhelming majority of the comments focused on how much money he had made during his career, as if being an NBA player somehow protected him from “being human.” People judged him without knowing he was battling addiction and had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.We have access to an endless amount of information, yet we still haven’t mastered the ability to understand what is happening in someone’s life—much less why it’s happening.We have to do better. I encourage you to do better…----A Glimmer of GoodNow, I won’t say there weren’t any positives. The biggest one? I was reintroduced to my emotions. I cried when watching the video of a soldier come home and surprising his family. You know the ones I’m talking about….– I ugly cried watching the Disney/Pixar movie - Inside Out – nothing like a good cry!That emotion had been missing for years, often times I questioned if it would ever reappear. It did & I’m glad!And I’ve restarted my diabetes and cholesterol meds. ----The Ripple EffectWhat I didn’t realize at the time was how much this decision impacted not just me—but everyone around me.1. WorkLet’s start with work. In sales, hitting quota isn’t just about personal pride—it directly affects your manager’s income. When I stopped my meds, my performance dropped. I missed my quota for months.Many managers would’ve written me off. “Burnout,” they’d say. Or “maybe he’s looking for a new job.” But my manager? He noticed something was off.He didn’t pry. He just said, “I’m here if you need anything.” And when I finally told him what I was going through—he didn’t judge. He listened. That didn’t change the company’s expectations, of course. I still had to hit quota. But it made me feel seen, and that made a difference.2. FamilyThen there’s my family. I had a two-hour phone call with my brother—well, I talked for nearly two hours, he probably got five minutes in. Which clearly earned him the “GREAT LISTENER” badge!!! But in those five minutes, he dropped something that hit hard. My mom had been wondering why I only called on the way to dinner. Calls that always ended abruptly when I reached the restaurant.I hadn’t realized how that made her feel.Like I was squeezing her into a schedule, not prioritizing our time.That moment humbled me. This journey isn’t just affecting me—it’s affecting the people who love me. And that’s something I have to own.BobbieNow for the part that hit me the hardest: Bobbie.Bobbie has loved me through everything. And I’ll be honest—I don’t always understand how she does it. She sends me motivational videos, encourages walks, shares wellness tips, and somehow still believes in me when I can’t believe in myself.She reminds me daily that there’s hope.She educates me on ways to get through & reduce my anxiety & depression:That food is the most abused anxiety drugThat sunlight is medicineThat 7 minutes of laughter can change your entire moodThat 8 hours of sleep isn’t optionalThat movement mattersThat I can still LIVE, not just surviveAnd she challenges me, lovingly, to put in the work. To show up for myself. Because she knows I can do it, even when I don’t.----The GoalSo here’s where I am today: I’m not “fixed.” This isn’t the end of the movie where everything gets tied up in a neat little bow.But I’m better than I was four weeks ago.