#186 Alexis Fernandez (DYFM?) The Neuroscience of Connection, Creativity & Heartbreak

About this episode

Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa discusses the neuroscience of connection, creativity, and heartbreak with Keegan Hipgrave.

Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa is a cognitive neuroscientist, best-selling author and host of one of the world's biggest psychology podcasts, Do You F*cking Mind? She is also one of the warmest, most down-to-earth people to ever sit across the mic from Keegan. We talked about the fluke that pulled her out of acting and into neuroscience (one guest lecture, a slide of a dissected brain, and a snap decision to change her major), and why she reckons passion never just shows up at your door fully formed. We got into monotasking, the dog walks with no headphones and the shower ideas that come when you finally let your mind be bored, and the line that stuck with Keegan: your thoughts get quieter and your creativity gets louder. Alexis broke down the Gottman research on "bids for connection" and the tennis-ball rule that quietly decides whether couples last, the "treat them like the love of your life for three months" experiment that ended in a marriage, why desperation is really just fear of loss, and how to actually move through a breakup, including the science of the tactical cry. Plus becoming a present dad, the nights being long but the years being short, and Alexis's three pillars of…

People in this episode

Host: Keegan Hipgrave

Guest: Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

Topics covered

• neuroscience
• creativity
• connection
• heartbreak
• relationships
• happiness

Keywords

• neuroscience
• connection
• creativity
• heartbreak
• relationships
• Gottman research
• happiness

Mentioned in this episode

Organizations: Do You F*cking Mind?

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