How To Deal

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli sits down with Danish parenting expert and bestselling author Jessica Joelle Alexander to tackle one of the most pressing questions facing parents today: how do we raise kids who are safe, healthy, and confident in the digital world — without resorting to fear, shame, or oversimplification? Jessica shares the Danish philosophy behind her work, the story of how she created the Raising Digital Citizens conversation cards, and why connection — not restriction — is the real key to protecting our kids online.Key TakeawaysThe digital world is a real world. Kids experience belonging, friendship, and identity online just as they do in person. Dismissing that reality puts distance between you and your child.Giving a child a phone is like handing them car keys. Preparation, conversation, and a co-created agreement matter far more than the age at which you hand it over.Denmark's education system tests for trivsel (well-being/happiness) — not just academics — because if kids don't feel well, they can't learn well. This philosophy extends to digital life.The most dangerous place for a child online is to feel alone. When kids fear losing their phone or getting in trouble, they won't come to you. Building trust is the ultimate protection.Reframing is everything. Instead of only focusing on the risks of technology, help your kids build a positive digital storyline — creative projects, businesses, fundraisers, and skills are all born online.Fear-based parenting around screens creates the same risk as avoiding conversations about puberty or sex — it leaves kids under-equipped when they inevitably encounter hard situations.Our language trickles down to our kids. When parents shame screen use, kids weaponize it against each other (e.g., calling peers "iPad kids"). We can model nuance and empathy instead.In the age of AI, human skills matter more than ever — and the relationship between parent and child is the foundation of it all.About the GuestJessica Joelle Alexander is a bestselling author, internationally recognized Danish parenting and education expert, cultural researcher, and co-founder of Raising Digital Citizens. Her book The Danish Way of Parenting has been published in over 35 countries and is one of the most widely sold parenting books in the world. She teaches at the University of Copenhagen and her work has been featured in The New York Times, BBC World News, TIME, The Wall Street Journal, and more.🌐 Website: jessicajoellealexander.com📸 Instagram: @jessicajoellealexander💼 LinkedIn: Jessica Joelle AlexanderResources Mentioned🃏 Raising Digital Citizens Conversation Cards — The toolkit Jessica created to help families have meaningful, age-appropriate conversations about digital life. Co-created with psychologists and rooted in Danish digital citizenship education. 👉 raisingdigitalcitizens.com📖 The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle Alexander & Iben Dissing Sandahl — The global bestseller that unpacks the parenting philosophy behind why Denmark consistently ranks as one of the happiest countries on earth. 👉 Amazon | Penguin Random House📖 The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt — The #1 New York Times bestseller examining the collapse of youth mental health in the smartphone era, mentioned in the context of the current fear-based conversation around kids and tech. 👉 Amazon🏢 Common Sense Media — Nonprofit organization providing families and educators with trusted media ratings, digital citizenship curriculum, and research on kids and technology. Jessica attended a recent conference with them in Copenhagen. 👉 commonsensemedia.org🎮 Ash Brandon (Gamer Educator) — Mentioned as a nuanced voice on the skills and benefits kids develop through gaming.Connect with Eli & the ShowLearn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

Episode SummaryWhat if the secret to surviving modern parenting chaos was something you were already born knowing how to do — play? In this warm, funny, and genuinely useful conversation, Eli sits down with Mia Wisinski, founder of Playful Heart Parenting, to explore how playfulness isn't just a "nice to have" — it's one of the most powerful tools we have for co-regulating our kids, building secure attachment, and staying sane ourselves. From silly power reversal games to what to do when you're about to lose it, Mia and Eli swap real-life strategies, honest confessions about their own "demand ruts," and a live round of the jingle game that you'll want to try at home tonight.Key TakeawaysPlayfulness is innate — it just gets "weaned out" of us. Every parent has a playful side; life, culture, and stress just suppress it over time. The good news: it's still there, and your body will remember it when you re-enter playful contexts.Power reversal is the magic key. Letting your kids have the power — pretending to be the confused parent, the butler, the butt-dragged-around-the-room adult — gives kids a sense of autonomy and defuses tension faster than demands ever will.Play doesn't require