Mothering Ourselves Mindfully

In this rich and wide-ranging conversation, I'm joined by Leslie Forde — researcher, founder, and author of Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom's Hierarchy of Needs. Leslie's work began after a brutal return from maternity leave landed her in burnout, and what emerged from the wreckage was a research obsession that has since become a roadmap for mothers everywhere. We talk about the invisible forces quietly draining our energy, why moms have been left out of the health span movement, and why - backed by real data - your self-care is quite literally the most important thing you can do for your children.Key PointsThe Three Ghosts — the hidden forces sapping your time, energy, and wellbeing: mental load, decision fatigue, and time scarcity. Leslie breaks down what each one is, how they compound one another, and what you can actually do about them.The suitcase metaphor — why trying to fit your needs into an already overpacked life is like traveling with a tiny suitcase and giving all the space to everyone else. (And why it's time to get your own suitcase.)The biological limit on decisions — you have a decision budget each day. Once it's spent, it's spent. Understanding this changes how you structure your mornings, your work, and where you spend your mental energy.Time scarcity and the brain — research shows that whether the scarcity is food, money, or time, the neurological impact is the same. Mothers are disproportionately drowning in time scarcity, and it's not a personal failing — it's math.The health data that should stop us in our tracks — women live nine fewer healthy years than men, 80% of autoimmune disease sufferers are women, and postpartum suicide is a leading cause of maternal death. This is not a wellness trend. This is a health crisis.The number one predictor of a child's health and happiness — spoiler: it's their mother's health and happiness. The research is clear. Your nervous system regulation is your most important parenting tool.Why moms are being left out of the healthspan movement — men are biohacking their way to longevity while mothers are cleaning counters and filling out camp forms. Leslie is here to change that.Practical strategies — from batching decisions to protecting your mornings to asking your manager what they actually need, there are real, tangible ways to reclaim cognitive space and build a life that works for you.Quotes"We feel like it's our fault — but the reality is, we are trying to cram a week's worth of stuff into a two-day suitcase.""If you're not in good mental and physical health, it actually hurts your children. And nobody wins if you go down in flames.""Health for moms is my ministry.""You may have to fiercely defend your dignity and your human right to claim the space that you need. It's difficult, but it's necessary."Resources Mentioned📖 Repair with Self-Care: Your Guide to the Mom's Hierarchy of Needs by Leslie Forde: https://a.co/d/0iHy0x8v🌐 Leslie's website + wellness app + research study: momshierarchyofneeds.com💼 Connect with Leslie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/momshierarchyofneeds/📖 Estrogen Matters — referenced by Leslie on menopause, health span, and longevity for women: https://a.co/d/08miRehAConnect with Sarah🎙️ Send Sarah your voice note right here! SpeakPipe — Send a voice message to The School of Mom: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I'm diving into one of the biggest barriers I hear from women about joining The School of Mom: "I don't have time." Here's the truth that might sting a little: the very thing that will change your relationship with time IS this program. And the belief that you don't have time is exactly what's preventing you from the transformation you're seeking. I'm breaking down the neuroscience of "story follows state," sharing my own time scarcity moments, and explaining why our beliefs about time are actually rooted in our nervous system programming—not reality.Key PointsUnderstanding "story follows state" - how your nervous system state creates your beliefs about timeCommon time traps we fall into: "there's never enough time," "time is a thief," "you'll miss this one day"How stress states drive our scarcity beliefs around time versus ventral vagal (grounded) state beliefsWhy saying "I don't have time" is really "I'm not making time" - and that's okay to acknowledgeThe distinction between seasons where something truly doesn't fit versus when it's a priority issueHow writing a book taught me I can never say "I don't have time" againWhy multitasking won't work for nervous system healing - you actually need to pay attentionWhat will you wish you had made time for on your deathbed?Integration practices designed specifically for moms (not morning routines that don't work when you're sleep-deprived)When it's NOT a good time to join: deep postpartum, acute life transitions, major moves or illnessWhy I'm no longer spending time convincing women they have time - meeting you where you areQuotes"Story follows state. The state that we are in our nervous system, in our body dictates the lens through which we see the world.""When I slow down, time slows down.""I can never ever say again that I don't have time because I writing a book, hours and hours and hours of writing.""I do have time. I make time for what matters to me.""This is not another thing that you have to add on. It's changing how you move through what you're already doing.""People on their deathbed say they wish they were more present, they wish they had more time to play, they wish they were in that nervous system state that is that connected grounded state.""I am entering a new era where I no longer have time to try to convince you that you can make the time."