My Holistic Therapist

In this first episode of a three-part mini series, I am joined by Dr Carrie Rigoni - chiropractor, applied kinesiologist, and vagus nerve educator - for a conversation that many women will recognise immediately.If you have been through the medical system, had every test run, and been told everything looks normal - yet you still don't feel physically well - this episode speaks directly to that experience. We explore why the physical symptoms of stress and trauma are so consistently missed, and what is actually happening in the body when they appear.We reflect on how body-based and psychotherapeutic approaches work together, and why the order of healing matters more than most people realise. This includes an honest conversation about what it looks like for perimenopausal women who are people-pleasing, over-functioning, and running on a nervous system that has been quietly dysregulated long before midlife arrived.This is clinical, grounded, and practical - a conversation about why the body keeps the score, and how to start working with it rather than around it.Links and resources mentioned in this episode:Download Carrie's free Vagus Nerve GuideFollow Dr Carrie Rigoni on InstagramFollow The HEAL Method

In this episode, I build on last week’s conversation around adult child estrangement and explore what we need as parents to do different if we want to have a healthy relationship with our children, and what it looks like to consciously create a healthier relationship within your own family.I share my personal experience of becoming a parent before I had done any therapeutic work, and how my understanding of relationships, emotional maturity, and nervous system regulation evolved over time. This is not about getting parenting “right,” but about course-correcting and becoming more intentional in how we show up.I also unpack five key psychological foundations that underpin healthy parent - child relationships, including emotional safety, repair after rupture, attunement, modelling regulation, and allowing autonomy. These are not techniques, but relational conditions that shape how children develop, and ultimately how they relate in adulthood.This episode is both personal and grounded in developmental psychology, offering insight into how generational patterns can be interrupted and how connection can be built in a way that lasts.Connect with me:Website: https://www.myholistictherapist.comNewsletter: https://www.myholistictherapist.com/newsletterInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/myholistictherapist

In this episode, I explore a pattern I see all the time in my clinical work - the quiet, often hard-to-articulate experience of feeling unseen in a long-term relationship.There isn’t always conflict or crisis, it is often an absence. An absence of connection, emotional depth, and being truly met.I unpack what’s really going on beneath that experience, including the familiar patterns we unconsciously choose in relationships, the dynamic between anxious and avoidant attachment, and how emotional capacity - or lack of it - shapes the way partners show up.Most importantly, I talk about why midlife often brings this into sharp focus. As your tolerance for over-functioning reduces, what once felt manageable can start to feel deeply misaligned.If you’ve been sensing that something is missing in your relationship but can’t quite name it, this episode will help you understand what may actually be happening beneath the surface.Connect with me:Website: https://www.myholistictherapist.comNewsletter: https://www.myholistictherapist.com/newsletterInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/myholistictherapist

In this episode, I explore the growing scientific debate around Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory - a framework that has shaped how many therapists and clients understand nervous system regulation and trauma.Recently, neuroscientists and psychophysiologists, including Paul Grossman and colleagues, have questioned some of the biological mechanisms behind the theory. I explain what is actually being challenged, what isn’t, and what this means in practical terms for women who are learning to understand stress, overwhelm and nervous system dysregulation in midlife.I also talk about the difference between scientific research and clinical knowledge, how Polyvagal Theory moved from neuroscience into therapy through Deb Dana’s work, and why the core experiences of activation, shutdown and regulation remain real - even while the science continues to evolve.If you’ve been hearing that Polyvagal Theory has been “debunked” and aren’t sure what to make of it, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening and why the work of nervous system healing still matters.Connect with me:Website: https://www.myholistictherapist.comNewsletter: https://www.myholistictherapist.com/newsletterInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/myholistictherapist

This week’s episode was sparked by an article from Jamella Jamil with the provocative title “Ah shit, we let paedophiles decide our beauty standards.” I don’t often build a whole podcast episode around an article, but this one made me stop and think - particularly after last week’s episode on power, hierarchy and abuse.In this episode, I explore the question: Do our beauty standards keep women looking like girls?I reflect on the way adult female bodies have increasingly been shaped by expectations of hairlessness, smoothness and agelessness, and how girls and women internalise these cultural messages about what is acceptable and desirable. I also share some of my own experiences growing up in the heroine chic era, and how the transition from a girl-shaped body into a woman-shaped body felt unexpectedly threatening.From a psychological perspective, I explore how cultural standards become internalised, how girls learn to regulate their bodies long before they understand why, and why the transition into womanhood can feel psychologically loaded rather than celebratory.This is a reflective episode about culture, power and internalisation - and about what happens when adulthood in the female body starts to feel like something to resist rather than inhabit.

There’s never been more access to psychological education - yet midlife women’s mental health is not improving.In this episode, I explore why insight alone doesn’t create change. Drawing on developmental neuroscience and the work of Dr. Bruce Perry, I explain how early relational experiences shape adult stress physiology - and why perimenopause often exposes what was never fully integrated.If you understand your patterns but still feel overwhelmed, wired, exhausted, or stuck, I’ll walk you through what’s actually missing.Because knowing better is not the same as feeling better.