a time block. The most effective playfulness is woven into ordinary moments: doing the voice of the laundry hamper, turning dish cleanup into a levitation trick, singing your way through a routine. You can be playful while doing what you're already doing.When you're triggered, pause and self-assess first. Before trying to flip into play mode, check in with yourself — most of the time the edge you're feeling has nothing to do with your kids. A little self-compassion ("of course you feel this way") creates the space to pivot.Singing activates the vagus nerve. When you sing instead of bark orders, you literally force a longer exhale and start to move yourself out of fight-or-flight — which makes play more accessible even on hard days.Play can also be a recovery tool. After a hard season or a tough stretch, a silly improv game together is one of the most effective ways to come back to each other and remember what connection feels like.Isolation makes playfulness harder. We were never meant to parent in isolation. If you're struggling to be playful, it might simply mean you need more community — friends, other parents, or even a social feed full of inspiration like Mia's.Kids remember the little silly moments. The random everyday bits of playfulness — like a mom who sings every time she takes her pill — become core memories for children. You don't have to engineer magic moments; just stay present and silly in the small ones.About the GuestMia Wisinski is the founder of Playful Heart Parenting, which she started in 2023 after realizing playfulness was the missing piece in her own parenting. A theater educator, performer, and songwriter, Mia helps families use playfulness as a powerful tool for parent-child regulation and secure attachment — making it easy, sustainable, and genuinely fun for tired parents.🌐 Website: playfulheartparenting.com📸 Instagram: @playfulheartparentingResources Mentioned🎮 Tap Into Play App Bundle (Would You Rather, Plot Twist, You Are, Who Can Sound Like & more — 1,400+ unique prompts): playfulheartparenting.com/php-apps📚 Activate Play Mode Course by Mia Wisinski: playfulheartparenting.com/about-activate-play-mode📓 Uniquely Us: Mother–Daughter Journal by Eli Harwood (ages 8+): attachmentnerd.com/books/uniquely-us | Also on Amazon🔗 Playful Heart Parenting — All Resources: playfulheartparenting.comLearn more about secure parenting:https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli Harwood sits down with Rachael Shepard-Ohta — founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby and host of the No One Told Us podcast — for an honest, research-grounded, and deeply human conversation about infant and toddler sleep. Together, they dismantle the sleep training culture war, explore what science actually tells us about infant sleep variability, and offer practical, compassionate strategies for exhausted parents. No shame, no judgment — just real talk.Key TakeawaysInfant sleep is highly variable and non-linear. Research confirms that sleep does not simply get better week by week — it's a rollercoaster tied to rapid developmental milestones, and this is completely normal.You are not doing it wrong. A regression or bad night is not a sign of parenting failure. It is often just a developmental phase to ride out.The "sunset scaries" are real — and romanticizing your own nighttime routine (podcasts, face masks, fancy tea) can rewire your nervous system to look forward to the hard hours instead of dreading them.Temperament and sensory needs shape sleep more than any particular method. Two kids in the same household, with the same parents and same routines, can be completely different sleepers.Cross-cultural perspective matters. In Japan and other collectivist cultures, co-sleeping is the norm — and those children grow into highly independent individuals, suggesting that the Western rush toward forced infant independence may be backwards.Dependence comes before independence. Kids need to feel they can count on you first — secure attachment and responsiveness are what grow authentic independence, not withholding comfort.There is no one right method. Whether you choose to co-sleep, room-share, use routines, or try a gentler sleep approach — if it feels aligned with your values and your child's temperament, and it's safe, it's valid.Attachment is about overall patterns, not individual hard nights. Two tough days during a sleep transition will not override a foundation of responsiveness and connection.About the GuestRachael Shepard-Ohta is the founder of Hey, Sleepy Baby, a certified sleep consultant with a Master's in Education and certifications in infant-parent mental health. She is also the host of the No One Told Us and You're So Right podcasts, a San Francisco mom of three, and has a book coming out February 2027. Rachael helps families find responsive, attachment-based sleep solutions without guilt or forceful sleep training.