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully signature program - starting February 23rd: http://www.theschoolofmom.com/mom"It Is Round Time" - bonus training included with MOM program enrollment about rewiring your relationship with timeBook a call with Sarah to discuss if the program is right for you: https://app.paperbell.com/checkout/packages/149935Send Sarah your voice note right here!What's Coming NextRegistration is open NOW for Mothering Ourselves Mindfully! This 8-week program includes four small group integration calls (Mondays at 12pm Eastern or Thursdays at 1pm Eastern) and four live teaching calls. Plus everyone who joins receives the complete "It Is Round Time" series as a bonus.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode recorded during a snowy winter walk, I'm sharing the huge announcement I've been building toward - and it starts with a powerful truth: awareness isn't enough. You can't think your way into change. I'm opening up about why support is the missing piece in our transformation, sharing a "weird woo" meditation experience that reminded me why community is non-negotiable, and officially announcing that Mothering Ourselves Mindfully is opening for enrollment! This is where The School of Mom began in 2020, and it's coming back more refined, more embodied, and more essential than ever.Key PointsWhy awareness alone isn't enough - you can't think your way into lasting changeThe reality that our conscious mind is only 5-10% of our experience - the rest is driven by our nervous systemThe flip side of unsubscribing: What do you want to subscribe to instead?Why unsubscribing from the belief that you can do this alone is the most important unsubscriptionHow my body speaks in full movies and visions during somatic meditationThe powerful meditation vision: flying alone through the storm vs. sitting in circle with other women, stoking our inner lightWhy the only way to fly through life's weather is to first sit in circle and become the lightThe truth that we don't have many models of emotionally attuned, grounded adults in our livesYou get to be the unicorn - and actually, you have to be, because no one else is stepping upWhy you can only give to others what you can give to yourself (backed by my entire grad school thesis!)How every time we teach or hear something, we're different people - that's why repetition isn't redundant, it's essentialThe urgency and timeliness of this work for your lineage - we don't have time to put it offQuotes"Awareness isn't enough. Awareness of why we do the things we do and what we're supposed to do to change it is not enough.""The missing piece in all of this is support.""If you are listening and you get to be [a unicorn], I want you to actually feel pride in the responsibility that you actually have to be, because we need grounded, attuned, steady adults in our world right now.""You can only be as compassionate to someone else, you can only love someone else, as much as you are compassionate and love yourself.""I am walking this walk with you. I am not gonna sit in a circle with you and try to support you in releasing your shame if I haven't been able to do that myself.""We don't have time to say, I don't have time for that. We don't have time to put it off. And now is the time.""Why not be the mom that triggers people when you're like, 'You know what? I just don't feel busy. I sleep really well.' You're not saying it to make someone feel bad, but you're being the unicorn."Resources MentionedMothering Ourselves Mindfully - NOW OPEN for enrollment! Learn more at theschoolofmom.com/momUnsubscribe Integration Call & Replay - Not too late to join! Visit theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribeAlumni & Current Flourish Members - Check your email for your 50% off returning rateProgram kicks off the week of February 23rd - 8 weeks of foundational work for thriving as a humanSend Sarah your voice note right here!SpeakPipe - Send a voice message to theschoolofmom: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextMothering Ourselves Mindfully enrollment is OPEN NOW! This is a very well-established program refined over 6 years with hundreds of women. If you desire to be a mindful human, break cycles in your family, slow down, relinquish control, or drop the resentment - you need support. Come walk with us and be the unicorn your lineage needs.