How Not To Suck At Divorce

Why Your Divorce Attorney May Not Be Fighting for You (And What You’re Missing About Divorce Law)Feeling like your divorce attorney isn’t fighting hard enough for you? In many divorce cases, the issue isn’t that your attorney is failing you—it’s that family court only allows attorneys to fight for what the law actually supports. If you don’t understand how divorce laws, family court, and legal strategy work, it can feel like your lawyer is rolling over when they may simply be telling you the truth about your case.👉 Before you take your next step, grab the $50 Divorce Crash Course to avoid costly divorce mistakes and make smarter decisions from the start. Typically priced at 150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters.In this mini episode, Andrea and Morgan break down one of the most common frustrations in divorce: feeling like your attorney isn’t advocating hard enough for you. They explain why many clients confuse legal reality with poor representation, how family law actually works, and what it means when your desired outcome is not legally supported.They also cover how strategic attorneys get creative in negotiations, when legal leverage matters more than emotion, and the exact questions you should ask your attorney if you feel frustrated with your case.If you’ve ever wondered whether your lawyer is dropping the ball—or whether the law simply isn’t on your side—this episode will help you understand the difference.In This Episode You Will Learn✅ Why your divorce attorney may not be able to “fight” for everything you want ✅ How family court judges actually make decisions ✅ Why emotions and legal outcomes are often disconnected in divorce ✅ What “legally supported” really means in family law ✅ How strong attorneys get creative when the law doesn’t support your ask ✅ The role negotiation and “sweeteners” play in divorce settlements ✅ The exact questions to ask when you feel frustrated with your attorney💰“You can either spend $50 now… or spend thousands later learning the hard way like we did. Your call. Divorce Crash Course 👇 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseTimestamps(00:00) Why it feels like your attorney isn’t fighting for you (01:25) How family court judges actually make decisions (02:46) Why your emotional truth may not match legal facts (04:30) Why divorce is emotional but family court is not (05:17) The risks of going to trial just to seek retribution (06:07) Why trial can cost you more than it’s worth (07:30) Questions to ask when you want something from your attorney (08:34) What “legally supported” really means (09:22) Why “no” from your attorney is not always game over (10:41) How attorneys get creative in negotiation (11:58) Real examples of strategic negotiation and sweeteners (13:29) The difference between mediocre and strategic attorneys (13:56) Final takeaway: understand the law before judging your attorneyKey Takeaways🔹 Your attorney can only fight for outcomes the law actually supports 🔹 Feeling wronged emotionally does not guarantee legal retribution in divorce court 🔹 Great attorneys tell you the truth—even when you don’t want to hear it 🔹 Negotiation strategy is often more valuable than courtroom drama 🔹 Understanding the law helps you advocate for yourself and avoid wasting moneyAbout the HostsMorgan Stogsdill is the Head of Family Law at one of the largest family law firms in the country, bringing expert legal insight and strategy to every episode.Andrea Rappaport is a comedian and divorce survivor who shares real, unfiltered experiences to help others navigate divorce with clarity, strength, and confidence.Resources:👉 Divorce Crash Course hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course👉 OurFamilyWizard (Co-Parenting App) ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck👉 How to Hire the Right Attorney Guide hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guidesdivorce attorney not fighting for me, family court laws, divorce lawyer advice, divorce legal strategy, family court expectations, divorce attorney communication, divorce negotiation strategy, family law explained, high conflict divorce, divorce settlement strategy, hiring a divorce attorney#DivorceAdvice #FamilyLaw #DivorceAttorney #DivorceStrategy #DivorceHelp #FamilyCourt #LegalAdvice #DivorceSupport #HowNotToSuckAtDivorce #DivorcePodcast

Divorce Mistakes That Cost Thousands: What NOT to Do Before You FileDivorce mistakes can cost you thousands, especially when you don’t understand the divorce process, hiring a divorce lawyer, or how parenting agreements and legal decisions actually work. 👉 Before you take your next step, grab the $50 Divorce Crash Course to avoid costly divorce mistakes and make smarter decisions from the start. Typically priced at 150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters.In this powerful and personal episode, Andrea shares the biggest divorce mistakes she made and what she would do differently.From hiring the wrong attorney to rushing through parenting agreements and making emotional decisions instead of strategic ones, this episode breaks down the real-life consequences of going through divorce blindly. If you’re thinking about divorce or currently in the process, this conversation will help you avoid costly missteps, protect your finances, and make smarter decisions from the start.You’ll learn how to navigate divorce with clarity, avoid common legal and financial pitfalls, and take control of your situation before small mistakes turn into expensive consequences.In This Episode You Will Learn✅ The most expensive divorce mistakes people make early in the process✅ Why hiring the wrong attorney can cost you thousands✅ How emotional decision-making leads to poor legal outcomes✅ What to look for in parenting agreements before signing✅ How to avoid unnecessary legal fees and communication mistakes✅ Why