This week I’m joined by Sheradyn Dekker, a Functional Nutritionist specialising in gut health and hormonal imbalances. Sheradyn holds a Masters in Nutrition with postgraduate training in Functional Diagnostic Nutrition and brings both clinical expertise and lived experience after years of chronic gut pain, IBS, bloating, missing periods, and food intolerances.In this conversation, we unpack why digestive symptoms so often worsen in perimenopause, how gut health, hormones, stress, and the nervous system are deeply intertwined, and why so many women are told their symptoms are “normal” when they’re not. Sheradyn explains what a true root-cause approach looks like, why quick fixes and band-aid solutions fail, and how functional testing (including comprehensive stool, thyroid, and hormone labs) can help identify underlying imbalances that appear as disconnected symptoms.This episode is for midlife women who are tired of managing symptoms and want to understand what their body is actually communicating.You can find Sheradyn here:Website: sheradyndekker.comInstagram: @sheradyn_functionalnutrition

This episode builds on last week’s conversation about the Let Them theory and the many responses it generated. One message stood out:“The Let Them theory has been everywhere lately & it has made me uncomfortable … but what you write has hit home like a light bulb for me. It has made me realise I’m not just being antagonistic and negative about the Let Them stuff… I’m yet to be convinced that I am selfish enough to turn away and live my life my way.”In this episode, I explore why that reflection resonates with so many women, particularly in midlife. I unpack how a sense of self is formed relationally, why listening to yourself is often mislabelled as selfishness, and what actually needs to happen before “living life your way” becomes possible.

If stress feels heavier and more relentless in midlife, it’s not because you’re failing - it’s because the strategies that once kept you functioning are no longer sustainable. In this episode, I unpack what stress actually is, why chronic stress is not normal, and why so many women don’t get traction despite doing “all the right things.”I explore how self-override, avoidance, and surface-level nervous system work can keep stress patterns stuck, and I break down three habits that genuinely help by changing how your nervous system responds under pressure - through capacity, consistency, and relational safety.If you’d like a deeper understanding of the different nervous system states, I recommend going back to Episode 3, where I explore this in more detail.This is a direct, grounded conversation for midlife women who are done coping and ready for real change.👉 Learn more about the HEAL Method via the link in the show notes.

In this episode, I share why I don’t encourage New Year’s resolutions - especially for women who already carry a lot of internal pressure and self-expectation. I explore how resolutions can quietly erode self-trust when they’re not aligned with our nervous system, capacity, or deepest knowing, and why what we often label as “self-sabotage” is actually the body trying to keep us safe.I’ll walk you through the difference between a resolution and an intention, why intentions create far more freedom and flexibility, and how intention-setting allows real, embodied change to unfold without force or punishment. If you’re ready to approach the new year with more honesty, self-trust, and nervous-system safety, this episode offers a grounded alternative to the usual “new year, new you” pressure.👉 Click here to learn more about the HEAL Method - my integrative, nervous-system-led approach to sustainable healing and change, starting up again this January 2026

Anxiety, burnout, emotional numbness - what if these aren’t just symptoms, but signs your nervous system is stuck in survival mode?In this episode, I unpack what nervous system dysregulation really feels like, why it often hides behind high-functioning behaviours, and how to recognise the patterns in your own life. We’ll explore the key nervous system states (fight/flight, shutdown, and regulation), what they look like day-to-day, and how to begin shifting from coping to true resourcing.If rest feels impossible or you’re doing “all the right things” but still not healing - this one’s for you.

Ever wondered why you can’t relax during the silly season, no matter how much you try? In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening inside your nervous system at the end of the year, and why December sends so many women into overwhelm, irritation, or complete shutdown.From collective stress in shopping centres to neuroception, co-dysregulation, and that wired-but-tired feeling, I’ll explain the real physiology behind your exhaustion. And more importantly, I’ll give you practical tools to help you regulate, reset, and protect your energy before the chaos ramps up.I’ve also created a free resource to support you through this season, and it will help you identify your nervous-system state and build your own regulation plan.If you’re feeling stretched thin or running on fumes already, this episode will help you understand yourself with compassion, and find a steadier way through the season.

In this episode, I’m exploring what really happens when your body - and your hormones - decide they’re done with people-pleasing. For many women, midlife brings a strange mix of liberation and guilt. The part of us that’s spent decades smoothing things over and keeping the peace starts to feel exhausted, while another part begins whispering, “I can’t keep living like this.”We’ll talk about the hormonal shifts that drive this change, from fluctuating oestrogen and progesterone levels, to the role of testosterone - and how these biochemical transitions collide with your attachment style. I’ll break down the four adult attachment patterns and explain why anxious, avoidant, or people pleasing tendencies can create havoc in perimenopause, as the body pushes you toward truth and integrity.