Men, Sex, and Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, sexuality coach Brett Matthews shares how his own early struggles with shame, anxiety, and unworthiness around sex became the “wound” that led him into embodiment work and coaching. We discuss how many clients seek help at crisis points, how porn and disembodied self-pleasure can condition performance habits, and why foundational practices like body awareness, deeper breathing, nervous-system regulation, subconscious retraining/hypnotherapy, and arousal training matter. We also explore performance anxiety’s roots in feeling “not enough,” fear of abandonment, and the power of vulnerability and partner communication.Key Points:06:50 Porn Conditioning Effects10:48 Core Practices For Men16:53 Anxiety And "Not Enough"26:23 Long Term Relationship Repair30:53 Initiation And Manhood37:38 Celibacy And Self Identity45:01 Initiation Through Pleasure

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam interviews Ali Gilbert, a coach known as the “Queen of Men’s Health,” who works with high-performing men over 40 through an integrated model combining medical, training, nutrition, lifestyle, and recovery support to reduce decision fatigue. They discuss how men often follow fragmented advice from multiple experts, switch strategies too quickly, and struggle to isolate what actually works, emphasizing coordinated communication across providers. Common goals include energy, longevity, body composition, and guidance around TRT, including proper dosing, lab monitoring, and the reality that TRT is typically a lifetime commitment when well managed. They also explore how male sexual concerns are often oversimplified as “testosterone or pills,” highlighting stress, anxiety, relationship dynamics, and other hormonal factors (thyroid, DHEA, pregnenolone) as key influences, and the importance of normalizing “boner talk” and focusing on root causes rather than quick fixes.Key points:05:42 TRT Myths And Symptoms11:59 Stress Kills Libido20:18 Performance Anxiety Trap25:41 Handling Higher Libido33:54 Beyond Testosterone Alone39:15 Final Takeaways and Thanks

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Vanessa Cuccia, founder of Chakrubs and an interdisciplinary musician, shares how a period of healing from a toxic relationship, her work at an adult store, and exposure to crystals at a spiritual gathering sparked the idea of crystal pleasure tools for both pleasure and emotional support.Key Points:04:30 Making Crystal Toys11:54 Safety and Contraindications14:03 Introducing Toys Intentionally19:58 Ritual Methods and Moon Charging24:31 Obsidian Anal Plug and Shame31:21 Curiosity Over Rules38:59 Depth Versus Play42:23 Pressure Free Pleasure

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure, host Cam Fraser delves into the issues surrounding AI-generated deepfake abuse, featuring insights from guest Noelle Martin, a PhD candidate, lawyer, and global activist. Noelle sheds light on the harmful impacts of deepfake technology, particularly on women and girls, and discusses Australia's position and challenges in addressing online image-based abuse. The conversation highlights the importance of scrutinizing and enforcing regulations, the role of tech companies, and the need for a multifaceted approach including education, legal action, and grassroots activism. Cam and Noelle address the societal and cultural aspects underpinning this abuse, offering both despair and hope through advocacy and legal reforms.Key points:03:17 Challenges in Enforcing Online Safety Laws06:50 Global Nature of Image-Based Abuse10:48 Educational Approaches and Challenges25:44 Societal and Cultural Issues36:19 Call to Action and Conclusion

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Lee Chambers discusses his diverse roles as a father, educator, psychologist, and author, while emphasizing his fascination with human behavior and interaction. He shares his journey of understanding masculinity, gender dynamics, and generational perspectives on these issues. Lee's experiences, including overcoming a severe health challenge and exploring personal and professional growth, have shaped his insights. The discussion touches on the motivations behind Male Allies UK, challenges faced by teenage boys in today's digital world, and the importance of creating supportive environments for personal development. Cam and Lee delve into the complexities of competitiveness and the psychological and social impacts of modern technology on young people.Key Points:06:15 Reflections on Competitiveness12:14 Navigating Modern Masculinity21:06 Challenges of Young Men Today24:29 The Influence of Technology and Social Media32:19 The Importance of Offline Interaction for Boys47:51 Teenage Loneliness and AI Companions55:26 Economic Concerns and Future Uncertainty59:29 Reflecting on the Pandemic's Impact

