Intentional Fatherhood

In this episode, we continue our season on work and vocation by tackling one of the most misunderstood words in the Christian life: calling. The thesis is simple but disruptive: you don’t find your calling, you form it. So much of our cultural imagination around vocation runs on what we call the “lightning bolt myth,” the idea that one day clarity will strike, you’ll know exactly what you’re made to do, and the path forward will appear. But that’s not how calling actually works, and waiting for the zap keeps a lot of men stuck living someone else’s life.We lean on a line from Dallas Willard that reframes the whole conversation: “Your job is not your calling; your calling is to become a certain kind of person.” Before vocation is ever a profession, it’s a formation, becoming the kind of person who, like Peter on the water, says, “Lord, if you’re there, call me to yourself.” From that foundation, the question shifts from what am I supposed to do? to who am I becoming, and where is God already at work in my story? Justin shares his own “calling moment” around writing, fatherhood, and being a missionary in China, and how each of those took years, sometimes a decade, to actually take shape. Brook walks through his unexpected path into ministry and Intentional, and how saying yes to something unglamorous turned out to be the doorway into the work he was made for.Along the way, we talk about the danger of succeeding at the wrong life, the way ambition can quietly turn into idolatry, and Carl Jung’s warning that until we make the unconscious conscious, it will direct our lives and we’ll call it fate. We borrow a helpful framework from Bill Burnett and Dave Evans’ Designing Your Life, the overlap of what you enjoy, what you’re good at, and what the world needs, and we name that talent and even enjoyment are more formable than we tend to think. Calling is iterated, not discovered.We close with one of the most powerful practices we’ve shared on the podcast, Richard Foster’s prayer of relinquishment. It’s the practice of burying your hopes, dreams, and the version of yourself you’ve been chasing, and praying, Lord, resurrect whatever is from you, and let whatever needs to stay dead, stay dead. For many of us, that’s the doorway into actually forming a calling we couldn’t have planned. This conversation is a setup for next week, where we’ll dig into the question this whole episode raises: how do we have ambition without idolatry?Practices:Pray the prayer of relinquishment: bury your hopes, dreams, and ambitions, and ask God to resurrect what is from Him and let whatever needs to stay dead, stay dead.Revisit last week’s exercise and add a third circle: write down three things that give you life, three needs you see in the world, and three things you’re genuinely talented at, then look for where all three overlap.Identify a repeated pattern in your life or family of origin around work and calling, and ask: where did this start, and is it still shaping me?Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: November 12-14, 2026 in Austin, TXScripture Mentioned: Matthew 14:22-33, Ephesians 2:8-10, Romans 8:28 + Exodus 2-3Books Mentioned: Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans + Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home by Richard FosterSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

Note: This episode contains mature themes that may not be suitable for younger listeners. Please use discretion.In this bonus episode, we sit down live in San Diego to reflect on a powerful Fatherhood Retreat weekend, one marked by vulnerability, confession, and a clear movement of the Spirit. We talk about what it looks like to notice where God is already at work and simply join Him there, and we carry that idea into a conversation around some of the questions we didn’t get to during the retreat.We spend time talking through the tension of work and family life, and how building intentional rhythms and setting up guardrails can help protect what matters most without treating vocation and home as competing priorities. We also discuss the vital role of covenant friendships, especially when confession feels difficult in marriage, and how inviting other men in can lead to wisdom, healing, and the courage to move forward.We talk about the weight of financial stress and how easily it can become tied to our identity, along with the importance of prayer, community, and trusting God’s provision in uncertain seasons. And in some more vulnerable moments, we step into questions around confession, sexual integrity, and communication within marriage, highlighting the importance of honesty with wisdom, and encouraging men to pursue deeper connection with their wives rather than defaulting to isolation.Intentional Parents Episode on Sex: YouTube, Spotify + Apple PodcastsIntentional Fatherhood Episode w/ Lauren Earley: YouTube, Spotify + Apple PodcastsScripture Mentioned: Psalm 23Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Interested in Hosting the Next Intentional Fatherhood Retreat? Fill out this form.Intentional Motherhood Retreat: April 23-25, 2026 in Franklin, TNIntentional Fatherhood WebsiteFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

