Design Your Life, Your Way - Empowering Women Over 50 to Live Life On Purpose

Started strong, then quietly stopped and judged yourself for it? You’re not alone. In this episode, I confess my status as a midlife self-saboteur when it comes to food and my business – and the fear of success hiding underneath it all. Plus, you’ll hear about five simple tools I’m employing to help myself and other self-saboteurs get off the hamster wheel, one day at a time. If you’ve ever set a goal with the best of intentions, made real progress, and then watched yourself quietly slide back into old patterns, this episode is for you. We’ll talk about why self-sabotage after 50 often isn’t a willpower problem at all. Sometimes it’s fear of failure. Or fear of success. Together, we’ll move through the emotions that come with this kind of honesty: frustration, shame, relief, and ultimately hope. I’ll walk you through the tools I’m using right now to interrupt the cycle and close with a light language transmission to help release whatever might be keeping you stuck. Wherever you are in your own cycle of starting and stopping, I hope this conversation reminds you of something important: you’ve done this before, and you can do it again. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why self-sabotage often shows up as a fear of success, not a fear of failure — and what to do when you notice it A simple 5-minute pause practice (I use the Triple Flame app) to interrupt emotional eating or procrastination before it takes over How to use curious, non-judgmental journaling to uncover what’s really driving a behavior you want to change A mirror affirmation practice to remind yourself: you’ve succeeded before, and you can succeed again Why “one day at a time” might be the simplest and most powerful tool for breaking any cycle — in your health, your business, or your life Resources & links mentioned: Triple Flame app (created by the team behind The Gene Keys) — used for guided 3/5/10-minute pause practices Soulful Women’s Network — free Facebook community: bit.ly/soulnetwork Related podcast episode – Midlife Habits that Stick: Start Small, Stay Consistent Design Your Life, Your Way – next steps: Book a 1:1 Light Language session: bit.ly/LLEpodcast30 If this episode spoke to you, leave us a review. Follow/subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this conversation with a woman over 50 who might recognize herself in this cycle of starting and stopping Connect with me on LinkedIn @GloriaGraceRand to continue the conversation about midlife, self-sabotage, and choosing yourself again. Before you click away, take one breath, place a hand on your heart, and ask: What is one small, loving choice I can make right now instead of the one I’ve been making on autopilot?

She’s 101 years old. She still swims. She goes to Zumba. And she bakes her own bread every week. Betty Morris isn’t an anomaly — she’s a blueprint for designing a life you love. This week’s solo episode is for the woman who doesn’t just want more years, she wants more life in those years! I’m sharing Betty’s four foundational practices for becoming a centenarian, plus one more that I’ve added from my own journey. Whether you’re in your 50s, 60s, or beyond, these practices are ones you can implement today, in whatever form calls to you. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why consistent movement, in whatever form you enjoy, may be the single most important thing you can do for longevity right now How community connection literally adds years to your life, and creative ways to find (or build) yours The gratitude practice I use every night before bed, and why being grateful for the hard things is the real spiritual work How to treat yourself in ways that nourish your body and soul, not just your sweet tooth Why a daily spiritual practice like meditation, journaling, and/or energy work is the hidden pillar of physical health that Betty didn’t mention Resources & links mentioned: YouTube channel for strength training exercises tailored for women 50+ youtube.com/@HT-Physio Meetup.com — find local groups and communities around shared interests GloriaRand.com — learn more about Light Language sessions for midlife women Previous episode: Breaking Free from Loneliness: Community After 50 Design Your Life, Your Way – next steps: Book a private Light Language session with me: bit.ly/LLEpodcast30 Learn more about working with Gloria Grace Rand: EngageWithGloria.com If this episode spoke to you, leave us a review. Follow/subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this with a woman in your life who’s thinking about her next chapter — and how she wants to live it. Connect with me on LinkedIn @GloriaGraceRand to continue the conversation about midlife, meaning, and living on purpose.  

You didn’t stumble into this life by accident, but you may have stayed in it longer than your soul intended. This episode is a gentle but direct invitation to stop settling, start pruning, and simplify your second act in a way that finally feels like you. If you’re a woman over 50 who knows you’re living a life you didn’t consciously design, you’re not alone. And you’re not stuck! In this solo episode, I’m exploring the concept of quintessence: that essential, truest version of your life that gets buried under decades of obligation, complexity, and saying yes when your soul was whispering no. My conversation today was inspired by the Gene Keys Pulse newsletter on Gene Key 23, which moves from complexity to quintessence through the path of simplicity. I’m sharing four practical shifts to help you move from overwhelmed to purposeful. We’ll talk about body wisdom, the courage to say no, getting back to analog rhythms, and the quiet power of the pause. I’ll also share a few minutes of light language to help you drop out of your thinking brain and back into your essence — because sometimes the most radical act is stillness. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why the equation ‘complexity = anxiety, simplicity = serenity’ is the most important math you’ll ever do for your wellbeing. How your body already knows when your life is out of alignment, and why learning to listen is the first step to redesigning it. The four-step framework for moving from an overfull, reactive life to one that feels like yours: the Pruning Audit, Analog Rhythm, Design from the Pause, and the Handmade Life Commitment. Why saying no is not selfish — it’s self-full — and how to do it with grace and without over-explaining yourself. How returning to hands-on, analog activities can quiet the mental noise and bring you back to your own creative wisdom. Resources & links mentioned: Gene Keys by Richard Rudd — genekeys.com (subscribe free to the Pulse newsletter) Gab.ai (all-in-one AI tool referenced in episode) Morning Pages practice (from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron) EngageWithGloria.com — Schedule a free 20-minute call with Grace Design Your Life, Your Way – next steps: Learn more about working with Gloria Grace: gloriarand.com Take the free Personal Power Archetype Quiz to start designing your next chapter: bit.ly/PersonalPowerQuiz If this episode spoke to you, leave us a review. Follow/subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this episode with a woman who’s feeling the weight of too much and is ready to return to her essence. Connect with me on LinkedIn @GloriaGraceRand to continue the conversation about midlife, meaning, and living on purpose.

If you’re a woman over 50 feeling tired, anxious, and craving calm, this episode could be the solution you’ve been looking for. In this conversation with Ayurvedic practitioner Jonathan Glass, we’ll explore how the 5,000-year-old system of Ayurveda understands the unique needs of women in midlife, and how simple daily shifts can help you build stress resilience, steady your nervous system, and restore your energy without pushing harder. This interview is for the woman who’s spent decades caring for others, and is finally hearing the inner nudge that it’s time to come to herself. We explore Ayurveda as a whole-life healing system, (not just a “diet” or body-type trend), and why honoring your unique nature matters more now than ever. Jonathan shares the five universal goals every human being is striving for, and how understanding them can help you design the next chapter of your life with clarity and self-compassion. Tune in to discover: How changing hormones naturally redirect your focus from others to yourself, and why that’s not selfish — it’s sacred. Ayurveda’s five goals of life and how understanding these principles can guide your next chapter decisions. How to spot your personal “out of balance” patterns so you can respond earlier and more lovingly. Why supporting your nervous system and glands through diet, herbs, and lifestyle can make the next 20 to 40 years more vibrant. About my guest: Jonathan Glass is a naturopathic doctor and Ayurvedic practitioner who helps people restore health through integrative, nature-based medicine. He’s the co-founder of Healing Essence Center and author of Total Life Cleanse, a 28-day Ayurvedic-inspired program supporting detoxification and renewal. Connect with Jonathan: Website: HealingEssenceCenter.com Instagram: @jonathanglassnd Email: healingessencectr (at) gmail.com Book: The Total Life Cleanse – available on Amazon or Jonathan’s website Resources & links mentioned: Be Here Now by Ram Dass – The book that first introduced Jonathan to meditation as a teenager Back to Eden by Jethro Kloss – Classic naturopathy guide that changed Jonathan’s relationship with food Adaptogens – Herbal supplements that support adrenal health and hormone balance during midlife transitions The five goals of life: Dharma (purpose), Artha (economic security), Kama (pleasure), Moksha (freedom), Prema (love) Design Your Life, Your Way – next steps: If this episode spoke to you, leave us a review. Follow/subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this with a friend who’s navigating transition, reinvention, or a fresh start after 50. Connect with me on LinkedIn @GloriaGraceRand to continue the conversation about midlife, meaning, and living on purpose. TRANSCRIPT Welcome and Introduction to Ayurveda Joining us today is Jonathan Glass. He is a naturopathic doctor and Ayurvedic practitioner and natural health educator, among other things. And he has trained extensively in Ayurveda, yoga and meditation while living in India and through the American Institute of Vedic Studies and the Dharma Institute of Yoga and Ayurveda. And, and I’m really looking forward to our conversation and learning a little bit more about Ayurveda, so, because that’s the main reason I wanted him on the show today. So without further ado, I am going to bring him on and welcome you, Jonathan, to Design your Life your Way. Oh, wait a minute, I muted you accidentally. I’m sorry, go ahead, say that again. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Happy to be here. Yeah, I, I, and it’s interesting, you know, I’ve been doing, I’ve been podcasting for over six years now and I never had anybody on the show to talk about this before. So you are the first and wonderful. Yeah, I’m, I’m, I’ve looked into this over the years because especially when I was dealing with my, my love hate relationship with my body over the years I’m where, where I would have a little bit too much weight on me than I would desire. And so I knew, exploring that a little bit. But I, I, I thought the way we could start the interview today would be to see if you can give our audience sort of a broad, broad overview of what Ayurveda is and then, and then also kind of what, what drew you to become a practitioner in it. What Is Ayurveda? An Ancient System for Modern Life Okay, sure, happy to. So yeah, I, Ayurveda is the system of medicine from the east, from India. And Veda means knowledge, I use, or Ayur means life. So it’s really the knowledge of life and it’s a very broad concept. But Ayurveda is an amazing system that really integrates diet, nutrition, herbs, medicine, lifestyle, yoga, mantras, astrology. You know, it really integrates so many things, all with the vision of supporting naturally, supporting based on laws of nature, based on cycles, based on personal qualities, both, you could say, challenging and gifts. And oftentimes our challenging qualities are those very things that become our gifts. So it’s a very comprehensive system. Ayurveda was actually the first known system of medicine, actually to include even surgery. So sometimes people think it’s just a diet or a body type system, but it’s a very amazing medicine form of medicine and healing. Ayurveda Honors Your Whole Person and Uniqueness But one thing that’s unique about it is that it really starts from the very beginning to acknowledge the whole person and the importance of really acknowledging the uniqueness of each person, their own individual nature and limitations. And even the limitations are honored as, as, as gifts that can become strengths. So. And it’s, it aligns with sort of the deeper essence of a person and, and even the, what I would, would call the goals of life. The goals of what almost all human beings, or you could say all human beings are really striving for in one way or another in this life. So it’s, it goes very well with the yoga system too. The yoga system is all about connecting body, mind and spirit. So it’s a form of medicine that is very harmonious with that reality as well, as opposed to some types of medicine. And I’m not at all trashing Western medicine because there’s a, there’s a use for it at times, but it doesn’t tend to acknowledge as much the whole person where Ayurveda is very focused on the whole person and the deeper aspects of a person and their inner vision and goals and desires in life. The Mind-Body Connection and Chronic Disease Yeah, I think, I think that’s so important. And, and I agree with you, Western medicine is really great at even fixing specific problems, let’s