Monster Crush

Happy Monster Daddy’s Day! While monster dads are far less common than monster moms but we were able to find two frightful flirting fathers all the same. Plus we have A LOT of Spooky News today! So strap in and strap on for the Caribbean nature spirit, Papa Bois, and the Father of All Turtles, the island-sized Zaratan!Featuring: LD is back, what dad archetype do you have, Book Review of Mothman is My Boyfriend by McKayla Coyle - Spooky News: new oceanic discoveries, WHALE NECROPOLIS, cretaceous krakens, prehistoric carnivorous squirrels, evolution needs a little FAFO, UFOs vs. UTIs, DC exorcist is exorcised, Mummy Bread - a satyr but not technically, hot snake wife, from crab to turtle, the zaratan may be the father-of-all-turtles but Splinter is the daddy of all turtles, AND MORE!CW: Mentions of fathers throughout, news about the Catholic Church including historical wrongs as well as US politics (46:20-53:00), eating mummies (55:30-57:30)We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.Use code THELADYDAME for 10% off of your order from Friday Afternoon Tea - https://www.fridaytea.com - we suggest the Smut-Tea and/or the Sword & Tea

Monster Crush has been CURSED! But mostly the curse is that we played a game for too long, had too much fun, and had to turn one episode into two… So I think we’ll survive! What was planned to be an episode about cursed objects turned into a not-so-mini-game about Haunted Dolls on Ebay. Things did not go to plan when our Haunted Doll Watch turned into a Haunted Doll Botch. But with Shadow in the guest host seat for this episode, we definitely still had a good time!Featuring: We trust our pets when it comes to the supernatural - Spooky News: AI Muscular ET Captured?, New Nessie Sighting, Legalize the Loveland Frogman - nothing says you can’t mail haunted dolls to your enemies - a soggy & sad doll - a doll with real Karen energy - Jilted Witch Bride Permanent Physical Spirit Companion - buying haunted dolls is the same as adopting cats - “shadow-stitched child of the haunted veil” - look out for a Haunted Doll Cafe coming to a city near you! - AND MORE!CW: Implications of death and haunting (26:00-end of episode), Current US politics and AI (9:40-15:25), more slightly less upsetting politics (16:40-21:00), Child death and murder (26:00-30:00, 47:00-), Mention of cancer (32:20-32:40)We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network - beacons.ai/swordandkey. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.Use code THELADYDAME for 10% off of your order from Friday Afternoon Tea - https://www.fridaytea.com - we suggest the Smut-Tea and/or the Sword & Tea

WE’RE BACK! Just in time for halloween we return to our teratophilic ways to explore romance with one of the most iconic monsters - FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER!!! So get ready for jokes to leave you in stitches, love that strikes like lightning, and a monster ready for LONG-TERM commitments because… IT’S ALIVE!!!Featuring: Our podcast relationship Unicorn (Shadow), Halloween traditions & memories, LD’s Smut Corner - Scared Sexy Collection, a collection of dudes - a bro-pourri or a dude turducken, 8 feet tall and full of emotions, epistolary novels are just early found footage, Mary Shelley is a freak and a true Gothic Queen, we love cliterature… if you can find it, enormous schwanstuckers, AND MORE!CW: body horror, minor references to gun violence, fictional child death, fictional murder, and references to historical misogynyWe are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

Monster Crush is back after our Summer Break with all new chills and thrills. For this episode, Derek is joined by special guest Shadow (@shadowsilvia on socials) to discuss the noble Unicorn! And these horny horses have a wild history hiding behind all those sparkles and rainbows. Author Chris Lavers is quoted as saying “The history of the unicorn myth is so tangled that to try and unravel it is to glimpse madness”. But we’d gladly glimpse madness for some unicorn love! Featuring: Chupacabras on Ice, unicorns are not what you think but also they are, the first unicorns were more unicows, shock-resistant horns, a medieval figure with the best name - Ole Worm, unicorn horns can cure anything (and nothing), whale blubber tastes like hazelnut, a 300 year-long Scandinavian scam, 2026 is the year of the alicorn, we keep going back to square rhinoceros, unicorns are super gay, AND MORE!CW: Mentions of Christianity/real world religion throughout, Brief reference to the anniversary of 9/11 and recent news events (7:45-7:55) We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