In this episode, we sit down with Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, one of the most trusted and influential spiritual voices of our time, and someone whose work we deeply admire and return to often. A Catholic priest, theologian, and author, Fr. Rolheiser has spent more than 50 years teaching and writing about prayer, vocation, and the interior life, helping countless people understand how God meets us in ordinary, everyday faithfulness.Now 78 and a cancer survivor of more than a decade, Fr. Rolheiser reflects on this current stage of life and what it means to finish well. Drawing from his framework of getting your life together, giving your life away, and giving your death away, he shares wisdom shaped by experience, suffering, and surrender, reminding us that the way we die is the spirit we leave behind.Much of the conversation centers on restlessness, particularly in midlife. Fr. Rolheiser explains that our restlessness is not something to eliminate but a sign that we are “built too big for this world.” Rather than escaping it, he invites us to listen for what God may be teaching us through it, especially as fathers learning to integrate spiritual life with ordinary responsibilities.We also explore ideas from his book, Domestic Monastery, where daily obligations — alarm clocks, mortgages, and kids’ schedules — become monastic bells calling us to faithfulness. Parents, he says, don’t raise kids; kids raise parents. The episode closes with reflections on surrender without passivity, responsibility without control, righteous anger, and the quiet power of fidelity. His final encouragement is simple and enduring: stay with your commitments, just show up for prayer, and trust that God is at work in your staying.Ronald Rolheiser: Website + Books (New Book: Insane for the Light: A Spirituality for Our Wisdom Years)Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CAFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadScripture Mentioned: John 21:15-19, Mark 15:37 + John 4:21Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser, Sacred Fire by Ronald Rolheiser, Finding God at Home by Ernest Boyer Jr. + Naming the Whirlwind by Langdon GilkeySubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

In this episode, Brook sits down with Ruslan KD — YouTuber, musician, author, cultural commentator, speaker, and father — for a rich and deeply personal conversation around his new book, Godly Ambition: Unlocking the Full Potential of Your Time, Talent, and Treasure. Ruslan shares pieces of his upbringing, from a tumultuous childhood to coming to know Jesus, early marriage, becoming a father, and navigating seasons of financial struggle.We explore the “law of replacement,” the bridge between the supernatural and the super practical, and why ambition — though often misunderstood — is both beautiful and biblical. Ruslan names the tension many men feel between ambition and godliness, pushing back against unhealthy ideas around Sabbath rest, toxic masculinity, and the shame some carry for wanting to pursue more. He reminds us that Sabbath is only meaningful in the context of six days of faithful work, and that Jesus doesn’t rebuke the desire for greatness — He redirects it toward service.Drawing from scripture, we talk about stewarding time, talent, treasure, and even media consumption. Ruslan encourages men to communicate with their families about seasons of busyness, seek guidance and support rather than isolation, and adopt simple practices like replacing meetings with meals.The conversation is honest, practical, and inspiring, offering a fresh perspective on ambition, faith, and spiritual leadership in the home.Ruslan KD: YouTube, Instagram, Godly Ambition: Unlocking the Full Potential of Your Time, Talent, and Treasure + Bless GodVideo with Cory Asbury and Forrest FrankIntentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CAFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadScripture Mentioned: 1 Thessalonians 4:11, Romans 15:20, 1 Timothy 5:1-16, Proverbs 6:5 + Proverbs 27:2Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

In this episode, we explore the provocative idea of what it means to give your death away — to truly live in light of your mortality. Drawing from the ancient Christian practice of “memento mori” — remembering your death — we talk about how only Christianity can make sense of this uncomfortable reality through the hope of resurrection and eternal life.We discuss what it means to build a legacy within our families, not just by passing on skills that fade, but through wisdom, blessing, and a life rooted in eternal perspective. Inspired by Arthur Brooks’ From Strength to Strength, we reflect on the shift that happens as we age — moving from fluid to crystalized intelligence. Looking to Psalm 92’s promise that the righteous “will bear fruit in old age,” we talk about becoming the kind of person who grows old and sweet rather than old and bitter, someone secure enough to bless and encourage the next generation.This episode centers on the power of blessing — through appropriate touch, a spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future, and committing to fulfill it. We also talk about the role of mentorship and discipleship in passing on that blessing — how writing down words of encouragement, sharing wisdom, and investing in others becomes a way of giving your death away. We share a spoken blessing for every part of the body and reflect on the reality that legacy requires humility and the willingness to let go of ego, status, and pride.Because ultimately, the way to life is only through death. The episode closes with a prayer from Psalm 23 — “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing” — and four tangible ways to live this out: order a memento mori, write your obituary, meditate on your death, and extend the years of your age chart.Justin’s Embodied Bedtime Blessing:Bless his feet, may they carry good news.Bless his legs to go on in times of trouble.And bless his back, may it be strong enough to bear the burdens of others.Bless his arms to hold the lonely and his hands to do good work.Bless his neck, would you turn his head to the poor.Bless his ears to discern truth, his mouth to speak encouragement, and his eyes to see beauty.Bless his mind, may he grow wise in the knowledge of you.But above all, Lord, will you bless his heart, may he come to love you and all that you’ve made, in the right order.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CAFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadScripture Mentioned: Psalm 23:1 + Psalm 92:12-15Book Mentioned: From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. BrooksSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

