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144 - Reverse Seinfeld for Phlegmless People
May 30, 2026
Unknown duration
143 - A God-Prank Christmas: The Miracle of Obstinacy!
Apr 22, 2026
1h 13m 23s
142 - Heptarchy of Hospitaliano!
Dec 23, 2025
1h 12m 33s
141 - The Great Yiddish Bake Off
Nov 7, 2025
1h 36m 26s
140 - Blind, Incoherent and Metal as Hell
Oct 20, 2025
1h 23m 10s
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| Date | Episode | Topics | Guests | Brands | Places | Keywords | Sponsor | Length | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5/30/26 |  144 - Reverse Seinfeld for Phlegmless People | MAURA QUINT, CHARLES STAR and AARON KLEINMAN return for OY TO THE WORLD! (2025) but wait... Now? … Sufganiyot? … Episode 142 … We'll do it live! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE The happiest Vibecheck of all! … More Jews on this podcast than in Hallmark … Bar/Bat Mitzvah names … Let's get on a list! … J-Pass … Callback to Episode 78 … Pod-leak theory … Careless, mediocre; equality, finally! … Everyone's an alien … "Wet guys" … Maura hated it … "No Jews were consulted to make this movie" … Legible people, diarrhea girl … Self-flagellating home cooking … Joy Luck referential proof-of-life … Half a cast of reverse-Seinfeld … Old Jewish TV grandmas … Markie Post Light … Charles's brain damage… PART TWO Cast Rundown … The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Lifelong high-school talent show phobia … Tension-free, except "but she's Christian!" … Interfaith-positive … An interfaith Christian concert … Good faith interfaith fumbled … Bewitched by Brook D'Orsay … The Catskills? Connecticut? … In a band, that's something … Swarthy Lutheran overflow seating … One church/synagogue handyman … No problems are a problem … Signing with BMG/Columbia… PART THREE Diarrhea at Princeton … A committed lazy river … Ugh, I'm talking to boys; most unbearable female lead … Remembering some abrasive guys … Walt Weiss, Edgar Winter, Nelson … Legible leads, leave them alone … Eh, set it free … You need medication … Immunity-free universe … Should have made the meeting a Zoom … The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: All but the leads, or everyone, or just a place that sucks? … Hotness immunity … Mutually impressed … Same age as dad … Eat Your Heart Out: Sufganiyot cameo; referenced, not shown; kreplach (antisemitic); cooking Hanukkah dinner "all week"; salad with crescent rolls; 25 pounds of interfaith hash browns … House of Goys, stars and 2010s McMansion chic, earnest signage … Nobody Wants This-ass home decor … "Rock Festival" … PART FOUR Oops! All Leftovers: "Joy to the World" + "In God We Trust" … Vibecheck … "Money" … The Lumineers' suffering … Casio presets … MC Skat Kat … Crown Media … "Summer School" … Dream On, Master Blaster … Bowling alleys, fact vs. fiction … Fair use piano bar … The ACME Christmas store … Dog toy from grandma … Bad people, bad flaky white fish … Hanukkah present … Episode 104 callback … Rating: 1 … Problematic age gap … Platonically perfect Hallmark … No lists! … Plugs! … Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Schlep the Halls with Loaves of Challah," by The Three Weissmen. Bluesky Links: Aaron - Charles - Dave - Jeb - Maura | — | ||||||
| 4/22/26 |  143 - A God-Prank Christmas: The Miracle of Obstinacy!✨ | Christmas storiesmovie analysis+3 | — | NXIVM CultCHRISTMAS BEDTIME STORIES ( 2022 )+6 | Florida | Christmashumor+5 | — | 1h 13m 23s | |
| 12/23/25 |  142 - Heptarchy of Hospitaliano!✨ | Christmas themesnostalgia+4 | — | A ROYAL QUEEN'S CHRISTMASCollateral+3 | NYCStaten Island+4 | ChristmasHallmark+5 | — | 1h 12m 33s | |
| 11/7/25 |  141 - The Great Yiddish Bake Off✨ | HanukkahJewish culture+4 | Andy LevyMaura Quint+1 | Hanukkah on RyeFiddler on the Roof+3 | — | latke contestHanukkah+4 | — | 1h 36m 26s | |
| 10/20/25 |  140 - Blind, Incoherent and Metal as Hell✨ | Christmas themesdisability representation+4 | HOLLY ANDERSON | HallmarkCrudbump+4 | Greater Pacific NorthwestAmnesiac Utah+2 | Guiding EmilyChristmas+5 | — | 1h 23m 10s | |
| 10/9/25 |  139 - Snow Crashing the Joe Morgan Moneyball Universe✨ | avalanche safetyHallmark films+3 | — | HallmarkStar Trek: TNG | Glacier National Park | avalanche safetyHallmark+3 | — | 1h 11m 52s | |
| 9/15/25 |  138 - Josie and the Gilrbosses✨ | Christmas moviesromantic plots+4 | — | SISTERHOOD, INC.Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas+4 | — | ChristmasHallmark+6 | — | 1h 12m 22s | |