education and preparation can completely change your outcome💰“You can either spend $50 now… or spend thousands later learning the hard way like we did. Your call. Divorce Crash Course 👇 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseTimestamps(00:00) The most expensive divorce mistake: going in blindly(01:32) Waiting too long to take action and ignoring red flags(04:45) Hiring the wrong divorce attorney and why it matters(09:05) Signing agreements without fully understanding them(11:30) Temporary agreements and why they can cost you later(13:49) Lack of education and why it leads to costly mistakes(17:29) Balancing life, dating, and divorce without rushing decisions(18:16) Protecting your kids and setting communication boundaries(20:24) Co-parenting apps and why documentation matters(23:06) Unrealistic expectations and emotional decision-making(27:33) How to avoid costly legal communication mistakes(28:22) How the Divorce Crash Course helps you avoid these mistakesKey Takeaways🔹 Going into divorce without a plan is one of the most expensive mistakes you can make🔹 Hiring the wrong attorney or rushing the decision can lead to long-term financial consequences🔹 Emotional reactions during divorce often result in poor decisions and higher legal fees🔹 Taking time to understand agreements—especially parenting and financial terms—is critical🔹 Education, preparation, and strategy can save you thousands and reduce stress throughout the process👤 About the HostsMorgan Stogsdill is the Head of Family Law at one of the largest family law firms in the country, bringing expert legal insight and strategy to every episode.Andrea Rappaport is a comedian and divorce survivor who shares real, unfiltered experiences to help others navigate divorce with clarity, strength, and confidence.Resources: 👉 Divorce Crash Course hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course👉 OurFamilyWizard (Co-Parenting App) ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck👉 How to Hire the Right Attorney Guide hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guidesdivorce mistakes, divorce lawyer advice, divorce strategy, divorce crash course, parenting agreement divorce, divorce finances, legal mistakes divorce, high conflict divorce, hiring a divorce attorney, divorce help, divorce planning#DivorceAdvice #DivorceMistakes #DivorceCrashCourse #DivorceHelp #DivorceStrategy #FamilyLaw #CoParenting #LifeAfterDivorce #LegalAdvice #DivorceSupport #Podcast

Get the Divorce Crash Course and grab your Balance Sheet Template here!Struggling to get what you want in your divorce? You’re not alone—and the problem may not be what you’re asking for, but how you’re negotiating.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down one of the most common (and costly) mistakes people make during divorce negotiations—and how to fix it.Using a real-life example of “Chad and Brenda,” they explain why disorganized settlement proposals, scattered responses, and multiple documents can quickly derail progress, increase stress, and cost you time and money.You’ll learn how to stay aligned in negotiations, keep proposals clear, and use simple visual tools—like structured documents and balance sheets—to track progress and make smarter decisions.WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:How to negotiate effectively in divorceWhy responding within the same proposal structure mattersThe biggest mistake people make in settlement negotiationsHow to avoid confusion and “losing track” during back-and-forth offersWhy using one document or balance sheet can simplify the entire processHow visual organization can reduce stress and improve outcomesKEY TAKEAWAY:Divorce negotiations aren’t just about what you ask for—they’re about how clearly and strategically you communicate.When everything is organized in one place, you make better decisions, avoid unnecessary conflict, and move the process forward more efficiently.RESOURCES:Want a simple way to organize your divorce finances and negotiations?👉 Grab the Divorce Crash Course (includes a balance sheet template designed to help you stay clear and in control):https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseFINAL THOUGHT:Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Staying organized, asking the right questions, and using the right tools can make all the difference.You’ve got this—and we’ve got you.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseDivorce is overwhelming. Some days you’re strong, focused, and ready to tackle legal decisions. Other days you just need something — anything — to help calm your nervous system and get through the moment.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, host Andrea Rappaport shares three surprisingly simple tools that helped her survive some of the hardest days during her own divorce:Target. Alexa. TikTok.These everyday distractions may sound random, but they can actually help interrupt the emotional spiral that many people experience during divorce. When your brain gets stuck ruminating about things you cannot control, small shifts in your environment can make a big difference.If you’re struggling with loneliness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts during divorce, this episode offers practical — and refreshingly honest — ways to break the cycle.Why Divorce Triggers Emotional SpiralsDivorce often creates a perfect storm of stress:• uncertainty about the future• loneliness and silence at home• repetitive thoughts about the past• emotional overwhelmWhen your brain gets stuck in this loop, it becomes harder to regulate your emotions. Sometimes the healthiest move isn’t deep therapy work — it’s simply interrupting the spiral long enough to reset your nervous system.3 Surprisingly Helpful Divorce Coping Tools1. Target: Get Out of the HouseWhen you're stuck ruminating about your divorce, one of the best things you