84. I'm done with being regulated

About this episode

In this episode, Sarah Harmon discusses her frustration with the term 'regulated' and introduces the concept of 'flourished' as a more fitting model for emotional well-being.

I'm recording this one on a windy day, and it feels fitting because this episode is unfiltered. I've been sitting with a growing frustration around a word that I've used a lot in this space, and I need to talk about it: regulated . As much as I believe in what it means in the nervous system sense, something has shifted - in me, in this cultural moment, and in what I want to model for my daughters. So I'm officially retiring the word, and replacing it with something that actually captures what we're building here: flourished . Key Points Why "regulated" no longer works for me — The nervous system definition of regulated (moving through sympathetic and shutdown states and returning to grounded safety) is still true and valid. But the word itself has become too loaded — politically, culturally, and personally — to land the way it's meant to. Words matter, and this one isn't working anymore. The personal moment that sparked this — A heated exchange with my husband, a group call where another mom voiced the exact same frustration, and the realization that I was holding a layer of self-blame on top of the original trigger: I should be more regulated. Why aren't I more regulated? Sound…

People in this episode

Host: Sarah Harmon

Topics covered

• emotional regulation
• parenting
• cultural expectations
• self-acceptance
• communication

Keywords

• regulated
• flourished
• nervous system
• emotions
• parenting
• cultural moment
• self-blame
• women's expectations

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