MindfulOpus

S2 Ep #8: Kayleigh Miller is someone I've wanted to have on the podcast since the beginning. And our conversation today doesn't disappoint: we talk about musicians' body health, injury prevention, and what it means to use your voice to advocate for a healthier, more honest industry. I first discovered her on Instagram — not through her movement work, but through her voice. She writes openly about the things most people in our industry rarely say out loud. Sitting down with her felt like a conversation I've been wanting to have for a long time, and I think you're going to feel the same way. Kayleigh is a freelance violist and movement educator based in Seattle, and former member of the San Antonio Symphony and Chautauqua Symphony. She holds certifications in yoga, Pilates, body mapping, and personal training, and works with musicians and non-musicians alike. Her blog, The Musicians Collective, has sparked some of the most honest conversations happening in our field right now. We cover a lot of ground in this one, starting with the body: how to understand pain, what different sensations are actually telling you, and why developing body awareness is one of the most important things a musician can do at any stage of their career. Then we move into the harder conversations: what's really going on behind the scenes in professional orchestras, the injuries that don't get talked about, the teaching dynamics that have shaped so many of us in ways we're still unpacking, and what it would actually look like to change the culture from the inside out. Kayleigh is warm, direct, and deeply knowledgeable, and I think her perspective will stay with you long after this episode ends. You'll Discover: - Why musicians are small muscle athletes and what that means for how we care for our bodies - The difference between productive discomfort, fatigue, and pain that needs real attention - How the brain's threat response shapes the experience of pain, and why it's not always proportionate to the actual injury - Why spine mobility is the often-skipped foundation for shoulder, neck, and arm health in musicians - What teachers can do to better support student body awareness without needing to become movement specialists - The culture of silence around professional musician injuries, why it exists, and what it costs us - How abusive or controlling teaching dynamics show up in music education, and how to recognize them - Why strength training supports rather than hinders playing, and how to approach it without ego - What it looks like to advocate for yourself and your students in a culture that hasn't always made that easy Timestamps: (00:02) welcome and the heart of this show (00:32) introducing Kayleigh Miller, violist, movement educator, and honest voice in classical music (02:53) starting on violin, falling for viola, and picking it up at seventeen (05:07) landing in Seattle, building a movement practice, and the winding road of an artist plus (07:12) following curiosity from yoga teacher training to body nerd for musicians (09:30) we are small muscle athletes, what that means for injury awareness and prevention (13:56) why teachers matter and where to start without becoming a certified body expert (18:38) mapping the pain buckets: fatigue, discomfort, sharp pain, numbness, and the threat bucket concept (23:16) pain science, the brain, and why signals aren't always proportionate to tissue damage (28:00) the spine as your root system, why most musicians skip it and go straight to the hands (30:18) the culture of silence around orchestral injuries, programming decisions, and the biological tax of performing (34:57) treating musicians like athletes, shame, and what real institutional support could look like (43:30) recognizing harmful teaching dynamics, what they look like, and why they're still happening (49:10) moving from perfectionism to excellence, growth mindset, and changing the culture for the next generation (52:44) the case for strength training and why the narrative that it hurts your playing needs to go Resources Mentioned: Jennifer Johnson, What Every Violinist Needs to Know About the Body — https://giamusic.com/resource/what-every-violinist-needs-to-know-about-the-body-book-g7409 Lea Pearson, What Every Flutist Needs to Know About the Body — https://www.fluteworld.com/product/what-every-musician-needs-to-know-about-the-body/ Janet Horvath, Playing Less Hurt — https://www.amazon.com/Playing-Less-Hurt-Prevention-Musicians/dp/1423488466 Lorimer Moseley, Tame the Beast pain resources and Graded Motor Imagery workbook — https://www.tamethebeast.org/ TEDxAdelaide: Lorimer Moseley, Why Things Hurt — search on YouTube Carol Dweck, Mindset Janice Ying, PT, Opus Physical Therapy, Los Angeles — https://www.opuspt.com More info on Kayleigh Miller: www.kayleigh-miller.com, www.musicianshealthcollective.com Interested in diving deeper into this work with me? Visit mindfulopus.com to learn how we can work together. MindfulOpus has a video podcast! Visit our YouTube channel to watch: youtube.com/@mindfulopus Come say hi over on Instagram @mindfulopus

