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On the show
From 17 epsHosts
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Recent episodes
Why Therapy Often Falls Short (Even When It’s Good Therapy)
Jun 24, 2026
Unknown duration
Don’t Run From Tension – Stephen Curry’s Marriage Wisdom
Jun 18, 2026
Unknown duration
BONUS EPISODE: Ho’oponopono Forgiveness Meditation - Release Resentment and Free Yourself
Jun 12, 2026
17m 21s
When Is It Okay Not to Forgive? (And When It’s Not)
Jun 10, 2026
22m 04s
Making Repairs In The Moment (Conflict Strategies)
Jun 3, 2026
28m 43s
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| Date | Episode | Topics | Guests | Brands | Places | Keywords | Sponsor | Length | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6/24/26 |  Why Therapy Often Falls Short (Even When It’s Good Therapy) | Many people do deep, sincere work in therapy and gain real insight into their patterns — yet they still find themselves repeating the same painful cycles in their relationships. In this episode, we explore why insight alone often fails to create lasting change and what actually helps us respond differently when we’re triggered. Drawing from the work of Terry Real and Relational Life Therapy, we unpack the three parts of ourselves that show up in moments of conflict and why building the capacity to shift between them is essential for real transformation.In This EpisodeWhy so many people feel like therapy “didn’t work,” even after doing significant personal workThe gap between knowing why we react and actually responding differently in the momentThe three parts of you: the Wise Adult, the Wounded Child, and the Adaptive ChildWhy the Adaptive Child’s survival strategies often override our best intentionsThe difference between top-down and bottom-up approaches — and why both are often neededA simple, practical practice you can start using today to build “second consciousness”A personal story that illustrates what it looks like when someone finally chooses a different responseKey TakeawaysInsight is valuable, but it’s often not enough to interrupt deeply wired patterns when we’re activated.Many adults spend a large portion of their life operating from their Adaptive Child rather than their Wise Adult.Real change happens in the present moment — not while talking about the past.Recovery is active, moment-to-moment work that requires noticing when the Adaptive Child has taken over and gently inviting the Wise Adult back online.Both strengthening the Wise Adult and reducing the intensity of old trauma are important for lasting change.Practical Action StepsTry this simple practice the next time you notice yourself getting reactive:Take a slower, intentional breath (try the 4-7-8 breath: inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8).Gently ask yourself:Which part of me is running right now?Am I in my Adaptive Child, or is my Wise Adult available?What would my Wise Adult want to do differently?This week, keep a short journal and note moments when you noticed yourself in your Adaptive Child. Awareness is where choice begins.Resources MentionedWork of Terry Real and Relational Life TherapyViktor Frankl’s quote on the space between stimulus and responseThomas Hübl’s teaching: “To observe is to have choice”Get in TouchWebsite: MasterYourMarriage.usInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriageFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MasterYourMarriage/ | — | ||||||
| 6/18/26 | Don’t Run From Tension – Stephen Curry’s Marriage Wisdom | What if the secret to a thriving marriage isn’t avoiding conflict… but learning to lean into it?In this episode, Sharla and Robert explore NBA superstar Stephen Curry’s powerful marriage advice from his recent interview with Michelle Obama: “We don’t run away from the tension on the daily.” They unpack why this simple idea is backed by decades of research from John and Julie Gottman, Terry Real, and divorce lawyers — and why so many couples still resist it.You’ll learn:Why 69% of relationship problems are perpetual (and why that’s actually good news)How the 5:1 positive-to-negative ratio works in real life — and what happens when it doesn’t over 5–10 yearsThe compounding effect of small, unaddressed negatives (and how it leads to “falling out of love slowly, then all at once”)Practical ways to reframe tension, use soft startups, get underneath gridlocked issues, and repair quicklyWhether you’ve been married 5 years or 25, this episode will shift how you see conflict in your relationship.Resources & Links Mentioned:Michelle Obama’s IMO Podcast with Stephen & Ayesha Curry (full episode)Medium Article: “Stephen Curry’s Best Marriage Advice Is Backed by Psychologists and Divorce Lawyers”John & Julie Gottman – Fight RightTerry Real – Relational Life TherapyOur Repair Mini-Series (previous episodes)Challenge This Week:The next time tension rises, name it gently: “I’m noticing some tension here, and I want us to lean into it together. What’s going on for you?” Stay in the conversation, listen openly, and make a repair if needed.Research Opportunity:We’re in the early stages of developing a new marriage program and would love your input. If you’ve ever felt successful in your career but struggled to connect at home, Sharla would love to hear your story. This is purely for research — no sales pitch. Schedule a quick interview hereCall to Action:If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts — it helps other couples find the show. And be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.Until next time — choose each other, even in the tension. | — | ||||||
| 6/12/26 | BONUS EPISODE: Ho’oponopono Forgiveness Meditation - Release Resentment and Free Yourself✨ | forgivenessmeditation+3 | — | Episode 162: “When Is It Okay Not to Forgive? (And When It’s Not)”, | — | forgiveness meditationHo’oponopono+3 | — | 17m 21s | |
| 6/10/26 | When Is It Okay Not to Forgive? (And When It’s Not)✨ | forgivenessrelationships+3 | — | Ho’oponopono Forgiveness Meditation | — | forgivenessreconciliation+5 | — | 22m 04s | |
| 6/3/26 | Making Repairs In The Moment (Conflict Strategies)✨ | relationship repairconflict resolution+3 | — | Master Your Marriage | — | repair attemptsconflict strategies+3 | — | 28m 43s | |
| 5/27/26 | The Apology That Actually Heals✨ | apologiesmarriage+3 | — | The Gottman InstituteAPA PsycNet+3 | — | apology processrelationship repair+3 | — | 24m 01s | |
| 5/14/26 | It’s Not Conflict That Ends Relationships, It’s Lack of Repair✨ | conflict resolutionrelationship repair+3 | — | — | — | relationship conflictrepair skills+3 | — | 23m 23s | |
| 5/6/26 | How Withdrawal Slowly Ends Marriages✨ | withdrawal in relationshipsemotional disengagement+4 | — | — | — | withdrawalrelationship strategies+5 | — | 28m 04s | |
| 4/29/26 | The Half-In, Half-Out Marriage✨ | indecisionmarriage+4 | Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife | — | — | indecisionmarriage+6 | — | 23m 21s | |
| 4/23/26 | Defensiveness Is Blocking Real Intimacy✨ | defensivenessintimacy+4 | — | The Gottman Institute | — | defensivenessintimacy+7 | — | 22m 36s | |
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| 4/15/26 | The Hidden Cost of Keeping the Peace in Marriage✨ | people-pleasingconflict avoidance+3 | — | — | — | marriageconflict+5 | — | 27m 56s | |
| 4/8/26 | Retaliation in Marriage: Why ‘You Hurt Me First’ Never Works✨ | retaliation in marriagecommunication strategies+3 | — | — | — | retaliationmarriage+5 | — | 24m 45s | |
| 4/1/26 | Needing to Be Right: Just Because You Think You're Right, Doesn’t Mean You Get to Prove It!✨ | communicationmarriage+3 | — | — | — | needing to be rightconfirmation bias+3 | — | 24m 36s | |
| 3/26/26 | Controlling Your Partner: Just Because You Want Them to Change, Doesn't Mean You Get to Control Them (And Push Them Away)✨ | control in relationshipsemotional manipulation+4 | — | — | — | controlling partnerrelationship strategies+5 | — | 25m 51s | |
| 3/18/26 | Unbridled Expression: Just Because You Think It, Doesn't Mean You Get to Say It (And Hurt Your Spouse)✨ | communication in relationshipsemotional expression+3 | — | — | — | unbridled expressioncontempt+5 | — | 25m 03s | |
| 3/12/26 | Saving Your Marriage Solo: Transforming Your Relationship Without Your Spouse's Help with Casey and Meygan Caston✨ | self-improvement in marriagebuilding connection+4 | Casey CastonMeygan Caston | Marriage 365Master Your Marriage+1 | — | marriagerelationship improvement+6 | — | 50m 27s | |
| 3/4/26 | Why You Can’t Get Out of Bed (It’s Not Laziness or Depression); The Nervous System Science Behind Shutdown✨ | nervous systemshutdown+3 | — | — | — | nervous system statesventral vagal+5 | — | 24m 49s | |
| 2/25/26 | Soothing Each Other's Triggers - Secure Relationships Part 5✨ | partner soothingvulnerabilities+5 | — | Wired for LoveThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work | — | soothingtriggers+5 | — | 25m 45s | |
| 2/18/26 | Power Struggles Killing Your Marriage? How to Govern Your Relationship Like Equals (Part 4 of the Secure-Relationship Series)✨ | power strugglesmarriage governance+3 | — | The Seven Principles for Making Marriage WorkWired for Love+1 | — | marriagegovernance+6 | — | 30m 59s | |
| 2/11/26 | “I Don’t Feel Safe” – What It Really Means and How the Couple Bubble Fixes It (Part 3 of the Secure-Relationship Series) | She says, “I don’t feel safe.”He hears the words… but doesn’t know what they actually mean in her nervous system.In this episode we finally explain what that sentence really means, why it shows up even in good relationships, and exactly how to build the “couple bubble” — the invisible forcefield that makes her (and him) feel safe again, even when life gets hard.We also talk about why principles beat rules every time, and we give you powerful journaling prompts so you can start creating your own guarantees of safety this week.This is the episode that turns understanding into something you can both feel in your body.Key Takeaways“I don’t feel safe” is rarely about the relationship being unsafe — it’s about the nervous system no longer feeling regulated by your partner.The couple bubble is the practical way you turn safety from a concept into a felt experience.Principles (chosen because they’re good and right for you personally) outlast rules (followed only out of fear or consequences).Both partners must be able to defend a principle selfishly for themselves first — otherwise it’s just a stick, not a carrot.The bubble is a pact: we agree to do things for each other that no one else would be willing to do.Your Homework – Do This WeekPart 1 – Journal privately (10–15 minutes each)What guarantees would you like to receive from your partner inside the bubble? (Be specific. What would make you feel truly safe, even on your worst day?)What guarantees would you like to give your partner? (What are you willing to promise, for your own reasons, because it aligns with the person you want to be?)What principles do you already live by in your personal life (outside the relationship) that you would love to bring into your couple bubble?Looking back, where has your bubble felt leaky in the past? What principle could have protected it?Part 2 – Talk together (no phones, no distractions)Share what you wrote. Listen with curiosity. No defending or fixing. Ask each other:“Why would this principle be good and right for you personally — even if I weren’t in the picture?”That conversation itself starts building the bubble.ResourcesWired for Love by Stan Tatkin – the book that introduced the couple bubble conceptIn Each Other’s Care by Stan Tatkin – his newest, most practical guide to turning these ideas into daily habitsFull list of Stan Tatkin’s Ten Commandments HERENext WeekHow to predict and plan for the mistakes we all make — and set up guardrails that protect the bubble when life gets messy.Rate and ReviewIf this episode finally helped you understand what “I don’t feel safe” really means, please follow, leave us a 5-star rating and a quick review — it helps other couples find the show.Connect With Us | — | ||||||
| 2/4/26 | The Attachment Style Quiz Your Therapist Would Give You (Part 2 Secure-Relationship Series) | Episode TitleThe Attachment Style Quiz Your Therapist Would Give You (Part 2 of the Secure-Relationship Series)Episode DescriptionMost of what we do in relationships is on autopilot—shaped by how we were cared for (or not) as kids. In this episode, Sharla and Robert unpack the three main attachment styles (Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant), share eye-opening childhood reflection questions, real-life couple stories, and checklists to help you identify yourself. You’ll finally understand why you chase, why they pull away, and how to stop using labels as weapons—so you can actually build the safety and closeness you both crave.Key TakeawaysYour attachment style isn’t a flaw—it’s an adaptation from childhood.Never weaponize labels (“You’re so avoidant!”). Use them for compassion only.Secure relationships require: safety first, equal power, and the relationship that come first.The path to more security = Acceptance of who you both are + owning your impact.You can’t force change in your partner. You create it through consistent safety.Quick Attachment Style Checklists (from the episode)Secure I enjoy closeness but am also comfortable alone. Disagreements don’t shake me. I trust easily.Avoidant I recharge best alone. Closeness can feel smothering. I downplay emotions.Anxious I worry my partner will leave. I need frequent reassurance. Small things feel like big threats.Resources for Deeper LearningMust-Read BooksAttached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller → The book that brought attachment theory into everyday relationships.Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin → Deep dive into how your partner’s brain works and how to create real security together.The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller → Excellent for understanding how early wounds show up now and how to heal them.Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson → Seven conversations that can transform your relationship (Emotionally Focused Therapy classic).Next WeekWe start building that “invisible forcefield” around your relationship—specific tools to create safety and security even when your attachment styles clash.Call to Action!If this episode gave you an “aha!” moment, please leave us a 5-star rating and quick review—it really helps other couples find the show. Share this episode with your partner or a friend who’s stuck in the chase-pullaway cycle. And subscribe so you don’t miss Part 3!Thanks for listening — and remember: put each other first this week. The small things, done often, really do change everything. ❤️ | — | ||||||
| 1/28/26 | Why Secure Functioning Relationships Are a Necessity (Part One Secure-Relationship Series) | In the premiere of our new series on Secure Functioning Relationships, we dive into why these partnerships are essential in today's chaotic world. Drawing from attachment theory and the work of Stan Tatkin, we explore how secure bonds act as our ultimate source of safety, happiness, and health—serving as a natural antidote to stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. Through personal stories from the COVID pandemic and everyday adventures, discover how threats can either unite or divide couples, and learn the foundational signs of a secure-functioning relationship: being true allies, equal shareholders, and prioritizing your union above all. Whether you're navigating fears, tribalism, or post-pandemic PTSD, this episode lays the groundwork for building a resilient "home base" with your partner. Join us weekly for practical steps to create lasting security in your marriage.Key Topics Covered:The global need for secure relationships amid existential and everyday threatsBenefits of secure functioning: Better mental health, longevity, and stress reductionContrasts with insecure attachments and their health impactsReal-life examples of handling crises as a teamCore principles: Safety at all times, shared power, and putting the relationship firstSubscribe to Master Your Marriage for the full series—next up, actionable strategies to get there. Perfect for couples seeking deeper connection and resilience.Connect with us:https://masteryourmarriage.us/or through social media @masteryourmarriage | — | ||||||
| 1/14/26 | National Quitter’s Day: Why Your Relationship Goals Fail (And 3 Tweaks to Make Them Stick) | In this episode, Robert and Sharla dive into National Quitter’s Day—the second Friday in January when most New Year's resolutions start to fizzle out. Inspired by data from the fitness app Strava, they explore why goals fail, with a special focus on relationship goals like regular date nights or weekly check-ins. The problem isn't you; it's the plan! They break down three major culprits: goals not aligning with your unconscious values, focusing on outcomes instead of building systems through daily rituals, and failing to prepare for inevitable obstacles.Key highlights include:A personal story from Sharla about how a health scare shifted her values and made motivation effortless.Real-life examples of couples infusing laughter into check-ins to make goals stick.The power of "rituals of connection" for compounding small actions into big relationship wins.An introduction to the WOOP technique (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan) for turning wishes into actionable strategies.Whether you're feeling the Quitter’s Day slump or just want to level up your partnership, this episode offers practical tweaks to realign, rebuild, and resilience-proof your goals. Remember: It's the small things done often that make the greatest impact.Grab our Values Guidebook from the store to uncover your core values and supercharge your motivation. Drop your thoughts in the comments or DM us—what relationship goal are you tweaking today?Follow us for more on building stronger connections. Thanks for listening! | — | ||||||
| 1/8/26 | What Needs to Die in Your Marriage? Bold Questions for a New Year | In this episode of "Master Your Marriage," hosts Robert and Sharla Snow challenge the trending notion that January is solely for hibernation and survival mode. While acknowledging the appeal of rest and cozy winter vibes, they argue that growth in your relationship isn't confined to a calendar date—it's a daily choice.Robert and Sharla introduce a fresh framework for setting intentions in your marriage: subtraction, growth, and protection. They adapt three powerful questions to help couples build stronger partnerships:What Has to Die in Your Marriage? Explore limiting beliefs, behaviors, and patterns that are holding you back, like avoiding tough conversations, constant phone distractions, holding grudges, micromanaging, or assuming your partner's needs without asking. The hosts share personal examples and encourage listeners to identify and release these weights.What Has to Grow in Your Marriage? Identify neglected areas (like intimacy or shared adventures) and double down on what's working well (such as weekly check-ins). Robert and Sharla discuss nurturing ambition and direct communication for deeper connection.What Has to Be Protected in Your Marriage? Guard the rhythms, habits, and elements that already strengthen your bond, like trust, quality time, and healthy boundaries.Whether it's January or July, this episode offers actionable insights for intentional relationship growth. Grab your journal, reflect with your partner, and prioritize 1-2 items per question. Share your takeaways with us on social media or in an email!Key Topics Discussed:Trending winter "hibernation" mindset vs. embracing growth anytimeThe pitfalls of endless addition in goal-settingPersonal reflections on limiting beliefs and habitsPractical examples of toxic behaviors to eliminateStrategies for amplifying strengths and protecting what's goodJournaling exercise for couplesConnect with Us:Follow @MasterYourMarriage on Instagram, and FacebookEmail your stories: masteryourmarriage@gmail.com Subscribe and leave a review to support the show!This episode is perfect for couples ready to subtract the negative, grow together, and protect their love in 2026 and beyond. | — | ||||||