In this episode, we explore what it really means to give your life away — and why it’s the natural next step after getting your life together. Our homes, marriages, and families become our modern monasteries, the sacred spaces where formation happens. God’s goal isn’t our comfort but our transformation into His likeness, a process of self-emptying modeled in Philippians 2:1–11. We suffer in order to be exalted, and few things shape us like marriage and parenting.As we move through adulthood — especially in our late twenties and early thirties — we often face disappointment as we confront who we actually are rather than who we hoped to be. That realization can be painful, but it’s also the soil where joy and sanctification take root. Much of this episode centers around those struggles that keep us from surrendering fully to the life God’s inviting us into, and the freedom that comes when we name them honestly.We reflect on how suffering can make us either hard and bitter or soft and loving, and how choosing surrender over control opens the door to real transformation. Giving your life away will change you — but on the other side of that surrender is a deeper peace and purpose than you could have imagined.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CAFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadMenu of Struggles PDF DownloadScripture Mentioned: Philippians 2:1-11, Matthew 18:2-3 + John 2:1-11Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser + The Meaning of Marriage by Tim KellerSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood WebsiteFollow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

Season 2 of the Intentional Fatherhood Podcast kicks off with a new framework for understanding the journey of spiritual maturity, specifically through the lens of fatherhood. This season, we’re exploring the three great movements of the spiritual life: getting our lives together, giving our lives away, and giving our deaths away.In this first episode, we dig into that first movement: getting our lives together. What does it really mean to move from boyhood to manhood — to take on responsibility, lead with integrity, and build a family — especially when no one ever showed us how? Many of us find ourselves in jobs, routines or situations we don’t love, wondering if this is what life was meant to be. We talk honestly about that struggle and the grace needed when we haven’t been guided through it by a father or mentor.We also explore how following Jesus leads to a fuller, richer life — one that begins with death to self. Despite what culture tells us, the cross reminds us that life isn’t about achievement or comfort, but about surrender, calling us to accept the limitation of our own desires.Using the Family Age Chart tool, we reflect on how each season of life is brief and full of transition — and how those transitions often come with both crisis and calling.This episode lays the foundation for the season ahead: learning how God shapes us through the movements of life, beginning with the hard but holy work of getting our lives together.Intentional Fatherhood Retreat: February 19-21, 2026 in Costa Mesa, CAFamily Age Chart PDF DownloadScripture Mentioned: Proverbs 29:18, Proverbs 24:16, Matthew 16:24, Galatians 5:19, Colossians 3:5 + Luke 9:23Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood Website (for Diagram of Framework)Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

We’re back with a special Q&R episode, answering real questions from fathers navigating the tensions of parenting, faith, and calling. We talk about what to do when you feel isolated in the early years of raising kids, especially when your closest friends aren’t parents yet, and how to create the kind of community your fatherhood needs.We also dive into the power of confession — why it’s deeply biblical, how to start small with someone you trust, and how regular rhythms of honesty can bring freedom and healing.From there, we discuss what it looks like to parent with both authority and love, offering practical ways to set boundaries, repair when you snap, and become a student of your kids — especially if they’re wired differently. We also talk about how essential prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit are in this process, because lovingly discipling our kids isn’t something we can do in our own strength.Finally, we unpack the tension between work and family — setting healthy boundaries, releasing guilt, serving your family, and finding dignity in your calling without sacrificing presence at home.Fatherhood comes with real challenges, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. This episode offers honest conversations and practical tools to help you show up with presence and purpose.Books Mentioned: Domestic Monastery by Ronald Rolheiser + The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel M.D. and Tina Payne BrysonScripture Mentioned: James 5:16, Ephesians 5:8 + Romans 11:22Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood Website (for Diagram of Framework)Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

Fatherhood is more than raising children — it’s about showing up in the world as a worker. You were created to work. Not just to earn a paycheck, but to cultivate, build, and serve others through your vocation.This week, we explore the vocational calling within our Intentional Fatherhood diagram, focusing on God’s original design for work starting in Genesis. From the very beginning, we were made to “garden” the world — to shape it with care and intention.But work isn’t always easy. We talk about the pain, frustration, and resistance we encounter — what Scripture calls the “thorns and thistles” — and how that struggle can actually become a place of deep sanctification. We reflect on the pursuit of the vocational “trifecta”: doing what you’re good at, what you love, and what the world actually needs.Each of us shares personal stories from the early, often hidden years of our careers — seasons marked by uncertainty, obscurity, and growth. Looking back, we see how God used those years to develop humility, dependence, and deeper intimacy with Him.We also wrestle with the tension between overwork and idleness. Sometimes we throw ourselves into our jobs to avoid the demands of home life. But Scripture reminds us: idle hands aren’t the answer either. So how do we stay “busy but balanced”?We get honest about work, purpose, and presence — in our jobs and in our families — in this week’s episode.Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 1, Genesis 3:18 + Lamentations 3:27Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood Website (for Diagram of Framework)Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

