Intentional Fatherhood

Our Seven Deadly Sins series continues with gluttony: the desire to consume beyond what we actually need. That certainly shows up at the table, but also in our scrolling, shopping, and substance consumption. Gluttony is sneaky and easy to dismiss, and since your metabolism can hide both your sins and your virtues, it can go unnoticed for a lifetime. So this conversation is really about the heart. Are you eating to delight in God's creation, or to cope? Or a better question might be: What do you reach for when you're hurting?Food and drink aren't bad in themselves. They're gifts from God. Even in Eden, we were made for dependence, needing food to live, and for delight, enjoying trees that were pleasing to the eye. Gluttony perverts those into excess and shame. Its promise is comfort, but whether we run to food or starve ourselves of it, we're trying to solve some sort of pain that food can't fix, and many people stay spiritually and emotionally stuck because they won't face it. We also walk through Aquinas' five forms of gluttony (eating too soon, too expensively, too much, too eagerly, and too daintily), debate whether smaller vices keep us from larger ones, and hear Justin's framework for feasting, fasting, and "ordinary fare" days.Practical Ways to Fight Gluttony:Take your avoidant consumption more seriously than you think you need to. If you're consuming to change how you feel, you're avoiding something, and you won't heal until you face it.Take gratitude more seriously than you think you need to. Receive good things as gifts, not escapes.Practice the sacred "no." Find out what has become a god by going without it. Skip dessert, leave your phone in another room, or stop eating before you're stuffed.Fast from your favorite thing. Set down whatever you instinctively run to when you're uncomfortable.Pray for self-control. Ask God to grow self-discipline in you.None of us have this dialed in, but we're learning that every craving points to a deeper hunger that only God can satisfy. So instead of numbing the ache, we invite you to face your vices and let Him meet you there.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: Genesis 2:9Books Mentioned: The Body Teaches the Soul by Justin Whitmel Earley + The Supper of the Lamb by Robert Farrar CaponSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

We don't usually call it envy. We call it "just being honest," or "I'm not jealous, I just wish things were different." But envy is sneakier than that. It's a refusal to be content with the life God actually gave us, and it shows up as comparison, insecurity, gossip, and pushing people out. This week continues the Seven Deadly Sins series with a hard look at where envy starts, why it hurts the person feeling it most, and how to fight it with the one thing strong enough to counter it: love.Envy starts with discontentment in your own story, not with someone else's blessing. And here's the part we don't say out loud enough: the primary victim of envy is you. It's easiest to feel toward people close to us, within the same sphere or vocation, which is part of why it shows up so often in the church, where we're quick to rejoice at someone's downfall and slow to rejoice at their win. And it almost always has some sort of wound underneath it: shame, a father wound, or performance-based love. That's why you can't white-knuckle your way out of it. You only defeat envy by practicing its opposite.Six Ways to Reframe Envy as Love:Envy asks, "Why them?" Love says, "Thank God for them."Envy says, "There's not enough." Love says, “God's grace isn't scarce.”Envy says, "I have to compete." Love says, "I get to celebrate."Envy says, "Their success diminishes me." Love says, "Their success blesses us."Envy says, "I wish I had their life." Love says, "I want to steward the life God gave me."Envy says, "Why not me?" Love says, "Good for them."Practices: The Antidote to EnvySpecifically confess the ways you are jealous and envious of people in your life.Stop scrolling.Practice the discipline of gratitude.Practice the discipline of encouragement.Practice celebration.This kind of change happens slowly, and only by the Spirit's work in you, not by trying harder. We spend so much of our lives convinced there's never enough, when half the time we're complaining about a prayer God already answered. Ask yourself if you're wishing you had someone else's career, family, or circumstances. Then let it go. There's always room for more in the kingdom, and your life, the one right in front of you, is the one God is using to shape you.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: James 3:16, Proverbs 14:30, 1 Corinthians 13:4 + Philippians 4:11-13Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