can do is change your physical environment.Walking around a place like Target gives your brain new visual input — colors, textures, movement — which can interrupt repetitive thought patterns.You don’t need to go on a shopping spree. Just walking through a store, moving your body, and being around other people can lift your mood and help you reset.2. Alexa: Don’t Sit in SilenceSilence can be one of the hardest parts of divorce, especially when you suddenly find yourself living alone.Using a voice assistant like Alexa (or any smart speaker) can help fill that space with:• music• podcasts• random questions• background noiseEven small interactions with sound can help regulate your emotional state and keep your mind from spiraling.3. TikTok: Embrace the DistractionScrolling on TikTok may not be the self-care advice most therapists give — but sometimes distraction is exactly what you need.When you're deep in divorce stress, going down a completely unrelated rabbit hole can give your brain a break from obsessive thinking.The goal isn’t perfection — it’s survival.Bonus Tip: Go Sit at a Bar (Even If You Don’t Drink)One of Andrea’s unexpected coping strategies during divorce was simply sitting at a bar with a laptop or book.Not for drinking — for connection.Bars are one of the few places where casual conversation with strangers still happens. Being around other people, hearing conversations, and interacting with a bartender can break the feeling of isolation many people experience during divorce.The Truth About Divorce Self-CareSome days you’ll make healthy choices:• therapy• journaling• exercise• meditationOther days you just need something that helps the pain stop for a moment — and that’s okay.Divorce is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. And learning how to survive the difficult days is part of the process.Key Takeaways From This Episode• Divorce anxiety often comes from rumination and emotional isolation• Changing your environment can help interrupt negative thought loops• Sound and background noise can reduce feelings of loneliness• Distraction isn’t always unhealthy — sometimes it’s necessary• You don’t have to do everything perfectly to get through divorceRemember ThisYour divorce will end.You won’t be going through this forever. One day you will look back and realize that you survived something incredibly hard — and came out stronger on the other side.And until that day comes, remember:You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseRate our show! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckDivorce can bring out emotions you didn’t even know you had. One minute you're trying to stay calm and take the high road, and the next minute you’re imagining what it would feel like to throat punch your ex. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport talks about what to do when your ex pushes you to your absolute emotional limit. While it might feel satisfying in the moment to lash out, reacting emotionally during the divorce process can make your case more complicated—and a lot more expensive.Instead of reacting impulsively, there are a few powerful ways to redirect that anger and turn it into something far more productive.In this episode, you’ll learn three practical ways to manage intense emotions during divorce, avoid unnecessary conflict, and stay focused on the bigger picture: protecting your outcome and your future.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy reacting emotionally during divorce can backfire legally and financiallyHow writing the angry email you’ll never send can help release frustrationThe importance of shifting from emotional reaction to strategic thinkingWhy understanding your ex’s motivations can help you respond more effectivelyHow moving your energy into action can help regulate intense emotions during divorce3 Things to Do Instead of Throat Punching Your Ex1. Write the email you want to send—but don’t send it. Get the anger out. Write exactly what you want to say. Just don’t hit send. Emotional messages during divorce can easily become evidence that complicates your case.2. Think, don’t feel. When your ex does something that makes you furious, pause and ask yourself: what are they actually trying to accomplish? Understanding their strategy can help you respond more effectively instead of reacting emotionally.3. Do anything that moves the energy out of your body. Anger is energy. Go for a walk, organize something, run an errand, take a class—anything that helps you move through the emotion instead of sitting in it.Divorce Is Emotional—But Strategy MattersDivorce can sometimes feel like psychological warfare. But the more you can shift from emotional reaction to strategic decision-making, the better your outcome will be.A moment of anger may feel satisfying in the short term, but preparation and clear thinking will serve you much better throughout the divorce process.As Andrea says in this episode:Plan more. Cry less.Need More Support During Divorce?If you feel like your divorce process is happening faster than you can keep up with, the Divorce Crash Course can help.Inside the course, we break down the strategy behind divorce—from finances and working with your attorney to custody agreements and avoiding the biggest mistakes people make during the process.The goal is simple: help you protect your sanity, your finances, and your future.Resources MentionedThe Divorce Crash CourseThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce in plain English—so you can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

