Encountering You

Adult friendship doesn't happen by accident, it happens on purpose. In this conversation with Ashley, co-owner of our counseling practice and my best friend, we talk about why making friends as an adult is genuinely harder, why so many good friendships quietly fade under busyness, and what it actually takes to move a friendship from surface-level to real. We will also discuss concrete takeaways—things you can actually do this week. We will talk about: Why making friends as an adult is harder than it was in school and what actually work? Why friendships fade during busy seasons, and how to keep them alive without grand gestures What keeps friendships stuck at surface level and how to move toward real depth Practical takeaways for building, maintaining, and deepening friendships A real, honest conversation between two friends who run a counseling practice together Five key takeaways: Proximity repeated over time beats instant connection Be the one who initiates, even when it's vulnerable Lower the bar for contact; small deposits count Name the season instead of disappearing Ask one real question instead of five surface ones

A wounded sense of worth doesn't stay in childhood. It follows you into your work, your relationships, and the story you tell about who you are. In Part 2, we trace the value wound into adulthood -- the achievement treadmill that never stops, the relationships where love never quite feels safe, the inner critic that renders verdicts instead of feedback. Then we look at how a value wound shapes identity, why identity crises are often doorways rather than disasters, and what genuine healing actually looks like. IN THIS EPISODE How the value wound shows up at work: perfectionism, imposter syndrome, the inability to rest How it shows up in relationships: over-giving, chronic reassurance-seeking, difficulty receiving love The inner critic as internalized shame -- and why it renders verdicts, not feedback How a wounded sense of worth produces a borrowed identity built on roles and approval Why an identity crisis is often growth pushing back -- not something going wrong What healing looks like -- and why it requires more than insight If the borrowed identity fell away -- the role, the title, the thing you're known for -- what would be left? Is that terrifying? Or is there something in you that's curious about finding out?

In Part 1 we named the patterns of codependence. In Part 2 we go deeper – tracing codependence back to its developmental roots, looking honestly at what it costs us, and walking through what healing actually looks like using all six principles of the HOCI model. Not a new self. A more honest one. In this episode we will look at: What families teach without meaning to – and how attachment wounds become codependent patterns Why you don't need a dramatic history to carry these wounds The real cost: what codependence does to your body, your relationships, and your sense of self What healing looks like through each of the six HOCI core areas – with a concrete practice to move forward You were designed for real connection – not managed connection, not performed connection, not connection that costs you yourself. That kind of connection starts with knowing who you are. And that work is always available. Right here. Right now.

I've been doing the work. I've read the books, sat in the sessions, had the hard conversations. And then something happens -- and I find myself right back in a pattern I thought I was done with. What is wrong with me? Am I ever going to get there? If you've asked that question, this episode is for you. "Am I fully healed?" is one of the most common questions that surfaces in therapy -- usually from the people who are working the hardest. Today we sit inside that question rather than rush past it. We look at what healing actually is through the lens of the Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) framework, why the pattern coming back doesn't mean you're starting over, and how to be in a lifelong journey without it crushing you. In this episode: Why the idea of being "fully healed" may be the wrong goal The spiral nature of healing -- and why returning to familiar territory isn't the same as going backward What regression actually is (and what it isn't) Why triggers are the curriculum, not the enemy How spiritual communities can unintentionally add shame to the healing process How to measure progress differently -- and give yourself credit for what has actually changed The goal isn't to arrive. It's to become more yourself, more of the time. Reflection question to carry with you: How is your relationship to the thing you've struggled with longest different today than it was two years ago -- even subtly? Encountering You is a faith-informed podcast about mental health, healing, and the work of becoming more yourself.