Note: This episode contains mature themes that may not be suitable for younger listeners. Please use discretion.We are storied people, living within the grand narrative of the kingdom of God. And as a father, you need to know your story. Not just the highlights or heroic moments — but the whole of it. The truth is, your past shapes your present: in your work, your marriage, your friendships, and your fatherhood. To lead well, you must face the story that formed you — including both your own childhood and the generations that came before.In this powerful episode, we look back to move forward. Together, we explore how our family of origin — with all its beauty and brokenness — deeply influences the families we are building now. Brook opens up about the story he comes from: one marked by abuse, secrecy, and chaos. He shares honestly about the slow and painful work of healing, and how unaddressed generational sin began to surface in his own work, relationships, and family — which nudged him toward the hard work of transformation.Justin shares a different story: one of inherited blessing, and how he nearly squandered it. But ultimately, he chose to surrender and let God build something new from the foundation he was given.Together, we reject the lie that we’re doomed to repeat the past — that we’re destined to become our fathers or perpetuate the cycles we grew up in. Through grace and intentionality, there is a better way. God longs to redeem what’s been broken and restore what’s been lost.This Spirit-led conversation offers practical steps for examining your story, seeking help, and moving toward healing. It’s an invitation to believe in the promise of Joel 2:25: “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.”Scripture Mentioned: Joel 2:25-26, Romans 8:28 + Matthew 25:14-30Books Mentioned: The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction by Justin Whitmel EarleySubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood Website (for Diagram of Framework)Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

Before we can be fathers to our children, we must first learn to live as sons of the Father. The truth is, it’s impossible to be a good father — let alone an intentional one — without the power and presence of the Holy Spirit.In this episode, we explore the essential role of spiritual disciplines in the life of a father. From kneeling prayer to spending what we call “luxurious wasted time in God’s presence,” we share personal rhythms and honest reflections — not lofty ideals, but grounded, consistent, doable practices that shape who we’re becoming as men and as fathers.We talk candidly about the habits that form us, the spiritual reading that challenges us, and why your kids don’t just need your presence — they need a father who’s being formed. Because in the journey of spiritual formation, there is no neutral ground. As Romans 12:2 reminds us, we are either being conformed to the patterns of this world or being transformed by the renewing of our minds.So choose something rather than nothing. Start small. Plant the seed — and trust that the Lord will grow it. Your habits may not earn God’s love, but His love should absolutely reshape your habits. Intentional fatherhood begins with intentional formation. And that starts with being a son.Scripture Mentioned: Romans 12:1-2 + Romans 6:13Books Mentioned: The Common Rule by Justin Whitmel Earley, Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster + Prayer by Richard J. FosterSubmit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood Website (for Diagram of Framework)Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram

Welcome to the Intentional Fatherhood Podcast, hosted by Brook Mosser and Justin Whitmel Earley!In this inaugural episode, we lay the groundwork for the season by introducing the eight core tensions fathers experience as they navigate the many roles of fatherhood. We begin with one of the most painful and universal: the pull toward isolation and the grip of harmful vices.Drawing from our own deeply personal and raw stories, we name what so many men feel but rarely say — that fatherhood can be lonely, disorienting, and filled with private battles. It can involve addiction, anger, a retreat into hiding, and ultimately, fear of who we're becoming.This ache isn’t new — it began in Eden. The moment Adam hid in the garden, we see the first fracture in intimacy between God, man, and others. And like Adam, we still hide when we’re ashamed.But isolation isn’t the end of the story. In this episode, we offer a practical framework for moving out of hiding and into healing — from cultivating covenant friendships to practicing confession and learning the anatomy of a good apology.Most of all, we remind each other of this: you are not alone, and you are not beyond redemption. The Father sees you with empathy, not condemnation. There is a way forward — and we’re walking it together.Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 1-4, Psalm 32:5 + Luke 12:2Submit Questions: Send a voice recording to hello@intentionalfatherhood.org, mentioning your name and where you’re from.Intentional Fatherhood Website (for Diagram of Framework)Follow @intentionalfatherhood_ on InstagramWatch + Subscribe on YouTubeIntentional: Website + InstagramJustin Whitmel Earley: Website + Instagram