GET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE!In this mini episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill introduce something they’ve been quietly working on for months: the brand-new Divorce Crash Course (DCC).This project has truly been a labor of love—built to give people going through divorce the information most attorneys simply don’t have time to walk you through.And yes… this episode starts with Andrea surviving a spring break indoor water park, wearing airplane-sized noise-canceling headphones, smelling like pond water, and nearly losing her dignity.But once the laughter settles, Andrea and Morgan dive into something that could change the way you navigate your divorce.The Divorce Crash Course was created to help people avoid the most common—and most expensive—mistakes made during divorce.Because the truth is:Most people enter divorce with no roadmap, no strategy, and no idea what they don’t know yet.That’s where the DCC comes in.What Is the Divorce Crash Course?The Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast paired with a downloadable guidebook designed to walk you step-by-step through the divorce process.Inside the Crash Course, Andrea and Morgan break down the biggest issues people face in divorce and provide practical tools to help you make smarter decisions from the beginning.Unlike typical divorce resources, the DCC combines:a private podcast you can listen to anytimea printable guidebookclickable resources and templatesstep-by-step guidance on navigating divorceThe goal?To give you the same strategic insight Morgan gives her clients in a way that’s accessible, clear, and affordable.Why This Divorce Crash Course Is DifferentAndrea and Morgan spent hours building this program because they know how overwhelming divorce can feel.Instead of leaving people to figure things out alone, the Divorce Crash Course provides:A clear roadmap for navigating divorceGuidance on how to communicate with your attorneyTools to help you save money on legal feesTemplates to organize your finances and parenting plansInsider tips on avoiding costly divorce mistakesAnd thanks to the support of OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink, the program is available for a fraction of what similar legal resources cost.What You'll Learn in the Divorce Crash CourseThe Divorce Crash Course addresses some of the most common questions people have during divorce, including:How to Save Money on Divorce Attorney FeesLearn how to communicate with your attorney efficiently so you’re spending money where it matters most.What to Do With the Family HomeShould you keep the house or sell it? The course walks through how to think about this decision logically and strategically.How to Organize Your Divorce FinancesThe guidebook includes a custom marital balance sheet template that helps you track assets, debts, and financial information before speaking with your attorney.Parenting Plans and Custody AgreementsDivorce often becomes most emotional when discussing parenting time.The course includes:Common court-approved parenting schedulesKey provisions people forget to include in parenting agreementsTips for negotiating custody arrangements effectivelyThe Most Common Divorce MistakesAndrea and Morgan also break down the most frequent—and expensive—mistakes people make during divorce and how to avoid them.What's Included in the Divorce Crash CourseWhen you purchase the Divorce Crash Course, you’ll receive:A private podcast with five guided episodesA downloadable guidebook with clickable resourcesA divorce balance sheet templateCustody schedule examplesTools to help you communicate with your attorney and your exOnce purchased, the private podcast can be added directly to your preferred podcast app so you can listen just like a normal show.Andrea recommends listening to one episode at a time and working through the guidebook alongside it.Frequently Asked Question:Do I Need the New Divorce Crash Course if I Bought the Old One?This is the question Andrea has received most frequently.The answer: Yes, the new Divorce Crash Course is different.While some concepts may overlap with previous guides, this new version contains completely new content, additional tools, and a private podcast format that makes it easier to absorb the information step-by-step.Why Andrea and Morgan Created ThisAndrea went through divorce herself.Morgan has spent nearly two decades practicing family law.Between them, they’ve seen the same painful patterns over and over again:People making expensive mistakes simply because they didn’t know what questions to ask.The Divorce Crash Course was built to change that.It’s designed to give people the knowledge and tools they need to move through divorce with more clarity, confidence, and control.A Little Humor Along the WayThis mini episode wouldn’t be complete without the signature How Not To Suck At Divorce humor.Between discussing the Divorce Crash Course, Andrea shares:Her hatred of indoor water parksThe questionable hygiene of spring break crowdsWearing pilot-style headphones in public to survive the noiseAnd the moment a stranger at Dunkin’ Donuts asked if she was her kids’ great grandmotherBecause if you’re going to survive divorce…You might as well laugh along the way.Where to Get the Divorce Crash CourseYou can purchase the Divorce Crash Course directly through the link below.Once you check out, you’ll receive immediate access to:the private podcastthe downloadable guidebookall templates and resources👉 Get the Divorce Crash Course here: [Insert Link]Need More Support?If you're navigating divorce and looking for support, resources, or community:Join our private communityFollow us on InstagramSend us a DM—we answer themDivorce may feel overwhelming, but you do not have to go through it alone.RememberDivorce is a marathon, not a sprint.You’ve got this.And we’ve got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! <a href="http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Divorce is emotional. It's stressful. And if you're not careful, it can also become incredibly expensive.