say, you know, especially if you, you know, if you break a leg, you know, really great at that. But so many of the things. And I think, I think they are starting to become more aware of this mind body connection and how important it is that. I mean, because you read anywhere, it’s like a lot of these chronic diseases that people have, it stems from stress and that’s a. You know, usually, I mean, yes, your body can be stressed, but it’s also because of probably either outer or even inner things that we’re not dealing with. So, so how did you then get interested? And then we’re going to get back. I want to talk about those five goals that. Sure. Or the goals you were talking about. Jonathan’s Journey: From Allergies to Ayurvedic Healing But how did you get in briefly? I, I was, I think it started out very young. I was. Had horrible allergies as a kid and I was hospitalized twice as an infant, you know, an oxygen tense, not being able to breathe. And so I struggled with allergies a lot throughout my life and, and that would lead often to bronchial infections probably the first 18 years of my life. I was on antibiotics twice a year. And I was also an athlete. And at some point sometime in high school, I read the famous book Be Here now with a friend of mine up at summer camp. And that whole summer we committed to meditation, even though we were Just teenagers, we had the freedom to do that. How Meditation Transformed Performance and Anxiety We explored it. And I realized very quickly that, wow, when I change my internal physiology, not only am I less anxious, more clear, but I could also play sports better. I could play soccer better, I could play hockey better, play baseball, which was way very important to me at the time. And I was less anxious with people socially, you know, so that was really important. But I also began to recognize something deeper inside, like, wow, there’s a whole universe inside me that I really had no idea existed. The Life-Changing Power of Diet: Giving Up Dairy And around simultaneously, around that time, I went to a health food store near the college that I was living in and played soccer. And I was struggling with some lung issues still. And the guy gave me a book called Back to Eden, which is a old naturopathy book, and you could look up symptoms and would give you remedies. And for me, it said, you know, give up dairy 100%. So I did that, and my whole life changed. Now, I’m not saying dairy is bad for everybody, but for me, it was. It was pretty. I was very sensitive to it, and it created a lot of mucus and phlegm, and I had no idea. And it was one of those things where I was practicing meditation. And then I realized that diet had an impact, a very significant impact. And really my whole life changed because all of a sudden my breathing got better. I wasn’t coughing all the time on the soccer field. And so somewhere inside myself, I was like, wow, this is really meaningful. And I became very interested in it. So I became kind of voracious about reading different books and then went on to. Ended up going to India and studying some in India. And I got into acupuncture and got into the whole holistic arena. You know, naturopathy, Ayurveda, and acupuncture, my main areas of focus. Yeah, love it. Love it. My Experience with Alternative Healing: Beyond Pills Yeah, they’re all. I’ve. I’ve experienced acupuncture a little bit and in my life and. And it definitely. It helped for. I don’t even remember why I went for a while, but I know it definitely helped my symptoms at the time. So, yeah, it’s. There’s so much out there that. Different ways to be able to help help you that, you know, rather than relying on a pill, I, I. My mom, God rest her soul, was on so many different medications when. When I was younger and, and, you know, and even up and into her 60s and, and I, you know, and then 70s and. And she passed at 78. And I. Seeing that was something that really stuck with me that I was like, I don’t want to be that way. I want to figure out how I can take care of myself and not have to rely on medication. And so, so far, so good. I’ve been able to do that. And I’m in my early 60s now, and. And the doctors are always surprised when I say, so what medications are you on? I’m like, none of. That’s fantastic. Yeah, no, that’s fantastic. And that’s. I have the same experience. We don’t really have your records. We don’t see any medications that you’re on. Like. Well, not on any. Yeah, exactly. The Five Goals of Life: Ancient Wisdom for Midlife Women So I would love to have you talk a little bit more about. You mentioned these goals, and I’m wondering if how they work into, and particularly say, empowering women over 50, like. Like to. To be able to, you know, design a life that is going to be empowering for them and. And is going to help them, you know, moving forward and. And continuing to be. To live a long, long time and in a healthy mind, body, spirit way. Great. So, yeah, I’ll talk about the five goals, and I’ll weave that in. And so basically, the idea is that all human beings have five primary goals of life. This is according to Ayurveda and Ayurveda. It’s a beautiful map. You know, some. It’s a beautiful map of a lens through which, you know, we can see life and also trigger some thoughts of our own. And it’s really common sense. It’s nothing that, you know, those fancy Sanskrit words which have some deep meanings, but it’s also common sense, you know, so the first one is, is Dharma. And dharma is sort of your. Relates to your life purpose. And it also means the quality in us that’s inherent. Goal #1: Dharma (Living Your True Purpose) So the Dharma, for example, of fire is heat and light, which means you can’t separate heat and light from fire. Or the dharma of water is liquidity. You can’t separate liquidity from water itself. Now, you can freeze it or you can heat it and steam it, but that’s considered an unnatural state. The natural state of water is liquid. So we all have. The idea in Ayurveda is that we all have our internal nature. And so it’s understood that one of the goals of the human being is to live from our nature, our true nature, and internally and externally. That may mean, you know, your dharma and work can be a certain thing. Like right now you’re doing these beautiful podcasts, so you could say, that’s your dharma. You know, it gives you great Satisfaction, it’s very natural for you. It’s a gift. So that’s what you’re doing. So you’re fulfilling that aspect of your dharma. Goal #2: Artha (Economic Security and Shelter) And then artha means economic security. So we all have different degrees of economic needs. So it means every. Every human being, whether they’re satisfied with the, you know, a tin roof on the side of a beach or the side of a highway, you know, or which is common, or a mansion. But we all. We all have that need for shelter, for food, for water, for clothing, for having our basic needs met. Goal #3: Kama (Pleasure Aligned with Purpose) And kama is a fourth goal means pleasure. So it’s described that all creatures in the universe, including humans, we all want pleasure. We all want happiness. And so again, it can be, you know, we can satisfy ourselves in so many ways. But it’s understood that a healthy pleasure is meant to be in alignment with your dharma. So this is a, you know, how can I. And one analogy is, you know, if you are a mother or a father and you have a family, so the dharma would be to enjoy within that context. Now, I’m not making any social judgments, but if somebody is going outside of the marriage, not telling their partner, that would be called adharmic against dharma because it’s going to cause some kind of internal strife and struggle and conflict. And it will just cause disturbance, you know, unless it’s an open communication thing. But. Right. You know, but in generally speaking, it’s. It will cause some inner disturbance. So that would be a dharmic against Dharma. Goal #4: Moksha (Freedom on All Levels) And then the last one, or the fourth one is called moksha. Moksha means freedom. So the idea is that all beings want freedom, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional freedom, social freedom. You know, there’s some countries that are more oppressed than others, but ultimately it indicates spiritual freedom. So really feeling connected to your true self, being authentic, and then even realizing in the yoga system what’s called the. The atma, or the deeper self, the inner self, and also our relationship with the universe. Goal #5: Prema (Love and Connection) So this is called moksha. And the fifth goal is prema, which means love, that all living beings are looking for love. And, you know, whether it’s a dog or a cow or a human, everyone’s looking for affection in this world. And you know that song, looking for love in all the wrong places? So, yeah, sometimes we look for love in the wrong places or places that aren’t so great. But it doesn’t take away from the fact that, you know, even a gang member that’s causing harm to others, on some level, they’re looking for love. Maybe it’s the, you know, they’re looking for that approval within the group so it can come out in negative ways. But ultimately we’re all looking for that. So those five goals are there. The Natural Shift for Women Over 50: From Caretaking to Self-Focus And when I think of, you know, women that are going through the different cycles of life and, you know, many women go through many different stages and have different dharmas in this life. Some women have children, some women don’t. Some women have family. Some women, you know, are a mother and they have a job. So there’s many different varieties. How Hormones Shape a Woman’s Caregiving Instinct But typically it’s interesting from an Ayurvedic perspective and from a western medicine or Western scientific perspective, it’s understood that the hormones that a woman experiences prior to, you know, 45, 50 years old typically encourage the woman’s physiology to encourage being, caring for others. It’s a, it’s a natural thing. Just like a mother instinctively knows how to take care of the children, you know, she instinctively knows how to breastfeed. She instinctively has a caring attitude. And sometimes what happens is that, I mean, that’s, that’s biological. It’s, it’s necessary for their survival. I mean, if a mother looked at a baby and said, oh, you know, it can, it can eat, tomorrow I’m going on vacation, you know, that’s not going to work very well, right? So, you know, we’re wired. We are wired. That’s part of a mother’s dharma when she has a child, is to nurture and take care of the child. Now, yes, there can be stress and challenges with all that, especially these days when, you know, we see oftentimes a mother who has a full time job and she’s taking care of the children, and even more so if a single mother, who might even be even more stressed because of that. The Change in Doshas: A Natural Biological Shift After 50 But as a woman gets a little bit older, there’s a natural change in cycle. We call that the change in doshas or the change in elemental nature of a person. It happens for men to some degree too, but sometimes with women, they become less focused on others and more focused on themselves. And this is a natural thing. And really it should be in one sense celebrated and honored and respected. And because it’s a phase of life, okay, even timeline wise, generally the children are older. Either they’re self sufficient or they’re in the process of that, or they’re much more independent. So that now it’s time for a woman to start focusing on the other dharmas of her life, the other gifts that she has, the other interests that she has. And for many women there’s so many sacrifices that may have been made around take, you know, personal self care, exercise, yoga, diet, you know, so much that has been other oriented. And there’s a natural shift toward the self. It’s Not Selfish—It’s a Sacred Phase of Life And in a society that doesn’t acknowledge those natural cycles, sometimes that can be seen as being selfish, but it’s, it’s not selfish. I mean, I guess it can manifest as selfish. If a woman doesn’t understand that, that it’s normal, natural and healthy, she might even think I’m being selfish. What’s wrong with me? I don’t feel the same way I used to. Yeah. So it’s really good to get that confusion out of the way and know that actually it’s a gift that at this phase in my life it doesn’t mean I can’t still love my children or love my partner or love my family or love my parents or whatever. It just means you’re going to love in a little bit different way. It’s going to be more like I’m going to check in with myself first. Do I need to do this? Because so much in the early years it’s, I need to do this. It’s a have to. Yeah, my darn. I have no choice. Yeah. You know, it feels like no choice, but at this point there’s, there’s choice. Embracing Choice: What Do You Really Want Now? Yeah. And it’s a beautiful moment really to acknowledge, wow, I have choice here. And it’s really important and it’s an important phase because to mindfully approach that change in phase of life is really beautiful because if you, you know, whether you write about it or meditate about it, or when you’re going for a walk or a jog, start letting yourself think, what are some new things I’d like to do? And it is a bit in, a bit of a change in identity. So that’s sometimes women, and I say women and I, you know, it can be there for men too in different ways. But I would say in some ways more for women because again, this is a generalization, but there is that caretaking necessity that tends to be there more earlier in life when a woman can start to acknowledge that, oh this I’m entering a different phase of life, I actually have a little more space and time. How do I want to use it? How do I, you know, what are some things that would really give me satisfaction in this phase of my life? So it’s really important to acknowledge it, acknowledge that it’s