| 5/20/25 |  137 - Chocopurse Presents: Collateral (All-22 Footage)✨ | Christmas themesmovie discussions+4 | — | Boboli CorporationWells Fargo+4 | Christmastown | Christmasmovies+7 | — | 1h 25m 27s | |
| 2/7/25 |  136 - Gergich in the Machine✨ | Christmas themesHallmark movies+3 | — | HallmarkAmazon+8 | — | ChristmasHallmark+5 | — | 1h 13m 01s | |
| 12/25/24 |  135 - An Open-Faced Hallmark Movie✨ | Hallmark moviesChristmas themes+4 | — | TWAS THE DATE BEFORE CHRISTMAS ( 2024 )Hallmark Expanded Universe+3 | — | HallmarkChristmas+5 | — | 58m 32s | |
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| 11/29/24 |  134 - Giving Millennial Pandering a Hand✨ | ChristmasMillennial culture+4 | DC PIERSON | HallmarkBloodhound Gang+1 | — | ChristmasHallmark+4 | — | 1h 35m 29s | |
| 10/24/24 |  133 - Women Laughing Alone with Christmas (Hockey Edition) | JAMIE KIRSTEN HOWARD lost her credit card and the clerk is CHECKIN IT TWICE (2023), but... We've already got the furry erotica! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Glitterburrito ... Georgia championship hockey ... How Hallmark casting works PART TWO Jamie's Christmas credentials ... Mariah-Grinch Continuum ... Is the Grinch horny? Furry? ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Deal-stealing boyfriend; Team Christmas Week; French-Canadian players ... Just settle! Like the rest of us! ... Covid-fueled throwback ... The Thee/Thou Threshold ... How do you act a story like this well? ... A "being adult and normal" fakeout ... Brain damage PART THREE Spot the Angel: Ashley's dad and Scott's coach ... A literal bible ... Eat Your Heart Out: Grandma's dire eggnog; The Cider Social; awful pastries, sugar drinks; Barbie food; stadium peppermint tea; Sleepytime mascot, pajama gun, candlelit ushers; the Drunken Puck; airport chocolates, airport beer ... Clear hotel lobby store ... Zamboni driving in the Richard Scarry region of the brain ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: French 85 Magazine, "How to Survive Christmas Alone"; hockey tournament/goon clash PART FOUR Overdetermined: Forced credit-card fussiness; "But I'm different"; plot-end collision and bastard father ... False Ray Bourque information ... Scott, winter ignorant ... Crossover: Scott, Deadpool adjacency and sassy Kristen Bell; money and a rewrite away from a real rom-com; Alex Garland's Civil War; LA to Vegas, Idaho Falls to Spokane ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Dave, rowdy child, good eater ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Googe-sound boy; 3 ... Who's the Real Villain: Ambition, cruel fatherhood, misogyny/the bar is THAT low PART FIVE Rating: 3 (non-derogatory) ... "Honestly, I'm fine with this" ... The Leftovers: Non-interruptive work-from-home ... Protagonist's dream/career age ... "Those who can't play, coach" ... A smooth 84 ... Pod Yourself The Wire namedrops ... Gretzky 3:16 ... Plus/Minus and stats annoyance ... Kevin Fair, Get Carter, Josie and the Pussycats, and The Core ... Saw 3-D ... "Idaho Falls" ... Postgame interview BS ... You know how to ruin a cider social ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane. Jamie's Bluesky HERE | — | ||||||
| 6/28/24 |  132 - Leftover Choirs Are How We Get Aunts | Our secret families said it's TIME FOR HER TO COME HOME FOR CHRISTMAS (2023), but first... Let's sing ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Welcome to the cumbersome title, b*tch ... Cocoa in camo ... Throwback movie ... Cast Rundown ... Episode titles greatest hits ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Secret aunt, choir exercises ... Valid Wicker Man ... "A little 'Get Out'" ... PART TWO Spot the Angel: Susan and Pastor John ... Eat Your Heart Out: Oh my God dude; James Bond cocoa; pot-pie protocol; eggnog pancakes; off gluten; peppermint egg cream ... PART THREE The Hallmark Expanded Universe: We don't know where we are; Episode 78, Holiday Date? ... Overdetermined: Mom tells you to let go of your dreams, leave the eggnog carton ... Mom taunting ... Crossover: Safe callback; Glee ... Sports-triumph movies still exist ... PART FOUR The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Matthew, android lead; Alice, choirbot ... Tyler, Kyler, Tyler ... Who's the Real Villain: This movie ... Incredible titles work here ... Rating: 2, throwback movie ... PART FIVE The Leftovers: Executive Producer Blake Shelton ... Tim Allen and Robert Goulet ... "Accordion to Steve's Christmas Polka" ... Foxwoods theme song ... Blake Shelton kickbacks ... Good singers, bad performance ... Grace Leer and Allie Liebert Appreciation Station ... Bus weirdo ... LOT COP ... Prester John ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well" by The Simpsons. Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here. | — | ||||||
