Dimming The Gaslight: Our Healing Journey From Narcissistic Abuse

We have an INCREDIBLE episode for you today.Wendy Cooper joins us to tell a story that starts like a fairy tale—and slowly turns into something she couldn't fully understand until years later.A successful attorney, former competitive skier, world traveler, and adventurer, Wendy thought she had found her Prince Charming. The chemistry was intense. The connection felt undeniable. The future seemed limitless.Then the mask started slipping.🎿 The Fairytale Beginning: What started with instant chemistry, bizarre coincidences, and a whirlwind romance quickly felt like the perfect match. Looking back now, Wendy can see the performance for what it was—but at the time, it felt completely real.🚩 The First Red Flag That Changed Everything: After months of being the perfect partner, one phone call revealed a completely different person. Cold. Dismissive. Cruel. The kind of moment that leaves you wondering, "Who was THAT?"🇫🇷 The Dream Life in France: Wendy shares how she left behind the traditional path to build an extraordinary life overseas—raising a family, practicing law, and chasing adventure around the world. From the outside, it looked incredible.🎭 The Narcissist Who Fooled Everyone: Therapists. Friends. Family. Even Wendy herself. We get into how some narcissists don't dominate with rage—they dominate by becoming the victim in every room they enter.👶 When the Attention Shifted to the Kids: As their family grew, the cracks became impossible to ignore. What should have been some of life's happiest moments became some of the loneliest.🧠 "I Didn't Even Know It Was Narcissism": One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is hearing Wendy explain that she didn't leave because she knew what she was dealing with. In fact, she didn't even start researching narcissism until long after the separation.📚 The Moment Everything Finally Made Sense: Like so many survivors, Wendy began looking back at years of confusing memories and realizing they weren't random incidents—they were part of a pattern.💔 The Marriage That Never Felt Right: This episode explores something many survivors struggle to explain: what happens when a relationship isn't obviously catastrophic, but somehow leaves you feeling exhausted, confused, and emotionally alone for years.This episode is insightful, validating, heartbreaking, and packed with those moments where you'll find yourself saying, "Wait... my ex did that too."JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

Allison Scott joins us for one of the most raw, emotional, and honestly jaw-dropping conversations we’ve had on the show yet.What starts as a conversation about her song Superman quickly turns into a deep dive into covert narcissistic abuse, religious manipulation, emotional control, infidelity, trauma, motherhood, and what it actually feels like to slowly lose yourself inside a marriage that looks “perfect” from the outside.🎵 The Lyric That Hit Us Like a Truck: Allison opens up about the inspiration behind her song Superman—and the heartbreaking feeling of believing you “deserve to be unseen.” 🧠 “He Was Nice While Destroying Me”: No screaming. No obvious explosions. Just years of subtle criticism, control, judgment, and emotional erosion disguised as kindness. We talk about the kind of abuse that’s almost impossible to explain to people who haven’t lived it.⛪ Religious Abuse & Weaponized Faith: Allison shares how scripture, theology, and “being a good wife” were used to keep her quiet, submissive, and constantly questioning herself. 👀 The Moment Everything Finally Clicked: After years of chaos, infidelity, emotional neglect, and manipulation, one realization changed everything: “This is abuse.” We get into the terrifying moment when you finally see the relationship clearly for what it actually is.💔 The Stories That Will Make Your Jaw Drop: From emotional cruelty during pregnancies… to being compared to prostitutes… to subtle psychological control behind closed doors… some of these moments are genuinely hard to believe.🎶 Music as Trauma Therapy: One of the most beautiful parts of this episode is hearing how songwriting, singing, dancing, and creativity became part of Allison’s healing journey after years of emotional survival mode.JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

We’ve talked a lot about the damage narcissists leave behind… but this episode flips the script in a way we’ve never explored before.Lily joins us to share her story as a mother of a narcissist — a role that comes with intense shame, silence, and judgment. For years, she believed what many parents are conditioned to believe: if something is wrong with your child, it must be your fault.So she did what she thought a “good mother” should do. She apologized. She took responsibility.She gave more, sacrificed more… and kept trying to fix something that only seemed to get worse.But behind the scenes, something far more complex — and far more disturbing — was happening.In this episode, we dive into:What it looks like when narcissistic abuse comes from your own childHow guilt, societal pressure, and therapy culture can keep parents stuckThe subtle shift from loving relationship to emotional chaosWhy narcissists can appear vulnerable, self-aware… even empatheticThe breaking point where Lily realized: this isn’t me… this is herAnd the eerie sense of peace that comes with finally letting goThis conversation is raw, uncomfortable, and deeply eye-opening — especially if you’ve ever questioned your own reality in a relationship.Because sometimes… the roles aren’t what you think they are.JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

