Forgive Yourself

There are some wounds that change the course of a life, and some healing journeys that change it again. In this deeply vulnerable conversation, I sit down with author and memoirist Heather Conn to talk about surviving childhood incest, the long and layered process of healing, and the unexpected path that eventually led her toward forgiveness. Heather shares how years of therapy, body-based healing, creativity, meditation, writing, and spiritual practice helped her reconnect with herself after trauma disconnected her from her body, emotions, and relationships.Together, we talk about the difference between forgiveness and condoning harm, the complexity of family relationships, the courage it takes to tell the truth, and why healing is never linear. Heather also opens up about the backlash she received after publishing her memoir, “No Letter in Your Pocket,” and why she chose compassion anyway.Please take care of yourself as you move through this episode.What You’ll LearnWhy forgiveness is not the same thing as excusing harmHow compassion and accountability can coexistWhat “bearing witness” means in healing traumaThe impact of family silence and emotional suppressionWhat survivors should consider before telling or publishing their storyHow forgiveness helped Heather reclaim joy, peace, and self-understandingHeather will send a free copy of “No Letter in Your Pocket” to the first message she receives on her website! Visit: www.heatherconn.comGet your copy of “No Letter in Your Pocket”: https://www.amazon.com/Letter-Your-Pocket-Memoir-Biography/dp/177183787XFollow Heather on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/SixStinkyFeetandaSasquatchConnect with Heather LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hconn/Watch "Journey to Forgiveness": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-Ukq86zVdoResources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

Mother guilt is something so many women carry, but rarely say out loud. In this episode, I talk about the kind of guilt that shows up in everyday moments. The guilt of not being present enough, patient enough, or doing enough. The guilt that lingers from the past and the pressure we place on ourselves in the present.But this conversation is not about judging yourself or trying to “just let it go.” It’s about understanding where that guilt comes from, separating it from shame, and beginning to meet yourself with more compassion.What You’ll LearnThe difference between guilt and shame and why it matters for healingWhy mother guilt feels so personal and tied to your sense of selfHow to identify what you actually feel guilty about without turning it into your identityWhat healthy repair looks like and when it is or isn’t possibleHow to stop punishing yourself and begin moving forward with more honesty and careResources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

Giving comes naturally. Receiving does not.In this episode, I’m diving into why receiving can feel so uncomfortable, especially for high-achieving, high-functioning women who are used to being the ones who give, support, and hold everything together.This isn’t just about brushing off compliments. It shows up in your relationships, your work, your business, and even your ability to receive success, opportunities, and financial growth. Receiving requires vulnerability, and if your nervous system learned that it wasn’t safe to be seen, supported, or open, then of course receiving feels unfamiliar. But it isn’t something you earn, it’s something you learn to allow.What You’ll LearnWhy receiving feels uncomfortable (and what your nervous system has to do with it)How overgiving can actually block success, support, and recognitionThe connection between worthiness and your ability to receiveSmall, everyday ways to practice receiving without overwhelmHow to build a sense of safety around being seen, supported, and valuedResources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

When we hear the word dementia, most of us think of loss. Decline. Goodbye. But what if that’s not the full story?In this conversation, I sit down with Marilyn Raichle, who gently challenges everything we think we know about dementia. After being told her whole life to "walk away" when Alzheimer's came, Marilyn, Marilyn did the opposite. She stayed. And what she discovered changed everything.What began as resistance and obligation became something deeply meaningful. Through art, presence, and an unexpected partnership with her mother, Marilyn found connection, creativity, and even joy in a place most of us fear. If you’re walking alongside someone with dementia—or holding regret about how you’ve shown up—this conversation will meet you with compassion, perspective, and hope.What You’ll LearnWhy shifting from “caregiver” to “care partner” changes everythingHow to connect with someone living with dementia (even when it feels hard)The powerful role of art, music, and shared moments in creating connectionWhy “they’re still here” is more than a phrase, it’s a mindsetHow to begin forgiving yourself for what you didn’t know beforeLearn more about Marilyn, and get a copy of her book Don't Walk Away, A Care Partner's Journey, here: https://dontwalkaway.net/Follow Marilyn on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marilyn.raichleConnect with Marilyn on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marilynraichle/ Follow Marilyn on Instagram: instagram.com/raichlem/Resources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

One of the most complicated relationships we have is the relationship with our own body. When chronic illness, pain, injury, or unexpected physical changes show up, many of us quietly begin blaming ourselves or believing our bodies have betrayed us.In this episode, I share how the journey through nerve-damage and chronic pain forced me to confront the harsh inner voices that judged, blamed, and tried to “fix” what felt broken. What I discovered instead was a powerful shift: healing isn’t about fighting your body, it’s about learning to work in partnership with it.Through powerful reflections, compassionate reframes, and practical exercises, I introduce the idea of the “courtroom inside the mind,” the hidden grief that comes with physical change, and how self-forgiveness can transform the way we relate to our bodies.What You’ll LearnWhy chronic illness and physical changes often trigger self-blame and inner criticismThe three invisible griefs that often accompany chronic pain or illnessWhy self-blame creates the illusion of control, and how to release itA simple journaling practice that helps bring compassion into the conversation with your bodyDownload your free Body Forgiveness Workbook here.Resources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