| 4/3/24 |  131 - Live, Donut, Repeat | MAURA QUINT & CHARLES STAR get trapped going ROUND AND ROUND (2023) with us, but... Shut up, kids, it's the second episode of Hanukkah! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Chag Sameach ... We regret the errors ... It's good! ... Jew Belong meets war ... Good movie crammed into Hallmark, better than Christmas fare ... Crying at The Rock, Actually ... Jade PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Maura's Monologue; dreidel-dependent f*ckups; dating-help time loop ... Nerd cred ... Your boyfriend/son will explain the nerd thing ... Fake Londoner, Comic Guy ... Double the characters, all matter ... Ashkenazi word load ... Format tweaking, references on the meta knife edge ... Which twist? Who knew? ... Can't hang (with) the DJ ... Jobbed mom ... Welcome back to Bar Mitzvah Chat PART THREE Spot the Angel: Grandma/Busker/Santa? ... Spot the Bard ... Eat Your Heart Out: Food-lite; plot/reality-proportional; "Hanukkah on Rye" callback; Jews as human ... Sufganiyot (reprise): Childhood, Israel, politics, inaccuracy ... Signifying body blows ... People, 2030 ... Blue Christmas ... Candles ... Latke assembly ... No superlatives ... Wine complaint ... Secular Jews, pls PART FOUR Hallmark Expanded Universe: Hanukkah on Rye ... Overdetermined: London-Nerd hookup vs. Time-loop revelations vs. Rachel's nerd cred/purpose/attitude ... Self-uncanny valleying ... Tropes as prison, not skeleton ... Curving tropes in on themselves ... Uncanny to movies, not humanity ... Crossover: Too real; a $10m budget and 30 days; Hellraiser; Granddad Groundhog Day; all Groundhog Days PART FIVE The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Grandpa; the most Methodist mom ... Rating: 5 ... The Leftovers: Jammed-in Santa ... Coda ... Almost famous ... Inclusive casting ... Bryan Greenberg, Rick Hoffman, and Vic Michaelis Appreciation Station ... Feelings at movie scale ... Real pillow-face ... Bears tight end ... Stay off the tollways ... Minion gifs ... Subway signage ... Two-hour novel revision ... Mixtapes ... 7 days ... IMDB Dive: Tamar Laddy ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane, "Schlep the Halls with Loaves of Challah," by The Three Weissmen and "[I'm Spending] Hanukkah in Santa Monica," by Tom Lehrer. | — | ||||||
| 3/22/24 |  130 - Curated Pilot, Dead Lobstermen | MEREDITH CLARK and Jeb travel to CHRISTMAS ISLAND (2023), but... The lighthouse made me so angry ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Attracted to the Menendez Brothers ... Six years of sloth ... Brain-braising movie cred ... "Christmas Neutral" ... Fuck 30 Rock (Geographical) ... "A Christmas Kettling" ... OK glurge, insufficient bonkersocity ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Christmas Guy Oliver, Grandpa Postal Santa; week nor'easter; anti-business business parents ... Discount billionaires ... Pilot, cook, flight attendant ... Hallmark lifestyle porn ... Dead lobstermen ... Briny Santa, orca driver ... Stakes-killing trauma ... Wicker Man end! ... Too normal for this swerve ... Fear of Flying vs. Love of Booty ... F'n lighthouse! ... PART THREE Spot the Angel: Grandpa McCloud ... Eat Your Heart Out: Plane hot chocolate, and more; lobsters with hats, with feelings; facecakes at Nott Pub ... Import/export ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Episodes 83, 94 and 129 ... Overdetermined: Sewing machine (longingly); social-media save; "he ignored weather warnings" ... PART FOUR Crossover: Wicker Man, Trailer Park Boys, Deadliest Catch, Cocoa Dismemberment, Lighthouse Documentary (Herzog) ... Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Grandpa McCloud; Co-Pilot Derek ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Curly Sue audition memories; also, 2 ... PART FIVE Rating: 3 ... The Leftovers: Old Singer ... Air-traffic control meet-cute ... Curated experience ... Green candycane ... "This is your dream job?" ... IMDB Dive ... No breath, no nor'easter ... Now you're like me ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Trailer Park Boys Theme (I Left My Heart in San Francisco)." Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here. | — | ||||||
