In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast

AI is being turned to as a replacement for therapy. As a sex therapist who specialises in low libido, I wanted to know - can it actually help with something as nuanced as low sex drive in a marriage?So I put it to the test. I pretended to be a typical client of mine - a woman in a long-term relationship, struggling with low desire and shame around her turn-ons - and turned to both a trained mental health bot and ChatGPT to see what they got right, what they got wrong, and what most people would never notice was missing.We look at what the research says about AI's accuracy in sexual & mental health, why feeling understood isn't necessarily the same as actually being understood, and where AI genuinely helps versus where it might make things like low libido and relationship issues worse.In this episode, we explore:What the research reveals about how AI chatbots actually perform on sexual health and therapy scenariosThe results of my own experiment pretending to be a client struggling with low sex drive and shame around what turns her onHow AI tends to over-validate, skip the questions a sex therapist would ask, and offer solutions before it knows youHow AI can sneakily reinforce the very patterns that create low desire and sexual problems in marriage in the first placeWhen AI is a useful thought partner for relationship and sex issues, and when it falls short of what real therapy does02:44 - My Bias as a Therapist (Let's Be Honest) 06:13 - What the Research Says: AI Chatbot Studies 08:20 - The Experiment: Testing an AI Therapy Bot 11:46 - Test 1 – The Mental Health Bot 13:24 - Test 2 – ChatGPT 20:04 - What ChatGPT Got Wrong 22:03 - Why AI Can't Replace the Therapeutic Relationship 25:54 - AI vs. Self-Help Books: Is It the Same? 31:24 - Final Takeaway: When AI Helps & When It Falls Short Today's studies:Evaluation of Artificial Intelligence Chatbots for Providing Sexual Health Information: A Consensus Study Using Real-World Clinical QueriesPublished in BMC Public Health in 2025.A Comparison of Responses from Human Therapists and LLM-Based ChatbotsPublished in JMIR Mental Health in 2025.The Ability of AI Therapy Bots to Set Limits With Distressed AdolescentsPublished in JMIR Mental Health in 2025.Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

Low desire in women is often treated as a hormonal problem or a relationship one.But what if the problem isn’t low libido persay, but rather a lost connection to your body?In this episode, I talk to psychologist and leading sex researcher Dr. Lori Brotto about the science of mindfulness and why it’s become one of the most effective psychological treatments for low desire and arousal in women.We discuss how mindfulness improves sexual wellbeing, why physical arousal and mental desire don’t always match, and why pills designed to “fix” low desire often fall short.We explore:What mindfulness actually is — and why it’s often misunderstoodWhy improving body awareness (interoception) can influence desireThe research behind mindfulness-based sex therapyWhy physical arousal and mental desire don’t always alignThe limits of medications designed to treat low desireThe role of shame and self-criticism in sexual difficultiesWhy relationship therapy alone often doesn’t resolve sexual problemsWhere to start if you’re curious about using mindfulness to reconnect with desire02:31 - How Dr. Lori Brotto Got Into Sex Research05:29 - What Is Mindfulness, Really?14:34 - How Mindfulness Works for Low Desire18:11 - Arousal Non-Concordance (& Why It Matters?)21:49 - The Problem with Pharmaceutical Solutions24:59 - Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire29:22 - Why Relationship Therapy Alone Often Isn't Enough30:46 - The Mirror Exercise & Confronting Shame33:18 - How Often Should You Practice Mindfulness?37:06 - Mindfulness for Neurodivergent People40:49 - What If You Hate Mindfulness?42:28 - The Hope Effect & Reducing Distress43:34 - Mindfulness Research On Men46:26 - The Importance of Women's Sexual Health Research48:57 - Closing Thoughts: Interoception, Self-Compassion & Why Sexual Health MattersPapers mentioned in this episode: Effects of Group Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy versus Supportive Sex Education on Sexual Concordance and Sexual Response Among Women with Sexual Interest/Arousal DisorderMindfulness-Based Sex Therapy Improves Genital-Subjective Arousal Concordance in Women With Sexual Desire/Arousal DifficultiesGroup mindfulness-based therapy significantly improves sexual desire in womenHomework adherence in mindfulness-based cognitive interventions for female sexual dysfunction: a scoping reviewInterested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