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, Isiah McKimmie, a couples counselor and sexologist with 15 years of experience, discusses strategies for helping individuals and couples build healthier relationships and improve their sex lives. Isiah emphasizes the importance of discussing difficult topics outside the bedroom in low-stakes situations to foster better communication inside the bedroom. She highlights the impact of sexual challenges on overall well-being and offers insights into addressing common issues such as mismatched libidos, sexual dysfunction, and emotional disconnection. The discussion also covers the benefits of engaging in playful activities to bond with partners and new approaches to therapy, including couples retreats designed to provide a relaxing yet insightful experience. The conversation is rich with practical advice and underlines the need for empathy, structured communication, and creative solutions in nurturing intimate relationships.Key Points:02:39 Two-Way Street of Sexual Dysfunction09:51 Games and Activities to Improve Intimacy15:57 Navigating Mismatched Libidos22:53 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in Relationships23:45 The Need for Non-Sexual Physical Intimacy29:02 Exploring the Erotic Menu Concept32:53 Introducing Couples Retreats for Relationship Enhancement37:50 Addressing Anxiety and Pressure in Romantic Getaways

In this episode, Mike Andryszewski shares his personal and professional journey in the realm of bodywork, sexuality, and spirituality. Mike discusses his background as a bodyworker and the various modalities he incorporates into his practice, including Thai massage, myofascial release, and craniosacral therapy. He emphasizes the importance of integrating mind-body connection and addressing deeper emotional issues through therapeutic touch. Mike also opens up about his experiences with premature ejaculation, sexual shame, and the transformative power of open communication with partners. The conversation delves into Mike's time as a celibate monk in a Hari Krishna ashram, his subsequent sexual renaissance, and how he reconciles his spirituality with his sexuality. The discussion culminates in the significance of connecting with nature and sensuality as a means to enhance both sexual and spiritual well-being.Key points:00:00 Introduction and Hot Seat Questions00:20 Mike's Background and Passion01:57 Exploring Body Work04:53 Integrating Coaching and Body Work07:48 Personal Journey and Sexual Renaissance12:22 Overcoming Premature Ejaculation20:16 The Role of Communication in Sexual Health27:46 Managing Shame and Expectations in Sexual Experiences30:33 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Relationships32:26 Exploring Spirituality and Sexuality38:30 Integrating Spiritual Practices into Sexual Experiences42:41 Connecting with Nature and Sensuality47:13 Final Thoughts and Practical Advice

On this episode, Cam interviews returning guest Kiki Maree, a sexologist, who discusses her passion for helping individuals express and understand their sexuality more authentically. The conversation covers the significant impact of body image on sexual satisfaction and the importance of understanding the fluidity of sexuality throughout life stages. Kiki shares insights on normalizing changes in sexual desire and function, particularly in relation to the menstrual cycle and life transitions such as parenthood and menopause. Cam adds his perspective on supporting men in accepting changes in their bodies and sexual function, highlighting the influence of media and societal expectations on self-perception. They also address practical tools and strategies for improving body image and sexual satisfaction, including focusing on body functionality and finding relatable representations in media. The episode concludes with a discussion on fostering a positive relationship with one's body, both individually and within intimate partnerships.00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction01:04 Understanding Sexuality and Menstrual Cycle04:29 Body Image Issues in Sexuality08:00 Impact of Body Image on Intimacy16:43 Strategies for Positive Body Image26:02 Practical Tips for Self-Compassion35:11 The Reality of Porn Representation36:24 Finding Authentic Representation37:52 Exposure to Diverse Bodies42:41 Personal Journey to Body Acceptance46:21 The Influence of Social Media on Body Image51:36 Reframing Exercise and Diet Culture55:38 Conclusion and ResourcesFree Body Image Masterclass: https://www.wixforms.com/f/7398981604351149056