We are diving into the intersection of religion and narcissism. Following up on last week's Buddhist perspective, this episode takes a completely different, highly satirical approach to surviving toxic environments.🙏 Gaslighting for God: We sit down with author Becky Garrison to discuss her new book, a satirical guidebook and memoir that tackles spiritual abuse using personal stories and scholarly research. Click the link to buy her book! ❤️ The Ultimate Weapon: Mac and Becky discuss the power of satire when dealing with narcissists, including why a southern "bless your heart" is the absolute best way to tell someone off.🔥 Shattering Idols: Becky breaks down her philosophy on surviving a global reckoning, why tearing down false idols is painful but necessary, and how to find glimpses of real goodness in the fragments left behind.JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

What happens when the love-bombing is so intense that you find yourself trapped for nearly three decades? This week, we are joined by Mia Hanks @npd.andme , author of the upcoming memoir “Bride-Made”. Mia shares the terrifying reality of surviving a 29-year marriage to a narcissist.From the lavish dates and over-the-top gifts that reeled her in, to the relentless gaslighting that convinced her she was the root of every problem, Mia breaks down her journey. We discuss the danger of marrying someone who constantly paints themselves as the “smartest guy in the room” and the incredible strength it takes to finally walk away.JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

It started with an obsession with K-Dramas. It ended with a month-long solo trip to Korea for "plastic surgery" that was actually a cover for something much darker.Our guest Tyler shares one of the most insane discovery stories we have ever heard. After his wife left him home with their three kids for a month, Tyler heard a literal voice in his head say three words: "Check the iCloud."What he found wasn't recovery photos. It was a hidden folder containing over 1,000 pieces of evidence that shattered his reality. From the ultimate gaslight ("I cheated because you didn't love me enough") to living with the enemy for a year during the divorce, this is a story of survival you have to hear to believe.JOIN US ON DISCORD!⁠⁠ Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

“It felt like the total package. The chemistry, the deep conversations, the shared future—and then, overnight, it was gone. No reason. No explanation. Just a cold exit.”In this episode of Dimming the Gaslight, Phil and I sit down with psychologist @drj.smith to deconstruct the “Discard Phase.” We dive deep into why high-character “Givers” are targeted by “Empty Vessels” and the psychological blueprint of a relationship that has a pre-determined shelf life.In this episode, we discuss:*The Mirroring Phase: How they project your own best qualities back at you to create a “soulmate” illusion.*The Lack of Closure: Why searching for a “reason” from an empty shell is a trap.*The Recovery Blueprint: How to sit with the “maddening” discomfort and reclaim your worth through discipline and truth.*Humanism vs. The Mask: Recognizing the difference between someone who is beautiful on the outside and someone who is truly loving on the inside.You aren’t “broken” because they left; you are being liberated from a fake version of reality. It’s time to see your victory.JOIN US ON DISCORD! Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

So I thought about it. And then thought about it, and thought about it, and thought about it some more.And then I got a case of the fuck-its.Why should I stay quiet? If it’s the truth, then let the truth be told. I’m putting this one-time Patreon episode out on the public podcast.This episode is a marathon. It's a 2.5-hour purge of the demons from a relationship I thought was real. Unfortunately, I fell for another narcissist.I'm breaking down every detail: the red flags I painted yellow, the warning signs I missed, and the cold reality of the discard. Am I crazy? Was none of it real? Or am I back to recovering from narcissistic abuse?You be the judge.Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

@lets_talk_about_narcissism hosts the “The Narc Mother In Law” podcast. She is an old friend and I’ve been trying to have her on the pod for a long, long time!Erica’s ex-mother-in-law is a nightmare, and she didn’t get much help from her ex-husband either. Her MIL constantly badgered her about her weight, invited her husband’s ex-girlfriend to Christmas, and even made statements that led Erica to believe her life was in danger! You gotta hear this one!Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

We always joke that “this whole situation could be a movie”… so why not a full-blown theatrical performance? This week, we’re joined by Brooke — writer, director, producer, and star of a one-woman show that exposes gaslighting for what it truly is: a full-on circus.She gives us a sneak peek into the plot, the characters, the chaos, and how each moment connects to her own lived experiences. This story is wild, raw, and unlike anything we’ve featured before.Trust me — you don’t want to miss this one.Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

This week, we share one of the most harrowing “neighbor from hell” stories you will ever hear. Our guest, Heather, details a relentless campaign of terror that goes far beyond a simple dispute. She describes enduring constant stalking, high beams shone into her home at all hours, and disruptive heavy machinery (bobcats) running day and night. The harassment allegedly escalated to horrifying levels, including arrows and Molotov cocktails being shot at her home. Heather’s story of survival is a must-listen.Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.

Eddie is back from last week with part 2 of his story! From how he met his NEx, to the torment from her family, to realizing he was in a toxic relationship, Eddie’s story will continue to have you on the edge of your seat!Click ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to join us on Patreon!For all things DTG, visit 👉 ⁠www.dimmingthegaslight.com⁠⚖️ Disclaimer (because our lawyers make us say this): Dimming The Gaslight is based entirely on true events—except for the stuff we totally made up. Names, locations, and other identifying details have been changed. If you think we’re talking about you in this podcast… newsflash: you’re the narcissist.