“I thought I’d be further along by now.”That’s a sentence I hear all the time, and if I’m honest, it’s one I’ve said to myself, too.In this episode, I’m talking about the quiet ache so many women carry: the feeling of being behind in life. Behind in our careers. Behind in healing. Behind in love, confidence, health, or fulfillment. On the outside, we may look capable and responsible—often the ones everyone else relies on. But inside, there’s a voice whispering I should have figured this out by now.I want to gently explore where that voice comes from. How the feeling of being behind is often grief in disguise. Grief for the life we imagined. Grief for choices we wish we’d made differently. Grief for years spent surviving instead of thriving. And I talk about how self-forgiveness isn’t about excusing or pretending, it’s about softening our relationship with the past and integrating it with compassion.What You’ll LearnWhy the feeling of being “behind” is often rooted in invisible timelinesHow grief can sit underneath regret and self-judgmentThe hidden cost of being “the strong one” for decadesWhy midlife can actually be a season of readiness and self-trustGentle reframes to help you soften shame and reconnect with yourselfWhy safety and support matter when doing deeper forgiveness work💜 Download your companion worksheets for this episode here.Resources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

When we think about forgiveness, we usually think about other people. But some of the deepest resentment we carry is self-directed, and it often hides as guilt, self-criticism, exhaustion, regret, or a constant feeling that something just isn’t quite right.In this episode, I walk through the 10 most common things we struggle to forgive ourselves for, especially as women in midlife: how we showed up (or didn’t), staying too long or leaving too soon, health and caregiving decisions, repeating old patterns, choosing others over ourselves, and grieving the life we thought we’d have by now.This isn’t about “doing forgiveness right,” rushing to closure, or forcing compassion before you’re ready. It’s about telling the truth kindly, creating safety in your nervous system, and understanding that forgiveness comes after witnessing—not before.What You’ll LearnWhy self-forgiveness is often harder than forgiving others What forgiveness is and isn’t, and why timing matters more than effortHow the nervous system holds onto unresolved experiencesWhy repeating patterns doesn’t mean you’ve failed or regressedHow survival, loyalty, and responsibility shape our past choicesWhy grief and gratitude can coexistResources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

In a world that feels increasingly uncertain, overwhelming, and emotionally charged, how do we stay rooted without bypassing what’s real?In this episode, I explore what it truly means to hold two truths at the same time: acknowledging fear, grief, and instability while also choosing presence, agency, and inner steadiness. Drawing from my personal caregiving journey, recent moments of self-doubt, and a powerful realization sparked by therapy, I reflect on how easily our nervous systems get hijacked and how quickly my inner critic can drown out my wise voice.This conversation is an invitation to come home to yourself. I share the simple, grounding practices I’ve returned to in order to rebuild a foundation that doesn’t collapse when fear shows up—one breath, one choice, one moment at a time.What You’ll LearnHow an activated nervous system fuels comparison, perfectionism, and inner criticismWhy “fantasy thinking” can keep you stuck and disconnected from realityHow to recognize and disengage from the inner critic that assaults your wise voicePractical, non-flashy tools to calm the nervous system (breath, movement, sensory awareness)How journaling, gratitude, and naming what you can control restore a sense of agencyWhy coming home to yourself is an act of peace, not avoidanceResources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

Two years ago, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life: moving my husband into memory care. Last year, I shared the raw shock, grief, and guilt of that first year. This episode is about what the second year has taught me.I thought year two would feel easier. More settled. Instead, it brought new crises, a nervous system stuck on high alert, and an unexpected moment that finally cracked my grief wide open. What followed was a deeper reckoning with loss, with old patterns of over-responsibility, and with the belief that love must be earned through self-sacrifice.This is a reflection on how grief changes over time, how the body decides when it’s safe to feel, and what it looks like to slowly let go without abandoning love, and without abandoning myself..In this episode, you’ll hear about:How grief can shift—and intensify—in the second yearWhy my body stayed in survival mode longer than I expectedHow caregiving can awaken old “good girl” and people-pleasing patternsWhat helped me begin letting go without guiltHow I’m learning to care for myself while still loving deeplyHere are the episodes that I reference in the podcast: Episode 64: A Difference a Year Makes – https://brendareisscoaching.com/2025/01/14/a-difference-a-year-makes/Episode 94: The Good Girl Syndrome – How People-Pleasing Sneaks Into Adulthood (and How We Break Free) – https://brendareisscoaching.com/2025/12/21/the-good-girl-syndrome-how-people-pleasing-sneaks-into-adulthood-and-how-we-break-free/ Resources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