In this episode, we continue our season on work and vocation by tackling one of the most misunderstood words in the Christian life: calling. The thesis is simple but disruptive: you don’t find your calling, you form it. So much of our cultural imagination around vocation runs on what we call the “lightning bolt myth,” the idea that one day clarity will strike, you’ll know exactly what you’re made to do, and the path forward will appear. But that’s not how calling actually works, and waiting for the zap keeps a lot of men stuck living someone else’s life.We lean on a line from Dallas Willard that reframes the whole conversation: “Your job is not your calling; your calling is to become a certain kind of person.” Before vocation is ever a profession, it’s a formation, becoming the kind of person who, like Peter on the water, says, “Lord, if you’re there, call me to yourself.” From that foundation, the question shifts from what am I supposed to do? to who am I becoming, and where is God already at work in my story? Justin shares his own “calling moment” around writing, fatherhood, and being a missionary in China, and how each of those took years, sometimes a decade, to actually take shape. Brook walks through his unexpected path into ministry and Intentional, and how saying yes to something unglamorous turned out to be the doorway into the work he was made for.Along the way, we talk about the danger of succeeding at the wrong life, the way ambition can quietly turn into idolatry, and Carl Jung’s warning that until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our lives and we’ll call it fate. We borrow a helpful framework from Bill Burnett and Dave Evans’ Designing Your Life, the overlap of what you enjoy, what you’re good at, and what the world needs, and we name that talent and even enjoyment are more formable than we tend to think. Calling is iterated, not discovered.We close with one of the most powerful practices we’ve shared on the podcast, Richard Foster’s prayer of relinquishment. It’s the practice of burying your hopes, dreams, and the version of yourself you’ve been chasing, and praying, Lord, resurrect whatever is from you, and let whatever needs to stay dead, stay dead. For many of us, that’s the doorway into actually forming a calling we couldn’t have planned. This conversation is a setup for next week, where we’ll dig into the question this whole episode raises: how do we have ambition without idolatry?Practices:Pray the prayer of relinquishment: bury your hopes, dreams, and ambitions, and ask God to resurrect what is from Him and let whatever needs to stay dead, stay dead.Revisit last week’s exercise and add a third circle: write down three things that give you life, three needs you see in the world, and three things you’re genuinely talented at, then look for where all three overlap.Identify a repeated pattern in your life or family of origin around work and calling, and ask: where did this start, and is it still shaping me?Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: Matthew 14:22-33, Ephesians 2:8-10, Romans 8:28 + Exodus 2-3Books Mentioned: Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans + Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home by Richard FosterSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

Note: This episode contains mature themes that may not be suitable for younger listeners. Please use discretion.In this bonus episode, we sit down live in San Diego to reflect on a powerful Fatherhood Retreat weekend, one marked by vulnerability, confession, and a clear movement of the Spirit. We talk about what it looks like to notice where God is already at work and simply join Him there, and we carry that idea into a conversation around some of the questions we didn’t get to during the retreat.We spend time talking through the tension of work and family life, and how building intentional rhythms and setting up guardrails can help protect what matters most without treating vocation and home as competing priorities. We also discuss the vital role of covenant friendships, especially when confession feels difficult in marriage, and how inviting other men in can lead to wisdom, healing, and the courage to move forward.We talk about the weight of financial stress and how easily it can become tied to our identity, along with the importance of prayer, community, and trusting God’s provision in uncertain seasons. And in some more vulnerable moments, we step into questions around confession, sexual integrity, and communication within marriage, highlighting the importance of honesty with wisdom, and encouraging men to pursue deeper connection with their wives rather than defaulting to isolation.Intentional Parents Episode on Sex: YouTube, Spotify + Apple PodcastsIntentional Fatherhood Episode w/ Lauren Earley: YouTube, Spotify + Apple PodcastsScripture Mentioned: Psalm 23Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Interested in Hosting the Next Intentional Fatherhood Retreat? Fill out this form.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: April 23-25, 2026 in Franklin, TNIntentional Fatherhood WebsiteFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

In this episode, we sit down with Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, one of the most trusted and influential spiritual voices of our time, and someone whose work we deeply admire and return to often. A Catholic priest, theologian, and author, Fr. Rolheiser has spent more than 50 years teaching and writing about prayer, vocation, and the interior life, helping countless people understand how God meets us in ordinary, everyday faithfulness.Now 78 and a cancer survivor of more than a decade, Fr. Rolheiser reflects on this current stage of life and what it means to finish well. Drawing from his framework of getting your life together, giving your life away, and giving your death away, he shares wisdom shaped by experience, suffering, and surrender, reminding us that the way we die is the spirit we leave behind.Much of the conversation centers on restlessness, particularly in midlife. Fr. Rolheiser explains that our restlessness is not something to eliminate but a sign that we are “built too big for this world.” Rather than escaping it, he invites us to listen for what God may be teaching us through it, especially as fathers learning to integrate spiritual life with ordinary responsibilities.We also explore ideas from his book, Domestic Monastery, where daily obligations — alarm clocks, mortgages, and kids’ schedules — become monastic bells calling us to faithfulness. Parents, he says, don’t raise kids; kids raise parents. The episode closes with reflections on surrender without passivity, responsibility without control, righteous anger, and the quiet power of fidelity. His final encouragement is simple and enduring: stay with your commitments, just show up for prayer, and trust that God is at work in your staying.Ronald Rolheiser: Website + Books (New Book: Insane for the Light: A Spirituality for Our Wisdom Years)Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CAFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadScripture Mentioned: John 21:15-19, Mark 15:37 + John 4:21Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser, Sacred Fire by Ronald Rolheiser, Finding God at Home by Ernest Boyer Jr. + Naming the Whirlwind by Langdon GilkeySubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