normal and natural and healthy. And again, it’s not about necessarily pulling back from those you love. Navigating Relationship Changes During Midlife Transition In your life. But it may mean changing some relationships, and sometimes couples go through strain at that time because all of a sudden, say, the partner’s like, wow, it used to be, you know, focused on me all the time. What happened? You know, so that would mean some conversations, honest conversations about this transition. Yeah. So that’s. That’s kind of how I think about it, how the acknowledging those goals and how those goals can change or how they. How they manifest can change throughout our life. Reclaiming Freedom While Caring for Aging Parents Yeah, I love that. And. And I think it’s also important for folks to realize, you know, is that it’s. This is an opportunity where you really have some more freedom, this freedom to choose what you want to do. And I also think it really requires now a level of enrolling people in what you want to do now. Because I feel that as much as it is great that, you know, you get to this point in life and when you have kids that, you know, hopefully have become independent and then are living their own lives at the same time, there’s also where we have a lot of now, parents are having to care for their own parents. The Sandwich Generation: Asking for Help And so now we’ve got this. Just when you think that it’s time for you to start focusing in on yourself, maybe you can’t, because you’re going to be dealing with that. So that’s where, you know, I think you need to start saying, I’m not going to shoulder this burden all by myself anymore. I need some help. And I think it’s so important for us to remember to ask for help. You know, men and women, you don’t have to do everything on your own. There are resources out there, and I think that’s so important. What do you say. Yeah. About this? And especially. And also in going over these goals, I imagine that sometimes things can be out of whack. And so in one area, maybe that’s out of balance. And what do you think about that? And how can people maybe be mindful of that? Being Mindful Instead of Reactive with Aging Parents Yeah, well, the first point you made is really true. I mean, I certainly saw it with my wife where, you know, the kids were getting older, and then she was caretaking her mother. And there’s something. It’s. It’s. And again, because it’s kind of funny in a strange. In a way where just when you’re coming out of this even biological phase of, you know, so focused on caretaking. Yeah. And then you do have to. You don’t have to. But, you know, many people will choose to be present for a parent, you know, but from that perspective, But I think the challenge there is to like you said, enroll support and to really be mindful and thoughtful about how can I give my parents support in a way that they need, but not coming from it as much as we may have in the past from a knee jerk reaction of automatic I’m just going to do it no matter what. Like how can I offer support, how can I be present and also be cultivating my own life to some degree and fulfill. You know, it’s really important to acknowledge I’m not in the same phase as I used to be as just sort of knee jerk reaction of I’m just there no matter what. Yeah. You know, and, and to really be mindful about that. It’s a, it’s a stage of. There’s a stage before you really enter into that stage of being mindful, using your common sense, using your intelligence, using your intuition, connecting to yourself enough to know what you know, how you want the next few years to be and what kinds of things you want to focus on. So that’s, that is really important because the parents, you know, they can become like kids at that point. So, so that, that’s, that’s number one. Understanding Your Doshas: Working With Your Fault Tendencies And so yeah, in terms of the goals of life, I think part of it is to, in Ayurveda, so much of it is about healthy periodic introspection and re evaluating what is, what are my gifts, what are my challenges. Even in Ayurveda, the word dosha, which most people think of body type. Right. You know, based on the five elements of how many elements? The combination of the five elements in a person. But what it really means is fault tendency, which is kind of interesting. It’s like how do we individually go out of balance? Your Limitations Aren’t Flaws—They’re Patterns to Understand What is my individual version of going out of balance? And when we acknowledge our limitations, it can be really, really helpful because if we’re honest with ourselves about I tend to, you know, get anxious in that situation or I tend to, you know, want to drink or I tend to, you want to escape or whatever it may be. I tend to get irritable when blood, you know, whatever might happens. Rather than thinking, oh I wish I wasn’t like that. I wish I was like, you know my friend Jane who’s always so cool headed, you know, it’s better just to kind of acknowledge that from an Ayurvedic perspective. Better to acknowledge it, that’s a limit. And then work with it, you know, then, then by acknowledging being honest and just knowing that’s my tendency, that’s my, that’s where I tend to go out of balance, then I can work with it honestly, without self judgment. Because it’s not about judging ourselves, it’s really about getting to know ourselves and accept the fact that yeah, we all, I mean, that’s one of the things that’s beautiful about Ayurveda is that it starts with, you’re a beautiful, perfect, divine being, but you have these doshas, you have these fault tendencies that are there. The Fire Analogy: Managing Your Temperature So it’s a nice combination of yeah, on some level I’m perfect, but on another level I have these ways that I tend to go out of balance. So let me acknowledge those things. Just like fire can be wonderful, but it can also burn down a house. It can cook a great pot of soup or the fire can go out, you know, so you want, you want to kindle that fire at the right temperature as much as possible. But maybe sometimes it gets too hot too quickly. So, okay, let me learn how to keep the temperature down rather than I escalate to a 10 and then I’m out of control. Oh, I’m noticing I’m at a 2 or 3. I’m starting to escalate. Yeah. And if you get to know yourself, you just know, okay, I tend to do that. Let me chill out a little bit, let me go out for a walk, let me drink some cold water, whatever it may be, so that I can chill out. That’s, you know, that’s just a simple example. The Power of Introspection: Getting to Know Yourself So I think one is allowing ourselves to be a little bit introspective. Time to time doesn’t mean all the time, but you know, whether it’s once a week or when you’re, you know, have some kind of meditation practice or, or an Ayurveda is called internal practice or internal exercise where you take some time. It can be meditation, it could be journaling, it could be just going for a walk and letting yourself consciously think about, you know, the things in your life that are working, the things that aren’t working so well. You know, what are the qualities in me that are, that I really, you know, love? What are the qualities in me that I find challenging? And then be honest with it and keep working with it and find resources and support if necessary and not feel bad about that, you know, that’s. Yeah, we want to get to a point where we actually feel good about it because we’re, we’re growing and we’re working and we’re healing and we’re learning and that can be actually quite exciting if there’s a healthy level of self acceptance. And that’s one of the things about Ayurveda, which is it, it includes that self acceptance. Even though it’s funny, it uses strong words like, yes, this person becomes deranged in this certain way, you know, but at the same time, you’re perfect, you’re perfect. So, so yeah, we all get deranged in our own unique ways. And better to acknowledge that. And then, you know, then it, we can become deranged. Finding Balance: Money, Beliefs, and Fulfilling Your Needs For example, with, you know, economic development. I mean, some people, you know, they struggle with not enough. And it may be, they may have, you know, maybe conditions that are there, but sometimes we have to work with belief systems that we may have or maybe our parents didn’t have enough. And there’s an unconscious thing that tells us we can’t go beyond that. That’s a possibility. And some people have so, so much and they always want more, more, more, more, more, as if there’s no, they need so much more. The Ayurvedic Approach to Wealth: Enough, But Not Distraction From an Ayurvedic perspective, it said, ideally, have enough to fulfill your needs, but not so much that you become distracted. And also, and also have enough. And don’t think that having less than is better too because I mean, I do know some people on a spiritual path who are struggling financially so much that even though they’re doing it because they want to become detached from material things, they end up being an anxiety about paying their bills. So that’s not very good for meditation either. So, you know, having that balance of having enough but not overly striving for more, more, more, because that more memora can cause one to go off of their fulfilling their dharma also, you know. Heart-Centered Practitioners: Charging What You’re Worth Yeah, yeah. And I can definitely relate to talking about other, like the money issue with especially wonderful heart centered spiritual practitioners in particular because they want to give so much. But we forget that we also need to be able to take care of our own needs. And, and people will value you more if you do take care of your needs. And that means, you know, charging appropriately, for instance, for, for your services and not just feeling that you have to give everything away because that creates its own imbalance. So yeah, I’m glad, I’m glad that you, you brought that up. It’s so important. Designing Your Life at 65: What Would You Change? You know, if you were, if you were going to actually design your life your way today, what, if anything, would you change or would you myself at this point? Yeah, for yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m going through some big changes right now actually, and I’ve had some big openings happen up, happen for me. And so at this point I’m I’m 65 and which, by the way, is not that old. And. But, you know, for me now, it’s kind of like, okay, at this phase in my life, I’m really, you know, my. My family role is less. I mean, I’m still very connected to my boys, but, you know, they’re. I still help them, I still listen to them, I still talk to them regularly and offer support, but it’s a little bit more like, okay, what is it? Following Your Heart’s Desires in Later Life What are those desires and ambitions and hopes and dreams that I’ve really had inside my heart my entire life? And, you know, how do I want to, you know, relate with others? But, you know, in my work itself, and I do a lot of teaching, and so I’m in a phase of expanding my teaching and more traveling, leading courses and things that I’ve wanted to really expand over the years that I haven’t had as much time to really focus on because I’ve been very involved in the family. So I’m really. That’s what I’m doing now. And. And I’m. I’m giving myself the freedom and the permission to do that. And I’m. And I’m thinking about it and I’m acknowledging internally what those desires, what those visions that I’ve had for a long time. I’m letting myself kind of say to myself, where before, it’s kind of like, yeah, yeah, I. I want that, but I have to do this, this and this. Right now, it’s a little bit more like, yeah, no, this is really what I’m going to be focusing on. This last, you know, phase of life, you know, however many years it is, whether it’s 10 years or whether it’s 40 years, you know. Exactly. Yeah. I love that. What Are You Curious About Right Now? So one other thing I’d love to be able to ask my guests is what are you curious about right now? What am I curious about? So interesting. Well, I mean, the first thing that comes to me, I’m curious about what’s next because I. There’s so much happening right now and so many unknowns, and I am just in a place of. It’s like one. Waiting for the next natural event to occur, and they are occurring to see where life leads. It’s. It’s a very. Actually very, I would say, quite exciting time because there’s so many new things happening. And, you know, I have my. My vision and my. In my dreams, and I’m just waiting, wait. Taking actions, but also waiting to see how life creates opportunities for those things to occur. And. And they Are so. Yeah, so I’m very, I’m very curious in general also about, you know, human and spiritual development and that’s something that has been always been very important to me and I’ve been doing a lot more teaching in that area and I feel like I’m going to be stepping into that territory more and more, you know, in an, in an authentic way because I’ve lived, I’ve lived it. I’m not proclaiming I’m an expert, you know, without. I’m not proclaiming I’m an expert anyway. But you know, I put in a lot of time in one sense I’ve been on this path for, since my early 20s and I feel like now is the time to not, not hold back, not be shy about what it is I’m here to share. Midlife as an Opportunity for Exploration So I love that. Yeah, yeah, it’s. I think that’s the, that’s the interesting thing about where we are I guess even in hard generation is, you know, different from previous generations where you know, 65 was the typical retirement age and things like that. And I think now it’s for so many. I think it’s an opportunity to really explore and see what do I want to do next. You know, and it could be even, you know, maybe you continue working or maybe it’s working in some, something different or exploring some, some. Yeah, some old passion maybe that you had that you