Hard Fun is More Fun

Hard Fun is More Fun

From Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families by Dr Justin Coulson

May 6, 2026 · 17 min · Episode 1597

About this episode

The episode discusses how traditional rewards can undermine children's motivation and resilience, advocating for 'hard fun' as a more effective approach.

What if the very thing we use to motivate kids is actually making them less motivated? New research from Harvard University reveals something surprising: when children play just for fun, they naturally seek challenge, take risks, and stretch themselves further. But the moment rewards, prizes, or competition enter the picture, kids start choosing the easiest possible path. In this fascinating Doctor’s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what this means for parenting, learning, sport, motivation, and raising resilient kids who actually enjoy hard things. If you’ve ever relied on sticker charts, rewards, bribery, or competition to encourage your child — this conversation may completely change the way you think about motivation. KEY POINTS Harvard researchers found kids seek harder challenges when rewards are removed Competition and prizes often reduce creativity, risk-taking, and persistence Children are naturally wired for growth and exploration “Hard fun” is often more rewarding than easy success Motivation increases when kids feel ownership and autonomy External rewards can shift focus away from learning and onto “getting the prize&rdquo…

People in this episode

Host: Dr Justin Coulson

Guest: Kylie

Topics covered

  • motivation
  • parenting
  • children
  • resilience
  • learning
  • competition

Keywords

  • motivation
  • children
  • parenting
  • rewards
  • resilience
  • learning
  • competition
  • challenges

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Harvard University, Developmental Psychology

Books & works: Punished by Rewards

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