Keeping Records

An episode full of shocking revelations. Someone in the room (EJ) has never been to TGI Friday's. Someone else in the room (Shelby) thinks Taylor Swift is a psychopath. And someone else in the room (our guest Sam Sanders [It's Been a Minute, Vibe Check, Into It]) didn't know that Jason Mraz says he's Mr. A to Z because Mr. A to Z spells... Mraz . Also we rarely get this topical/controversial but if you're looking for a primer on the entire DWD drama between Oliv*a and H*rry and J*son, we've got a literal NPR reporter (our guest Sam Sanders) to take you through it beat by beat. At some point, artifacts were sent to the aliens. Sam's Artifacts: Continuum by John Mayer (Music) "Pop-Up Video" (Audio-Visual) Really Good California Edibles (Drug) Carly Rae Jepson (Person) Funyons (Food) Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper (Ephemera) Follow Sam on Twitter and Instagram. Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Well looky who we have here: it's the literal titans of the heterosexual podcasting world, George Civeris and Sam Taggart (Straightiolab). To keep things super duper straight this episode, the gang discuss Reese Witherspoon, owls, Lady Gaga, taking a nice long walk in the fall, and then circling back to Reese Witherspoon again. The aliens also get the BOGO deal of a lifetime with two sets of artifacts rocketing off into space: George's Artifacts: The Final Scene Of The Movie Wild (Film Scene) The Music Video For the Song "Why Go?" by Faithless ft. Estelle (Music Video) Using Leftover Pasta Sauce to Make Shakshuka For Lunch the Next Day (Food Hack) Sam's Artifacts: Lady Gaga Muppet Christmas Special (Audio-Visual) The Feeling When A Guy You Think Is Straight Turns Out To Be Bi (Feeling) Season 3 Episode 7 of HBO's Girls When They Go To The Beach House (TV Episode) Follow George on Instagram and Twitter, follow Sam on Instagram and Twitter, and follow Straightiolab on Instagram and Twitter! Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Anya (who writes these episode descriptions, hello) finally gets a long awaited and much deserved apology from Shelby, in absentia. I guess I had to fly across the country to give Shelby the distance she needed to make amends. I've forgiven and I've forgotten. While I was away, Shelby and EJ decided the podcast is perfect (true) and that the funniest person in the world is Jon Gabrus (also true). He stopped by to talk about how super awkward it is to have a sleepover at someone else's house at a young age and how super awkward it is to take a poop at the airport. If you're one of our listeners located in Long Island who just got podcasts within the last 10 years, we welcome you to the show. Gabrus's Artifacts: Big Trouble in Little China (1986 Film) The Scene From Clueless Where Cher Comes Down The Stairs in a Calvin Klein Dress (1995 Film Scene/Gabrus's Sexual Awakening) Henry Cavill Fighting In a Bathroom in Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018 Film Scene/Gabrus's Queer Sexual Awakening) The Unlicensed Ice Cream Salesmen on Long Island Beaches (People) Follow Gabrus on Twitter and Instagram and listen to him on his Headgum podcasts, High and Mighty & Corked! Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode is for our sweet n earnest lil freaks ONLY. We mean it!!!! If you're not prepared to shed a tear as longtime podcaster/friend of the show/loving dad Chuck Bryant talks about his favorite episode of his kid's favorite TV show, you should probably turn back now!!!! (OK, now that it's just us sweethearts, we can tell you about the rest of the episode: Shelby comes up with a plan for getting lost in a crowd, EJ pulls out an obscure metaphor never uttered before by man or extra-terrestrial, and Chuck probably wonders why his illustrious podcast career brought him to this moment, watching two people do an improv scene with a bear for some reason.) Chuck's Artifacts Jaws (1975 Film) The Sleepytime episode of Bluey (Children's TV episode) This Queen performance of "Somebody to Love" live in Montreal (Audio-visual) Musicless Music Videos on Youtube (Audio-visual) The guy that fell off his bike in college and acted like he was reading a book (Memory) I Think You Should Leave (TV show) Follow Chuck's podcasts on Twitter and Instagram. Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, welcome back. We have perhaps never meant it to more??? Keeping Records is all the way back, with the new EJ and the old Shelby and all that record-making you love or hate or agree with or disagree with or tolerate. And could we have asked for a better first guest back than comedian/writer/podcaster-to-the-stars Jamie Loftus? No we could not. Finally all together in the studio, the gang puzzled over some really important questions like: Should you get a pet snake? (No.) Should one have sex with their car? (Only if the car is cool/souped up.) Why is Australia scary but New Zealand not scary? (Unsure.) And other questions that are really worth considering!!! Jamie's Artifacts Jamie's mom's 30th birthday video (Audio-visual) Lemony Snickett Books (Book Series) The Jinx (2015 Documentary Series) The Volcano Couple (Historical Figures) Going to the bathroom right before or after doing something significant and looking in the mirror and being like remember this!!!! (Feeling) The Court Scene From I, Tonya (Film Scene) The Hot Dog episode of How It's Made (Audio-visual) Follow Jamie on Twitter and Instagram be sure to listen to Ghost Church wherever you get your podcasts! Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

OK tiny freaks! This is our very last re-release before a very special episode next week (!) and an even more special (!!) episode the week after. So hang tight, stay tuned, don't touch that dial. We're almost back, baby. Actor, producer, and writer E.R. Fightmaster takes great issue with the premise of Keeping Records. And the issue is that the show shouldn't be about educating the aliens on humanity—it's about making the aliens feel how we feel. And that means the aliens need to feel perplexed by CrossFit, electrified by Temptation Island, inspired by the WNBA, and...I actually am not sure what they'll think about the oyster thing. But they're gonna feel something. E.R.'s Artifacts CrossFit (human behavior) Temptation Island (audio-visual) The WNBA "Wubble" Season (audio-visual) Books about cities (literature) Oysters (food) A text that says “I’m running five behind” when you are really 20 behind (human behavior) Follow E.R. and watch them on Shrill! Also listen to their music released as Twin! Instagram Twitter Music Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All right, settle in lil freaks, we're wheeling in the AV cart for a very special session of Keeping Records. Yes, that's right, we're gonna dim the lights and sit quietly in our chairs while Caleb and Shelby tell us about some of the artifacts that NASA sent (without our input weirdly) on the original Voyager Golden Record. We'll learn about things that seem funny to us but normal to people in other parts of the world, we'll learn about fetuses and how that all works more or less, we'll learn that the Immaculate Conception was really the Original Cuckolding. All in all, we'll learn. Together. While we eagerly wait for new episodes to drop. Soon. We promise. Be sure to watch the video version of the episode for a complete audio-visual experience and for two of the best wigs you'll ever see in your life. The Artifacts: Greeting: Cantonese Image: School Room Image: Fetus Diagram Image: Rush Hour Traffic Greeting: Portuguese Music: "Dark Was the Night," written and performed by Blind Willie Johnson Greeting: Nepali Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey it's Caleb and Shelbo! Back with the long-awaited Golden Record from our main girl! Shelbo takes a while to find her camera but when she does, she FINALLY sets the record straight (in a gay way): we're taking a brief chhhiatus (a Jewish break), but we will be back with new episodes in a few weeks. So don't you dare hit that unsubscribe button, because we've got so much more Keeping Recordings for you. More news coming in this feed next week. To tide you over 'til then, Shelbo's artifacts: When Two People Meet at a Revolving Door at the Same Time and Push it together (Collaboration) The Last 24 hrs at Summer Camp (Traumatic Childhood Event) Rats On the Street vs Rats People Keep as Pets (Comparison) Hanging Out with a Friend's Parent in Their Kitchen (Experience) A New Nicki Minaj Verse Specifically for the Aliens (Audio) Driving Around with your Friends Listening to Music w/ No Real Destination (Muli-Sensory Experience) When the Cleveland Caveliers Won NBA Championship in 2016 (Sports History Moment) The OC (2003-2007 Television Show) Survivor (2000-Present Day Television Show) Group Date to a Movie Theater at Age 12 (Tween Experience) Shel Silverstein (Poet/Author) Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

They're back from their meeting with NASA; seems like things went well. Now, Caleb's in New York, and Shelby's in LA. But the Zoom that connects them through the cosmos? That's Mommy, and Mommy is home. They play F/M/K with the Supreme Court (answers open to interpretation) and then open up the submission line to solicit additions/deletions for the Golden Record, and as usual you lil freaks did not disappoint. Covering a real wide breadth of the most pressing issues of our time, we have the following: Your Record Additions: "Never Again" by Kelly Clarkson (Audio)\ Soft pretzels dipped in cheese (Food) Finding out a coworker hates the same coworker as you (Feeling) Your Record Deletions: Fluorescent Lighting (Light source) Rolling Coal (Activity) Anya Making the Temperature Too Hot in the Studio (Producer Oversight) Charmin Bears (Product Mascot) Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shelby's back in studio (missed you, girl!); Caleb's finally on Raya (congrats, girl!); and EJ Marcus stops by the pod to kind of randomly make fun of producer Anya (who is actually writing this description but totally forgives you, girl!). After all, EJ is, by their own admission, Mean, Scary, Tall, and Intimidating. Mean, Scary, Tall, and Intimidating EJ brought along a near-perfect Golden Record that is at once practical and... dare we say... provocative? Listen in for arguably the best hour-and-change of your day. EJ's Artifacts: Art With Cats On It (Visual) Shoe Racks (Object) Sunglasses (Object) Thelma & Louise (1991 Film) Follow EJ on Tiktok, Twitter, and Instagram. Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're back and we're hornery. We talk about marriage and mentally ill babies, Real Housewives and mentally ill Real Housewives, and the ways in which young Mormons are (or, apparently, are not) having sex. Comedian Camirin Farmer comes through with a list of artifacts that can only be described as iconic, and also ruthlessly drags actress Lea Michele but we're fine with that. Plus, per every lil freak's request, Caleb and Shelby unearth their first ever video artifact, a public-broadcasting-esque examination of a photograph that's shooting around space at this very minute. Camirin's Artifacts: Barbra Streisand (Celebrity) Bebe's Kids (1992 Film) An Oriole's baseball game that they win (Sporting event) The Cake (Audio-visual) The entirety of the Real Housewives franchise (Television series) Follow Camirin on Twitter and Instagram. Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Have you ever really listened to the words of "Baby" by the young hitmaker Justin Bieber? No, like, really really listened? Comedian Kiry Shabazz walks Caleb and Shelby through a close reading of the lyrics, while sending to space other songs not yet included in the Great American Songbook because they are cowards. Taking the most strategic, tactical approach of any Keeping Records guest before him, Kiry's tightly curated but mostly music-based Golden Record is meant to make the aliens feel sexy, sad, and confused, which we think is kind of cool. Kiry's Artifacts: "Confessions" by Usher (Audio) "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman (Audio) Mick Jagger + Tina Turner Performing "State of Shock" (Audio-visual) Follow Kiry on Twitter and Instagram. Watch the video version of the episode Follow the show @keepingrecordspod Advertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.