| 2/23/24 |  129 - The Almost Famous of Brain Cancer | We're checking out cemeteries for when MS. CHRISTMAS COMES TO TOWN (2023), but... You're gonna wanna braise that elf ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Blood tests ... Letters to Santa: 'Are You Dead?' Edition ... New big TV ... Gatorade trauma basketball ... WWI of motion smoothing ... Jobless with SSRI's ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: College lover, Washington New England ... It's the terminal diagnosis show! ... Miss Christmas: Origins ... Cancer, Grief and Kindness: The Movie ... Commendably adult ... PART THREE Spot the Angel: Travis or Boss Elizabeth ... Eat Your Heart Out: "Christmas Cacciatore"; braised elf; candy-cane straw cocoa; Hogan's Donuts math theory; peanut butter Christmas mice (tie) ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Episode 83, "But Wait, There's Buckley" and Episode 94, "The Ecstasy of Competence" ... Overdetermined: No ... Seventeen minutes of modeling good behavior ... It's not Hall of Fame! ... Mad Dog on JFK ... PART FOUR The Swagony of Defeat: Yes, but it fits? ... The White Collar reverse camera ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Murray the Bus Driver! ... Rating: 3 ... Barbara Niven Appreciation Station ... The Leftovers: Power Man Jason Bourque ... Jason London ... Scatting ... Sold-out sound FX ... CSI Cyber, turning red, podcast ... Ken Cosgrove's scarlet suit and Amanda's Christmas jockey ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "The CSI Cyber Podcast Theme" by J.W. Friedman. Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here. | — | ||||||
| 12/22/23 |  128 - Bring the Troops Back to Home Goods | JESSICA RITCHEY supports a HOLIDAY FOR HEROES (2019) because: It's not a movie you watch, it's a pill you take ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Save a Troop Child ... "Dad History" - Michael Jackson ... Jessica: Tubi Magus ... Treat Williams ... Marc Blucas ... Muscle Twink Death ... NCAA athlete ... BDUs, dad bod ... Hallmark Hall of Fame vs. This ... Hallmark's Jehovah's Witness energy ... Home Goods ... S'mores contest ... Slighting the troops ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Military re-up; bringing a battalion home ... Missed dead-brother opportunity ... Combat without consequence ... The GLeeMONEX Initiative ... Job-solution man ... Spot the Angel: No ghost, no one, or everyone, or the Army ... Eat Your Heart Out: Coffee with warlords; thos beans; nog contest/Mexican chocolate nog; Waingro Counter; instant latte ... PART THREE The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Episodes 57, 86, and 5 ... Overdetermined: Dance at the barn; Hallmark war-zone quit; Ronin; support-the-troops speech ... PART FOUR Crossover: The Initiative; The Hurt Locker; Black Hawk Down II; Penny Dreadful ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Co-workers Jade and Pam; Linda Fiorentino as Jade; high school principal; Patton ... Who's the Real Villain: Nothing happened, the Neocons, imperialism ... The fruitlessness of this movie and the GWOT ... PART FIVE Rating: 2.5 ... The Leftovers: Cold breath, hot sun ... Shot in Connecticut ... Wet dock (reprise) ... Wrapped hockey stick (reprise) ... Make with the death! ... IMDB Dive: 1800 soap episodes; Blucas and Brawl in Cell Block 99; Breckin Meyer; Marcia Clark ... George Templeton Strong ... "I love that you're so into history" ... "I'm the eggnog king!" ... Feliz Navidad! ... A Royal Corgi Princess/Christmas; A Pinch of Portugal; Love, Inheritance and Lunch ... Plugs ... Merry Christmas! All music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Ashokan Farewell," by Jay Ungar. Jessica's Twitter HERE • BlueSky HERE • Patreon HERE | — | ||||||