For many neurodivergent people, sex becomes draining or disconnected over time, even when there’s desire and care underneath it all.Sex can start to feel like something you’re being evaluated on — rather than something you get to enjoy.In this episode, I talk with licensed counsellor Bowen Marshall about how ADHD, Autism, masking, and performance expectations affect our sex lives — and why so many people end up feeling like they need to "get sex right", instead of actually feeling pleasure.We specifically talk about:Attachment patterns and sexWhy sex can start to feel like performance rather than pleasureHow masking and self-monitoring undermine sexual connection and pleasureThe role dopamine plays in desire, arousal, and motivationWhy many people don’t know what they enjoy — and why that’s not a failureHow expectations around sex create pressure and anxietyWhat it can look like to shift focus from “doing it right” to what actually feels goodChapters:1:48 - Introducing Bowen Marshall 4:02 - Bowen's Journey into Specializing in Neurodivergence 9:54 - Understanding Masking & Attachment Theory 17:57 - How Masking Shows Up in Relationships 22:42 - The Hot Stove Analogy: Understanding ADHD Challenges 28:55 - Sexual Challenges with ADHD & Autism 33:34 - Performance vs. Connection: When Sex Becomes a Test 38:08 - Dopamine, Motivation & the ADHD Brain 42:41 - Sex, Dopamine & Competing Sources of Pleasure 47:57 - P*rn vs. Partnered Sex: The McDonald's vs. Michelin Analogy 52:43 - Using Kink Language for Better Communication 57:11 - Final Advice: Finding What Feels Good 59:37 - Where to Follow Bowen Marshall 1:00:03 - A Sex Therapist's Reflections: Expectations & Presence 1:05:45 - Closing & Resources Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

If you want sex to feel good again and not have to think about whether you're hard or softening, or whether you're going to have an orgasm soon — this episode gives you clear, usable tools to start moving in that direction.In part two of this series on sexual performance anxiety, I talk with health psychologist and clinical sexologist Dr Evie Kirana about how to deal with sexual performance anxiety. We break down the real mind–body connection (no woo here - just pure physiology!), why you can’t force your erection or orgasm to cooperate, and how to shift from performance pressure to meaningful connection.You’ll learn:Why fighting or hiding your anxiety makes it strongerHow to tolerate anxiety in the moment without shutting downThe four practical steps to deal with sexual performance anxiety in a new clinical modelHow connection-focused goals (instead of "I-have-to-get-this-righ goals") help your body during sexHow partners can support without becoming the “fixer” or the “nurse"Timestamps:01:24 Introducing Dr. Evie Kirana03:50 Gender Differences in Seeking Treatment for Sexual Dysfunction05:30 Understanding Sexual Performance Anxiety (SPA)07:57 Shame and Its Role10:05 Cognitive Reappraisal: Changing Unhelpful Thoughts13:06 Why We Can’t Control Sexual Function (Much Like Other Bodily Functions)15:53 Shifting from Performance Goals to Connection Goals18:44 The 4 Phases of Managing Sexual Performance Anxiety (& How To Do It)25:05 Partner Dynamics and Navigating Progress Together28:08 Why Society Doesn’t Talk About Sexual Performance Anxiety31:45 Key Takeaways from Dr. Evie Kirana's Research34:14 When to Seek Professional Help for Anxiety36:45 Resources: MindMyErection.com38:30 My Sex-Therapist Reflections & Final Thoughts48:17 Outro & Support ResourcesYou can find Dr. Kirana’s free video resources for men & people with penises (and their partners) at MindMyErection.com.The study discussed in this episode is A theoretical model for sexual performance anxiety (SPA) and a clinical approach for its remediation (SPA-R) by Rowland & Kirana, published in Sexual Medicine Review.Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

A quick fix for low libido in women - sounds like a dream, right? Even for me as a sex therapist!In this episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Glen Spielmans about bremelanotide — a medication approved in the US for low sexual desire in women. On paper, it’s designed to target brain receptors linked to desire. But when you look closely at the trials, the story gets a lot more complicated.We get into:How the “statistically significant” results in the trials were actually very small, and why that matters for real-life changeWhat happened when outcome measures were switched after the study was finished — and how that made the drug look more effective than it really wasWhy so many participants dropped out, and what those high dropout rates tell us about tolerability and side effects like nauseaHow measuring something as complex as desire with just two survey questions misses the bigger picture entirelyAnd why solutions for low desire rarely come from quick fixes alone, especially when the underlying issues run deeperThe study discussed in this episode is Small Effects, Questionable Outcomes: Bremelanotide for Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder by Spielmans & Ellefson, published in The Journal of Sex Research.Timestamps:00:29 Meet Dr. Glenn Spielmans – The Truth-Seeker01:47 The “Desire Drug”: What Is It Really Supposed to Do?05:26 How Does This Drug Actually Work? (And Does It?)08:12 Can You Trust the Science? A Peek Behind the Curtain12:00 Does It Really Help? The Real-World Results15:53 Why Did the FDA Approve This?20:00 Measuring Desire: Why It’s So Much Harder Than You Think24:21 Is Anyone Actually Using This Drug?28:01 Controversy, Criticism, and Calling Out the Industry41:33 A Sex Therapist Take: My Thoughts On What This All Means for You, Free Resources & Where to Get HelpDownload the free Desire Test here. Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