S2 Ep #6: This episode felt like a conversation I'd been wanting to have for a long time — one that goes beyond the highlight reel and into the real, sometimes messy, always human experience of building a sustainable life as a professional musician. Theresa and I talk about injuries, burnout, rejection, perfectionism, and the surprisingly beautiful things that can grow out of our hardest professional moments. Theresa Rudolph is in her 15th season as Assistant Principal Viola of the Toronto Symphony Orchestra, and she's also on faculty at the University of Toronto and the Taylor Academy at the Royal Conservatory of Music — the gifted high school program at the RCM. She's a chamber musician, a mother of three, and someone whose depth of self-knowledge and body awareness genuinely stopped me in my tracks more than once during this conversation. What Theresa shares here is hard-earned. From recovering from a fractured bow arm early in her career, to navigating the emotional complexity of taking auditions while already holding a wonderful job, to learning what it actually means to practice smarter instead of harder — she brings honesty and warmth to all of it. And her perspective on professional disappointment and rejection as a pathway to self-trust? I wasn't expecting to get a little emotional, but here we are. You'll Discover: -Why breaking her bow arm became a turning point in how Theresa listens to and cares for her body -How stress and emotional strain can show up as physical pain in the same spot as a past injury — and what to do about it -What it really means to give your all when you're a working orchestral musician, teacher, and parent -The role that professional disappointment and rejection played in building Theresa's sense of self-trust -Why excellence over perfection isn't just a nice idea — it's a practice that changes how you play and how you feel -How strategic scheduling protects your body and your playing — and why rest days deserve to be treated as sacred -What the inner critic sounds like for both of us, and how to stop fighting it and start hosting it instead Timestamps: (00:00) welcome and introducing theresa rudolph, violist and educator (02:00) musician parents, growing up in vancouver, and how theresa found the viola (05:30) studying with gerald stanek, being pushed with kindness, and falling in love with the inner voice (08:30) winning detroit symphony at 21, the freedom of not knowing how hard it was (11:00) the fractured bow arm in 2007, ignoring the signals for 18 hours, and what she had to learn (16:00) finding a smaller instrument, having babies, and eight years of zero injury (19:30) the push push push culture, people pleasing on the front stand, and redefining giving it your all (23:00) playing schubert 9 in cleveland, less is more, and learning not to muscle your sound (27:00) body care mid rehearsal, athletic taping, bouncy balls backstage, and normalizing the small things (31:30) when stress shows up as physical pain, breathwork and alexander technique as tools (36:00) professional disappointment and rejection as the unexpected path to self trust (40:30) excellence over perfection, working with the same coach as her dad, and why perfect auditions don't exist (44:00) the inner critic, who do you think you are, and giving anxiety an armchair and a blanket (47:30) scheduling as a body care tool, keeping days off sacred, and listening before you practice (50:00) rapid fire, favorite moments on and off stage, spaghetti bolognese, and the gift of sunshine Learrn more about Therersa: https://www.tso.ca/about/orchestra/members-of-the-orchestra/theresa-rudolph Interested in diving deeper into this work with me? Visit mindfulopus.com to learn how we can work together. MindfulOpus has a video podcast! Visit our YouTube channel to watch: youtube.com/@mindfulopus Come say hi over on Instagram @mindfulopus

S2 Ep #4: There comes a point in any creative life where pushing harder stops working. Where the effort that once felt necessary begins to feel depleting, and the question starts to shift from "How do I make this work?" to "Is this actually aligned with who I am?" This conversation explores that turning point—what it means to return to yourself, and the courage it takes to choose that path even when it comes with uncertainty. Host Jo Zakany is joined by cellist Saeunn Thorsteinsdottir, whose career has spanned some of the world's most renowned stages, including Carnegie Hall, Suntory Hall, and the Barbican Centre. After years within the traditional classical music path, she began to listen more deeply to her own inner compass—ultimately stepping away from misaligned structures to build a more meaningful, self-directed creative life. Together, they explore the difference between grind and alignment, the body's role in recognizing what isn't working, and how small moments of authenticity can begin to reshape everything. From improvisation and deep listening to creating music as a form of connection and reflection, this conversation offers a grounded and honest look at what it means to trust yourself—and create from that place. YOU'LL DISCOVER • Why authenticity can feel risky, even when it's true • How the body signals misalignment before the mind understands it • The difference between pushing through and actually being aligned • How small moments of truth can shift your entire creative path • Why improvisation can reconnect you to your voice and intuition • How deep listening transforms both creativity and connection • The role alignment plays in attracting the right people and opportunities Timestamps: (02:10) authenticity, fear, and showing up as yourself (06:35) early career pressure, fitting expectations in music (11:20) fear of losing opportunities, choosing yourself anyway (16:45) academia path, stability versus alignment (22:10) burnout, resistance, and the body saying no (27:55) leaving academia, uncertainty and trust (33:40) why you cannot find the new while in the old (39:15) starting small, finding moments of meaning (44:05) improvisation as a turning point (49:30) rediscovering creativity through play and sound (55:10) three levels of listening, self, others, and environment (01:01:25) creating from truth instead of judgment (01:07:40) soul resonance sessions and meaningful music (01:14:10) alignment versus grind, expectation versus fulfillment ABOUT THE GUEST Saeunn Thorsteinsdottir is a cellist, improviser, and curator who has performed as a soloist with orchestras including the Los Angeles Philharmonic, the Toronto Symphony Orchestra, and the BBC Symphony Orchestra. She has appeared on stages such as Carnegie Hall, Suntory Hall, and the Barbican Centre, and has been praised for her "riveting" performances by The New York Times. Today, she creates deeply meaningful music through her online offerings, The Music Portal and Soul Resonance sessions, and serves as the Artistic Director of Tertulia in New York City—a series that brings world-class chamber music into intimate drinking, dining, and art spaces. CONNECT WITH SAEUNN Website: www.saeunn.com Instagram: @saeunncello Music Portal: www.saeunn.com/music Soul Resonance: www.saeunn.com/soul Interested in diving deeper into this work with me? Visit mindfulopus.com to learn how we can work together. MindfulOpus has a video podcast! Visit our YouTube channel to watch: youtube.com/@mindfulopus Come say hi over on Instagram @mindfulopus

S2 Ep #2: On Perfectionism, Performance Anxiety, and the Purpose of Music Perfectionism and performance anxiety are two forces that so many artists struggle with, often quietly and alone. In this conversation, I sit down with concert pianist, author, and New York Times contributor Jonathan Biss to explore the powerful connection between perfectionism, control, and anxiety in the lives of performers. Jonathan shares openly about his own experiences with perfectionism and how the pressure to never show weakness shaped his life both on and off stage. In our conversation, we talk about why vulnerability is essential to meaningful performance, why perfectionism can lead to stagnation, and how learning to accept what we feel can create a profound sense of freedom as artists and as human beings. This conversation is honest, reflective, and deeply human. We explore what it means to pursue excellence without falling into the trap of perfectionism and how letting go of control can actually expand our artistry rather than limit it. I took so much away from this discussion and I hope you will too. You'll discover: Why perfectionism and anxiety are deeply connected for many musicians and performers. How the fear of exposing weakness can fuel both perfectionism and performance anxiety. Jonathan's personal experience having a panic attack in the middle of a concert and what it taught him. How practicing acceptance can transform your relationship with anxiety on and off stage. Why vulnerability is essential for truly compelling performances. The difference between pursuing excellence and chasing perfection. How letting go of perfectionism can actually expand your artistry and creative freedom. Learn more about Jonathan Biss, his book, and his upcoming album here: www.jonathanbiss.com Interested in diving deeper into this work with me? Visit mindfulopus.com to learn how we can work together. MindfulOpus has a video podcast! Visit our YouTube channel to watch: youtube.com/@mindfulopus Come say hi over on Instagram @mindfulopus!