On this date we fly back into the weird world of Yokai for a couple of avian singletons to nest with. So strap on and strap in for the Kogarasu and the Niwatori no sō! These two feathered friends are sure to peck their way into your hearts… perhaps literally.Featuring: Toilet ghosts and sentient umbrellas, a trip to LD’s Smut Corner, Spooky News: Bigfoot could get you high, eat the prideful and haughty, chicken’s grudge-curse, cloacal kisses, AND MORE!CW: Mentions of explosions/fireworks and allusions to the current state of the US (1:30-2:15), yokai/urban legend violence (6:30-7:25), drug use (20:30-26:30), monsters eating dead humans (29:10-33:40), bird-based body horror (33:45-40:00)We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

Happy Pride, you beautiful Monster Crushers! To celebrate the queerest time of the year we wanted to present you all with a true gay icon. And, since we covered Mothman back in episode 69, we delved into pop culture for a figure who has represented the LGBTQ+ community for decades now. So strap on and strap in for the true Master of the Universe and master of our hearts, Skeletor! This skeletal singleton is sure to rattle your bones in the best of ways!Featuring: Pride Month for monster fucking, it’s all fucking weird fucking, Spooky News: Annabelle the Doll Contained(?) and Squatch Sighting in Colorado, a new game: Battlecat or Cringer (Masters of the Universe Smash or Pass), the history and queerness of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, very important discussions about facial hair, abs on abs on abs, AND MORE!CW: General discussions of sex, kink, and monster fucking (throughout the episode… I mean, come on), mention of con artists and objectively bad people Ed & Lorraine Warren (10:15-11:30), house fire and prison escape (12:55-13:13:35)We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

We at Monster Crush want to celebrate Mother’s Day in the only way we know how… by making it about smooching monsters. So if you have mommy energy (however you personally define that), we want to wish you a special day full of whatever monsters you love best. But for us, we had to feature a monstrous mother of other monsters coming straight from Greek myth with the monster matriarch, the Echidna! So strap in and strap on for a serpentine seductress that will make you say “yes, mommy”.Featuring: Strong Mommy Energy, is LD ‘Mother’?, shoutout Derek’s mom, if you email us weird things - we will email you weird things back, monster moms in pop culture, Spooky News - NASA Chief Flight Surgeon sees an American UFO, research on a potential UFO sphere, Joe Nickell and a legacy of skepticism - echidna but the cute animal, a CatDog of a monster, so so many monster offspring, Typhon’s really nice couch, clean your all-purpose holes, AND MORE!CW: Mythological dismemberment (16:40-17:00), brief mention of mythological incest - i.e. Theseus (49:50-50:00)We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.

EPISODE 100 IS HERE! I can’t believe we actually made it to 100 episodes! And speaking of things that are hard to believe, is there a monster lurking in the depths of Loch Ness? Yes… at least we want the answer to be yes because we LOVE NESSIE! So strap in and strap on for Derek’s first monster love with The Loch Ness Monster! Also, a special thank you to all of you who have joined us on this wonderful monster ride and a very special thank you to Heaven-Leigh and Ellie for starting this amazing project for all of us to enjoy!Featuring: Do invisible monsters *eject* invisible fluids?, Spooky News: Forbidden Designer Dogs - judging baby names, Checkov’s panties (if they go on in the first act, they come off by the third), top cryptids list, her humps - her lovely Nessie humps, pulling a Gandalf, Nessie needs to get out of the road, hoaxes.. so many hoaxes, Nessie aka Sandy or Archibald, King Kong, new photos of Nessie, pay for us to go to Scotland, Mr. Crowley, Catfished by Nessie, AND MORE! CW: Mention of fictional SA (6:45 - 7:00), genetic manipulation (4:30 - 15:30), Catholicism (28:45 - 31:30), drowning/underwater monster attack (29:40 - 31:30), suicide/tragedy (1:01 - 1:02)We are proud to be a part of the Sword & Key Network. Our music is by the handsome and talented Nick Lambert. Find him on Instagram @lambertropolis. All other music and sounds are licensed through Epidemic Sounds.