weren’t able to do before when family, you know, obligations and, and, and enjoyment happen because yeah, there’s a lot of that as well. It’s not just an obligation. I mean it’s a, it’s a, it was, you know, something hopefully you chose to do and you enjoy it. Absolutely. Getting Started with Ayurveda: First Steps for Women Over 50 One last thing I want to ask you about before I also invite you to share where people can learn more about you. But if someone is interested now in the exploring ayurvedic, what would be like the first step? What would you recommend someone do if they’re, they want to learn a little bit more about this or yeah, go down that path. What would you say to them? Finding an Ayurvedic Practitioner and Resources Yeah, I mean there’s gosh, there’s, I mean if, if one wanted to explore it personally and probably the best way is to find a practitioner who works with it and have a one on one interview and find out if it’s something or you know, it’s always good to find out if the person you’re might be working with you resonate with and if you have particular identify what goals you have or why you would want to explore that. But There’s a lot of great Ayurvedic books and of course there’s so much online now about Ayurveda. And I’ll do a little pitch for my book, the Total Life Cleanse, which has a lot of Ayurveda in it. So yeah, I would say do some reading about it. I mean that’s how I started. I just became a voracious reader about Ayurveda and then I ended up studying it. So yeah, read, read some information about it, go to some talks, get some podcasts about Ayurveda and then if you want to take it further, it’s great to have a practitioner that you can work with and they can help hone, hone your identify what are some, you know, ways that you can eat better, live better, exercise better, more designed for your, for your body type. Supporting Your Glands and Hormones After 50 One of the things I will just say that I, that I wanted to mention just as a tip for women going into their know, 50s, 60s that supporting the glands of the body is really important because as the hormones production decreases, it puts more burden on the, the kidneys and the thyroid and the, all the different glands of the body and nourishing the body with reasonably healthy food. Adaptogens: Herbs That Support Your Adrenals And there’s some wonderful Ayurvedic Chinese, Western herbs that are very supportive to the adrenal glands. We call them adaptogens, which are just help the adrenals become stronger, secrete hormones more efficiently so that the burden, so that if the adrenals are tired and we’ve been pushing for many years, then the hormonal situation tends to decline more as a woman gets older, especially women because, you know, there so much involvement with different hormones throughout life. Nourishing Your Nervous System for the Next 50 Years So it’s really important to support the nervous system, the glandular system of the body. And there’s different ways to do that. So you know, whether you do your own research. But again, it’s always good to work with somebody who can tune into how to really support on that way so that the next number of years rather than go into fatigue and feeling depleted in many ways, which can happen especially these days, to really nourish yourself with healthy diet, healthy healthy herbs and some healthy lifestyle practices, whether it’s meditation or yoga or Tai chi or different, you know, swimming, something that’s really good for the nervous system to carry us forward in the next, you know, 50 years. I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, I think that is so important and, and that is, I think the, the key is to be able to, you know, taking care of ourselves doesn’t have to be that complicated. Eating Real Food: Simple Nutrition for Midlife Health There’s so many, you know, that, you know, you do any kind of reading on the Internet or whatever, and it’s just, you know, oh, this diet and that diet. And, you know, it’s like, it’s just overcomplicated. If you just go back to healthy food, you know, which is basically what, real food, not the packaged, processed stuff, but, you know, fruits and vegetables. Go to your local farmer’s market. Go find a good. If you’re into meat, find a good butcher, you know, but there’s. There’s ways that you can eat healthy, and it’s going to help you out a lot. And. But I like the idea of looking into herbs and other. Herbs Are Food: Understanding Potent Natural Remedies Other things, so I haven’t. I haven’t done that, so I might have to consider that myself. Most people think of herbs. Herbs are food, you know, they’re just another type of food. And they have. They just have potent properties, different directions. Yeah. And if you find the right, you know, herbal remedies that go along with a good diet. Yeah. And we’re not talking perfection, but I mean, understanding, like you said, that eating whole foods makes a huge difference, and removing the junk food and removing too much sugar and alcohol, things like that, you know, we can get away with stuff when we’re younger, but as we get older, the body just generally speaking, doesn’t tolerate it as well. Listening to Your Body’s Feedback Oh, absolutely. And I know I. I know for me, when I do, you know, have occasionally, like, indulged a little bit too much, my body lets me know right away, knock it off. Right. And I start. I, you know, have pain, and it’s like, knock it off. So it’s like, okay, I’m sorry, body, I’m sorry. Yes, I will treat you better now, starting right now. And it’s important to. This is like, to acknowledge that that’s true. I mean, sometimes people have a hard time. Well, I don’t think it had anything to do with what I was eating the last week. Well, it probably did, you know, so the more we can kind of go, okay, and be tuned into. I was feeling really good on Tuesday, on Wednesday, ate like crap, and Thursday and Friday, I felt like crap. Okay, maybe there’s a connection. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. It’s amazing. Oh, you know, it’s basic, but you’re right, it is. A lot of it is common sense. It’s not complicated. Yeah, it’s not complicated. It doesn’t have to be complicated. That’s true. Absolutely. Connect with Jonathan Glass All right, well, if someone would like to learn more about you and because I think you did mention you’ve got courses and things like that where, where can people go? Yeah. So probably the best way is my website, healingessencecenter.com and email healingessence c-t-r at gmail.com healing essence and CTR, short for Center Gmail is a good way to connect. We have under the events tab, we have some cleanses that are coming up. We’re going to India in March. I’m teaching some energy healing, so that’s all there. And or if you want to do an individual consultation, I work with people all over the country, so that would be fine too. All right, excellent. Well, thank you so much for being with us today. I really appreciate it and I know I’ve learned a lot and I’m sure our audience did, too. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. Thank you. Yes. And thank you for joining us today. And yeah, I look forward to speaking with you again soon.

When things you once took for granted undergo a radical shift, it’s normal to wonder if you’ll ever feel passionate about life after 50 again. The good news is that you can rediscover your passion and purpose, and this show explains how. Women over 50 can get knocked sideways by major life transitions and/or the feeling that “there must be something more to life.” Today, I share my own raw journey following the death of my sister and my unfulfilling marriage that caused me to lose sight of my business direction – only to discover that the confusion itself was leading me to a new purpose. You’ll hear why it’s OK not to have the answers right now, how to trust the messy middle of transformation, and what actually helps when you’re trying to redesign your life from the ground up. Plus, you’ll receive a light language transmission to support your own journey of rediscovery. You’ll discover: Why major midlife transitions can strip away your old sense of purpose, and why that’s actually the beginning of something deeper, not the end The different ways grief can affect you and why giving yourself permission to feel all of the attending emotions is essential Simple practices and resources that helped me navigate my darkest moments Why “surrender and trust” became the two most powerful themes in my healing and how letting go of needing to know opened the door to clarity I couldn’t have forced How speaking about spirituality and the L.O.V.E. Method (even when it felt scary and off-brand) unlocked my true purpose and made my feel light again The gift of a Light Language transmission designed specifically for women who are in the thick of transition and need support reconnecting with their inner wisdom Remember: It’s okay not to know. The answers will come. You will find your passion again. Don’t give up on you. I’m not giving up on you either. Resources & links mentioned: Daily Word magazine by Unity: https://www.unity.org/en/daily-word/mag Bob Sima’s song: “I Don’t Know (And That’s Alright)” Good Grief Women’s Retreat – June 25-29, 2026 in Black Mountain, NC (Early bird ends Jan. 31): goodgriefretreat.net Explore 1:1 coaching and other ways to work with Gloria Grace: gloriarand.com/offerings Take the Personal Power Archetype Quiz to discover your unique strengths as a midlife entrepreneur: bit.ly/PersonalPowerQuiz Book a private Light Language session to clear energetic blocks and reconnect with your divine nature: gloriarand.com/light-language-healing Design Your Life, Your Way – next steps: If this episode spoke to you, leave us a review. Follow/subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this with a friend who’s navigating transition, reinvention, or a fresh start after 50. Connect with me on LinkedIn @GloriaGraceRand to continue the conversation about midlife, meaning, and living on purpose. TRANSCRIPT You know, midlife isn’t for sissies. You know, it’s just one thing after another. Menopause, your kids leave home, you start really losing people close to you. You know, family members die, maybe good friend relationships go through changes. You know, maybe you’re, you’ve been married for a long time and maybe you’re realizing that you’re not quite in alignment anymore. And any of these things, or all of them, but certainly even any one of them can cause you to rethink where you are in life. And the things that you are passionate about may not quite hold that same grip on your heart anymore. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today because that was certainly the case for me. Navigating Common Midlife Transitions for Women Over 50 You know, actually menopause was relatively okay for me. That wasn’t a major thing. Kids leaving home. I was very blessed in that. Well, when my daughter went off to college, I was glad to see her go. I loved her, but it was time for her to step on, get out of, get on her own a bit and, and, and, you know, live away from home for a little bit. And so it’s, we have a much better relationship now that she’s older. But I was going through some challenges with my relationship with my, with my spouse, but wasn’t really serious about doing, doing anything about it. And all this time I was attempting to grow my business. I was doing copywriting, online marketing for small businesses. And then my sister died. And that really shook my world in so many ways that I was not prepared for. How Grief Changes Everything: Losing My Sister I think the, the, one of the biggest reasons is because she was that last link to my, what’s the phrase? Nuclear family that, that I grew up with because both my parents had, had passed. I had an older brother and he died long time ago back when I was in college, as a matter of fact. So it was for, let’s see, my mom passed in 2003. So for 12 years it was just me and my sister, you know, and she was 10 years older than me, but still not that old when she passed. She was just shy of turning 65, getting, you know, we’d filled out the Medicare forms and she was getting ready to go on to med Medicare. And then she went and passed from cancer. So when that happened, my world just imploded. Yeah, I think that’s the best way to say it. My world imploded. You know, I, I, yes, I had two wonderful adult children. I had, I had a husband who was doing his best to be supportive, and yet I didn’t know what to do with myself. The business that I was running didn’t have the same appeal anymore. When Grief Affects Your Business and Health I had. In the year prior to my sister passing, I had released a lot of weight. I. I was. I think I’d released about 50 pounds. And when she passed, I gave myself permission to eat again. To eat too much. Not just eat healthy food, but. No, eat all the junk food that I’d given up. And so I wound up putting all those pounds back on. Well, not good. You know, when you’re, when you’re, when you reach a certain age and you have too much weight on your body, then body parts start hurting. And I remember actually in that first year after my sister passed, my back, I had major issues with my back. I’ve. Off and on over the years, I’ve had back problems. And so I would go to a chiropractor, would kind of get out. I’d get out of alignment, and I’d go to a chiropractor and they straighten me back up. And so I, I did that, but it still wasn’t working. And so I actually worked with another. Another woman who was a. I forget what she’s called. She was like a medical massage therapist or something like that anyway, but she. So she helped me, you know, get. Get the pain reduced and eventually, you know, felt better again. So. Yeah, so I’m, you know, I’m… Emotional Eating and Self-Care After Loss I’m eating my grief, which is not healthy for you at all. I’m grieving, which is not great, you know, because you, when you’re grieving, you don’t