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Annette Benedetti—Portland-based sex and intimacy coach, writer, and host of the acclaimed show Talk Sex With Annette—about reclaiming pleasure, power, and connection through curiosity and compassion. Ranked in the top 2.5% of podcasts globally, Annette’s work dives deep into taboo-breaking conversations around kink, trauma, and empowerment, informed by both her professional expertise and lived experience as a survivor.We explore how cultural narratives and trauma shape our relationship with sexuality, the body, and intimacy—and how healing begins with awareness, consent, and curiosity. Annette shares practical insights on rebuilding trust and sensation after trauma, moving away from performance-based sex toward mutual exploration, and helping men appreciate their own bodies as worthy of pleasure and beauty.A raw, empowering conversation about dismantling shame, embracing embodiment, and creating space for authentic healing and pleasure.Key Points:@ 0:52 Barriers to embracing feminine power@ 4:39 Navigating trauma and its impacts@ 9:43 Rebuilding trust and sensation after trauma@ 16:31 Reframing goals and expectations around sex@ 47:30 Appreciating the male form and bodyRelevant Links:Annette Benedetti Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/Annette Benedetti YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannette

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak again with Leah Carey—sex and relationship coach based in the US who specializes in supporting people recovering from high-control or narcissistic abuse backgrounds. This time, we explore how trauma impacts intimacy, consent, and sexual connection. She explains how constant stress and lack of autonomy in childhood wire the brain for hypervigilance and fear, reducing creative problem-solving and shaping long-term challenges in relationships. We discuss why common self-care practices like meditation or journaling can be triggering for survivors, and explore trauma-sensitive alternatives that feel safer and more accessible. Leah also unpacks the complexities of intimacy and consent for those with trauma histories, including people-pleasing tendencies, blurred boundaries, and strategies for cultivating safe, pleasurable experiences. A deeply compassionate dialogue on recovery, autonomy, and reclaiming intimacy after control.Key Points@ 4:36 Impact of trauma on brain development@ 12:27 Challenges with common self-care practices@ 18:37 Navigating intimacy and consent@ 50:59 Recap and resourcesRelevant LinksLeah Carey Website: www.leahcarey.comLeah’s Substack: https://xoleahcarey.substack.com/Leah Carey Instagram: @goodgirlstalk

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, I speak with Rob Kancler, men’s coach and facilitator drawing on Tantra, Taoism, and somatic practices about the developmental journey of male sexuality and intimacy. Rob shares how early experiences of isolation and confusion shape men’s long-term challenges with self-esteem, connection, and performance. We explore the role of the nervous system in intimacy, unpacking how fear-based responses like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn often disrupt presence and pleasure. Rob and I discuss reframing masculinity and responsibility in relationships, shifting away from rigid scripts toward curiosity, creativity, and authentic communication. A rich conversation on cultivating embodied intimacy, regulating the nervous system, and redefining what it means to lead with presence in sex and relationships.Key Points:@1:19 The development of male and intimacy@4:29 Nervous system awareness and fear-based responses @17:34 Reframing masculinity and responsibility in intimacy @1:14:21 Closing reflections and resources

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I interview Professor Alan McKee, who has spent nearly three decades researching pornography and healthy sexual development. We discuss the need to include heterosexual men in sexual health conversations, debunk common myths about pornography, and emphasise the importance of open communication and sex education for healthy sexual attitudes. We also touch on the cultural shame surrounding sexuality and conclude with plans for a follow-up discussion on the real issues related to pornography.Key points:02:30 Research on Pornography and Sexual Health06:17 Personal Stories of Shame and Sexuality11:27 Misconceptions and Myths about Pornography16:33 Youth and Exposure to Pornography31:45 Debunking the Escalation Myth41:57 Conclusion and Future Discussion