In this season, we're diving even deeper into the human behind the art, exploring how mindfulness, well-being, and authenticity are essential for creatives like you. If you're ready to move away from toxic grind culture and embrace a more balanced, empowered life, you're in the right place. I'm Jo Zakany, violist with The Cleveland Orchestra, yoga teacher, and coach for classical musicians. Together, we'll explore how to create an inner compass that guides your artistic journey, empowering you to perform with purpose and clarity. Over the next 10 episodes, we'll be exploring concepts, steps, and frameworks that help you create a life on your own terms. You'll learn how to stop shaping your life around other people's expectations and feel truly empowered in how you live and perform. I'm so excited to explore this next season with you! New episodes drop every other Tuesday, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and wherever you listen to podcasts. And now, MindfulOpus has a video podcast! Visit our YouTube channel to watch: youtube.com/@mindfulopus Come say hi! Follow us on Instagram @mindfulopus or visit mindfulopus.com for more updates and resources.

S1 Ep #9: 7 tools to help you actually enjoy performing again In this episode, I share a compassionate, practical, and research-informed approach to one of the biggest challenges we face as performers: what to do when the nerves show up — on stage, in auditions, in big meetings, and in any moment that really matters. Building on the personal performance framework from last week's episode, I walk you through 7 powerful tools drawn from my decades as a performing artist and my work coaching high-level musicians. Each tool comes with a concrete exercise so you can begin shifting your relationship with nerves immediately — not by eliminating them, but by befriending them. In this episode, I share: (04:01) How to reconnect with your artistic "why" (05:38) How to reframe nervousness into excitement/pr> (06:45) How your core values can anchor your performance(08:04) How breathwork regulates your nervous system (10:37) How to use playfulness to soften anxiety (11:52) How to free yourself from perfectionism (13:09) And how befriending difficult emotions can actually improve your performance under pressure By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with seven tangible tools you can start using right away. So go apply these and make the most of that big moment coming up – Or, if you've simply found that nerves have taken away your love of performing on any scale, it's time to change that and bring that freedom of music-making back into your life. And, if you want some more individualized support, click the link below for a free consult: https://mindfulopus.com/#contact

S1 Ep #7: A story of reconnection, self-belief, and coming home to your art. What happens when you've spent years feeling like your playing is never good enough, you're disconnected from your art, or unsure whether this music-thing you once loved is still right for you? In this deep and meaningful conversation, violinist Lauren Roth-Gómez — Acting Associate Concertmaster of the Atlanta Symphony — shares the inner transformation that led her back to herself, her artistry, and her love of music. Lauren opens up about: Nearly walking away from the violin The internal pressures and perfectionism that buried her love for music Rebuilding self-worth from the inside out What it means to cultivate an inner coach How freedom became her guiding lighthouse The moment she realized her worth wasn't tied to a single note, run, or result Her career pivot rooted in creating a life aligned with her values How self-compassion — not self-criticism — became her most powerful performance tool Whether you're a musician, a creative, or someone who has ever questioned your path, Lauren's story is a reminder that you're allowed to evolve, to reconnect, and to come home to your art — one opus at a time… Timestamps (00:00) - Introduction (02:19) - Interview begins (04:01) - Why Lauren chose coaching (07:00) - Ebb and flow of violin journey, and making it her own (11:30) - Tackling feelings of inadequacy, perfectionism and muddy waters (13:35) - Self-compassion (15:25) - Concerto moment: performance shift + self-worth (20:30) - Audition journey: inner coach + critic, resilience amidst obstacles (27:15) - The desire to win, balanced with with releasing any outcome (32:12) - Knowing yourself: self-determination, discipline, perseverance, fierce self-compassion (35:50) - Create the life you want: career pivot, values work, decisions from self-trust and self-love (42:10) - How being yourself is the best way to honor your teachers (45:48) - Rapid fire questions Also - Come say hi! @mindfulopus on Instagram, or mindfulopus.com