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In this episode, I get specific about the question we've been exploring in my community this week: What am I ready to unsubscribe from? I share what mothers are bravely naming - from hypervigilance and overexplaining to busyness and shame around asking for help - and invite you to explore your own readiness for change. Using the stages of change model, we dig into what "ready enough" actually means, why thinking can't unwind what lives in the body, and how to discern between what we want to unsubscribe from versus the healthy cadence we actually need. This is essential prep work for our upcoming UNSUBSCRIBE live event on January 28th.Key PointsUnderstanding "ready enough" - why you're never 100% ready for change and that's okayThe stages of change model: denial, pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance/relapseHow to move along the readiness spectrum by examining the cost of staying the same versus the cost of changingWhat mothers are ready to unsubscribe from: hypervigilance, overexplaining, multitasking, self-doubt, shame around asking for help, guilt around saying no, being the emotional load bearer, pressure to hurry, control, managing everything perfectly while ignoring needs, Instagram, social media, group chats, and other people's moodsWhy you can't just "untick a box" - these patterns are embodied, not just intellectualThe importance of cadence and frequency - we don't want to eliminate anxiety completely, we need it at healthy intervalsWhy we can't be in two nervous system states at once (like shutdown and play simultaneously)What mothers want to subscribe to: rest, sleep, time in flow, trusting intuition, moving slowly, joyfulness with kids, travel, feeling like themselves, soup, puzzles, and the simple thingsWhy releasing the conflicting pattern is required to create space for what we desireQuotes"There's very few things in life that we are a hundred percent ready for.""If you're in the awareness stage and there's some significant discomfort...the discomfort of staying the same is getting more pronounced for you. That is a good indicator that it's time to move, that you are ready, getting more ready to change.""All of these that we wanna unsubscribe from are programs patterns that were never designed for flourishing or for thriving. These are patterns rooted in stress states and survival states in our bodies and in our nervous systems.""Thinking can't unwind what lives in the body. Insight is not enough.""When you're in shutdown, you can't also be in our safety state...That's where play lives, so we can't be in those two places at once.""We cannot teach something. We cannot model something for someone else if we have not attuned to it and healed it in ourselves."Resources MentionedUNSUBSCRIBE Live Event: January 28th in the evening - a 90-minute embodiment experience to unsubscribe from patterns at the physiological, somatic level. Register at https://theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribeStages of Change Model: Google this helpful framework from the addiction space for understanding readiness to change: https://www.elev8centers.com/blog/stages-of-change-modelSend Sarah your voice note right here!: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomThank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

Happy New Year! In this first episode of 2026, I'm sharing an incredibly important distinction: the difference between insight and MOMsight. If you've ever felt stuck knowing what you need to change but can't actually make the shift, this episode is for you. Walking a brand new path through the woods (literally!), I break down why awareness alone isn't enough for transformation, and what it actually takes to embody lasting change as a mother. Plus, I'm announcing our powerful kickoff gathering for the year: UNSUBSCRIBE.Key PointsThe distinction between insight (mental understanding) and MOMsight (embodied integration)Why 90-95% of your experience is driven by unconscious programmingUnderstanding that 80% of communication flows from body to brain (not the other way around)The difference between top-down (cognitive) and bottom-up (somatic) approaches to changeWhy insight can become a way to avoid doing the actual workHow nervous system work creates change "underneath the hood" that you'll notice over timeThe importance of choosing unfamiliar paths even when it feels uncomfortableWhy your patterns don't want you to change (familiar feels safe to your nervous system)Quotes "Insight is understanding what's happening, but how am I changing this without changing the circumstances that are contributing to my reactivity?""Why would I go for the 20% or that five to 10% of consciousness when I can work on the 80% or the 90 to 95% and just change the way I am at baseline?""The women in the School of Mom are the women who have the books and they've read them, but when it comes to the reflection questions at the end of the chapter... they don't do it.""When a mother can see and feel the full dance of the human experience happening in her body, she's no longer a victim to it.""Your nervous system will choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every time.""We are not gonna pass along another generation of shame. It's not, we can't, ladies, we can't. It's actually not an option."Resources MentionedFlourished Mother Starter Kit (5 free nervous system practices): https://theschoolofmom.com/starterUNSUBSCRIBE Live Class - January 28th, 7:15-8:45pm EST: www.theschoolofmom.com/unsubscribeSend Sarah your voice note right here! https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomWhat's Coming NextJoin me on January 28th for UNSUBSCRIBE - a powerful 90-minute gathering where we'll collectively honor the threshold from the year of the snake (releasing/shedding) to the year of the horse. This is not a class to do with kids in the room - hire a babysitter, lock the door, maybe gather with a friend. We'll be releasing the parts of ourselves that are no longer in alignment with who we're becoming. It's free, but it requires your sacred presence and commitment.Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call