🌐 Website: heysleepybaby.com📸 Instagram: @heysleepybaby🎥 YouTube: Hey Sleepy Baby💼 LinkedIn: Rachael Shepard-OhtaResources Mentioned🔬 Infant Sleep Variability Research — Longitudinal Study of Sleep Behavior in Normal Infants During the First Year of Life (Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine, 2014) — Research confirming that infant sleep duration shows high inter-individual variability and does not improve in a linear fashion.🧠 Infant & Toddler Sleep Research Narrative Review (2025) — ScienceDirect — Comprehensive overview of 25 years of infant sleep research, covering developmental shifts, parenting practices, and behavioral sleep interventions.🌍 Co-Sleeping in Context: Japan vs. U.S. Study — PubMed / Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine — Classic cross-cultural study showing that co-sleeping in Japan is not associated with increased sleep problems.🇯🇵 Co-Sleeping: Cultural Norms Around the World — Hey Sleepy Baby Blog — Rachael's own deep-dive into how cultures like Japan approach infant sleep very differently from the U.S.🌡️ Temperament + Sleep Workshop — Hey Sleepy Baby — Rachael's live workshop helping parents decode their child's temperament and sensory style to support better sleep.😴 Sensory Ideas for Better Sleep — Hey Sleepy Baby Blog — Free resource on how sensory needs and temperament affect sleep at every age.🎧 No One Told Us Podcast — Apple Podcasts | Spotify — Rachael's own podcast covering the raw, unfiltered truths of parenthood.📚 Hey Sleepy Baby Free Resources & Guides — heysleepybaby.com — Courses, workshops, 1-on-1 consults, and free blog content.ConnectLearn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

Episode SummaryIn this episode, Eli sits down with Laura, the Foster Parent Partner — author, content creator, and foster care advocate with nearly 300K followers — to have an honest, compassionate conversation about the realities of foster parenting. They explore what it truly means to show up for kids from hard places, how foster parents can survive a broken system, and why even one safe home can change the entire trajectory of a child's life.Key TakeawaysFoster parenting is a life-changing and profoundly disruptive experience — in the best and hardest ways. Honesty about this upfront protects both caregivers and children.Foster parents serve as critical buffers between a child's traumatic past, an imperfect system, and a safer present — and that buffering matters enormously for long-term healing.The small, consistent, everyday moments — rubbing a child's back, making their favorite dinner, laughing together — are not small at all. For kids from hard places, they are revolutionary.Expanding your window of tolerance as a caregiver — not just changing the child's behavior — is the key skill in trauma-informed fostering.Even if you foster a child for a short time, you may be "the one home" they remember as the safe place that helped them heal years later in therapy.The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) framework helps us understand risk factors, and foster parents are one of the most powerful protective factors a child can have.Burnout is common and valid — give yourself grace, ask for help, and focus on what you can control each day.About the GuestLaura — The Foster Parent Partner is a content creator, therapeutic foster parent, and author who supports the foster parenting community with practical, trauma-informed guidance. She has built a community of nearly 300K followers across social platforms and channeled that expertise into her new book, First-Time Fostering: A Practical Guide for Supporting Kids in Foster Care.🌐 Website: fosterparentpartner.com📸 Instagram: @foster.parenting▶️ YouTube: youtube.com/@foster.parenting💼 LinkedIn: Laura Foster Parent PartnerResources Mentioned📗 First-Time Fostering by Laura the Foster Parent Partner — firsttimefostering.com | Amazon🏫 Dr. Karyn Purvis & TBRI® (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) — The research framework behind "kids from hard places" — Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development at TCU📋 ACE Questionnaire (Adverse Childhood Experiences) — The CDC-Kaiser study measuring childhood trauma risk factors and adult health outcomes — CDC ACE Study Overview🧠 EMDR Therapy — Trauma processing protocol referenced by Eli — APA Overview of EMDR | EMDR International Association🔗 Foster Parent Partner Community — fosterparentpartner.comLearn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/Mentioned in this episode:018-intro

