86. What You Actually Have Control Over
From Mothering Ourselves Mindfully by Sarah Harmon
April 7, 2026 · 13 min · Season 1 · Episode 86
About this episode
In this episode, Sarah Harmon discusses the misconceptions about control in personal development and the importance of somatic work in understanding our unconscious programming.
In today’s episode, I'm calling out one of the most repeated lines in coaching and personal development, and offering you something that's actually true instead. Spoiler: you have more control than you think - it's just not where you've been told to look for it. Key Points Why somatic work moves the needle in ways talk therapy can't — I spent years as a therapist talking through problems with women. Insight is valuable — but it's limited. When I discovered what was possible through body-based work, it changed everything. 90–95% of our experience is driven by unconscious programming living in our nervous system, and you simply can't talk your way out of that. What actually happens in a somatic session — Whether a client is brand new to this work or has been doing it for years, the experience is consistently the same: I can't believe what just came through. The body holds wisdom, intuition, and real-time healing that the mind can't access alone. Calling out the line everyone repeats — "The only thing you can control is your reaction." It's everywhere in coaching culture. And it's not quite true. If your unconscious nervous system is running the show — and for most of us, it is —…
People in this episode
Host: Sarah Harmon
Topics covered
- control
- somatic work
- coaching culture
- nervous system
- body-based therapy
Keywords
- control
- somatic therapy
- nervous system
- coaching
- personal development
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