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares five things you should absolutely never do during a divorce — from serious legal mistakes that can impact your case to a few embarrassing (but very real) moments she experienced during her own divorce.Because when emotions are running high, it’s easy to make decisions that feel good in the moment but can create bigger problems later.Whether you're navigating divorce right now or trying to prepare for what lies ahead, these practical tips will help you avoid common pitfalls and stay focused on what actually matters.Why Divorce Mistakes Can Cost You More Than You ThinkOne of the hardest parts of divorce is that you’re making major legal and financial decisions while under extreme emotional stress.During this episode, Andrea explains why some of the most common divorce mistakes happen when people:react emotionally instead of strategicallyrely on advice from the wrong sourcesallow their ex to provoke them into conflictbring outside people into the legal dramaLearning how to pause, reset, and respond thoughtfully can save you thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees — and a lot of unnecessary stress.The 5 Divorce Mistakes You Should Never Make1. Taking Legal Advice From Friends Who Got Divorced in Another State (or Another Decade)Divorce laws vary dramatically depending on where you live and when the divorce occurs.Andrea explains why taking advice from a friend who was divorced years ago — or in another state — can create unrealistic expectations and costly confusion.For example:Some states are more likely to award long-term alimonyOther states focus on short-term rehabilitative supportProperty division laws vary significantly across jurisdictionsRelying on outdated or out-of-state advice can lead to misunderstandings and expensive conversations with your attorney.2. Speaking in Court When No One Asked You ToDivorce court can be intimidating — especially in the age of virtual hearings.Andrea shares a hilarious (and slightly humiliating) story about accidentally unmuting herself during a Zoom court hearing when the judge was actually addressing an attorney with the same last name.Lesson learned:Never unmute yourself in court unless the judge is speaking directly to you.3. Responding to Threatening Emails ImmediatelyWhen you're in the middle of a divorce, aggressive emails or legal threats can trigger an emotional reaction.But responding immediately is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.Research shows it takes about 20 minutes for your nervous system to reset after a stressful event.Andrea recommends waiting at least an hour before responding, and using that time to regulate your body with simple strategies like:taking a walkdrinking ice-cold waterholding ice to your wristsdoing quick bursts of physical movementResponding calmly and strategically is always better than reacting emotionally.4. Bringing Your New Relationship Into the Divorce DramaDating during divorce happens more often than people admit.But involving your new partner in the details of your divorce can create unnecessary complications.Andrea explains why bringing your new love interest into legal conflicts can:create loyalty conflictsgenerate bad adviceescalate emotional tensionInstead, keep your dating life separate from the legal process whenever possible.5. Believing the Negative Things Your Ex Says About YouPerhaps the most important advice in this episode:Do not internalize the hurtful things your soon-to-be ex says about you during the divorce process.In many cases, these comments are designed to weaken your confidence or gain leverage in negotiations.Divorce is not the time to determine your self-worth.Your job right now is simply to survive the process and move forward.Healing and personal growth come later — after the legal storm has passed.Divorce Is a Marathon, Not a SprintDivorce often feels like an emotional roller coaster.Some days you’ll feel strong and hopeful. Other days you’ll feel completely overwhelmed.That’s normal.The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in this process.The How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast exists to provide practical divorce advice, real-life experiences, and the support you need to navigate this difficult chapter with confidence.Coming Up Next on the PodcastIn this week’s full episode, Andrea and Morgan introduce two powerful acronyms designed to help you:respond to threats during divorcemanage aggressive communicationprotect your case while staying calmIf you struggle with how to respond to your ex during divorce, you won’t want to miss it.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Divorce can feel overwhelming, lonely, and emotionally devastating. In fact, during the process it can feel like your entire life has fallen apart — like there’s no way things will ever feel normal again.But what if they do?In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan shares a real story about a client who struggled deeply during his divorce. At the time, he couldn’t imagine life without his marriage and could barely engage in the divorce process.Fast forward a few years, and his life looks completely different.This episode is a reminder that even when divorce feels impossible, there truly is light at the end of the tunnel.If you’re in the middle of divorce, newly divorced, or feeling stuck in the emotional aftermath, this episode is for you.What We Discuss in This EpisodeWhy divorce can feel emotionally debilitatingThe intense fear, overwhelm, and uncertainty that come with ending a marriageA real-life story of a client who struggled deeply during divorceWhy some people shut down during the divorce processHow life can change dramatically in the years after divorceWhy time truly is one of the most powerful healing toolsHow small steps and mindset shifts help you move forwardThe Truth About Divorce That People Don’t Talk AboutDuring divorce, many people feel:Paralyzed by fearOverwhelmed by