How to Deal with Raising Tweens & Teens with Dr. Cara Natterson & Vanessa Kroll BennettEpisode SummaryIf you're a parent staring down the tunnel of adolescence and feeling the dread building — this episode is your permission slip to exhale. Eli sits down with Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Kroll Bennett of Less Awkward for a warm, wildly informative, and surprisingly funny conversation about what puberty actually is, why it's happening earlier than ever, and how to be the parent your tween or teen genuinely needs — even when they're slamming doors and rolling their eyes. Expect real science, real talk, and a boxing metaphor that will change how you show up for your kid.Key TakeawaysAdolescence is not something to survive — it's something to lean into. The mood swings, the push-back, the withdrawal: it's developmental, it's hormonal, and most importantly, it's not personal.Puberty is starting 2–3 years earlier than it did a generation ago. Average onset is now ages 8–9 for girls and 9–10 for boys. The first sign? According to pediatric endocrinologist Louise Greenspan: a slamming door.ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and socioeconomic stress accelerate puberty through chronic cortisol release — not race. Kids of color are often entering puberty earlier, and this intersects with data showing that adults tend to age children of color as older than they are, creating an unfair double burden.Sex hormones surge and drop every 6–12 hours — which is why your kid can seem perfectly reasonable at breakfast and completely dysregulated by dinner. It's not you, it's biology.Your job is to be the corner person, not get in the ring. Like a boxing coach, your role is to offer a place to rest, encouragement, and steady presence — not to fight their battles or fight them.Silence is not rejection. A teen who won't talk still wants you there. Try the car, the walk, the lights-out bedtime check-in — and if all else fails, just sit in silence. Stay.When you mess up (and you will), own it and repair. Research shows kids gain respect for parents who apologize and take do-overs. It also models exactly what we want them to do with their mistakes.Your attitude toward adolescence becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you dread it, they'll become dreadful. Studies show kids absorb the expectations adults project onto them.About the GuestsDr. Cara NattersonDr. Cara Natterson is a pediatrician, speaker, educator, and one of the foremost voices on tween and teen health. She is the Founder and CEO of Less Awkward and the New York Times bestselling author of The Care and Keeping of You series with American Girl.🌐 Website: lessawkward.com📸 Instagram: @less.awkward🐦 Twitter/X: @caranatterson💼 LinkedIn: Cara Natterson📺 YouTube: Less AwkwardVanessa Kroll BennettVanessa Kroll Bennett is a USA Today bestselling author and co-host of the This Is So Awkward podcast. As President of Content at Less Awkward, she helps adults navigate the challenges of raising tweens and teens with joy and humor.🌐 Website: vanessakrollbennett.com📸 Instagram: @vanessakrollbennett🐦 Twitter/X: @vanessakbennett💼 LinkedIn: Vanessa Kroll Bennett📺 YouTube: Less AwkwardResources Mentioned📚 This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained by Dr. Cara Natterson & Vanessa Kroll Bennett — the book discussed throughout this episode (Amazon)🏫 Less Awkward Parent Hub — the comprehensive parent resource platform with courses, community, and an AI puberty Q&A bot🎙️ This Is So Awkward Podcast — Cara & Vanessa's own show on puberty and adolescence (Apple Podcasts)🔬 Herman-Giddens et al., 1997 — Landmark Puberty Study (Pediatrics, 99(4):505–512) — the first large-scale study of 17,000 girls documenting earlier puberty onset, referenced in the episode👩‍⚕️ Dr. Louise Greenspan — pediatric endocrinologist at UCSF, quoted as saying "the first sign of puberty is a slamming door"🧪 The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Adolescent Social Expectations — research on how adult expectations shape teen outcomes (PMC/NCBI)🩺 CDC: Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) — background resource on the ACE framework discussed in the episodeConnect with EliLearn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

Episode SummaryIn this deeply insightful episode, Eli sits down with Tia Gamelin — neurodiversity-affirming pediatric occupational therapist, ADHD coach, and mother of four — to explore the hidden sensory world underneath your child's "difficult" behavior. Together they unpack why behavior is always communication, why there are actually eight senses (not five), and how understanding your child's sensory profile can radically transform your relationship with them — and with yourself as a parent.Key TakeawaysBehavior is communication that comes out sideways. When children act out, they are not being defiant — they are telling us their sensory system is overwhelmed and needs support.There are 8 senses, not 5. In addition to sight, smell, taste, touch, and hearing, children also rely on the vestibular system (inner gyroscope/movement), proprioception (body position in space), and interoception (internal body signals linked to emotional regulation).The sensory traffic jam: In children with sensory processing differences, sensory signals don't travel smoothly — they get "jammed," making the world feel confusing, frightening, and overwhelming.Environment is everything. Tia's EAR Triangle (Environment → Activity → Response) teaches us to look at the physical, temporal, and social environment first before trying to change a child's behavior.Neurodivergence is not a disorder — it's a difference. Dr. Nancy Doyle's research argues that if neurodivergence