In this deeply vulnerable episode, Brenda opens up about a powerful and unexpected moment in her caregiving journey with her husband, who lives in memory care due to dementia. What began as shock and heartbreak became a profound awakening, revealing a pattern so many high-achieving, caring women carry quietly into adulthood: the Good Girl Syndrome.Brenda explores how early conditioning to be “good” evolves into people-pleasing, over-functioning, emotional suppression, resentment, burnout, and the slow abandonment of our own needs. Through raw storytelling and compassionate reflection, she shares how this pattern showed up for her in real time and how it cracked her open to a deeper layer of grief, truth, and healing. This episode is an invitation to gently notice where you may be carrying too much, silencing yourself, or equating your worth with how much you do for others and to begin loosening those patterns with honesty, self-compassion, and courage.Ready to break free from the good girl pattern? This worksheet is for you: https://therecreationcoach.aweb.page/breaking-free-good-girl-patternWhat You’ll LearnWhat the Good Girl Syndrome really is and how it quietly follows us into adulthoodHow people-pleasing and over-functioning disconnect us from our emotions and needsWhy suppressed grief and resentment often show up through the bodyHow to move through guilt, shame, and emotional overwhelm with compassionPractical, grounding steps to begin reclaiming your voice, honoring your limits, and caring for yourself in a more sustainable wayResources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

I sat down with author and executive coach Laing Rikkers to explore how quiet rituals, creativity, and the natural world can become anchors during our deepest seasons of loss. When Laing’s younger sister died suddenly just months before the world shut down, she found herself searching for a way through overwhelming grief. What began as simple morning walks and unfiltered “morning pages” soon unfolded into Morning Leaves, her beautiful collection of plant-inspired poems and reflections.Laing shares how slowing down helped her reconnect with herself, how creativity became a lifeline, and how she gently released the guilt she carried around her sister’s passing. She also offers the powerful checklist she uses to return to balance when life feels heavy: sleep, eat, steep, walk it, talk it, write it, and pay it forward.What You’ll LearnHow simple daily rituals can create space for healingWhy connecting with nature helps regulate the nervous system and ease emotional overwhelmHow creativity (even if you’ve never seen yourself as “creative”) can transform grief into meaningHow to recognize, release, and forgive the complex guilt that often comes with sudden lossHow finding purpose after loss can keep our loved ones present in our daily livesGet the 2nd Edition of Laing's book Morning Leaves: Cultivating a Life of Beauty, Meaning, and Joy: https://bookshop.org/p/books/morning-leaves-meditations-on-beauty-and-joy-laing-f-rikkers/f8c694a6cc939b5a?ean=9781636284729&next=t&next=t&affiliate=177Connect with Laing on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/laing-rikkersFollow Laing on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/morning_leaves_and_poetry/Resources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

In this episode, I talk with the luminous Harper A. Bailey, whose debut memoir It Was Her poured straight into my heart. We talk about the dream that sparked her writing, the spiritual co-creation behind her pen name, and the moment she realized her story wasn’t just hers, it was meant to unlock stories in others. Harper shares how grief became both her wilderness and her teacher, and how processing isn’t about doing, but about learning to be with ourselves again. This conversation is all about reclaiming the wholeness we’ve always carried but sometimes forget. If you’ve ever felt stuck between the pain of the past and the hope of what could be, this episode is a reminder that you can return home to yourself at any time.What You’ll LearnHow grief can become a doorway back to yourself, not a destination you’re meant to stay inWhy Harper chose a pen name and how it unlocked a deeper spiritual and creative voiceThe difference between doing the work and actually processing your emotionsWhat it looks like to forgive the younger version of yourself and reclaim your wholenessDownload the first chapter of It Was Her: https://www.harperabailey.com/ Get the full book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FMH494DBFollow Harper on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harper_abaileyResources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn

I’ve always believed that forgiveness is the bridge between who we’ve been and who we’re becoming, and today’s conversation is proof of that. I’m joined by Riana Malia, a board-certified neurosomatic practitioner and creator of the Clear to Create method, who helps high-achieving women break free from painful relationship patterns and finally claim the love that matches the life they’ve built.Riana shares her powerful story of betrayal, loss, and rebuilding from the ground up, and how learning to release stored trauma at the cellular level opened the door to deep peace, purpose, and extraordinary love. We talk about why self-forgiveness is often the hardest kind, how to stop repeating old stories, and why true healing begins when you make the invisible visible.If you’ve ever carried shame, guilt, or old pain that keeps you stuck, this episode will remind you: you don’t have to relive the past to release it, you just have to be willing to clear it.What You’ll LearnWhy we must clear before we can create, and how that principle changes everythingThe three layers of forgiveness: others, the ones who didn’t protect us, and ourselvesHow trauma and limiting beliefs become stored in the bodyThe five core emotions to release for lasting healing (anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame)How Riana’s “Clear to Create” and “Quantum Time Release” methods help you rewrite your story without reliving itThe first step toward self-forgiveness and reclaiming your worthDiscover what’s standing between you and extraordinary love with Riana’s free 40-question diagnostic assessment: https://quiz.rianamalia.com/ Connect with Riana on…TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@rianamalia121 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RianaMaliaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/rianamalia/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rianamaliaWebsite: https://rianamalia.comBrilliance Brunch Event Page: https://thebrilliancebrunch.rianamalia.comPodcast Page: https://podcast.rianamalia.comResources:Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60  Brenda’s Website/LinksWebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedIn