Why I Miss My Hallucinations with Kit Wallis aka SchizoKitzo

About this episode

Kit Wallis shares her complex relationship with hallucinations and the grief of losing them after treatment.

Most people think "hearing voices" would be a nightmare symptom of mental illness, but for some, it feels more like a friendship. In the medical world, hallucinations and delusions are symptoms to be eliminated. But for Kit Wallis, the reality of living with schizoaffective disorder is far more complicated. For years, she shared her life with her delusions, including Orion, a "sassy, funny, and supportive" internal voice who helped her study, hyped her up for exams, and ensured she was never truly alone. In a culture that views psychosis through a lens of fear, Kit saw her symptoms as a lifeline. However, when a life-altering psychotic break required antipsychotic medication, the "recovery" came with a devastating price. As the medication began to work, her voices didn't just fade — they "broke up like a bad phone call." Kit didn't just lose her symptoms; she lost her closest friends. Listeners will take-a-way: Understanding the mourning process Kit experienced when medication worked to eliminate her hallucinations Why the medical community often ignores the "positive" aspects of psychosis Kit’s conflict surrounding wanting the voices back while knowing the importance of…

People in this episode

Host: Gabe Howard

Guest: Kit Wallis

Topics covered

• mental health
• hallucinations
• schizoaffective disorder
• psychosis
• treatment
• grief

Keywords

• hallucinations
• schizoaffective disorder
• mental illness
• psychosis
• treatment
• grief
• voices

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Healthline Media

Books & works: Why I Miss My Hallucinations

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