want to do stuff. You know, it’s, it’s. I wasn’t doing the things in my business to grow it that I had been doing. You know, I was someone who would do at least one blog article every week. I was writing and posting on my website. I was even doing infographics, like, once a week. So I was. So really, I was like, posting on my blog twice a week. I was sending out a weekly email to my list and, you know, doing all the other things that you do when you’re growing a business, you know, being active on social media, things like that. Well, again, when you’re grieving, it’s hard to keep that stuff up, even though you try. And I just, I, I stopped. I wasn’t, I wasn’t emailing very often. I definitely stopped blogging. I wasn’t doing that every week. Maybe, maybe once a month if I was lucky. I’d have to go back in and look, look at my analytics and see what I was doing. When You Stop Showing Up: Grief and Business Isolation So I. Yeah, it’s. It’s. It’s just not great. And I was also. I wasn’t even showing up like, you know, I use again. I was, you know, growing your business. You go to networking meetings. And so I would go. You know, I had been. I was part of a group and that would have regular networking meetings. And I know that I was not showing up very much at those. And because, frankly, I. I was really confused about what I wanted to do with my business. Do I want to keep doing copywriting? I don’t know. Or. And then I was working some coaches at the time, and they were like, well, maybe you should pick a different niche. And so I tried focusing in, on, I think, green businesses and. And things, but it still wasn’t. My heart wasn’t in it. My heart wasn’t in it. The “Is This All There Is?” Question Women Face at Midlife And especially because the. Here’s the other thing, too. It was that. And I know this happens a lot with. With people when you get into midlife, you start really questioning, is this all there is? And you start maybe thinking, I want to do something more with my life. I. I feel like there’s something more significant. And I definitely felt that because two months before my sister passed, I was meditating, as I had been doing for a very long time at that point, regular meditation practice. A Divine Message: Being Called to Write About Love And this idea came into my head that said, you need to write a book about love. And I thought, that’s crazy. What do I know about love? I do marketing. It’s like, what the heck? Where is this coming from? Well, you could say it came from God. It came from source, came from my higher self, whatever it was. But it was something that I definitely did need to do. So again, now I’m grieving and I’m. I have this idea about that I need to write a book. And so that’s part of this. I feel like there’s something more that I need to be doing, something more significant. So what do we do when that happens? Well, I tell you what. What I did was searched for answers, started working with different coaches and therapists. Finding Support: Alternative Healing Modalities for Grief and Purpose I went to grief counseling. I went to regular counseling. I went to. I. I did alternative healing modalities. Like, I went to someone who practiced theta healing and someone who specialized in working with your chakras. And. And then I went to a coach to help me with my business, who then wound up helping me more with my spiritual side, which was interesting. And all of those things helped for a little bit, but it was still rough going. It was still rough going And. And if you’re going through something similar right now, I do want to tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn’t seem like it when you’re in the throes of it, because I tell you, especially that first year now, each year after that got a little bit easier. But that first year, I really felt alone. I really, really felt alone. And it was very frustrating, frankly, to feel that way, because even though I’m an introverted person, I don’t. You’re Not Alone: Healing Through the First Year of Grief I like to be around people. But I also. I guess I felt. I wouldn’t say abandoned by God, but I just. I didn’t feel close to. To Source or, you know, the universe. And. And. And as I was going through this, you know, my. My spiritual beliefs were evolving anyway. I had been a member of Catholic Church and regular churchgoer, mostly because I like to sing, and I would sing in the choir and somewhere. And this was actually, I think, before my sister passed. I got really upset with our local parish priest and. And said, you know what? This is ridiculous. If I don’t believe in. In some of these spiritual tenants, why am I still going to church? And, you know, I felt like my mom had passed. It wasn’t like I owed it to her. So I said, you know what? Spiritual Evolution: Finding a New Path After Leaving the Church Forget it. I’m gonna figure this out on my own somewhere else or. Or find spiritual guidance elsewhere. And so I. I did. I went to Unity church for a while. And. And what was interesting about that was that was something that actually connected me with my mom because my mom used to subscribe to a magazine that Unity publishes called the Daily Word. And. And so I started subscribing to that. So again, there’s lots of different things that I was doing to help me figure out, you know, what is my purpose in life, what is. What am I passionate about now? So it took a while. And. And that’s my point, is that. Give Yourself Permission: Why Clarity Takes Time Don’t feel like you have to rush it. If you have had something significant happen in your life right now, just be with those feelings, be with it, and know that you’re okay. You’re human. You’re allowed to feel sad. You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to even have, you know, a pity party from time to time. It’s okay. And I would encourage you at the same time is to do some of the things that I’ve been talking about here, is to reach out to people, know that you don’t have to do this alone, that there are people out there who can support you. There are groups, there are individuals, there are coaches, there are therapists, there are spiritual mentors. Whether, you know, if you are someone who is religious, you can go talk to your minister or your priest if that is what feels good for you. Trust Your Timeline: The Healing Process Can’t Be Rushed Give yourself grace of time and allow yourself to have that time to figure it out and trust that you will. You will figure it out. It will come to you. And I know it can be really frustrating when you’re in the throes of it going. Well, maybe not, but for me, it was frustrating going, not knowing what to do, which direction to go in, and just feeling that there’s something more. There’s something more. I know I should be doing something more. So that’s natural. It’s. It’s part of life. It’s part of growing older. Well, I don’t like to say growing older. I always say it’s. It’s the result of having more years under your belt. Let’s. Let’s put it that way, because there’s such a connotation of being old that I don’t. I don’t like to call that. It’s probably because I’m a baby boomer. You know, we. We. We don’t like the idea of getting older, but I like the idea of living longer with a healthy mind, body, and spirit. So that’s. My goal is to. Is to do that. So where was I going with this? Okay. All right. You Will Figure It Out: Why Confusion Is Part of the Journey So, yes. Know that eventually you will figure it out, and it might feel really messy in the middle of it, when you’re feeling, you know, perhaps distressed and possibly even depressed, Know that you’re not alone, because that, That’s. That’s the thing, is that you’re never alone, even if you feel that way. And that was what I finally realized, was that I had never been alone. I did have source, the universe, looking out for me because I think that’s why it kept leading me to different people to work with and different modalities to try and different ways to be able to heal from this loss and to be able to start seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. The Turning Point: Speaking My Truth About Spirituality And, and the big. I would say the big turning point for me came when I was. I did start writing my book. And I was also working with a coach at the time who, who again, I had hired to help have him help me with my business. Well, he did it in a roundabout way, because what he did was encourage me to talk about the love method, which was what I was writing about in my book and in Talking about it, even though it was scary the first time I did, because this was something that was much more spiritual in nature. I had been known as someone who always talked about online marketing. You know, I was doing presentations about blogging, I was doing classes on how to use LinkedIn effectively. And now I was going to talk about letting go and letting God. That’s the L in love, opening your heart to receive. That’s the O. Valuing your uniqueness. That’s the. And embracing your divinity. That’s the E. I mean, embracing your divinity. I mean, when I first even that idea came to me, it was like, huh, what? Understanding the L.O.V.E. Method for Midlife Transformation But then as I was writing this book and talking about it, I’m realizing that, yeah, we are divine. We are spiritual beings living a human existence. And my mom always referred to, referred to me and, and, and always would say that we are, you know, we are a child of God, we are connected. And so that means we should embrace our divinity, our divine nature. Excuse me one second. Sorry about that. Had a cough. Maybe. Maybe it’s time for a sip of water as well. There we go. So starting to talk about that is really what I think became that switch to start to really unlock my purpose, my passion in life is that every time I started talking about that and I started talking about spirituality, I felt better. I really did. When Speaking Your Truth Lightens the Grief I started feeling lighter. The, this, that, that heaviness of grief started to come off my shoulders. And even though it still took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with my business, and I’m still have still just evolved again over this last last eight months or so, and, and the culmination of it is the rebranding of my podcast from Live Love Engage to design your life your way is. I, I, you know, I got clarity. And, and it wasn’t even that I didn’t have clarity before, because I did. I’ve gone back in and looked at things I was journaling about or notes I was taking and old elevator pitches that I had written or trying to write my bio and things like that. And I kept coming up with this, but I, it wasn’t. I didn’t feel confident in it. I didn’t feel confident in it. And I think that’s because three years ago or almost four years ago now, I also had another significant shift in my life. Another Midlife Transition: Navigating Divorce After 50 And that was when I decided to ask my husband for a divorce. And so we wound up separating. So another midlife change, and I had to deal with that. And so again, I found myself in the throes of confusion and losing my way, a little bit of my purpose and passion. So it’s okay. And I think that’s something else I want to point out is that, you know, as I mentioned at the beginning, you know, often it’s like one thing after another. You know, this happens, that happens. You know, another life change happens. And the one constant about life is change. I know they say death and taxes, but really it’s change. When Life Keeps Changing: How Your Higher Self Guides You Back That’s the one constant is that things change. Just when you feel like you’re. You’re going down, you know, a road and then boom, something happens and it can knock you off the path and you might go on a detour for a little while. But I do believe that our higher power, our higher self, or our greater self, as I heard somebody refer to it not too long ago, which I kind of like to always has our best interest in mind and will guide us back to the path. And it might be a new path, and that’s okay too. But it’s again, it’s comes back to. And this has been a. This was a theme of mine for the last couple of years when I was. I was journaling a lot. I actually signed up for like a journaling course of really connecting with your higher self to journal. Surrender and Trust: The Two Themes That Changed Everything And it was trust and surrender. Surrender and trust. Those are the two themes that kept coming up over and over again. And that’s what I want to encourage you to do when you’re going through these changes and things are happening in your life and you’re trying to figure out, okay, yeah, how do I design my life my way? How do I boldly live life in a way that is going to make me happy when I don’t know even what the heck that is right now? Let go and let God. Surrender to not knowing and just say, okay, I don’t know. I don’t know. Oh, there. I’ll come back to that thought. Stay there. But I want to finish this thought first before I jump around. And then trust, trust that the answers will come. It may be something pops into your head yourself, or maybe it’s the answers will come in the form of meeting someone, starting to work with someone who will help you and come up with those answers. When I was going to say little idea was popping in my head in the middle of surrender and trust was. “I Don’t Know and That’s All Right”: Finding Peace in Uncertainty There’s a wonderful singer songwriter by the name of Bob Saima, who I am fortunate to be able to actually know, meet in person because he lives in my area, but he tours all across the country and he writes wonderful inspirational songs. And one of the songs I have on one of his CDs goes, you know, I don’t know. And that’s all right. I love that song. I don’t know. And. And that’s all right. It’s okay not to know. The answers will come if you trust and surrender, because they do. And they may not come in the way you