| 12/30/25 | Declutter Your Marriage: 14 Toxic Beliefs to Trash in 2026 | Episode Description: Kick off 2026 by decluttering your mind and marriage! In this episode, we explore how cluttered beliefs create misery in relationships and share 14 destructive marriage myths backed by research from experts like John Gottman, Murray Bowen, David Schnarch, and Carol Dweck. Learn healthier alternatives to foster deeper connection, reduce resentment, and build a fulfilling partnership. Perfect for couples seeking healthy relationship tips, toxic belief deconstruction, and marriage advice grounded in science.Keywords: toxic marriage beliefs, declutter your marriage, healthy relationship tips 2026, Gottman marriage research, Bowen family systems theory, Schnarch intimacy advice, Harvard happiness study relationships.The 14 Destructive Beliefs & Healthier Alternatives"My spouse should make me happy / complete me." Faulty due to external locus of control leading to lower satisfaction (Australian Study). Alternative: "My spouse is a companion in my happiness—I am responsible for my own emotional well-being.""If they really loved me, they'd know what I need without me saying it." Mind-reading expectations cause conflict (Mind-Reading Study; ResearchGate PDF). Alternative: "Love includes clear, kind communication about my needs and feelings.""A happy marriage means we never fight or have conflict." Gottman's research shows 69% of issues are perpetual (Gottman Institute). Alternative: "Conflict is an opportunity to understand each other better and grow closer through repair.""My partner should change to fix our problems." Satisfaction driven by perceptions, not partner change (PNAS Study). Alternative: "I can only change myself. Leading by example often invites positive shifts in my partner.""Disparate sexual desires mean we're incompatible." Normal in all relationships per Schnarch's "sexual crucible" (Crucible Institute; Psychology Today). Alternative: "Differences in desire are normal and offer growth opportunities.""Keeping score of who does more is fair and necessary." Breeds resentment; generosity boosts satisfaction (Equity Theory Review). Alternative: "We're on the same team. Generosity brings us closer.""My spouse is responsible for my emotional reactions." Bowen theory: Differentiation reduces reactivity (Bowen Center). Alternative: "I am responsible for managing my own emotions.""True love means total agreement on everything." Happy couples disagree on 69% of issues (Gottman Perpetual Problems). Alternative: "We can disagree respectfully; differences enrich us.""If I try harder, they'll finally appreciate me/change." Over-functioning leads to burnout (Bowen Over/Under-Functioning). Alternative: "Healthy relationships thrive on mutual effort and reciprocity.""A little jealousy and control shows how much I care." Links to lower satisfaction (Jealousy Review). Alternative: "Trust and freedom build deep love.""Criticism and contempt are just honest feedback." Top divorce predictors (Gottman Four Horsemen). Alternative: "Kind, specific feedback is honest and effective.""Marriage should stay the same as when we fell in love." Fixed mindset predicts dissatisfaction (Growth Mindset Overview). Alternative: "Marriage is ongoing growth through updated love maps.""If it's hard, it means we're not right for each other." All couples face perpetual issues (Gottman Study). Alternative: "Challenges are normal; we strengthen by working through them.""Marriage is supposed to be incredibly hard work all the time." Relationships predict happiness per Harvard Study (Harvard Gazette; Harvard Health). Alternative: "Meaningful effort is rewarding and creates joy."Resources & Further ReadingThe Gottman Institute - Research on healthy marriages.The Bowen Center - Family systems theory.Crucible Institute - David Schnarch's work on intimacy.Carol Dweck's Growth Mindset.Harvard Study of Adult Development - Longest happiness study.Join the ConversationDownload our FREE Communication Guide to improve your marriage today: Get it here.Visit our website for more resources: MasterYourMarriage.us.Follow us on social: Facebook @MasterYourMarriage | Instagram @MasterYourMarriage.If you enjoyed this episode on toxic marriage... | — | ||||||
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