decisionsEmotionally exhaustedUnsure what life will look like nextIt’s completely normal.Divorce isn’t just legal paperwork or financial negotiations — it’s a major emotional and mental transition.But as Morgan explains, even clients who struggle the most during divorce often look back years later and realize something powerful:Life didn’t fall apart — it changed, and in many cases, it got better.If You're Going Through Divorce Right NowIf you’re listening and thinking:"That might happen for someone else, but not for me."Take a breath.The truth is that healing from divorce doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes it happens slowly — one hour, one day, one step at a time.But you will not feel this way forever.RememberEven when divorce feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through:You are still standing. You are still moving forward. And you will get through this.You’ve got this.And we’ve got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

How do you know when it’s truly time to leave your marriage?In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares the deeply personal story of how she knew her marriage was over — and the warning signs she ignored long before she finally said the words, “I want a divorce.”Andrea talks openly about the quiet red flags that started as whispers, the gut feelings she tried to ignore, and the emotional toll of staying in a relationship that wasn’t healthy or sustainable. If you’re questioning your marriage, feeling lonely in your relationship, or wondering if divorce might be the right next step, this episode offers an honest and compassionate perspective.Sometimes the hardest part of divorce isn’t the legal process — it’s acknowledging what your heart has already been trying to tell you.This episode is about learning to listen to those whispers before they become screams.In This EpisodeAndrea shares:The early red flags she ignored while datingWhy unhealthy relationships can feel familiar and “normal”The emotional experience of living in a marriage that doesn’t feel rightWhat it feels like to avoid going home because the relationship feels so lonelyWhy many people stay in marriages long after they know something is wrongThe moment Andrea finally said “I want a divorce”Why gathering information about divorce can help you feel more empoweredThe importance of having a safe place to talk about what you're going throughIf You’re Wondering Whether It’s Time to Leave Your MarriageIf you're asking yourself questions like:Is my marriage over?Why do I feel so lonely in my relationship?How do I know when it's time to get divorced?What does it feel like when a marriage isn't working anymore?You are not alone. Many people experience the same doubts, fears, and emotional confusion before deciding to leave a marriage.This episode offers a reminder that listening to your instincts and seeking support can help you navigate one of the hardest decisions of your life.Resources MentionedIf you're thinking about divorce, these steps can help you start gathering information and support:Speak with a therapist or trusted professionalTalk to a divorce attorney to understand your optionsConnect with a supportive community of people going through similar experiencesContinue learning about the divorce process so you can make informed decisionsAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce is hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at one of the largest family law firms in the country, and comedian Andrea Rappaport.Each episode helps people navigate divorce with expert guidance, honest conversations, and practical advice so you can avoid the biggest divorce mistakes.Divorce may be overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone.Final ReminderDivorce is a marathon, not a sprint.Some days you need information. Other days you just need to feel seen and heard.And if you're listening to this episode and questioning your marriage, know this:You deserve happiness.And remember:You've got this… and we've got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Living with alcoholism can make you question everything—your judgment, your boundaries, even your reality. If you’re thinking about divorcing an alcoholic (or you’re not ready to leave yet, but you know something has to change), this episode is for you.Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport sit down with Jeff Wright, an insurance brokerage founder and mentor who has helped countless people navigate toxic, alcohol-fueled relationships—shaped by his own childhood experience with an abusive alcoholic parent.Together, they unpack why leaving an alcoholic spouse can feel impossible (even when the situation is clearly unsafe), how trauma bonds keep people stuck, and what “self-preservation” really looks like when you’re trying to protect your children and your sanity.You’ll also learn the practical steps to take before you file: who to talk to (and who not to), how to make a plan quietly, how to build confidence when you feel shattered, and what legal tools can help keep kids safe—including monitoring options like Soberlink, testing, and supervised parenting time.If you’ve been surviving in chaos, consider this your permission slip to stop normalizing it—and start building a path out.What You’ll Learn in This EpisodeWhy living with an alcoholic partner can distort your reality and decision-makingThe real reasons people stay (hint: it’s often not money)What a trauma bond is and why “they hurt you, then hug you” feels like loveHow alcoholism impacts the drinker’s brain—and why denial can be extremeHow to assess your home environment: stress signals, kids’ behavior, and “waiting for them to come home” tensionWhat self-preservation actually means: privacy, planning, and choosing the right supportWhy your divorce attorney is not your therapist—and why you need bothConcrete