Intimate Judaism

How should Orthodox educators address masturbation with teenage boys—and what happens when the message is only about prohibition? Dr. Dan Jacobson offers a thoughtful, experience-based approach that balances halacha, mental health, and the lived reality of adolescents, focusing on reducing shame, fostering responsibility, and speaking about sexuality in a healthier, more honest way. To download a free copy of Dr. Jacobson's booklet, Light in the Darkness: Torani Psychological Perspectives on Shmirat HaBrit, go to drdanjacobson.com.

In this Q&A episode of Intimate Judaism, we respond to honest questions about desire, restraint, identity, mental health, and intimacy within Jewish life. We touch on topics including bisexuality, workplace boundaries, what is permitted within marital intimacy, postpartum depression and low desire, shmirat einayim, and even whether leaving the lights on matters. Throughout, we focus on integrating emotional well-being with halachic integrity, rather than shame or self-erasure.

How can Jewish educators guide teens through questions about bodies, desire, and values without shame or fear? Talli and Scott sit down with Shuli Taubes to discuss why high school education about sex and sexual ethics matters, what healthy frameworks look like, and how schools can partner with parents to raise confident, thoughtful, and compassionate young adults.

Dr. Sara Glass, author of "Kissing Girls on Shabbat" was raised in the Hasidic community of Gur. Today, she is trauma therapist, identifies as queer, and though she is no longer religious herself, works with women along the religious and LGBTQ spectrum. We spoke to Sara about the risks and dangers of sexual experimentation when leaving religious life, and the complexities of integrating being gay and religious.

Orthodox girls and women are traditionally taught to dress modestly in order to avoid attracting the male gaze and to keep men from sinful thoughts or behaviors. These messages, according to Rabbanit Oriya Mevorach, an educator and doctoral student of Gender and Philosophy, objectify and sexualize women and girls, and are actually influenced by Western society's sexuality discourse. Moreover, the effect of these messages present men as sexual beings while female sexuality is ignored. Rabbanit Mevorach, who studies sexuality and culture, presents an alternate approach to teaching modesty to young women in their teenage and young adult years. She also discusses what Jewish law has to say about female masturbation.

In this episode, Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn blend Jewish wisdom with modern psychology to explore marital doubt, intimacy challenges, and when to stay or go. Tune in for practical insights on transforming even the most challenging relationships.

Choosing a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions one makes in life. Yet the process of dating, building a relationship and deciding to marry requires time and good relational skills. Listen as Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss dating and getting engaged.

According to Rav Yoni Rosensweig, founder of Maagalei Nefesh, an organization that confronts issues pertaining to mental health and halacha, "Jewish law is not meant to cause harm." War, mental health concerns, and emotional and relational distress are factors that contribute to the need to seek leniencies in halachic practice in a way that reduces, rather than increases, potential harm. Listen to the premiere episode of Season 7 of Intimate Judaism as Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss mental health, intimacy and Halacha with our guest, Rav Yoni Rosensweig.

Losing one's spouse is one of life's most difficult and painful experiences. The process of grieving includes feelings of loneliness, abandonment, and isolation. While grieving the loss of a spouse, one also mourns the loss of identity as a member of an intimate partnership and acceptance of a new identity as a widow/er. Well-intentioned friends and family members may urge those who have lost a spouse to "move on," while others may pass judgment when they begin to date or find a new partner. We are grateful to Marc Tobin and Jodi Wachspress, both of whom lost their partners to cancer, for sharing their experiences in finding new relationships and providing inspiration to those who have lost their spouses to love again.

After October 7th, Jews around the world have felt besieged by some erstwhile allies, as some have been silent in the face of rampant antisemitism, and others have openly supported Hamas and its genocidal goals. While there have been many who openly support Jews and Israel, the war in Gaza has also provided a moment of reckoning as we discovered some unhappy surprises about people we thought were our friends. A good example is the reaction to October 7th by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, or AASECT. As an organization dedicated to healthy sexuality, and one which has expressed opinions on hot button issues unrelated to its core mission, AASECT certainly should have issued a statement condemning the sexual violence against Israelis on October 7th. That, however, didn't happen for a long time – and even when it did, the statement felt like a giant hedge. As a result, Talli Rosenbaum and some colleagues resigned from AASECT. In this crossover episode with the Orthodox Conundrum, Rabbi Scott Kahn interviewed Talli, psychotherapist Dr. Shoshana Bulow, and sexual educator Dr. Logan Levkoff about some of the ways that the AASECT debacle is, unfortunately, representative of trends that are emerging in the United States. They also discussed the trauma of October 7th and the war both in and out of Israel, as well as the binary thinking that has led to the demonization of Jews, the prevalence of antisemitism, agendas that are embedded in the system to the Jewish people's detriment, the fight against anti-Israel activity across the diaspora, and more.

In last month's episode, we discussed many of the physical, psychological and social factors that can contribute to sexual desire discrepancy in couples. This month, we are taking a deep dive in to the role of emotional intimacy, attachment styles and relational dynamics on desire. Joining us is expert Dr. Laurie Watson, sex therapist, author, and co-host of the popular Foreplay Radio podcast.

As Jews in Israel and worldwide absorb the realities of the horrors of threat, murder and violation, it seems surreal to think or talk about intimacy. Yet, in the face of threat, the safety and security of a committed partnership can be a comforting resource. And in the confrontation with death, people sometimes seek the vitality and life affirming energy that sexual relations provide. Join Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum for a discussion on intimacy, sex and peace in the home during war. Spoiler- it's all normal.

The 15th of Av , also known as Tu B'Av, is a minor Jewish festival which in modern day Israel is celebrated as a holiday of romantic love, not unlike Valentine's Day. In this mini bonus episode, Rabbi Scott Kahn and Talli Rosenbaum discuss the Mishnaic origins of this day, and compare ancient and modern day beliefs about love. To purchase I Am For My Beloved: A Guide To Enhanced Intimacy For Married Couples by Talli Rosenbaum and David Ribner, go to http://www.urimpublications.com/i-am-for-my-beloved-a-guide-to-enhanced-intimacy-for-married-couples.html. For the Hebrew version, go to http://www.urimpublications.com/ani-ledodi-hebrew-edition.html. Books will be discounted to $12.50 each with the promo code BELOVEDPROMO through August 7, 2023, so order your copy today! Show your support for Intimate Judaism by becoming a patron on Patreon! Go to https://www.patreon.com/intimatejudaism to learn more.