only created disability, it would not persist in the gene pool. These are specialist thinkers the world needs.Disability vs. impairment: People have impairments; environments create disability. Our job is to modify the environment, not fix the child.Co-regulation is not a crutch. Children — and even adults — borrow regulated states from trusted others. Helping a dysregulated child feel safe IS the intervention.Visual schedules work. When a child is dysregulated, meaningful speech is the first thing they lose. Pictures and visual tools bypass the verbal brain and help organize their world.Guardrails aren't restrictive — they're freeing. Structure and predictability lower the cognitive load for neurodivergent kids so they can actually show up and learn.You are also on this journey. Parenting a neurodivergent child often surfaces your own unidentified sensory needs and processing differences. Grace for yourself is part of the work.About the GuestTia Gamelin, OTR/L, ADHD-CCSP is a mother of four with over 22 years of experience as a neurodiversity-affirming pediatric occupational therapist specializing in sensory integration and supporting twice-exceptional learners. She is passionate about the Montessori approach and brings a holistic, joyful lens to helping kids and families thrive.🌐 Website: Black Bird Therapy Group💼 LinkedIn: Tia Gamelin📸 Instagram: @tiagamelin📧 Email: tia@blackbirdtherapygroup.comResources Mentioned📗 Jean Ayres — Sensory Integration and the Child (25th Anniversary Edition) The foundational text by the mother of sensory integration theory. Essential reading for parents of kids with sensory processing differences. Amazon link🔬 Dr. Nancy Doyle — Neurodiversity at Work: A Biopsychosocial Model and the Impact on Working Adults (British Medical Bulletin, 2020) The peer-reviewed paper Tia references about why neurodivergence persists in the gene pool — and why that matters. Oxford Academic / British Medical Bulletin | PubMed📊 CHADD — ADHD Prevalence Data (1 in 9 children) The source behind the statistic that approximately 1 in 9 U.S. children have been diagnosed with ADHD. CHADD General Prevalence Page📊 CDC — Autism Spectrum Disorder Data (1 in 31 children) CDC's ADDM Network data showing approximately 1 in 31 children aged 8 years have been identified with ASD. CDC ASD Data & Statistics🧠 Interoception & the Insula — Research Overview Research on interoception, the "eighth sense" located in the insula, and its role in emotional regulation. Stanford / Menon Lab (2024) | NIH PMC — Anterior Insular Cortex & Emotional Awareness📉 Negative Comments Research — ADHD & Neurodivergent Children Research (attributed to psychiatrist William W. Dodson) indicating that children with ADHD receive significantly more negative messages by early school age than their neurotypical peers. Free to Be Counselling OverviewLearn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

Episode SummaryDid you know humming can literally lower your heart rate in the middle of a parenting meltdown? In this episode, Eli is joined by bestselling children's music artist and mindfulness expert Kira Willey to unpack the science of why rhythm is one of the most powerful regulation tools available to parents and kids — and how to start using it today. From butterfly taps to transition songs to the Ha Ha Hyena game, Kira shares practical, playful, and science-backed strategies that work with how children's brains actually develop — through music, movement, and imagination. Whether you're in the middle of a chaotic morning routine or trying to head off a bedtime meltdown, this episode will change the way you think about the music already in your life.Key TakeawaysRhythm is structure — the organized, predictable beat of music has a biologically calming effect on the nervous system, even in babies.Humming is a secret superpower — a 2023 study found humming lowers heart rate and increases heart rate variability (HRV), activating the parasympathetic nervous system and reducing stress.Butterfly taps work — rhythmic self-tapping (crossing arms and gently patting your own shoulders) can bring groundedness during moments of high frustration.Music bypasses words — instead of talking at dysregulated kids, music engages entirely different parts of the brain, bringing more attention and focus.Transition songs are magic — a simple song tied to getting in the car, cleaning up toys, or sitting down to dinner creates predictability and reduces meltdowns.Music creates durable memories — information set to melody is remembered differently in the brain. People with dementia can still sing their wedding song when they can't remember family members' names.Singing together releases oxytocin — communal music-making (even just humming or clapping) releases the love and trust hormone, lowers collective heart rate, and builds genuine connection.You are the DJ of your home's vibe — music is the fastest, easiest tool you have to set the emotional tone of any room, any moment.Practice tools before you need them — teach kids breathing games and rhythm exercises during calm times so those tools are ready when big feelings hit.About the GuestKira Willey is an award-winning children's music artist, author, and kids' yoga and mindfulness expert. She is the bestselling author of Breathe Like a Bear and her brand-new book The Joyful Child: Calm the Chaos, Connect with Your Kids, and Create More Happiness in Your Daily Routines. Kira is also the co-creator and host of three PBS mindfulness, music, and yoga television shows and creator of Rockin' Yoga school programs.