Up to 40% of men experience low desire. But it's rarely talked about—in society or relationships. In this episode, I talk with researcher Grace Wang about what really happens when a male partner is dealing with low sexual desire—and how the way we manage (or suppress) difficult emotions can make or break sexual communication in a relationship.We unpack her study on emotion regulation and low sexual desire in men, including why “just regulating your emotions” is a lot harder than it sounds on social media, how societal norms make it even trickier for men to talk about low desire, and why hiding how you feel almost always backfires.You’ll learn:Why suppressing emotions (“putting a mask on”) undermines sexual communication and connectionHow reappraising your emotions (instead of just “thinking positively”) actually helps—when you can do itWhy emotion regulation is a skill that takes real practice (and most of us were never taught how)How our families and cultures shape the way we deal with sexual and emotional challenges as a coupleWhy suppressing “to protect your partner” is usually a recipe for disconnection, not safetyThe study discussed in this episode is Regulate and Communicate: Associations between Emotion Regulation and Sexual Communication among Men with Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and their Partners by Wang et al. and published in The Journal of Sex Research. If you’d like to learn more about Grace Wang’s work, visit the Cash Lab at natalieorosen.comInterested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

How can you tell if a new partner shares your turn-ons — without making it awkward?In this episode, I answer a listener question about casual sex, power dynamics, and the kind of miscommunication that can happen when you don’t talk about your turn-ons out loud. We unpack a qualitative study on how people in BDSM communities use tech (like texting) to express desires, set boundaries, and build trust — especially when things are new or casual.You’ll learn:Why even light power play requires clear communicationHow texting about sex can build connection, not kill itHow to talk about your turn-ons — including different submission styles — without overexplainingThe study covered in this episode is: Sometimes It’s Easier to Type Things Than to Say Them: Technology in BDSM Sexual Partner Communication by Hamm et al., published in Sexuality & Culture.Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

Do you ever feel like your sex drive is just… gone — and you don’t know why?In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Simone Buzwell about how relationship inequity negatively affects female sexual desire — and why fairness outside the bedroom might matter more than you think inside it.We unpack her study on desire, domestic labour, and gender roles — including why same-sex female couples often report higher desire, and what happens when heterosexual couples fall into default patterns neither partner consciously chose.You’ll learn:Why emotional and cognitive labour can erode desire — and how to recognize the invisible loadThe difference between solitary and dyadic desire (and why equity only impacts one of them)How male and female desire differ — and why it's not just biologyThe study covered in this episode is: Fairer Sex: The Role of Relationship Equity in Female Sexual Desire, written by Buzwell et al. and published in The Journal of Sex Research. 📝 Grab your free relationship equity checklist here, created by Malmö Stad, Sweden.Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

Do you ever hesitate to initiate sex because you're afraid of being rejected — or feel guilty for turning your partner down?In this episode, I answer a listener question about how to navigate mismatched libidos and the pain of repeated rejection in a relationship. We unpack the science of sexual rejection, and how it can shape desire, emotional safety, and long-term connection — often in ways couples don’t talk about.You’ll learn: → The most common emotional reactions to sexual rejection — and why some responses shut down intimacy while others build it → What the data shows about how rejection impacts desire over time → A free list of conversation starters to help you open up this conversation with more clarity and less pressureThe study covered in the episode is: Comparing Responses to Sexual Rejection and Sexual and Relationship Well-Being in Couples Coping with Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder and Community Couples, written by Schwenck et al. and can be found here: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2023.2282617#abstract📝 Grab your free exercise connected to this episode here: https://leighnoren.com/podcast-resources🎧 Listen in — and if you find yourself nodding along, pass it on to someone who needs to hear this too.Interested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

If you’ve ever thought, “If we were really right for each other, our sex life would just work”… this episode is for you.In Episode 1 of In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast, I break down a fascinating study on growth vs. destiny beliefs in relationships — and how the way we think about sex shapes everything from satisfaction to resilience.You’ll learn: → Why expecting sex to be effortless can damage connection → How believing sex takes effort is linked to greater support, responsiveness, and satisfaction — especially when things aren’t going smoothly → How to unpack your own beliefs using the free reflection exercise I’ve includedThe study covered in the episode is: Responsiveness in the Face of Sexual Challenges: The Role of Sexual Growth and Destiny Beliefs by Uppot et al, published in The Journal of Sex Research.📝 Grab your free exercise connected to this episode hereInterested in my services? Check them out hereJoin my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here.Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link