| 7/12/23 |  127 - A Gazebo Movie with Christmas Attached | Grab a 2x4 for the gazebo, it's A VERY MERRY BRIDESMAID (2021), but... Let's get back to the ugly Christmas sweater bachelor party ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet me at the gazebo ... Sleepytime ... Bright Lights, Big Sweater ... O'Henry ≠ Bierce ... Long trip, short distance ... Self-improvement procrastination ... Christmas Eve/Day weddings/birthdays ... Knifed by your own brother ... PART TWO Join the Patreon, hear the Fascist Date story ... Inside the Game ... Drizzle, the condom ... Institutional Haley Joel Osment bias ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Paul, Julia and real estate; Julia, the Reasonable Bridezilla, and a bespoke dress ... Berating clerks in Jeb Mode ... Dress delivery epilogue ... "Tree amateur," Emily Osment directed and the Earnest Hallmark style ... PART THREE Spot the Angel: Nana and multigenerational haunting ... Get out and see some of the world only for a little bit ... Dad's health issues ... How a Hallmark executive sees the world ... Eat Your Heart Out: Lobster stuffed with tacos; Argentinian Christmas cookies; load-bearing hot cocoa; concluding birthday cake; the Bears lost; empty beer bottles ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Episodes: 1, 27, The Best Fries in the City, 4, 60, 125, the most important gazebo since "Stargazeboing at the Time Comet", 70 ... PART FOUR Overdetermined: Not really; overdetermined false starts; What Would Your Grandma Do? ... Crossover: Somebody Somewhere, with a Hallmark Script; Chicago Wedding Strike Force ... PART FOUR The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Not really, not Julia, or Paul, real estate buyer, gazebo erector ... Fitzcarraldo ... Rating: 3 ... IMDB Dive: Emily Osment, Annie Potts, Wallace Shawn; Deidrich and In the Dark; Tracy Andreen and Elena Valdez ... One of the Elite Princesses in the World Renowned Royal Court of the Tournament of Roses Parade Presented by Honda ... Gift-wrap punking our female lead ... Minor Emergency with Gordie LaSalle ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and Mozart's "Sequentia Rex Tremendae - Requiem In D Minor, K 626" performed by the Vienna Philharmonic and Chorus, conducted by Sir Georg Solti. Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here. | — | ||||||
| 6/15/23 |  126 - Journal to the Center of the Turf | RYAN NANNI discovers all roads lead to Arli$$, and we're A WINNING TEAM (2023) because: All we see is the goal ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Ryan's podcast samsara ... Rebawatchables ... Lady Frankenstein ... Mary Shelley, Bobby Bonilla ... Ryan's Hallmark expertise ... Brain damage ... Throwback, safety-presentation movie ... Christmas move, Arbor Day ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Divorce, Shakespeare production, Clemson scholarship ... The Hallmark ACC ... Spot the Hustle: Rasheed Wallace; unconvincing sports; no mock franchises; real arena, public park; diminishing sports ... Dropping acid, watching Hallmark, shrieking neighbor ... Commentator Bumble date ... PART THREE Eat Your Heart Out: "Fries"; urban oat milk, business wisdom; bread bowls; homemade tahini; (Boardwalk Empire butt cut); (admire-able); 10am pie; giant night pancakes; consolation wings; invisible omelet; bobcat stomach; winner buys! ... Alley gambling ... PART FOUR The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Tulips, all roads lead to Arli$$, and the toxic PNW sports culture ... Hallmark ESPN never embraced debate ... Overdetermined: Ropes course; constantly humbling Emily; undecided protagonist; Ian has a type ... Ian: 30 years, two partners ... PART FIVE Crossover: Ted Lasso and Any Given Sunday; Aaron Rodgers' diarrhea retreat; Jon Bois' Friday Night Lights ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Social worker Brandon; no replicant; Sandra, the diner owner ... Who's the Real Villain: Emily's immaturity; no sports Big Bad; kids specializing in sports; Ian, The Dragon ... Rating: 2 ... Impossibly bad sports ... Star Trek Space Africans/Unlicensed Gilmore Girls ... Let Emily be mean! ... PART SIX The Leftovers: World-class woman's player, no-name loser ... Gary Sheffield public-park dingers ... Leadership writing, Taylor Swift ... Emily and online sports discussion ... Knitting coach, man down ... IMDB Dive ... "Mr. Dick" ... Geocaching ... No crutches! ... Sex at BYU ... Wet dock ... Plugs! ... Merry Christmas! All music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Soul Dracula" by Hot Blood. Ryan's Twitter HERE • Fullcast HERE | — | ||||||
