NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

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Have you ever noticed that just when you start moving on… the narcissist suddenly becomes kind again? Sweet messages. Apologies. Promises to change. It can make you question everything. In this episode, Christy explains the manipulation tactic known as hoovering—why narcissists suddenly act nice when they feel you pulling away, how this behavior fits into the narcissistic abuse cycle, and what you can do to protect your peace. If you've ever wondered whether their sudden kindness means they've truly changed, this episode will give you clarity. 🎧 Listen to the episode:https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-fh2h2-1945389 Your Next Step in Healing If you're dealing with hoovering, emotional manipulation, or the lingering effects of narcissistic abuse, you don't have to navigate it alone. These patterns can be confusing and exhausting—but clarity and peace are possible. Working together can help you break trauma bonds, rebuild self-trust, and confidently protect your boundaries. 1:1 Coaching Support 3-Month Transformational Coaching ContainerThis container is designed for women who want focused support breaking free from narcissistic abuse patterns, strengthening boundaries, and reclaiming their peace. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace Coaching ContainerFor deeper transformation, this program helps you fully rebuild self-trust, emotional stability, and confidence after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Queens of Peace Coaching ContainerThe most comprehensive option for women who want sustained support while rebuilding their life, identity, and relationships after narcissistic abuse. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free)Learn how to set boundaries without guilt.https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace ScriptsExact scripts to handle narcissistic texts and manipulation.https://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries CourseBuild strong boundaries that actually stick.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Join the Free Facebook CommunityConnect with other women healing after narcissistic abuse.https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Related Episode How to Spot a Narcissist in 60 SecondsOne of the most popular episodes of the show. Learn the fast red flags that reveal narcissistic behavior early.https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-4sj92-15e6a4b Contact Email: fiercemamac@gmail.com TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Ever notice this? You finally start pulling away from the narcissist, you get strong, you get fierce and queeny, and suddenly they're nice again, overly nice. Sweet texts, apologies, promises. Today, we're talking about why narcissists suddenly act nice and the manipulation tactic called hoovering that pulls so many people back in. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five-minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you. All right, queens. It is Christie with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast. Welcome back or welcome if you are a newbie, a newbie queen. Welcome to the show. Today, we're talking about something that confuses almost everyone who has dealt with a narcissist. You start getting your power back, right? You stop chasing them. You stop overexplaining yourself or explaining yourself at all. And out of nowhere, they're nice again. (01:10)And you're like, "What just happened? What's happening?" And this usually shows up right when you start detaching. So maybe you stop texting back so fast because you are losing the conditioning that everything is urgent when it's not. Maybe you set a boundary and say, "I'm not going to let you talk to me like X, Y, Z anymore." Maybe you emotionally checked out. Maybe it's been a while, you are burnt ou

In this episode, I read the letter I’ll never send — and share what it taught me about self-trust after narcissistic abuse. If you’ve ever felt paralyzed in conversations, questioned your own reactions, or normalized what your body knew wasn’t safe, this one is for you.Your Next Step in Healing If this episode hit close to home, you may be in the stage where understanding isn’t the problem anymore — your nervous system just needs support integrating safety and clarity. ✨ Calm & Clarity Reset CallA focused, private session designed to help you regulate, gain perspective, and leave with clear next steps when emotions feel overwhelming or confusing. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/calm-and-clarity-reset-call/ 3-Month Deep-Dive ContainerFocused support to break trauma bonds, rebuild self-trust, and create emotional stability after narcissistic abuse.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace ProgramFor women ready for deeper identity rebuilding, boundary mastery, and long-term nervous system healing.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Queens of Peace MasteryHigh-level mentorship and integration for lasting transformation and full life reclamation.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Free Boundaries Pocket Guidehttps://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scriptshttps://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Coursehttps://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Private Communityhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Have you ever felt paralyzed in a conversation like no matter what you said, it was going to be wrong? Like your body was braced even when things were quote fine. Today's episode is different. I'm going to read something I've never read before. And if you've ever loved someone who slowly made you smaller, this is for you. Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you. Okay. So this episode is going to be a little different. I'm not teaching first, I'm going to read something and it's not about one specific person exactly. It's about a pattern. And if you see yourself in it, I want you to listen all the way through. All right? Here we go. Dear narcissist. I didn't see you at first and that's the part that still gets me. (01:12)I didn't see anything that felt overly dangerous. I saw intensity. I saw big emotions. I saw someone who reacted strongly and I told myself that just meant you cared deeply. You told me that meant you cared deeply. I thought the chaos meant passion. I thought the tension meant connection. I thought if I could just communicate better, it will calm down. (01:48)What I didn't see was how I was changing. I started feeling paralyzed in conversations and I mean any conversation, not just fights or conflicts. I would rehearse what I was going to say in my head before saying it out loud because somehow I already knew it would be wrong. No matter what I said, it would get twisted. And eventually I stopped trusting my own reactions. I started questioning whether I was even justified in feeling like you were overreacting. Maybe I was too sensitive, like you said. Maybe I did misunderstand like you said. Did I even provoke it? (02:40)All things you conditioned me to believe. So instead of holding my ground, I backed off or I overexplained. I took responsibility for things I did not do. I avoided topics that might set you off. Fixing it, fixing us became my role and keeping the peace became my job. And my body was keeping score the whole time. My tight chest, my tight jaw, the constant exhaustion, pure exhaustion, feeling drained all the time. This low grade brace in my nervous system that really never we

