Is it Recess Yet? Confessions of a Former Child Prodigy

Wanna unstuck your writing? Sometimes, the hardest part is getting started. We get overwhelmed by self doubt and too many (or too few) ideas as we sit, staring at the blank page. What if I told you that you could write more quickly, with more fun and ease?

Hello friends! I hope you are staying warm and safe out there...So, I have some pretty big news to share: I won a Fulbright Award! This has been a long time coming -- what with Covid wreaking havoc everywhere it was really uncertain whether the Fulbright program would be able to go forward this year. But happily, it worked out for me, so pretty soon I'll be in Korea, working on various projects and I plan to share my adventures here with you! I'm excited and grateful, of course, but also nervous to be embarking on this new chapter of my life, especially during these strange times. At the same time, I feel honored to have this chance to flex my creative courage and share my experiences with you.

Saying “2020 has been a weird year” is an understatement. Nevertheless, I’m really grateful when I look back at the inspiring guests who were generous enough to sit down and chat with me this year. So, I thought, wouldn’t it be great to revisit some of the most popular "Is it Recess Yet?" episodes of 2020? You know how people say that "you should make the thing that you need"? Well, in a lot of ways, I started this podcast thinking about what little Tricia, specifically teenaged Tricia, might've needed way back when, when she was starting out on her creative path. So, the one question I ask all of my guests is “what would you say to your younger self to help them on their journey?” These are some of their answers:

Check out my 2018 podcast interview with performance psychologist, Noa Kageyama, where we learn what he meant at age 2 when he said "oa wike mugas"; what it was like to studying with Mr. Suzuki himself in Japan as a little kid, how inconsistency in his performances lead to his study of performance psychology at Juilliard; how performers can believe that performing poorly means we ‘suck’ as people; what he learned from daydreaming about winning the Lotto; the difference between the ‘critic’ versus the ‘coach’; his surprising reasons for starting his blog; why he’d tell his younger self to play more soccer; and how he answers the question “is it too late?”

In my conversation with composer and musician Kenji Bunch, we discuss the value of listening to all music with respect and curiosity; why he draws parallels between his eclectic approach to music and classically trained food chefs; why improvising and playing in non-classical styles can be really difficult for classical musicians; what it was like to be a bi-racial Asian kid in the 1970's; why giving ourselves permission to fail publicly leads to flexible musicianship and connection; and why improvising is like the movie, "The Matrix."

In my conversation with composer Byron Au Yong, we discuss his works, "Stuck Elevator," "The Ones," and "Activist Songbook," a trilogy that addresses what Americans fear and ways out of oppression; why representation matters and the importance of figuring out alternatives to dominant systems that oppress people; the practice of small, daily activism; and why we need to write our own stories.

In my conversation with composer Augusta Read Thomas, she expresses her heartfelt support of Black Lives Matter; her empathy for the performer in her compositions; why the music profession should be "wildly diverse"; and the three things that one needs to be an excellent composer.

In this conversation with violinist, conductor, and scholar, Sean Wang, we discuss the implicit bias Asians experience in white culture; the burden of assimilation placed on immigrants to adjust their behaviors, customs, and personhood for the comfort of the dominant culture; and why "it seems in order to get to the same place as white colleagues, an Asian has to work almost twice as hard."

Today's special episode features "Ferdinand the Bull" from the beloved children's book “The Story of Ferdinand” by Munro Leaf, illustrated by Robert Lawson. Tricia Park performs the version for solo violin and speaker, composed by Alan Ridout, which includes the original story of Ferdinand, a bull who would rather smell flowers than fight in bullfights. Praised by Gandhi, and Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt, among many others, 30,000 copies of "Ferdinand" were published following the 1945 defeat of Nazi Germany during World War II and they were given out for free in order to encourage peace. This episode is dedicate to "J."

In this conversation with life coach, Shannon Wilkinson, we discuss how we turn to perfectionism to protect ourselves and "stay in the tribe"; how perfectionists may be struggling acutely with the uncertainty of the pandemic; why "taking a breath" and making things "ridiculously easy" is crucial to opening up our ability to problem-solve; and why "play" and cultivating hobbies helps us open up to new possibilities and options.

In this conversation that took place shortly before the pandemic and shelter-in-place order, award-winning writer Mai Der Vang and I discuss why failure is always a way to build resilience; the burden of excellence that many immigrants experience plus the challenges of being a female, P.O.C. writer and academic in the American literary landscape; and the devastation of the Secret War that wreaked havoc on the Hmong people and how this trauma influences her writing, as the child of Hmong immigrants.

In my conversation with audio producer, editor, consultant and teacher, Alexandra DiPalma, we discuss how podcasting can help you push past perfectionism and get your voice heard; Alex's hit podcast, Food 4 Thot, one of the first queer podcasts; and why not putting pressure on ourselves is so important in these times of quarantine and the COVID-19 pandemic.

Here's another short essay, this time about ghosting, heartbreak, and ambiguous loss.