| 5/16/23 |  125 - If You Can Book Her, Joyner | Surprise! It's AN UNEXPECTED CHRISTMAS (2021) and we're still dating! Also, ... This is a bad idea ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Turn on Dave's She-Shed ... Lair, fort, Rodney Dangerfield ... Unprepared! ... "The Single Guy" ... Jackie Joyner-Kersee and Paul Campbell ... Three Wise Men and a Baby ... Christmas Season vs. Baseball Season ... Canadian doo-wop ... Paul Campbell (Screenwriting) Appreciation Station ... Mamet notes ... Sharing the quippy wealth ... Coming up! ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Dead Christmas patriarch, gay sister, gay chief of staff, writer's block ... 5pm publishing on Deadspin ... Jeff Loria's Peanuts book, How to Watch Football on Television ... Jamie's serial quits ... Wishing fountain, tourism slogan ... One Tree Hill ... PART THREE The Swagony of Defeat: Custom mugs, Balsam Hill Farmhouse Christmas Ornaments Set of 25 ... Advent tree, starting Thanksgiving ... Tense mugs, Airbnb-ass kitchen ... Make me care about this consumer ... Spot the Angel: Angel free, large family ... Eat Your Heart Out: Normal food; Monty Python teakettles; cookie plunder; implied Swedish chef; cookie violence; destroyed, carbonized (ceremonial) footlong hot dog; Footie Scran; large coffee, giant dog, huge thermal, 8 blocks; neat whiskey; giant woven candy cane; wry jazz club/Italian restaurant waiter and reprise ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Chicagoland marketing, finance, politics, society, inventor of sport peppers ... Chicago/Chicagoland inversion ... Marketing name ... PART FOUR Overdetermined: No, but Jamie is a frozen turd ... "Tired of living in fear" ... So particular ... Emily's generous self-pathologizing ... Do better, Emily ... Crossover: Todd Solondz Christmas; An Unexpected Blago; Kamala Harris ... Great Moments in Moppetry: 2.5 ... Rating: 3.5 ... Tighten it up, Jamie! ... PART FOUR The Leftovers: Jackie Joyner-Kersee ... Nobody can flush in Fulton ... Rat Funeral ... The Single Guy (Reprise) ... It's not karaoke, it's CAROLING ... IMDB Dive ... Courtney Belize, Ron Mexico ... Vending machine ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane. Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here. | — | ||||||
| 3/30/23 |  124 - Dream Cookies, Wine MILFs, Moon Boat | We celebrate A KISMET CHRISTMAS (2022) with one dose of cookies and realize ... When the ingenues need help, they make one call: La Chabert ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Jeb's at the Strawberry Festival ... Simultaneous Strep and Covid ... Jazzys in the Entenmann's Event Tent ... We liked it! ... Meta threat ... Parenthood, dud ensemble ... "Hallmark Christmas Blogger Sarah Ramos" ... Aware, but not kidding ... Fun hammy ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Grandma Mia decluttering; mom outta the picture; Patsy and the Mayor; book-ornament contest; looming deadlines; childhood collaborations ... Spot the Angel: Benny the agent; ancestral ghost; Travis ... Eat Your Heart Out: Kismet Cookies, not to be used internally; done when it seems done; secret ingredient is love; you need fudge ... Break: NFL Films, "Classic Battle" PART THREE The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Jeb screws up a TPB reference; children's books are easy!; Nostalgic Christmas (Episode 72); the Man in the Arena ... Overdetermined: Almost none; working cookie for a trembling lady; great divorce take; three quits, one plausible explanation ... Crossover: Stephen King; Rogan book tour ... Gary Vaynerchuk ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: The Mayor, a medicated Dennis Hopper; Raylene, Wine Woo Mom ... Who's the Real Villain: Villain-free; Christmas wedding hosts ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR Great Moments in Moppetry Rating: 2.0, for load-bearing moppetry ... Rating: 4.5, well-executed turbo Hallmarkery ... IMDB Dive: Mark Jean, Flip That Romance (Ep. 51); Betsy Morris Appreciation Station ... The Leftovers: Gateway jewelry ... I got my library card ... Benny's Christmas HQ ... Becoming your parents ads ... Sarah Ramos's "City Girl" ... Night Runner vs. Moon Boat ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Timorous Me." by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here. | — | ||||||