If you’ve left a narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationship but still find yourself thinking about them, questioning your progress, or feeling pulled backward emotionally — this episode will bring powerful clarity. You’re not actually missing the narcissist. In this episode, Christy explains why calm can feel uncomfortable after narcissistic abuse, how trauma bonding conditions the brain and body, and what’s really happening when memories or longing resurface. This conversation will help you release shame, understand your healing process, and begin retraining your body to feel safe in peace again. Your Next Step in Healing If this episode hit close to home, you may be in the stage where understanding isn’t the problem anymore — your nervous system just needs support integrating safety and clarity. ✨ Calm & Clarity Reset CallA focused, private session designed to help you regulate, gain perspective, and leave with clear next steps when emotions feel overwhelming or confusing. https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/calm-and-clarity-reset-call/ 3-Month Deep-Dive ContainerFocused support to break trauma bonds, rebuild self-trust, and create emotional stability after narcissistic abuse.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Queens of Peace ProgramFor women ready for deeper identity rebuilding, boundary mastery, and long-term nervous system healing.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Queens of Peace MasteryHigh-level mentorship and integration for lasting transformation and full life reclamation.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Free Boundaries Pocket Guidehttps://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scriptshttps://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Coursehttps://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Private Communityhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello Queens. Have you ever caught yourself thinking about them and then immediately getting mad at yourself afterwards? Why am I still thinking about this person I left? I know who they are, I know what they did. So why does part of me still feel pulled back today? I want to gently flip something upside down for you because you're not actually missing the narcissist, you're missing something else. And once you understand this, a lot of shame is going to go, we don't like shame in this room. No we don't. Welcome to your Thursday. Thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen. This one's for you. (00:53)Alright, so welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. I'm Christie, as many of you know, if not welcome, thanks for showing up. And if you're here today, I already know something about you. You're not where you used to be, right? You've learned, you've woken up, maybe you left. Maybe you're emotionally detaching, maybe and trying to stay grounded, but there's still this confusing moment that happens sometimes, right? You're doing better and out of nowhere a memory hits or you wonder what they're doing. Or your body feels heavy, chest tight, maybe you feel a little nostalgia, right? And then the second wave after that is guilt or shame around that. What is wrong with me? Why do I still miss them? This doesn't make sense. So what we're going to talk about today is what's actually happening because this moment right here is one of the most misunderstood parts of healing. (02:00)Alright? So here's the truth. Most people never explain. You're not missing the narcissist. I repeat. You are not missing the narcissist. Isn't that? That's like a relief, but you're not so sure yet are you are missing what your nervous system learned to expect while you were surviving them. They're two very, very different things. So when you were in th