action steps: quiet planning, go-bag/documents, separate accounts, and rebuilding confidenceLegal tools that can support safety for kids (monitoring/testing options and structured parenting arrangements)Episode Highlights / Timestamps00:00 The reality: alcoholism can make you question your judgment and reality00:57 Sponsor: OurFamilyWizard + discount code02:11 Who this episode is for (especially if you haven’t left yet)03:07 Meet Jeff Wright and why this is his mission06:07 Jeff’s childhood with an abusive alcoholic father (and lasting impact)08:17 Morgan explains why this becomes “normal” when you’re living it10:29 Why people don’t leave: kids, fear, finances, and responsibility12:25 The real trap: limiting beliefs and fear of what others think13:33 Trauma bonds explained in plain language15:33 Proving alcohol abuse legally + testing options18:04 Emotional detachment vs. physical leaving (why it’s the mind that keeps you stuck)20:15 A powerful self-check: what happens when the drinker isn’t home?22:07 Self-preservation #1: don’t tell the wrong people (privacy matters)26:03 Legal tools for safety: Soberlink, testing, supervision29:38 Unpopular truth: your attorney is not your therapist33:34 Jeff’s 3 action steps: plan quietly, keep promises to yourself, build confidence39:55 “Your gut has never lied to you.”41:10 Changing your role in the story—and protecting what your kids learn as “normal”Action Steps (Quick Takeaways)Make a plan quietly. Brick by brick—documents, accounts, go-bag, and a safe place to land.Talk to the right people only. Professionals bound by confidentiality (attorney/therapist), not the rumor mill.Build confidence with tiny wins. Keep promises to yourself—your nervous system needs proof you can trust you.Get the right team. Divorce strategy = attorney. Emotional survival = therapist.Pay attention to the whisper. The red flags don’t get quieter—they escalate.Get Jeff's ebook here: https://flinchnomore.com/Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck20Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

If your ex is still controlling you and you keep reacting, explaining, or trying to keep the peace… you might be actively hurting your legal case without even realizing it.Because here’s the thing: divorce doesn’t cure controlling behavior—it often exposes it. And control doesn’t always look loud. Sometimes it looks “polite.” Sometimes it looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like a thousand tiny moments that make your stomach drop.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport break down what control looks like after separation, why it escalates, and the legal + emotional action steps to shut it down.And yes—there’s also a story involving a tambourine, a fire-lit “happiness class,” and a man casually threatening everyone with a tombstone. (Welcome to the show.)What You’ll Learn in This Episode✅ How control shows up during divorce (even when it’s not obvious)Morgan explains that control can look like:Financial control: “I’ll pay when I feel like it,” monitoring spending, moving goalpostsMicromanaging parenting and second-guessing everything you doWeaponized silence / delayed responses to make you spiralMaking you feel like you need permission for decisions you don’t need permission for“Polite” manipulation disguised as “concern for the kids”Why control often escalates after separationAndrea explains the psychology: when someone loses access and power, they often pull harder—because control is how they regulate their discomfort.The dangerous legal issue most people miss: “splitting”Morgan explains how controlling behavior can drive a wedge between you and your attorney—making you doubt your lawyer, hold back details, or get pulled into the ex’s narrative.That’s not just stressful. It can derail your strategy and cost you serious money. The communication trap that keeps you stuckIf your nervous system is hijacked every time they text you, you’ll default to the old pattern:ReactingOver-explainingTrying to smooth things overTrying to get them to “understand”Which gives them exactly what they want: access.The Tools That Help You Stop the Control1) Tighten the structure (legally + logistically)Morgan explains why vague agreements don’t work with controlling people. Example of vague: “reasonable communication.” Problem: “reasonable” becomes a playground for manipulation.2) Reduce accessBecause (say it with us): control fades when access fades.That may mean:limiting communicationusing a parenting appnot responding to baitpushing communication through proper channels3) Stop JADE-ingAndrea shares the acronym JADE:JustifyingArguingDefendingExplainingMore words = more oxygen = more control.4) Use BIF responsesMorgan shares BIF (from Bill Eddy):BriefInformativeFirmFriendlyThe goal is to respond in a way that doesn’t invite more conflict—and doesn’t make you look unhinged if things end up in court.5) Use OurFamilyWizard (especially for parenting conflict)Morgan explains why a co-parenting app helps:reduces accesscreates recordsprevents chaosprovides structure and timelinesEpisode Takeaways (Your “Do This Now” List)If your stomach drops when they text you, do this:Tell your attorney what’s happening (don’t be embarrassed—this is common)Ask your lawyer how to tighten the structure with clearer court ordersReduce access and stop responding to baitUse JADE + BIF for cleaner communicationIf parenting is involved, get on OurFamilyWizard and stop trying to “co-parent” when you need to parallel parentResources MentionedOurFamilyWizard (court-respected co-parenting communication app)BIF communication method by Bill EddyOur $20 communication guide (how to respond without feeding the chaos)Our free private community for support + questionsAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce is hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest family law firm in the country, and comedian/marketing expert Andrea Rappaport. We help you avoid major divorce mistakes with expert guidance—plus the humor and levity you need to survive it.On your worst days, you’ve got this… and we’ve got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

When your divorce is dragging because the other side won’t respond, it can feel like psychological warfare—especially when kids and money are on the line. In this episode, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport break down what’s actually happening when a divorce case stalls, how to tell the difference between normal delays and strategic stalling, and what to do next.You’ll learn the practical legal steps attorneys use to create structure—like mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, depositions, and discovery strategies—plus the mindset shifts that keep you from spiraling and spending thousands of dollars reacting emotionally. Bottom line: when the time is right, get aggressive—because talk is cheap.Stalling is one of the most common (and most infuriating) divorce experiences, and it happens for a few big reasons:They don’t have their shit together (missing documents, incomplete financials, no affidavit, disorganized life)They think you’ll panic and settle cheap just to end the painIt’s a power play (silence = control, especially with high-conflict people)Their attorney is overwhelmed, under-resourced, or occasionally strategic (timing money events like bonuses, etc.)The good news: stalling isn’t a dead end. It’s a problem that can be solved with structure, strategy, and sometimes court pressure.The First Question to Ask Your LawyerBefore you go scorched earth, ask this exact question:“Is this delay normal… or is this strategic stalling?”Morgan explains that a good attorney can often tell you:whether the other lawyer is just chronically slow/unorganized, orwhether the other side is intentionally dragging things out to wear you down.These two scenarios require totally different responses.What Judges Respond To: Structure + DeadlinesStalled cases usually move when there’s something real on the calendar:court datesmotion hearingstrial datesmediations with firm deadlinesMorgan’s most practical advice:If nothing is moving, push for a trial date. Even if the first date doesn’t “stick,” a real end date creates pressure—and pressure creates movement.Action Steps: What You Can Do When the Other Side Won’t Respond1) Stop guessing. Get clarity.Tell your attorney you’re frustrated and ask:Is this normal?What’s the standard timeline in this jurisdiction?What steps do we take in order if they don’t comply?At what point do we file something?This helps you avoid spending money “going aggressive” too early… only for the judge to give them another two weeks anyway.2) Use mediation for structure (when appropriate)If both parties will participate, mediation can impose deadlines and create structure outside the court’s slow pacing.But if the other side is truly non-cooperative, Morgan’s blunt truth is:“The only road it all leads to is the courthouse.”3) File the motion when it mattersWhen someone repeatedly ignores deadlines, attorneys can file motions that force compliance (example: motion to compel for missing financials or discovery).Morgan’s mantra:“When the time is right, get aggressive. File that motion. Put your money where your mouth is—because talk is cheap.”4) Use discovery to shake them awakeDepending on your state/country, your attorney may be able to use tools like:Subpoenas (banks, employers, third parties)Requests to admit (miss the deadline → deemed admitted in some places)Depositions (sometimes the notice alone changes behavior)Other discovery strategies tailored to what the other side is hiding/protectingKey idea: if they think non-response prevents you from finding things, they’re wrong. You have legal tools.The Mindset Shift That Saves You ThousandsAndrea nails why stalling feels so brutal: silence makes our brain fill in the worst story.But spiraling leads to:emotional प्रतिक्रtionslate-night lawyer textsexpensive back-and-forthmore stress (and less strategy)Their advice:treat it like an office problem: warnings → structure → consequencesdon’t “manage” your ex—you can’tfocus on what you control: your strategy + your next moveUnpopular (but important) truth: Sometimes it’s your lawyer.Andrea and Morgan both acknowledge that sometimes the delay is happening because your attorney isn’t assertive enough.What to do:Tell your lawyer clearly what you expect and ask for a planIf it doesn’t improve, consider switching attorneys or adding support from someone else at the firmYou’re allowed to advocate for yourself.Key TakeawaysFind out if the delay is normal vs. strategicStructure moves stalled cases: deadlines, hearings, trial datesAggression works only when timed correctlyDiscovery tools can force the truth out (even when they stall)Don’t let silence bait you into expensive emotional reactionsSometimes the fix is a better plan—or a stronger attorneyWhat can I do if my spouse won’t respond in a divorce?Talk to your attorney about whether it’s normal delay or stalling. If it’s repeated, attorneys can use mediation deadlines, motions to compel, subpoenas, and setting court/trial dates to force progress.When should I file a motion in divorce?Not every delay requires court action. But repeated missed deadlines and noncompliance often require filing a motion—because court pressure creates structure.Can a divorce be delayed on purpose?Yes. Some people stall as a strategy to wear you down emotionally or financially, or to maintain control.What’s the best way to stop stalling tactics?Structure. Deadlines. And if necessary, court dates and motions.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Find our playlists here: <a href="https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcast" rel="noopener noreferrer"...