| 3/3/23 |  123 - Faeries, Dr. Weir, Things of That Nature | We take A FABLED HOLIDAY (2022) out of time, and we apologize: No one's claiming the rights ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Play that glissando! ... Holiday recap: Hatchet accident, child custody, punting to Queens ... "Hanukkah on Rye" update ... A year of Countdown to Christmas Countdown ... Decompensating via Christmas nostalgia ... Who are your guys? ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Jake guy ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Widower Charles on the Event Horizon ... Vincent Price chapter narration ... A strangely under-playful, overly traumatized movie ... Mr. Snowflake at Verso Books ... A WWI of emotion ... Spot the Devil: Mildred ... Spot the Angel: The Narrator ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Eat Your Heart Out: Mad Men/Lumbergh cocoa mugs; goulash; inaccurate beer pull; orange abbondanza; candy cane vape pen; chewing on cinnamon and rosemary ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: The PNW telluric currents; angel vacation resort ... Overdetermined: Confronting the sprites, wild accusations; Mildred's Rickles routine; "I am done living in fear!" ... Stuff didn't work out! It's ok! ... Brooke D'Orsay Appreciation Station ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR Crossover: Introducing Ned Ryerson; nyads, wood-nymphs, things of that nature; Death Ship, again ... Unclaimed rights ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Diane and Keith's divorce-a-thon ... Great Moments in Moppetry: Maybe 2,000 years old ... Mad Dog Russo's Revolutionary War ... Who's the Real Villain: Fiction publishing and copyright ... Literacy in DeSantisland ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FIVE Rating: 3 ... Meet your dead dad ... IMDB Dive: Ruby Monroe, script supervisor, Blade Trinity The Leftovers: Charles and Mildred banter (good), Charles despair line-reads (bad) ... All her stories, steel suitcase ... Made up village, lotta rules ... Blue violin, karate ... Six seasons and a screenplay! ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Torgo's Theme." Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here. | — | ||||||
| 12/16/22 |  122 - A Pumpkin for Klendathu | It's PUMPKIN EVERYTHING (2022), and we'll never pass up a good thing. Radio by seniors, for seniors ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Bug planet! ... Michael Ironside Appreciation Station ... Extremely weird, way too real ... Dead malls, pizza chains ... Repetitive love arc. vs. elder mortality and AA ... A rom-som template on real vulnerability ... Bruce Arians ... Our aging [step]parents[-in-law], aging and driving ... First normal person in a Hallmark world ... Committed, sincere, Hallmark dialogue ... Fundamental grouchy love ... Real Crossover: A Canadian indie film in a Hallmark universe ... Break: Basil Poledouris, "Klendathu Drop," Starship Troopers soundtrack. PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Hey, Good Morning; Amy Instagram; she's a business ... Jazz aficionado ... Senior Radio ... Apology, AA confessional, let's race! ... Scarecrow teen treachery ... Spot the Angel: No ... Eat Your Heart Out: Caramel mortarboard; foliage week, proper names, time dilation; first pumpkin latte of the season; late Loggia, Alex Jones; hotel pitcher of cider; Luke and Lillian's pumpkin sage ravioli; Mountain Dew Braised Rojas ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Tom is Billy Pilgrimed here; diner kid in the movies, here, now; "Pumpkin Pie Wars"; "Holiday Date," the undercover Jewish experience, Delco Extended Universe ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Letters to Santa: Andrea Canning, the Dateline anchor, USS Christmas and IMDB ... Overdetermined: Necessarily overt talks; soundtrack cue, swing hooting ... Crossover: Starship Troopers and Scanners, of course ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Mom Lillian, jerk-horny, work-life imbalanced ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR Who's the Real Villain?: The elder care industry ... Don't wanna know the book's plot ... Full Mendo ... Title/Sequel: Good title; fed up; that feel, Tone ... Rating: 3.5 ... "Inchon Landing on the War on Christmas" ... The Leftovers: The Jeff Beesley experience ... The Michael Ironside IMDB tour ... McBain ... Surfacing/Scanners ... Cohagen, horse breeder ... Megawattage ... Soundalike narrative soundtrack ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Scanner Duel," by Howard Shore, Scanners soundtrack. Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here. | — | ||||||