The 3 Reasons You Still React to a Narcissist (Even When You Know Better) You’ve learned the patterns. You understand narcissistic behavior. And yet — you still find yourself reacting, explaining, defending, or feeling emotionally pulled back in. This episode breaks down why that happens and why it has nothing to do with weakness or lack of healing. Christy explains the nervous-system and psychological reasons survivors continue to react, and how awareness alone isn’t enough to change the pattern. If you’ve ever left an interaction thinking, “Why did that still affect me?” — this episode will bring clarity and relief. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why trauma bonding keeps your brain hooked even after separation How nervous system conditioning overrides logic in real time The hidden emotional triggers narcissists activate — often without words The shift that helps you move from reaction → regulation → response Your Next Step in HealingIf you’re ready to stop overthinking interactions and start feeling calm, clear, and grounded again, deeper support can help you retrain both mindset and nervous system responses. 3-Month Transformational Coaching (Deep-Dive Support)https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/Focused, high-support coaching to help you stabilize emotionally, implement boundaries, and break reactive patterns. 6-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Containerhttps://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/For women ready to fully rebuild self-trust, confidence, and emotional safety. 12-Month Queens of Peace Coaching Containerhttps://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/Long-term transformation and identity rebuilding after narcissistic abuse. Additional Support & ResourcesBoundaries Pocket Guide (Free): https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250Copy-Paste-Peace Scripts: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade Contact: fiercemamac@gmail.com (MENTIONED) GREY ROCK METHOD EPISODE: https://christyjade.podbean.com/e/ep-5-the-grey-rock-method-how-to-disconnect-from-narcissistic-abusers/ TRANSCRIPT: Speaker 1 (00:00): So you understand narcissistic behavior now or at least way more than you used to. You see the manipulation, you see the patterns you promised yourself, you will not get pulled in again. And then one message shows up and suddenly your heart is racing. You're explaining yourself again, and afterward you're wondering, why am I still reacting like this? Today we're going to talk about why that happens and why it does not mean you are failing at healing. Okay? Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. (00:51)Hello queen. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery with Christy Jade. Alright, so I want to start first with something that I hear constantly, and maybe you've said this to yourself too. I know what they're doing. So why does it still affect me? Because there's this strange phase in healing where your awareness wakes up, but your nervous system is still lagging. It's still not caught up, and this is very, very normal. So I want you to know that first of all, right, your mind understands what happened, but your body, that nervous system, all the things still reacts like it is happening now. Basically it's stuck, and I get that word so much from my clients, I feel stuck. So the text comes in, your stomach drops, you feel pressure to respond immediately. That urgency, oh, I'm familiar, I remember that guy. Do not miss urgency. And you start mentally defending yourself before you've even unlocked your phone and afterwards, then comes the shame. (02:04)I should be past this. So today I want to walk you through so

If co-parenting feels harder now than it did when you were in the relationship, you’re not imagining it. Many women experience intense anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and self-doubt long after separation — even when they’re doing everything “right.” In this episode, we unpack why co-parenting with a narcissist or high-conflict parent often feels like emotional whiplash, and why traditional advice like “just communicate better” can actually keep you stuck in a cycle of dysregulation. You’ll learn what’s really happening beneath the surface, why your nervous system reacts so strongly, and what shift actually creates steadiness and relief. This conversation is about naming what others miss — and giving you language, clarity, and direction when co-parenting feels impossible. What You’ll Learn in This Episode Why co-parenting can feel worse after the relationship ends How intermittent emotional reinforcement keeps your nervous system on edge Why “healthy communication” backfires with narcissistic personalities The real goal of co-parenting in high-conflict dynamics How reducing emotional access restores calm and clarity Your Next Step in Healing If this episode named something you’ve been feeling but couldn’t explain, this is the exact work I do inside my private coaching containers — helping women move from emotional whiplash to emotional containment so they can protect their peace and show up grounded for their kids. Work With Me 1:1 3-Month Coaching ContainerFocused, high-touch support to stabilize your nervous system, strengthen boundaries, and stop being emotionally hijacked by co-parenting dynamics.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching ContainerDeeper healing and integration for women ready to fully rebuild self-trust, emotional safety, and confidence after narcissistic abuse.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching ContainerA long-term, transformational container for women ready to fully reclaim their power, peace, and identity — and create a steady, regulated life beyond survival mode.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Free Boundaries Pocket Guidehttps://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scriptshttps://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Coursehttps://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Communityhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade 📩 Contact: fiercemamac@gmail.com TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello, hello everybody. How are you? I hope you are doing well. It has been super cold, super cold here in the DC area. We got lots of snow/ice. They were calling it, now I forget, some mix between ice and concrete. Ice create. That sounds like ice cream, but I don't think that was it. Anyway, it has been quite a wild ride over here and I want to do a special nervous system reset on Thursday. So make sure to follow this podcast on my main page. Just make sure to hit follow so you can get all my episodes, all my fancy stuff. But today we're talking about co-parenting because I know most of my clients are going through that. A lot of you listeners are going through that. And today I'm going to talk about why it feels like emotional whiplash more than co-parenting and why "good communication" can actually make it worse. (00:58)Sometimes we're not given the best advice. (01:04)Welcome to your Thursday Thrive In Five, your five-minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to. Take a breath queen, this one's for you. So welcome back. I'm Christie Jade. If you are co-parenting with a narcissist or high conflict, toxic, whatever buzzword you want to insert there, and you're feeling anxious, dysregulated, needing that namaste like myself right now. But it might be right after you're coming out or soon out of a relationship, or