In the final episode of our three-part HappIER Holiday series, we dive into the science of happiness - because while feeling all your emotions and getting clear on what happiness means to you are foundational, understanding what actually makes us happier is where transformation happens. Recording outside on a 20-degree December day, I share the research-backed truth that might surprise you: only 10% of your happiness comes from circumstances, while a full 40% is within your control through daily habits and practices.Key PointsWhy 50% of your happiness is genetic (your set point), but epigenetics means you can influence gene expression through environment and practicesThe happiness trap of "I'll be happy when..." and why only 10% of happiness is circumstantialUnderstanding affective forecasting: why humans are terrible at predicting future feelingsHedonic adaptation and why we return to our baseline happiness after getting the new shiny thing (or new life circumstance)The surprising research on money and happiness: there's a threshold where basic needs are met, after which spending matters more than earningWhy having kids doesn't boost overall happiness (even though it brings moments of joy)The 40% solution: science-backed strategies proven to increase happiness that are entirely within your controlThe gap between knowing what's good for you and actually doing it - and why fierce self-compassion is the bridgeThe 13+ Science-Backed Happiness StrategiesMindfulness - The foundation woven into all other strategiesGratitude - Expressing gratitude and having a gratitude practiceNurturing relationships - Being intentional about who you spend time withSavoring life's joys - Slowing down to really savor momentsFinding meaning - Looking for opportunities for growth and learning in every experienceDeveloping healthier coping strategies - Moving beyond scrolling and stress-eating to more nourishing practicesAvoiding overthinking and social comparison - Getting curious about these parts rather than fighting themPracticing compassion and self-compassion - The road all mindfulness leads toLeaning on signature strengths - Identifying and utilizing your top strengthsForgiveness - Releasing resentment for your own wellbeingDoing activities that engage you (Flow) - Finding what makes you lose track of timeTaking care of your body - In ways that honor your current season and stageOptimism - Looking on the bright side (or "holloing" it, as my dad would say!)Committing to your goals - Getting clear on what you want and working toward itFaith and spirituality - Connecting to something bigger than yourselfQuotes"We don't need to feel better. We need to get better at feeling." - Gabor Maté"Happiness is really an inside job.""There is a gap between what you know is good for you, what brings you happiness, and what you're actually doing.""Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.""Life is happening for us, not to us.""You're the product of the people you spend the most time with.""We cannot practice mindfulness authentically without practicing kindness and compassion. All roads lead to self-compassion."Resources MentionedProject 40 happiness initiative at Wentworth Institute of Technology: https://sites.wit.edu/witdeans/archives/311 Sonja Lyubomirsky - happiness researcher: https://thehowofhappiness.com/ Martin Seligman - UPenn positive psychology researcher: https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/people/martin-ep-seligman Kristin Neff - self-compassion.org: https://self-compassion.org/ VIA Character Strengths Assessment (free): https://www.viacharacter.org/ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi - Flow research: https://mlpp.pressbooks.pub/mavlearn/chapter/flow-theory/ Take the Inner Voice Quiz - Discover your dominant inner voice: http://theschoolofmom.com/quiz Join The School of MOM: https://theschoolofmom.com/waitlist Send Sarah your voice note right here!: https://www.speakpipe.com/theschoolofmomSeries RecapEpisode 1: Feeling It All - We don't need to feel better, we need to get better at feeling. To feel happiness deeply, we must also feel sadness, grief, and all 87 emotions (not just the 3 most people can name).Episode 2: Getting Clear on What You Want - Before you can create happiness, you need to know what it actually looks, feels, and smells like for you. Specificity matters.Episode 3: The Science of Happiness - Understanding the research behind what actually makes us happier and implementing science-backed strategies that fit your life.Thank you for joining us for this three-part Happier Holidays series. Which happiness strategy resonates most with you? Send me a voice note and let me know!Thank you for tuning in to this episode of "Mothering Ourselves Mindfully." We look forward to sharing more insights and inspiration in the upcoming episodes!www.theschoolofmom.comInstagram @the.schoolofmomBook a breakthrough Call