Many of us reach a point where we notice it; the way we react, the way we shut down, the way we respond in relationships and think, I don’t want to keep doing this. In this episode, we explore what actually gets passed down in families and relationships, and why those patterns can feel so hard to change. Through the lens of attachment and the nervous system, we look at how our reactions are often learned, automatic, and rooted in what once helped us feel safe. More importantly, we talk about how to begin interrupting those patterns in real, practical ways. This episode offers a simple, repeatable framework:Notice → Pause → Regulate → Choose → Repair Because breaking generational cycles isn’t about getting it right every time; it’s about responding differently, one moment at a time. In this episode we explore: What actually gets passed down in relationships Why patterns repeat (even when we don’t want them to) The role of attachment and nervous system responses How to interrupt patterns in real time Why repair matters more than perfection

Parenting carries some of our deepest hopes for connection, meaning, and legacy. But the story of parenting doesn’t always unfold the way we imagined. For some, the disappointment comes from longing for children that never arrive, through infertility, miscarriage, or not finding a partner to build a family with. For others, the grief happens within parenting itself when children struggle, relationships change, or the experience is harder than expected. In this episode, we explore why these disappointments can feel so profound and how attachment, identity, and cultural expectations all shape the parenting story. In this episode we explore: 1. The grief of infertility or not finding a partner to have children with 2. Why parenting struggles can feel so personal 3. Attachment and the caregiving system 4. Separating grief from shame in the parenting journey

In this special Q&A episode, Laura is tackling a few questions that have been coming up a lot lately around mental health and relationships. She shares some interesting trends showing up in 2026—from people switching to “brick phones” to set better digital boundaries, to the danger of self-diagnosis and conversations around family boundaries. Then she covers some practical questions: How do you know if you might need counseling? How can you suggest therapy to someone you care about without it coming across the wrong way? And what do you do if you’re someone who’s afraid of making mistakes? If you've ever asked any of these questions - this episode is for you.

In this episode of Encountering You, Laura Williams explains why nervous system regulation isn’t about being calm, positive, or emotionally controlled. Regulation is about your ability to stay present with stress, emotion, and discomfort without shutting down or becoming reactive. You’ll learn how fight, flight, freeze, and fawn show up in everyday life, why dysregulation isn’t a failure, and how regulation grows through compassion, repetition, and safe connection.

In this episode, Laura explores why purpose is so essential to our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being—and why so many of us feel disconnected from it. Instead of treating purpose like a goal to achieve, Laura reframes it as something that naturally emerges as we heal, become more grounded, and reconnect with who we truly are. Drawing from personal story, the Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) model, and current research, she explains how purpose is shaped by our core developmental needs (attachment, self-esteem, boundaries, reality, dependency, and moderation) and how unmet needs can make purpose feel confusing or out of reach. You’ll learn: why purpose grows from worth, not achievement how purpose affects the nervous system, stress, and longevity why purpose is both psychological and spiritual why your purpose isn’t your job title—it’s how you show up in your life simple practices to approach purpose gently in the new year Laura closes with a grounding blessing, reminding you that you don’t have to earn your purpose. You are here on purpose—and that is enough.

The holidays can stir up more than joy—they can activate old wounds, grief, and loneliness we don’t always talk about. In this episode, Laura gently explores why this season can feel heavy, how family systems and sensory memories pull us back into old roles, and why grief shows up in so many forms. With grounding tools and compassionate guidance, she invites you to move through the holidays with more honesty, choice, and kindness toward yourself. This episode is a soft place to land if the season feels tender.

Politics and faith weren’t meant to be weapons, but windows into the heart. When conversations turn political, it’s easy to choose sides and lose sight of each other. In this week’s episode, Laura will talk about what happens when belonging gets tangled with belief—and how to hold conviction without losing compassion. Maybe the real question isn’t whose side are you on, but how can we stay connected in the middle? What if Jesus didn’t come to take sides—but to take us home to love?

Sometimes forgiveness comes too soon — not because we’re unfaithful, but because we’re afraid. Many of you have been told that good Christians forgive quickly, but what if forgiveness that comes too soon isn’t holy…it’s harm? Your body knows when it’s not ready. Betrayal doesn’t just break trust — it breaks regulation. In this episode, Laura will explore what betrayal does to the nervous system and why true forgiveness starts with safety, honesty, and time — not speed.