Accountability isn't the Opposite of Compassion

Accountability isn't the Opposite of Compassion

From Heretic Hereafter Podcast by Katharine Strange

February 18, 2026 · 5 min · Season 3 · Episode 9

About this episode

The episode explores the relationship between shame and accountability, emphasizing the need for compassion while maintaining limits on abusive behavior.

We’ve been looking at shame this month. Is it always a bad thing ? And what’s the difference between shame and accountability? In our polarized society, sometimes it feels like we have two choices: you can be a squishy liberal who loves everyone and passively tolerates everything, or you can be a merciless conservative who longs to inflict draconian punishments in an attempt to control the behavior of others. But the more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I think love and accountability are two things that have to live in tension. Heretic Hereafter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Two books are currently influencing my thinking on this topic: Calling In by Loretta Ross, and The Power of Parting by Eamon Dolan. Ross talks about the importance of relationship building and gentleness when confronting others (“calling in” vs. “calling out”) while Dolan stresses that we need not tolerate abusive behavior, even and especially from those closest to us. Both authors, I think, hold this tension: that we can love people and treat their mistakes with kindness while refusing to tolerate ongoing…

People in this episode

Host: Katharine Strange

Topics covered

  • shame
  • accountability
  • compassion
  • polarization
  • relationship building

Keywords

  • shame
  • accountability
  • compassion
  • polarization
  • relationship building
  • calling in
  • calling out

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