🌐 Website: kirawilley.com📖 Book Website: thejoyfulchildbook.com📸 Instagram: @kirawilley💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kirawilley🐦 Twitter/X: @kirawilleyResources Mentioned📘 The Joyful Child by Kira Willey — Amazon | Penguin Random House📘 Breathe Like a Bear by Kira Willey — Amazon🔬 2023 Humming/HRV Study (Trivedi et al., Cureus) — Read the study🧠 The HALT Framework (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) — a simple self-check tool for knowing when to pause conflict🎶 Rockin' Yoga School Programs by Kira Willey — kirawilley.com🖨️ Free Mindfulness Printables for Kids (with book order) — kirawilley.comLearn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

Episode SummaryIn this powerful solo episode, Eli Harwood gets real about one of the hardest parenting challenges there is: how do you help your child feel safe and secure when you don't feel safe yourself? Drawing from a deeply personal experience — her six-year-old daughter's unexpected ICU admission — Eli walks through the core principles of attachment-based parenting under pressure. Whether you're navigating a family health crisis, divorce, oppression, or uncertainty in the world, this episode will remind you that your presence is one of the most powerful medicines you can offer your kids.Key TakeawaysYour job isn't to remove fear — it's to make sure your child doesn't feel alone in it. Saying "everything's fine" when it isn't is a dismissal; acknowledging "this feels hard" is connection.Attachment systems exist for moments of threat. Crisis doesn't break attachment — it activates it.Act on what you can control, then become emotional support. Take practical steps to remove real threat, but once you've done what you can, your presence is the intervention.Distinguish removing threat from removing discomfort. We aren't supposed to shield our kids from all discomfort — we're meant to protect them from real danger and walk alongside them through the rest.You cannot pour from an empty cup. Your nervous system needs co-regulation too. Lean on your community so you can show up for your kids.Imperfection is part of the process. Crisis is messy. Keep returning to connection — that returning is what secure attachment feels like to a child.The 'Good Enough Parent' is one who keeps coming back. D.W. Winnicott's concept reminds us that reliability and repair matter far more than perfection.About Eli HarwoodEli Harwood (MA, LPC), known as @attachmentnerd, is a licensed therapist, USA TODAY bestselling author, and Child Psychology Award winner with 19+ years of clinical experience. She is a mom of three and the creator of Attachment Nerd, a community of 1.2M+ caregivers worldwide. Eli translates peer-reviewed attachment research into plain-language tools that help parents build trust, connection, and resilience with their kids — without shame or blame.🌐 Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdResources Mentioned📖 Eli's Newest Book — How to Deal with Your __ So Your Kids Don't Have To (the book referenced in the episode with a chapter on parental loneliness) https://www.amazon.com/Deal-Your-__-Kids-Dont/dp/1632175967📖 Eli's Book — Raising Securely Attached Kids (USA TODAY Bestseller, Child Psychology Award winner) https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Securely-Attached-Kids-Connection-Focused/dp/B0CPDP7DT5📖 Eli's Book — Securely Attached (attachment workbook for adults) https://www.amazon.com/Securely-Attached-Transform-Attachment-Relationships/dp/1632174898🧠 D.W. Winnicott's "Good Enough Mother/Parent" concept — learn more via Wikipedia overview: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_enough_parent🎓 Secure Parenting Program (Pay-What-You-Can) https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programLearn more about secure parenting: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