think they should or want, and they may take longer to come than you would like, because we’re impatient people, especially nowadays, it seems like we’ve just gotten more impatient. Impatient. As. As life goes on, It will happen. You will find your way again, and you will develop a passion again. You will find your passion. You will find your purpose. So don’t give up. Oh, my gosh. I just had. I love how my brain works. I just had. It was. And I know I had heard this recently. I think it was this song by David Soule that was popular in the 1970s because he was on Starski and Hutch at the time. He’s an actor, but he also had a song called don’t give up on us, baby. Don’t Give Up On You: A Message of Hope for Women in Transition So don’t give up on you. Okay. Don’t give up on you. I’m not giving up on you. And that’s why I’m going to be here doing these podcasts every week, whether it’s me or whether I’m interviewing a guest. And we’re going to help you to design your life your way, because it’s so good when you do. Oh, my gosh. I feel so much better now that I’ve gone through all these, and I know something else will happen down the road, and I’ll deal with that when it does. But for now, life is going pretty good, and I’m excited about this year, despite all the craziness that’s in the air. And, you know, I’m not going to go down that road, but I’m much more happy in my skin now, and I want to help you to get there, too. Light Language: A Sound Healing Gift for Your Journey So one thing I’m going to do along those lines to help you is share something that is part of my passion and purpose, and that is to share a light language message with you. And light language is this amazing sound healing modality. It’s also written, but for me, it’s a sound healing modality because it’s something that I’m able to. It’s a language that I speak, that I sing. I even use hand signals. And it’s something that is ultimately a language of love, and it’s something that you might not understand it, and that’s okay because it’s not for your mind to understand, it’s for your heart and your soul to understand. And when I do this with clients, I, I, I always set an intention that, and when I do it for myself, I always set an intention that whatever message comes through is going to be for my soul’s highest good and the highest good of all. And that’s what I’m setting an intention for you today. Especially if you are someone who is in the throws of feeling like you’ve lost your purpose and your passion and you’re not sure where to go. Now I’m going to set the intention that you find some clarity. How to Receive Your Light Language Transmission Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but let’s say this, this year, sometime, maybe hopefully sooner rather than later. So if you are listening to this podcast right now and you’re driving, I would encourage you to pause it and come back to this when you can be in a quiet place and be somewhere where you can just close your eyes and allow whatever comes through to touch your heart and to be for your soul’s highest good. So think of it as a meditation. So that’s, that’s what I’m going to do do. That’s why my, my intention is, is for you. So I am going to trust now that you have paused this and now you’re back. Welcome back. I’m glad you’re here. So I encourage you to just close your eyes, maybe take a deep breath in and out and just relax and, and set that intention for yourself that what you’ll hear today is for your soul’s highest good and whatever you need right now. Okay. (Audio only) Blessings. Oh, I love doing that. I hope it felt as good for you as it did for me because it was really lovely. And one last thing I want to, I want to share with you before we go today is that if you are going through something right now where you have, where you are grieving in particular, I encourage you to check out something that I’ve got happening in June that I am co facilitating with a wonderful dear, dear, dear soul sister of mine and, and two other also amazing women. It’s called the Good Grief Retreat. It’s a, it’s a retreat for women helping you to be able to release some of that, some of the grief that’s been going on. We’re going to do wonderful exercises and, and spirit walks and all sorts of different ways to be able to help you to heal. Good Grief Retreat: Healing for Women Over 50 And I’ll be sharing light language as Part of that, we’re also going to do a keening circle and, and in a few weeks, I’m going to actually have and have a one of our podcast episodes. I’m going to have the other three ladies on and we’re going to chat more about this. But I wanted to let you know about it right now because we’ve been offering a, an early bird special and that ends on January 31st. So you can actually save quite a bit of money on the retreat. It’s, it’s going to be from June 25th to the 29th, and if you go to good grief retreat.net you will be able to get all of the details there. I will have that in the show notes as well, but I’ll just pop it on here one more time so it’s good grief retreat.net and you’ll get all the information about it. And I would love to have you join us in North Carolina this June. So hope you’ll. Hope you’ll be there. And yeah, I think that’s gonna wrap it up for this week. Final Words: You Deserve a Great Life And I, I hope that some of my stories have helped help you to know that, number one, it’s normal in midlife to when things happen to go through this challenge now of feeling like I don’t know what my purpose is anymore, I don’t know what my passion is anymore. What I used to feel passionate about just isn’t have that same for me anymore. So know that that’s okay. It’s. It’s normal. And you will find it again. You will find it again. So until we meet again, go out today and make today great because you deserve, you deserve it. You deserve to have a great life and a great day and a great year. So do it. Go out there, be bold, be brave and make today great.

What happens when grief arrives uninvited? Not just from death, but from the quiet losses that reshape us after age 50. This conversation with author Laing Rikkers reveals how she transformed the sudden loss of her sister into a creative practice that led to deep healing, renewed purpose, and a choice to embrace joy. If you’re a woman over 50 who spent decades dealing with family, work, caregiving and managing expectations, this episode is for you. Laing and I talk about grief as more than death. It can be divorce, empty nest, health changes, career pivots, and the quiet loss of who you used to be. You’ll hear how simple creative rituals (like morning pages) can help you let go of what you’ve been holding, open your heart to what’s still possible, and reconnect to meaning without forcing “positivity.” Laing also offers a practical resilience framework so you can keep moving through hard seasons with steadiness and grace. In this episode, you’ll discover: Why grief in midlife often looks like identity loss (empty nest, divorce, changing roles), and why that’s real grief, not “being dramatic.” The “talk it, walk it, write it” approach to moving through heavy emotions and reconnecting with your inner wisdom. How creative expression (even if you don’t consider yourself “creative”) can be a powerful healing tool. The “sleep, eat, steep” foundation for building resilience through any transition. Why service can be healing. Not as self-abandonment, but as meaningful contribution that restores perspective and purpose. About Our Guest Laing Rikkers is an award-winning author, entrepreneur, and executive coach with over 30 years of leadership experience, including two decades in private equity. Afer losing her younger sister suddenly in 2019, she channeled her grief into creative writing which became the book, “Morning Leaves: Reflections on Loss, Grief, and Connection.” Now a certified grief support specialist, Laing leads workshops and serves on the boards of Feeding San Diego and the Empowered Endings Foundation, helping caregivers and families navigate end-of-life challenges with compassion and practical support. Connect with Laing Website: laingrikkers.com LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/laing-rikkers Instagram: @morning_leaves_and_poetry Book: Morning Leaves: Cultivating a Life of Beauty, Meaning and Joy (Second Edition coming March 2026) Resources & Links Mentioned: The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron – the creative recovery classic that introduced morning pages Empowered Endings Foundation – supporting caregivers and providers around end-of-life care The Foundation for Art and Healing – research and programs on creative expression and wellness NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) – mental health support and resources University of Wisconsin Grief Support Specialist Training Design Your Life, Your Way – Next Steps: Learn more about coaching, energy healing, and the L.O.V.E. Method™ at: gloriarand.com/offerings Check out the Good Grief Women’s Retreat happening in June, 2026: goodgriefretreat.net Discover your unique strengths for designing your next chapter: bit.ly/PersonalPowerQuiz If this episode spoke to you: Leave us a review. Follow/subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode. Share this with a friend who’s navigating transition, reinvention, or a fresh start after 50. Connect with me on LinkedIn @GloriaGraceRand to continue the conversation about midlife, meaning, and living on purpose. Remember: Your mess is your message. You don’t need to have it all figured out to show up. TRANSCRIPT Introduction: Meet Grief Support Specialist and Author Laing Rikkers Gloria Grace Rand: Joining us today is Laing Rikkers. She is an award-winning author, entrepreneur and executive coach with 30 plus years of leadership experience. Her book, Morning Reflections on Loss, Grief and Connection offers a moving, practical guide to finding resilience and meaning after loss. And we’re gonna, I’m gonna kind of dive into a bit of that today, especially that resilience piece of it. And I’m just trying to fix something over here on my, on my computer screen. There we go. And now I’m greater. Without further ado, bring her up onto the stage and welcome you, Laing, to our podcast. Welcome. Laing Rikkers: Nice to be here. Thank you for having me. Gloria Grace Rand: Well, I am, yeah, I’ve been looking forward to this conversation because we, we do have something in common. Not necessarily something exactly nice in common, but, but it’s a bond, I think, nonetheless, because we both, we both lost a sister and we both wound up writing a book as well. And I think, I mean, yours clearly came directly, directly from it. Mine was sort of, the idea came to me a couple months before my own sister passed and, and I wound up dedicating the book to her. So. But I would love for you to share with our audience a little bit about. Yeah, about your journey and how, how this came about, you know, losing your sister and then how that wound up leading to the book. The Sudden Loss of a Sibling: Laing’s Story of Grief and Shock Laing Rikkers: Absolutely. So I lost my sister very suddenly in December of 2019. And she had been having some issues that were associated with sleep apnea. She hadn’t gotten treated, but I knew of her symptoms because I had been working in the field. And unfortunately she died very suddenly. And we were quite shocked. She was 46, she had a daughter. And the good news was that it was before lockdown. And so we were all able to get together and mourn her and have a big service and that sort of thing. But then in March, as everyone experienced, we went into lockdown and entered that period that was really very frightening for everyone around the world with not knowing what was happening with COVID. Using Morning Pages and The Artist’s Way for Grief Processing And so the grief combined with the sort of existential that we were all experiencing and being at home more. I just found that I needed to do something creative and I read the, a classic book, the Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and started doing something that she suggested every morning, which is writing morning pages, which is writing three pages before doing anything else. And you’re sort of in that liminal state between dreaminess and wakefulness. And I started writing and it was a really cathartic experience for me and I hadn’t intended on writing a Book that was not something that I started out doing. But the combination of writing and spending a lot of time in nature and reflecting on everything that was going on led to poems that I originally typed up with the idea that I would give them to my children. I had been really aware that my sister had left too soon and that she had a daughter who I knew that she hadn’t been able to share everything as a mom. The girl was too young to have done that. And so I was thinking a lot about my kids, who were teenagers at the time. And, you know, what. What had I not imparted to them? And so I typed up what I had written, and one thing led to another and sort of came together as this lovely book. And so it’s been a really nice journey for me. Gloria Grace Rand: Oh, wow. Yeah, that’s. I love the Artist’s way. I, I have that book, although I never got very far into it except for, like, the morning pages as well. So I, I, I don’t always do the full three pages, but I do try to get maybe at least two in. Depends on the size of journal I’m working with. (laughter) Yeah, it’s like, you know, if it’s okay if it’s the wide rule. Yeah, I’m gonna do three full pages. If it’s the skinny… You know, maybe we can…(laughter) She probably wouldn’t approve of that, but. Well, and actually, I’m gonna ask you this because, you know, even though I know we’re gonna get into some other stuff, but, but just of the creative process, did you find that if you do, like, get into, like, that third page, that that really is where things start to kind of come out. Because I know for me, sometimes it’s like. Sometimes it’s just kind of mundane things, the first page or so and then. But as I keep going, that’s when some interesting revelations come, Come through. Did you find anything that ever happened to you? Finding Your Inner Voice Through Journaling and Creative Writing Laing Rikkers: Certainly I had that happen where the beginning would just be, I don’t know what I’m writing about. And, you know, you’re, Particularly when you’re starting, you really. I don’t know what to say. It feels awkward. Yeah. And then by, you know. Well, and, and different days were different. I, I guess is. I found sometimes, really, when I was in the heart of writing that if I got very sort of still and quiet, that I could sort of hear something that I wanted to write. So I, I learned to sort of listen to myself in a different way. And when I stopped the sort of chatter in my head and the judgment and, and all of those other Noises that can distract. I found that that clearest voice was able to come through some days, not every day, but. Yeah. Yeah. That was a very special thing to be able to experience. Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah, absolutely. And I think that’s a good. That’s a good reminder for us is that, you know, because I. I often, you know, I talk with my clients, and I’ve said this on the podcast before, that I. I always recommend journaling as a great way to be able to really connect with your higher self, but not every day is going to have those tremendous revelations someday. It isn’t going to be that, you know, and I might be just listing all the things that I need to get done today. That’s absolutely my. Yeah. Yeah. So talk a little bit about, you know, because you mentioned, you know, it’s definitely. Yeah. I can’t even, you know, imagine having to deal with, you know, the loss and then. Of course. Yeah. And then Covid, when the world shut down, and that was so much fun and dealing with that, too. But how, you know, like, in. How has really. I know she. She was. We talked before. Before she was your younger sister. How has this really. That loss impacted your life? You know, were there any, maybe even, like, surprising ways that. That you weren’t expecting? Unexpected Silver Linings: How Grief Can Transform Your Perspective Laing Rikkers: Well, the whole thing was a surprise, for sure, and it has impacted my life. And like we were saying before we hopped on here, that there have been some really positive surprises as well as obviously all of the negative ones that you might expect that associated with that kind of loss, but the positive ones have been around focus and the idea of living today and that we need to do what we need to do now. And actually, the opening of my book, the. The dedication is. This book is dedicated to Jenna, who abruptly left too early, cracked me open and whispered today, now. And I’ve really tried to inhabit that and be much more thoughtful about time and, you know, my ability to do things and hoping to have it mean more and be well and that sort of thing. Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah, no, I appreciate that. I’m. I’m hoping my. My cat is not being picked up on the microphone because he’s all of a sudden decided to. Decided to just. Yeah, to join the. Join the podcast. It’s like, no, kid, go away. I love you. Yeah, this is not the time. Financial Independence and Confidence: Challenges Women Over 50 Face Well, you know, the focus of our podcast is really on helping women over 50 design their life their way. And we were even, kind of even talking a little bit about this at the beginning, too, before we came on. What do you think is the biggest hurdle that women definitely over 50 and probably maybe even a little bit even over 40 as well. Face. When it comes to living life on their terms, everybody’s situation is different. Laing Rikkers: But I think that having financial independence, I think about that quite a bit. I have a daughter who’s in college and talking to her about choosing paths that give her the power to make her own choices, and I think that that’s really important for women in particular. I think men often are culturally directed that way, but I’m not sure that historically women always have been. And so I think to have that sort of independence to make choices because we all have to pay the rent and food on the table and. And then also there’s an element of confidence and building upon skills and experience that one has developed over time and at a more spiritual sort of personal level, understanding who one is, what’s meaningful to them, how they want to express themselves, what they want to do and impart to the world is that’s real work. I don’t think that. I don’t minimize that part of it as well. It’s one thing to want to do something, but knowing what that is is often the hardest part. And to get very clear about one’s goals and often doing it isn’t as hard once you know where you want to go. From Private Equity to Purpose: A Midlife Career Transition Story Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah. Do you think your book has served part of that purpose for you? A little bit? Laing Rikkers: Definitely. Definitely. I spent my career in business. I worked in private equity for about 20 years and I have left that and I am now advising some small businesses and I’m on the boards of some non profits, so Feeding San Diego and another organization called the Empowered Endings Foundation. So I’m trying to put my time and energy into projects that I find really meaningful and important. You know, sort of. My husband has a term of, you know, is it of ultimate consequence? And so that’s definitely been, you know, important to me. Morning Leaves Second Edition: Expanding the Conversation on Loss Beyond Death And then my book itself, I actually have a second edition of the book that is coming out in March. The. It’s about. It’s the same core book, but it’s 20 pages longer. And it has a new preface which opens up the aperture on loss beyond just death loss to all of the kind losses that I think we’re experiencing culturally and particularly right now. I think our identity as a country, the environment, you know, our sort of intergenerational losses we’re experiencing. And. And then it talks about the things that have been helpful to me sort of with 5 years experience looking backwards. And so the new. So the book is still called Morning Leaves. But the new subtitle is Cultivating a life of Beauty, Meaning and Joy. So I like that. Yeah, it’s moving from, of course we all have loss and we all are dealing with our own types of grief, but that we also have ways to take care of ourselves and do the work to ultimately make the decision to choose joy. And I differentiate that from happiness, which I think is sort of sparkly and more fleeting but really true, deep joy that can come from living, you know, aligned with one’s values and taking care of oneself and things that, that matter to them. Grief Beyond Death: Processing Loss of Identity, Relationships, and Life Transitions Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah, I think that. And I, I think it’s so important that you do talk about that. Yeah. Grief isn’t just about losing a person because sometimes it’s about losing any, an identity, you know, you know, you know, empty nesters, you know, suddenly, you know, they’re, they were the person who was, you know, you know, especially if you’re, you’re a woman, you know, you were the mom taking care of the kids. Now your kids are off on your own and it’s like, oh, oh, you know, what am I going to do now? Or, or maybe you, you know, either, maybe lose a spouse, not to death, but to perhaps, you know, divorce. And so now, again, it’s like now I’ve, I’ve read about, you know, what happens sometimes you lose friends because they were friends with the spouse maybe, and so now they don’t want to be associated with you because they still want to be friends with the spouse. And so now you’re going to have to go out and get whole new friends. So I, I notice when two things I want to get back to empowered endings. So remind me about that because I’m really, I, I loved what, what that is all about. I want to get involved in that. But I also noticed that you and I, again, we have something. Not to mention the fact that also my sister passed in December as well, two days after Christmas. So there you go. But I noticed that you do grief retreats and I’m actually going to be hosting one myself in June. So I love that. Again, we got the synchronicity here. So what prompted you to start doing that? And have you already held one? And if so, how was that experience? Because I’d love to know. Just selfishly. Grief Support Specialist Training: Finding Meaning in Helping Others Heal Laing Rikkers: Absolutely. So because of my book and the people that I was working with and what I found to be important from the people who helped me through grief, I ended up doing a grief support specialist training at the University of Wisconsin. And I just find that grief work is some of the most deeply satisfying work that I’ve ever done because you are with people who are at their most raw, most vulnerable, most open. And that to me is exciting. I, I tire quickly of people’s affect and pretenses and other sort of things that can get in the way of meaningful conversation. And so I have, I’ve actually never done a full blown retreat. I have been a part of a number of series of workshops that participants come for a few hours either every month or every week. And I’m in the middle of a group right now and I just love doing it. I work with another grief specialist who’s been, she’s a death doula and has been in the space for a long time. And I learn a lot from her and the way that she engages with people. And I learn a lot about myself and I learn a lot from the people who are participating. And everybody’s grief is different, but the opportunity to share and connect is a real honor and it’s very special. So fortunate to get to do it. The Power of Grief Support Groups and Safe Spaces for Healing Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah, that’s, that’s wonderful. Yeah, I, I, well, the, the, the first, Just a couple months after my sister passed, I was fortunate enough to be invited to a just a wise women retreat. It was just a one day thing, but they had these wonderful, like a talking circle and so everybody got around and, and, and I of course, broke down because it was just a couple months after my sister passed. But it was so, so wonderful to be held in, you know, in this container where people just, you know, understood and they respected me and I could, you know, it was okay to let my guard down and show my emotions. And I think that’s what’s, it’s so needed that we need to be there for people to be able to, you know, understand them and be with them wherever they are in that stage. Because you’re right, grief does go through some, you know, interesting phases and, and it can still sneak up on you when, just when you think maybe you, you’re kind of, you know, you’re starting to kind of come to terms with things and you’re, you’re, you know, you feel like, okay, you’re more of an even keel. And then. Right. Another wave comes. Something. Yeah, something, something. Who knows? You know, it’s either, it’s either a date or maybe you hear something on the radio, who knows? Or maybe it’s just, for whatever reason, it’s just like, whoa. Okay. Using Poetry and Creative Expression in Grief Workshops Laing Rikkers: Yeah. So, yeah, the retreats that, or the workshops that I’ve been doing, we’ve been so this Is my book what it looks like? This is the current version, and it. It’s filled with poetry and art, and so we actually use the book as part of the framework for the discussion. That’s nice. And then we give people time to write themselves. Some people draw or have other sort of creative forms of expression, and it’s. It’s a very nice way to organize the discussion and give people different entry points in, because some people are more guarded. Some people need a prompt to. To open them up and. And get them started. And so we read some of the poems and it gives us also a starting point to talk about. Grief is the obvious sort of sadness and negative emotions, but it also drums up so many other emotions and so many reflections on ourselves that it’s good for people to realize that that is part of the grief process as well. To. You think about the. The isolation or the envy or the anger or the. All of the other emotions that bubble up partly because of the door that’s been cracked open from. The Complex Emotions of Grief: Anger, Isolation, and Unresolved Business Gloria Grace Rand: Oh, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I can imagine that, you know, losing your sister, you know, when she’s such a young age. And I know when I was. I was 18 when my older brother passed, and it was. It was a sudden thing. He died in his sleep. So it was like, what? And he’s only 33. And. And I was really not only. Not necessarily even angry at God, I was just angry at the situation, you know, and especially even when I got older and got married and had kids and. And. And I’d be like, he would have been such a good uncle. So mad, you know, that. That you’re not around and like, you know, so, yeah, those types of emotions, I think, are. They’re normal. Laing Rikkers: So, you know, there’s unresolved business and. Yeah, yeah, that too. My sister, sometimes my parents are both still alive and getting older and needing help, and where are you? You’re supposed to be here to help me with it. Yeah, exactly. So it does come out. You know, sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s deeper things that you didn’t even know were still packed under there. And so it’s. But that’s. As you said in the beginning, that’s one of the silver linings to get some of it up and out and to use, you know, I’ve. Walk It, Talk It, Write It: Practical Tools for Moving Through Grief I found, you know, to use exercise as an important way to sort of the energy to be able to talk about it, find either friends or counselors to be able to address it with creativity. So, you know, I. I call it talk. It Walk it, write it. Those are sort of the activities that help to move the energy, the emotion, the experience so that then you can integrate it and make sense of it and hopefully find some of the, the silver lining. Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah, absolutely. And I was going to ask you about, you know, some practical ways to use, you know, simple creative rituals to, to process emotions and spark clarity. So, yeah, so you mentioned, you know, definitely, obviously writing is one. Are there any others besides, you know, speak it, talk it? The Foundation for Art and Healing: How Creativity Supports Grief Recovery Laing Rikkers: Yeah, definitely. I mean, there’s an organization called the foundation for Art and Healing and they have some interesting programs and materials, a lot of research that came out of the Harvard School of Public Health. And they show that if you do something creative and it can be drawing, writing, knitting, I mean, it really any form of creative expression, and then one ultimately has what they call an artifact. So you have your piece of art and then you’ve gone through this sort of flow state of creating it, and then you have it, and then you have it to share with somebody else. And a lot of times you’re able to express something that maybe words can’t quite capture. And the opportunity to share it with someone else creates the connection. And the connection is very critical to the healing. And so I think that art for sure, and creativity and it could be dancing, it could be singing. I think depending on, you know, the inclination of the person, it could be a lot of different things. It’s a very important and helpful way to take all of the energy, roll it around, pull it apart, put it back together and then create something new that’s generative and positive and forward looking. It’s a very valuable exercise. Choosing the Right People to Share Your Grief With: Potential Pitfalls Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah, I, I definitely can relate to that. And I love doing all sorts of different creative things myself. But what, and I kind of have an idea about it, but I want to see what you, what you think about it. What potential pitfalls might there be for someone, especially in sharing something with somebody? What, what do you think might be something that maybe somebody needs to be just kind of mindful of? Laing Rikkers: Well, not everybody is comfortable talking about grief and loss. And so I think choosing the right person. And it could be somebody who’s gone through it before. It could be somebody who’s professional. It also could just be a matter of testing the waters and seeing if somebody has an appetite for it that particular day or moment. And I think that when one is vulnerable and raw, they share a lot. And you want to be careful that who you are sharing with also is trustworthy with your most intimate and most delicate parts of yourself. And so that’s probably the biggest risk. I, I think me. Well, I think really the biggest risk is not sharing at all, getting isolated and thinking that what one is going through, you know, that you were the only person, that’s probably the biggest mistake. And yeah, the finding, the ability to find other people and feel seen and heard is critical. Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah, absolutely. Oh, so good. Yep. Okay. That was, it was kind of what I said, what I was suspecting, but it was good to hear somebody else confirm it for me. Redesigning Life After Loss: Making Meaningful Career and Life Changes If you decided to redesign your life, your way today, what, if anything, would you change? Laing Rikkers: Well, I am doing it. So I think about, I think about this question a lot. I, as I mentioned, I had been in private equity for 20 years and I’ve left that. And so, so I’m in this transition year or two of where do I really want to put my time and energy and what’s important to me. And certainly putting out the second edition of my book and having the opportunity to talk to people about things that resonate for them in terms of their life, their losses has been one of the most meaningful things. Empowered Endings Foundation: Supporting Caregivers Through End-of-Life Care You had also mentioned that you wanted to talk about Empowered Endings. That is a place where I’ve been putting quite a bit of my energy. It is a non profit that focuses on caregivers and providers around end of life subjects. So it could be anything from dementia, aging and then all the way to end of life as in death. And it’s really caring for the caregivers and ensuring that they have resources, best practices, education, community, and that they are able to take care of themselves because their work is taxing and draining. And so to ensure, you know, we’re talking about, you know, end of life care, physicians and nurses, hospice workers and death doulas and caregivers in the home and family members, all, you know, dealing with different pieces of this puzzle. But there I saw some number in paper the other day that there are more caregivers of elderly than there are of children in the country right now. And so it’s, you know, a big, it’s a lot of the population and a lot of people really have questions. They don’t know where to go, they don’t know what choices exist. They don’t know where to get good information. And so Empowered Endings is working to create a national network of people and resources that are where people can turn to, to get information and become part of a community around the subject that matters to them. Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah, I love that. And actually it does make sense because baby boomers were this huge generation and they are retiring every day. You know, there’s statistics about how many of them are there. And, you know, or even the Generation Jones, which I’ve learned that, that, that technically, I guess, is what I’m. I’m not strictly. I’m not a baby boomer, even though I used to excel at Trivial Pursuit, the baby boomer edition. But, but I am that. Just that like, kind of tail end and not quite the, the next one, whatever that is. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. The Value of Hospice Care: A Personal Experience with End-of-Life Support But, yeah, I think that’s so important because, yeah, it’s. I. When my sister was going through her cancer journey, she. I live in Florida, she lived in Arizona. And so I would go out there as often as I could to be with her when she’s going through the treatments, but I wasn’t always able to do it because I had. Was raising two kids at the time, had my business and a husband. But I would get periodically, I would get a phone call from one of her friends going, when are you coming out again? Can you come out soon, please? You know, we love Michaela, but we need a break. And you know, and, and they were just, you know, she wasn’t married, she didn’t have any kids, so she was relying on either her friends or me to help her, you know, with doctor’s appointments and, and, and, and just even making sure she was eating and taking her. Her medications and things like that. So, yeah, it’s rough. And I was so grateful that we did have hospice support in the last, I guess, last two months, because they’re wonderful, wonderful, wonderful people. And so when I saw that organization, I was like, this sounds wonderful. And I’m definitely right up my alley and want to see how else I can. What I can do to support them as well, because I think it’s so needed. Laing Rikkers: Yeah. And it’s just going to be continuing to be necessary as we go forward. Building Resilience: Sleep, Eat, Steep – Foundational Elements for Coping with Loss Gloria Grace Rand: Yeah. Is there anything else that I haven’t asked you about that you’d like to share with our listeners today regarding either grief or loss or, you know, just dealing with transitions in life that goes by. Laing Rikkers: At the end of my new book, I talk about some things that I think are really important for our ongoing resilience, because like it or not, loss is coming at all of us. And so there are sort of three foundational elements that I think are really important. Sleep. I think we all are aware of the importance of that and just how much better we handle things when we are well rested. And it can be hard to get good sleep when one is dealing with traumatic Stressful, difficult things, but to really make that a priority and focus also. So I call it sleep, eat, steep, so sleeping, then eating. And under the umbrella of eating, I’m actually talking about sort of everything that we put into our body, of course, healthy food, balanced food. Not letting loss become an excuse to, you know, only eat ice cream or also not to drink too much, not to numb ourselves with other kinds of food, drugs, alcohol. And it’s. I like to think of, you know, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line and if you start adding other substances, it makes the line longer and it makes it harder to, to get through. And so it’s very tempting. And I understand, you know, that second glass of wine or whatever it is, but it, the more one can be thoughtful about taking care of themselves in that way, I think is helpful. The Role of Spiritual Practice and Meditation in Grief Recovery And then the third foundational one I call steep. And that’s depends on the person, a spiritual practice, a meditation, a religion, but to really lean into it and, and to be able to put themselves in a greater context and one of a bigger universe. And I think it’s very helpful when one is sort of in the dark hole of a, of a tough situation. So I think those three things are the foundation. And then the eat, sleeps, I mean, sorry. And then the walk it, talk it, write it, which we talked about. And then I think the final piece that really helps one come out of it is serving others and paying it forward and being able to do things to make life better for other people. It gives us meaning and purpose and a sense of consequence. And so I, I encourage people who are struggling a little bit to look at ways that they can get outside of themselves and help someone else in. It often changes the perspective of it. Finding Purpose Through Serving Others: How Helping Heals Gloria Grace Rand: Oh yeah, absolutely, yeah. Because when you can put your focus on helping someone else, really it really does, it changes your focus. And also sometimes it can, you know, depending on who you’re helping, might even give you perspective. Like, okay, well maybe my life isn’t quite as horrible as I thought it was and you know, this other person is really going through something and if I can help them, you know, that’s really good. And I would just actually add, because I do love the eat sleep state. But I think the other thing, and it’s something that you are providing, and I know I do as well, I think is support. So whether that is one on one, whether it is joining a group, you know, being in a community of people who are going through what you’re going through, there’s all kinds of places to find that, you know, there’s, there’s meetup, there’s Facebook, you know, even though sometimes it drives me crazy. But there are lots of groups there. But knowing that you don’t have to go through this alone or you can, you know, there’s organizations online that you can, you know, that you can reach out to for support. One I, I really believe in is nami. It’s a national association, something for, for mental health. Anyway. And you know, because, because sometimes you can, you know, you know, grief or, or just again, even through transition it can be, you know, bring maybe not necessarily going to full blown depression, but it can be something that can be strong enough that you, you know, don’t feel you have to go through this alone. There’s, there’s resources out there. Laing Rikkers: I completely agree. It’s. And professional resources are as you say, there are lots of way shapes and forms of counselors and therapists and you know, all the way to psychiatrists. But also as you say, a good support group or even a great friend who. Gloria Grace Rand: Absolutely. Well, I think the connection piece is, as we were saying earlier, is critical to the healing. So I, I think you’re absolutely right. Where to Find Laing Rikkers: Book Tour, Website, and Social Media Yeah. Cool. Well, this has been a pleasure and we, time has flown by but I would like to have you share with our listeners if there’s someplace that they want to get some more information from you. Maybe they want to check out one of your work workshops. Where can people learn more about Lang? Laing Rikkers: Well, probably the best place is my website, so it’s Laing Rikkers.com that’s one of the nice things about having an unusual name is you can get like your website and your gmail and so langrekers.com it has. I, I’m very active on LinkedIn and Instagram in particular, but I would love for people to contact me from there. I have an events list and my book as I mentioned, is coming out in March and so I’m going to be doing a book tour and so I will have all of the dates and locations listed there. So people around the country would love for them to come and introduce themselves. So appreciate everyone reaching out when they can. Gloria Grace Rand: Awesome. All right, well, thank you very much for joining us today. I really did appreciate getting to know you a little bit better and look forward to, to continuing to connect with you on LinkedIn because that’s where, where I’m hanging out. Instagram, I, I don’t know, can’t get in there. So I try but it’s like no problem. Laing Rikkers: But I, I really appreciate being included. And I’m looking forward to staying in touch. Gloria Grace Rand: All right, take care. Thanks. Bye. Bye.