If you’ve ever wondered why your body still panics—even when you know better—this episode is for you.Narcissists don’t just manipulate conversations; they manipulate states like fear, urgency, guilt, and confusion. And once your nervous system is activated, logic goes offline. In this episode, Christy breaks down three specific ways narcissists hijack your nervous system, why your reactions are not a failure, and how to begin calming your body so you can respond with clarity instead of spiraling. This is especially important for anyone co-parenting, navigating post-separation abuse, or dealing with a narcissistic parent or ex. You’ll learn how nervous system hijacking actually works—and why healing isn’t about “being stronger,” but about safety, regulation, and self-trust. Your Next Step in HealingIf interactions with a narcissist still send your body into panic or shutdown, 1:1 coaching offers personalized nervous-system-aware support, communication strategy, and boundary clarity—especially for high-conflict or co-parenting situations.Email: fiercemamac@gmail.com Coaching Packages: 3-Month Coaching ContainerFocused support to stabilize your nervous system, break trauma responses, and stop reactive patterns with narcissistic people.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 6-Month Coaching ContainerDeep nervous system work, boundary integration, and identity rebuilding so you stop second-guessing yourself and start living from calm authority.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/6-month-queens-of-peace-program/ 12-Month Coaching ContainerLong-term healing for complex trauma, co-parenting, family narcissism, and post-separation abuse—supporting true, lasting regulation and peace.https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/12-month-queens-of-peace-program/ Additional Support & Resources Boundaries Pocket Guide (Free)https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Copy-Paste-Peace Scriptshttps://christyjade.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-scripts/ Empowered Boundaries Coursehttps://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Free Facebook Communityhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/christyjade TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): If you've ever thought, why am I still panicking when I know better? This episode is for you. Today, I'm going to break down three very specific ways narcissists hijack your nervous system so you can stop blaming yourself and start calming your body again. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath, queen. This one's for you. Alright, so welcome back. Let me say this clearly right out of the gates, if your body still reacts even after therapy, after setting your lovely boundaries and doing everything right, you are not failing. Your nervous system has been trained. So narcissists don't just manipulate conversations, right? They manipulate states. So states of fear, urgency, God, I hate that one. Guilt and confusion. So today we're not talking about just, oh, just ignore 'em or be stronger, right? (01:19)We're talking about how the hijacking actually happens and what helps you come back to safety. Alright? So the first way they use urgency to bypass your regulation, this one is very, very important and one that I didn't really learn about till later in my research. Education, knowledge, all of them, right? This urgency is something we all get conditioned to have. So it can be sneaky, it can be sudden texts, last minute demands, fake emergencies. I remember having some of those, like this needs to be handled right now or call me immediately. I've literally had a narcissist say, this is an emergency you need to pick up when I wouldn't pick up. And then it goes, you go, oh, okay. And then you find out it's not really an emergency, right? So urgency shuts down your thinking brain and activates what we are familiar with survival mode. (02:33)So your body doesn't ask, is this

Feel like you know they’re toxic but still feel emotionally hooked? This deep cord-cutting is your sacred reset. Release the energetic ties, reclaim your peace, and feel lighter—fast. ✨ Press play, Queen. Your freedom starts now. Narcissistic Abuse Coaching 1:1 Intake Session https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk Speaker 1 (00:00): All right, this episode is for saving, and you can go back to it over and over and over and over again. You might need it. Sometimes we do cord cuttings and they do work immediately. A hundred percent. I have had that happen with one of mine, one of my narcissist cord cuttings, another one where it was someone I had known a lot longer and deeper relationship with. It took somewhat longer a few times, and then sometimes it feels good to just do it if you have any sort of feeling like come back, right? Because nothing's foolproof, like, oh my God, you're never going to think about this person or worry about this person again in your life, right? But I promise you, there is energetic entanglement that does get separated when you do these cord cutting. So stay close. Wait for my amazing intro and then you'll be back. And we're going to dive deep into this cord cutting from a narcissist. (01:07)Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back while you're in the right place. Queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and drive ice and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you, so steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (02:05)Alright, welcome, queen. I am so excited for this episode because these have helped me so much. Oh my gosh. Let me just describe real quick. One of my favorite cord cuttings was from someone I knew from a very, very long time ago, and I was really worried. I had cut them out of my life and was like, this is going to be so hard. So right away, I'm going to do a cord cutting, and I had done cord cuttings before. That's so I had experience with them, so I knew to just do it right away. And I did a cord cutting. It was very powerful. I had some emotions come up. It was a 20 minute one just like this. And the I don't know, difference. It was really night and day right after. And I can't promise you everyone is going to have exact same results, but I do promise you will have some result and feel a change, even if it's a small one. (03:09)It also depends on how open you are and what you believe. I always say you got to have faith for things to happen. That's just my personal beliefs about a lot of things. But this worked so well for me, especially with that one person. Other ones, like I said earlier, that it might take a little bit longer or a few times. So it depends. Everyone's different. So give it time, give yourself grace, but you will have some transformation of some sort, and definitely save this, save this, save this. Okay, so let's just take