In this episode, Brook sits down with Ruslan KD — YouTuber, musician, author, cultural commentator, speaker, and father — for a rich and deeply personal conversation around his new book, Godly Ambition: Unlocking the Full Potential of Your Time, Talent, and Treasure. Ruslan shares pieces of his upbringing, from a tumultuous childhood to coming to know Jesus, early marriage, becoming a father, and navigating seasons of financial struggle.We explore the “law of replacement,” the bridge between the supernatural and the super practical, and why ambition — though often misunderstood — is both beautiful and biblical. Ruslan names the tension many men feel between ambition and godliness, pushing back against unhealthy ideas around Sabbath rest, toxic masculinity, and the shame some carry for wanting to pursue more. He reminds us that Sabbath is only meaningful in the context of six days of faithful work, and that Jesus doesn’t rebuke the desire for greatness — He redirects it toward service.Drawing from scripture, we talk about stewarding time, talent, treasure, and even media consumption. Ruslan encourages men to communicate with their families about seasons of busyness, seek guidance and support rather than isolation, and adopt simple practices like replacing meetings with meals.The conversation is honest, practical, and inspiring, offering a fresh perspective on ambition, faith, and spiritual leadership in the home.Ruslan KD: YouTube, Instagram, Godly Ambition: Unlocking the Full Potential of Your Time, Talent, and Treasure + Bless GodVideo with Cory Asbury and Forrest FrankIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CAFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadScripture Mentioned: 1 Thessalonians 4:11, Romans 15:20, 1 Timothy 5:1-16, Proverbs 6:5 + Proverbs 27:2Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

In this episode, we explore the provocative idea of what it means to give your death away — to truly live in light of your mortality. Drawing from the ancient Christian practice of “memento mori” — remembering your death — we talk about how only Christianity can make sense of this uncomfortable reality through the hope of resurrection and eternal life.We discuss what it means to build a legacy within our families, not just by passing on skills that fade, but through wisdom, blessing, and a life rooted in eternal perspective. Inspired by Arthur Brooks’ From Strength to Strength, we reflect on the shift that happens as we age — moving from fluid to crystalized intelligence. Looking to Psalm 92’s promise that the righteous “will bear fruit in old age,” we talk about becoming the kind of person who grows old and sweet rather than old and bitter, someone secure enough to bless and encourage the next generation.This episode centers on the power of blessing — through appropriate touch, a spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, and committing to fulfill it. We also talk about the role of mentorship and discipleship in passing on that blessing — how writing down words of encouragement, sharing wisdom, and investing in others becomes a way of giving your death away. We share a spoken blessing for every part of the body and reflect on the reality that legacy requires humility and the willingness to let go of ego, status, and pride.Because ultimately, the way to life is only through death. The episode closes with a prayer from Psalm 23 — “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing” — and four tangible ways to live this out: order a memento mori, write your obituary, meditate on your death, and extend the years of your age chart.Justin’s Embodied Bedtime Blessing:Bless his feet, may they carry good news.Bless his legs to go on in times of trouble.And bless his back, may it be strong enough to bear the burdens of others.Bless his arms to hold the lonely and his hands to do good work.Bless his neck, would you turn his head to the poor.Bless his ears to discern truth, his mouth to speak encouragement, and his eyes to see beauty.Bless his mind, may he grow wise in the knowledge of you.But above all, Lord, will you bless his heart, may he come to love you and all that you’ve made, in the right order.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CAFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadScripture Mentioned: Psalm 23:1 + Psalm 92:12-15Book Mentioned: From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. BrooksSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to [email protected], mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram