
Stop Hinting, Start Asking: The Dear Man Skill for Assertive Communication (DBT mini-season part 7)
From Friendless by James Avramenko
April 14, 2026 · 30 min · Season 8 · Episode 40
About this episode
James discusses the importance of assertive communication and introduces the Dear Man skill for effectively asking for what you need.
Most of us were never taught how to ask for what we need — we were taught how to be nice, how to be agreeable, and how to silently hope the other person would just figure it out. And when they didn't, we either resented them or came in way too hot trying to make up for lost time. In this very special episode, James unpacks interpersonal effectiveness — the DBT module that's less about managing yourself and more about navigating other people, which, let's be honest, is the hard part. He covers how to get clear on what you actually want from a conversation before you open your mouth (spoiler: most of us skip this step), and walks through Dear Man, a structured skill for asking for things clearly, directly, and kindly without being apologetic or aggressive. This is episode seven of the DBT mini-season. You'll come away with: * A framework for identifying your real goal in any difficult conversation (objective, relationship, or self-respect — and why you can only pick one) * A full walkthrough of the Dear Man skill with real examples * A short practice exercise to apply it to one thing you've been avoiding • Email: friendlesspod@gmail.com • Instagram: @friendlesspod…
Topics covered
- assertive communication
- interpersonal effectiveness
- DBT
- Dear Man skill
Keywords
- communication skills
- DBT mini-season
- self-respect
- relationship goals
More episodes of Friendless
- so you're no longer mentally ill...(DBT mini-season finale!) · April 28, 2026 · 25 min
- Celebrating Independent Bookstore Day (with special guests Cathy Jesson & MLA Christine Boyle) · April 24, 2026 · 38 min
- balancing boundaries: the GIVE and FAST approach (DBT mini-season part 8) · April 21, 2026 · 27 min
- A False Sense of Safety: Iona Whishaw on Trust, Community, and the Lies We Tell Ourselves (Live at the Book Warehouse) · April 7, 2026 · 38 min
- when your emotions are lying to you (and what to do instead) DBT mini-season pt.6 · March 31, 2026 · 37 min
- What Is Forgivable? A Conversation With Robyn Harding (Live from the Book Warehouse) · March 24, 2026 · 46 min
Explore listener stats, chart rankings, contacts and more on the Friendless podcast page.