How to Prepare Your Kids for a World Full of CultsEpisode SummaryIn this powerful episode, host Eli welcomes NXIVM whistleblowers and A Little Bit Culty podcast hosts Sarah Edmondson and Anthony "Nippy" Ames to talk about what cultic abuse actually looks like — and more importantly, what parents can do to help protect their children from it. Together, they explore the psychology of manipulation, the red flags every parent should know, and how raising kids who can question authority may be one of the greatest protective gifts we can give them.Key TakeawaysCults start with inspiration, not coercion. The first step into a high-control group almost always feels meaningful — like joining a movement or community that's changing the world.It can happen to anyone. Cults often recruit high-achieving, charismatic individuals — not just vulnerable or uneducated people. Intelligence is not a shield.The real red flag isn't the group — it's the behavior. Look for: inability to question authority, isolation from family/friends, love bombing, "us vs. them" thinking, and a "one true way" belief system.Teach kids to spot tricky behaviors, not tricky people. Abusers are often well-respected members of society — coaches, pastors, teachers. Teach kids that it's the behavior that's the warning sign, not the person.Secrets vs. surprises. A great framework for kids: surprises feel light and exciting; secrets feel heavy. Secrets are not good for our hearts.Love bombing + future faking = a manipulation pattern. Excessive praise, special treatment, and promises that never come true are a recognizable sequence used by predators.Raising empowered kids is inconvenient — and worth it. Children who are allowed to question authority, express preferences, and push back learn to recognize when something feels wrong.If you're worried about a group, don't go to the leader. Seek out former members, look on Reddit, and find outside voices before confronting the situation from inside.About the GuestsSarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and podcaster who spent 12 years inside NXIVM before blowing the whistle and helping bring down cult leader Keith Raniere. She is featured in HBO's The Vow documentary series and is the author of the memoir Scarred. She co-hosts A Little Bit Culty podcast with her husband Nippy.🌐 Website: alittlebitculty.com📸 Instagram: @sarahedmondson🐦 Twitter/X: @sarahjedmondsonAnthony "Nippy" Ames is a former NXIVM member turned whistleblower, featured prominently in HBO's The Vow. He is the Executive Producer of A Little Bit Culty podcast.🌐 Website: alittlebitculty.com📸 Instagram: @anthonyames11🐦 Twitter/X: @nippyamesResources Mentioned📺 The Vow (HBO Documentary Series) — Watch on Max📚 Scarred by Sarah Edmondson — Amazon | Publisher (Chronicle Books)🎙️ A Little Bit Culty Podcast — alittlebitculty.com📖 Sarah & Nippy's Upcoming Book — Pre-order at sarahedmondson.com/book🕷️ Spot a Spider (Dr. Amy Saltzman's child safety program) — spotaspider.com🧠 Dr. Ramani Durvasula on Future Faking & Narcissism — doctor-ramani.com📖 I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy — AmazonLearn more about secure parenting:https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

How to Deal with Raising a Highly Sensitive or Neurodivergent KidEpisode SummaryEli sits down with Kristin Gallant, co-founder of Big Little Feelings, to dig into one of the most misunderstood parenting challenges: raising a child who feels everything — deeply, loudly, and fully. Together they unpack what it really means to have a "big feeler" in your home, why the goal was never to make sensitive kids less sensitive, and the three most powerful things parents can do to help these kids thrive.Key TakeawaysThere's a spectrum of sensitivity. Big feelers aren't just one type of kid — some push their feelings outward (intensity, drive), others turn them inward (overwhelm, collapse). Knowing your child's pattern matters.First step: rule out or rule in neurodivergence. Many highly sensitive kids are also autistic, have ADHD, or both. Getting clarity on how your child's brain works is one of the most powerful gifts you can give them.Believe your child. When the slide feels terrifying or the smell of salami is physically painful, validate it. Children who are believed learn to trust and advocate for themselves.Teach the Zones of Regulation. Help your child identify what zone they're in (red, yellow, green) and what they need in that state — this is more powerful than simply validating feelings.Diagnosis = understanding, not a verdict. Labels give children language, resources, and permission to stop wondering "what's wrong with me?"Your home can be the safe haven the world isn't. You may not be able to change the world for your big feeler, but you can make home a place where they don't have to mask.Resilience doesn't come from masking. It comes from authentic connection, belonging, and supported coping — not from teaching kids to suppress who they are.Let them bloom on their own timeline. Attuning to your child and meeting their nervous system where it is creates the safety from which real growth — extroversion, advocacy, friendship — can organically emerge.About the GuestKristin Gallant is a parent coach and co-founder of Big Little Feelings, one of the most trusted parenting resources on the internet. Alongside her business partner Deena Margolin (a licensed child therapist), Kristin has created research-backed, parent-approved courses used by over 500,000 families. Diagnosed with ADHD at 37, and a mom to an autistic child, Kristin brings both professional expertise and deeply personal experience to her work. Her newest course, the Big Feelers Program, was built specifically for parents of highly sensitive, ADHD, and autistic kids.