S1 Ep #5: A conversation around vulnerability, long-haul artistry, and the case for communication over perfection—through the lens of a 35-year run in one of the most high-pressure chairs in the orchestral world. In this episode, I sit down with my friend and musical hero, Joshua Smith—Grammy-nominated Principal Flute of The Cleveland Orchestra. We trace his early musical journey (yes, it all started with a cool flute case), how showtunes and theatre taught him phrasing and stage presence, and why he's not interested in perfection as a goal. Josh shares how curiosity helps him meet the pressures of a 35-year career, why he resists having a rigid "formula," and how meditation, yoga, and his recent sabbatical re-anchored him into his "beginner's mind". We also talk about his new audition books, The Audition Method and how his core artistic value – communication – has guided him all these years. Favorite quote: "You can't really have freedom and safety at the same time". Who this is for If you're in a high-pressure performing environment and want to know how to cultivate a healthy long-term approach to high-standards and limitless curiosity and freedom in the process, this one's for you. Timestamps (03:10) Early days in music (acting, musicals, phrasing, communication) (12:10) Life is the high-pressure chair (pressure, curiosity, authenticity, perfection, inner-critic, shame, vulnerability, freedom) (36:50) Yoga, meditation, sabbatical, hobbies + creativity, audition book (58:25) Rapid fires Mentioned Debussy: Prélude à l'après-midi d'un faune Beethoven Symphony No. 9 Brené Brown on perfectionism & vulnerability Tara Brach (talks), Yoga Nidra Slow Horses (series) The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny (novel) New York Times Book Review (podcast) Guest Joshua Smith — Principal Flute, The Cleveland Orchestra (Grammy-nominated), author of The Audition Method (flute; series also includes clarinet & violin). IG: @JoshuaSoloFlute • Web: soloflute.com Connect with me IG: @mindfulopus • Web: mindfulopus.com If this episode resonated, add the show to your library, give it 5 stars, leave a short review, or share it with a friend. You can also grab my free well-being resource on my website.

S1 Ep #3: A conversation around mindfulness, perfectionism, well-being, and rewriting the audition story from the inside out. In this powerful conversation, I sit down with James Patterson, Tredjestilling Horn (3rd/1st horn) player with the Oslo Philharmonic, to explore the intersection of mindfulness, performance, and the audition journey. James shares how mindfulness first became a steadying force for him during school—helping him manage stress, explore healthy hobbies, and cultivate balance beyond the practice room. But the heart of this episode lies in his story of transformation: from feeling trapped in perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking to completely reimagining his approach to auditions—with his well-being front and center. We unpack what it means to decide to feel good in the process itself—and how that single mindset shift reshaped not just his preparation, but his entire experience. By rebuilding his audition process from the inside out, James discovered the curiosity and self-acceptance that ultimately led him to win two orchestral jobs back to back. We also talk about what life looks like after the audition—the ongoing practice of letting go of perfectionism, staying connected to music in new ways, and redefining what work-life balance can truly mean. Whether you're in audition mode, mentoring others, or navigating the day-to-day of professional performance, this episode offers practical insights and compassionate reminders about honoring yourself and your well-being—at every stage of your musical journey. Episode Highlights (06:40) Mindfulness, school and supportive hobbies (18:52) Audition struggles (28:44) Audition 180 (43:31) Audition process breakdown (56:41) Post audition life, job +well-being exploration (59:44) Rapid fire questions Also - Come say hi! @mindfulopus on Instagram, or mindfulopus.com

S1 Ep #1: In the classical music world, we're often taught that struggle is the price of greatness. That if you just sacrifice a little more—your health, your time, your relationships—you'll finally get the result you've been chasing. But what if our artistry didn't have to come at the cost of our humanity? In this debut episode, I take you behind the curtain of my own journey - and when my biggest win also became your biggest wake-up call. From grueling childhood auditions in France, to winning my dream job at 21 and facing career-threatening injuries, I share how burnout forced me to find a new way forward. You'll hear how yoga, mindfulness, and coaching gave me a path back to health, balance, and presence—and why I now believe well-being isn't optional, but essential for creating both great art and a fulfilling life. By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with: A new perspective on why "grind culture" is unsustainable in classical music. A definition of well-being that goes beyond "getting by." Three simple reflection questions you can use today to check in with your own well-being. Reflection Questions from the Episode Where in my life am I neglecting my well-being the most? How is this affecting me—both on stage and off? What's one small shift I can make that feels manageable and sustainable? Also - Come say hi! @mindfulopus on Instagram, or mindfulopus.com