| 11/23/22 |  121 - Assault on the Waist Rising | CASEY JOHNSTON'S making us stretch before WARMING UP TO YOU (2021), but we're willing to reconsider if: We want to buy that "Congrats on finding a floater" card ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Toilet drop ... Meet Casey! ... Love your work, and I'm not heeding it ... Renamed movie ... Grew up in Hallmark stores ... Teen money ... Haunted by figurines ... Work at Hallmark ... Work at the Gap ... Gift wrap ... Year-round Christmas store ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up ... Wrecked toilet ... Daffy final third ... Real-ish growth ... More nuance, still confused ... Maximize Your Tropes: Milkshake theft; "my values"; giant fake belly; lake surfing; anchored together; stunt coordinator ... PART THREE Spot the Angel: Bestie Sasha or old Minnie ... Eat Your Heart Out: Gym shake; workout negroni; cheese fries, tendies, gym; Costco cheeseballs jar; butane-roasted cauliflower; contemporary pizza; chip smuggling, snack confiscation ... PART FOUR The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Decommissioned Summer Camp Belt (Episode 57) ... Overdetermined: Ex Liza's arrival; Jared's "work"; stunt-training; homecoming gown; "her rules" ... Crossover: Chris Hemsworth's paunch workout; Ben Affleck quitting Dunkin; Kate's Most Dangerous Game ... PART FIVE Hallmark Bechdel Test: Barely! ... Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Rick; Jared; maybe everyone; Minnie ... Who's the Real Villain: Fat-shaming/bad science ... Rating: 3.5 ... A flow state of assumed chemistry ... Giant thumbs-down sticker ... Into sticker-shaming ... Snotty table turning ... PART SIX The Leftovers: 70% of the population has a dad-bod ... Good locations ... Minnie is a ghost ... IMDB Dive: Christie Will Wolf, W. Stuart, Reacher's brother ... Going to Hogwarts ... Race to Save the World at Midnight ... Avocado green ... Driftwood ... Bad cornhole ... Plugs! ... Merry Christmas! All music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane, "Hooray for Hollywood," by John Williams and the Boston Pops and "Pump It Up (Instrumental)" by The HotRats. More from Casey: Twitter HERE • Book HERE • Newsletter HERE • Instagram HERE | — | ||||||
| 10/20/22 |  120 - A Floating Meatball of Barbarism | JONATHAN KATZ and SAM ADLER-BELL sail into history aboard the USS Christmas (2020), but first: Let's go get hot chocolate! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet Jon, Sam, Sam's grandma and Jon's mom! ... Happy story, death machine ... Cast Rundown ... Niven ... The Dual Expositional Challenge ... Was this fun? ... Can't think past the meatball ... Bald evangelism ... Cool planes ... Hanoi Hilton ... Ruin movies with college ... Not much USO ... Vietnam ... Break: "I Bombed Korea," by Cake PART TWO Journalismism: The Moore-Bacon wedding; less important work; firefighter baby; staffed paper; "Mr. Bailey"; Maddie ruins lives; public-records incompetence; FOIA; stealing documents; New Yorker-ass paper; headlines; Maddie's email; streaming entertainment ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART THREE Spot the Angel: Captain Chet ... A real talk about trauma ... MILF hunter ... Marines plane, yuletide ship ... Nick Frost ... Eat Your Heart Out: Dinner rolls; bacon; shared milkshake; NYC bistro in Wilmington, NC; NYC Waffle House; mistletoe martini; abundant hot chocolate; sucky chestnuts; candy cane gnawing ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART FOUR The Hallmark Expanded Universe ... Overdetermined: Wine toss; ditched rival; the Grinch; trauma swappin'; "Daddy's Girl"; scared of Christmas ... Join the Patreon! ... Crossover: Flight of the Intruder; USS Milius; Man in the High Castle; Captain Chet Red Octobers it; a U-571 Christmas ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Grinch Billy, troubled reader; every character; Maddie's horny widow mom, who only likes one child ... Break: "Drop Da Bomb," by Party Posse PART FIVE Who's The Real Villain?: Disliking the military; facing reality; generational trauma; news' novelty bias ... Rating: 3 ... It's a Wonderful Boat! ... Jen Lilley gas face ... Niven didn't bring it ... Know Your Enemy Appreciation Station ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART SIX The Leftovers: Aircraft carriers in NYC ... IMDB Dive ... Q-pilled Dorothy with clone Sam ... Joni Mitchell Appreciation Station ... Podcaster beefcake ... LBJ! ... Anna Chennault ... Robert Strange McNamara ... Smedley Butler ... Plugs! ... TYFYS ... Merry Christmas! All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin. Follow Sam on Twitter: @SamAdlerBell Follow Jon on Twitter: @KatzOnEarth Order Jon's book here. | — | ||||||
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