🌐 Website: https://biglittlefeelings.com/📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biglittlefeelingsResources Mentioned🎓 Big Feelers Program (Big Little Feelings Course) — The course built for parents of highly sensitive, ADHD, and autistic kids: https://biglittlefeelings.com/products/big-feelers📘 The Zones of Regulation by Leah Kuypers — The self-regulation curriculum referenced in this episode (red zone, yellow zone, green zone framework): https://www.zonesofregulation.com/ Also on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Zones-Regulation-Leah-Kuypers/dp/B008M7E0G8📗 Permission to Feel by Dr. Marc Brackett (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence) — Referenced when discussing the importance of labeling emotions (mentalizing): https://www.amazon.com/Permission-Feel-Unlocking-Emotions-Ourselves/dp/1250212847 Learn more about Marc's work: https://marcbrackett.com/🏫 Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence — Marc Brackett's research center on emotional intelligence: https://medicine.yale.edu/childstudy/communitypartnerships/ycei/Learn More About Secure ParentingReady to build a more secure relationship with your child? https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-programConnect with Eli:Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdMusic by Gold Child: https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

In this powerful conversation, safety expert Dannah Eve, known as The Street Smart Blonde with over 4 million followers, combines her academic knowledge with street smarts to deliver life-saving insights. We explore practical strategies for keeping our families safe without living in constant fear.## Key Takeaways- **Live aware, not in fear** - Dannah's motto emphasizes empowerment over paranoia- **The What If Game** - Turn safety preparation into engaging family activities- **Lying to survive** - Teaching kids when dishonesty protects their safety- **Family code words** - Essential communication tools for emergencies- **Trust your gut instinct** - Developing intuition as a safety muscle- **Connection as protection** - Being your child's safe space builds trust## About the Guest**Dannah Eve** is a trusted safety expert and digital creator known as The Street Smart Blonde. As a former D1 athlete and Summa Cum Laude graduate in Criminology and Psychology, she combines academic knowledge with street smarts to deliver life-saving insights to her rapidly growing audience of over 4 million followers across her social media platforms.**Connect with Dannah:**- Website: [dannaheve.com](https://www.dannaheve.com/)- Instagram: [@dannah_eve](https://www.instagram.com/dannah_eve/)- YouTube: [@dannah_eve](https://www.youtube.com/@dannah_eve)- Twitter: [@dannah_eve](https://x.com/dannah_eve)- LinkedIn: [Dannah Eve](https://www.linkedin.com/in/dannah-eve-434b33193/)## Resources Mentioned- **Street Smarts Book** by Dannah Eve - [Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Street-Smarts-Instincts-Outsmart-Danger/dp/0063438887) | [Barnes & Noble](https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/street-smarts-dannah-eve/1147525519) | [Bookshop.org](https://bookshop.org/p/books/street-smarts-trust-your-instincts-outsmart-danger-and-stay-safe-in-a-world-that-isn-t-dannah-eve/872c84c47df982dc)---**Learn more about secure parenting:**https://www.attachmentnerd.com/secure-parenting-program**Connect with Eli:**- Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd**Music by Gold Child:**https://www.goldchildmusic.com/

Your kid finally learned to regulate their emotions... and then they turned 8 and it all fell apart. Sound familiar?In this episode, Eli sits down with Alyssa Campbell—co-author of the New York Times bestseller Tiny Humans, Big Feelings and her new book Big Kids, Bigger Feelings—to unpack why the pre-teen years hit so differently (and why your biases might be making it worse).They dive into:Why that "calm period" around age 6-7 doesn't last (and what's actually happening in your kid's brain)How to parent when your sensory needs are completely opposite your child'sThe difference between entitlement and dysregulation (spoiler: it's usually the second one)Why "attention-seeking" behavior is actually a need, not a wantA free tool to understand your (and your kid's) unique nervous systemWhether you have neurotypical or neurodivergent kids, this conversation will change how you see those eye rolls, door slams, and "attitudes."Resources mentioned:Take the free Sensory Quiz: seedquiz.comBig Kids, Bigger Feelings by Alyssa CampbellTiny Humans, Big Feelings Learn more about Seed and Sew: LinkMusic by Gold Child - www.goldchildmusic.com

In this insightful talk, Eli explores the multifaceted concept of loss from a child's perspective, providing parents and caregivers with a comprehensive framework to understand and aid children during these challenging times. From the little losses to the big ones, discover strategies and insights to navigate these poignant moments in a child's life.