NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

In this episode, Dan and Stephanie sit down with Dr. Jake Porter for a thoughtful and honest conversation about one of the most debated — and often weaponized — passages in Christian marriage discussions: 1 Corinthians 7.What did Paul actually mean when he wrote about marital intimacy? How has this passage been misused to justify pressure, coercion, and “duty sex” within Christian relationships? And what happens when mutuality, context, and the heart of the Gospel are stripped away from the conversation?Together, they unpack the historical and relational context of Paul’s words, explore the difference between covenant and control, and discuss how Scripture can be applied in ways that either foster safety and connection or deepen shame and harm.This episode is not about dismissing Scripture. It is about reading it carefully, relationally, and in the spirit it was intended.Topics include:Weaponized Scripture in marriage“Duty sex” and coercive interpretationsMutuality and consent in 1 Corinthians 7What Dr. Stephanie has heard in her NeuroDiverse Couples' WorkIs there such a thing as the sin of withholding?What Paul was addressing in the Corinthian churchHow pastors and couples can approach these conversations with wisdom and careA nuanced conversation about theology, relationships, and the difference between biblical intimacy and spiritual pressure. About Dr. Jake Porter:https://www.daringventures.com/Scripturally, Pastorally & Clinically Trained:EducationB.A., Elmira College, triple majors in Psychology, Music, Philosophy & ReligionM.Div., Southwestern Baptist Theological SeminaryTh.M. in Spirituality & Ethics, The Southern Baptist Theological SeminaryM.Ed. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, Lamar UniversityEd.D., The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Dissertation: Affective Social Neurobiology & Student Formation: A Transdisciplinary Multimethod StudyProfessional Memberships & AffiliationsLead Professor for the Doctor of Professional Counseling Program & Assistant Professor of Counseling, Kairos UniversityFaculty, International Institute of Trauma and Addiction ProfessionalsMember, Division 47 of the APA: Society for Sport, Exercise and Performance PsychologyMember, Division 43 of the APA: Society for Couple and Family PsychologyMember, Division 8 of the APA: Society for Personality and Social PsychologyMember, Society for the Advancement of Sexual HealthProfessional ServiceFounder & President, The International Association of Couple–Centered Recovery®Board of Directors, The Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Trauma Specialists (APSATS)Board of Directors, Christian Sex Addiction Specialists International (C-SASI)Professor of Counseling, Kairos University's Houston Graduate School of TheologyLicensure & CertificationsLicensed Professional Counselor, State of Texas (#78173)Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, State of Montana (#76171)Board Certified Counselor, National Board for Certified CounselorsCertified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, International Institute for Trauma and Addiction ProfessionalsCertified Multiple Addiction Therapist, International Institute for Trauma and Addiction ProfessionalsCertified Clinical Partner Specialist, The Association for Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma SpecialistsCertified Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy Provider, The Integrative Psychiatry Institute Licensed Psilocybin Facilitator (FL-12de7070), State of OregonCertified Clinical Trauma Professional, International Association of Trauma ProfessionalsAdvanced TrainingsCoachRICE Executive Leadership Coach Training, Rice UniversityPACT Level III (Psychological Approach to Couple Therapy)Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) Level IGottman Couple Therapy Level IEMDR Level I (EMDRIA–Approved Training)Emotionally Focused Therapy (Externship, Core Skills 1-4)Post–Induction Therapy (The Meadows Model), Pia Mellody

Today is a different feel for Just the Guys with guest panelists John Fela & Rev. Josh Davis.This month, we are putting the focus on disability, differences, and diversity, and the Church at large!Dan, John & Josh share personal and lived experiences, father, pastor, spiritual director, coach, and advocate experiences!What is grief? Is that wrong? Does Grief mean God didn't do something good for me?How is the CHURCH doing in supporting families with a member (or members) on the autism spectrum?The Guys talk about what went well, the guilt they carry for what they didn't know at the time, forcing assimilation/masking in the 'church environment' as well as what they know now, and how churches can better come along with children/teens/families. John Fela:John Fela (M.Ed) is a national disability advocate, working with both faith-based and non-faith-based disability organizations. He previously worked for Joni and Friends, a global disability ministry. Prior to that, he spent almost 20 years in education, serving in a variety of roles as a classroom teacher in both public and private school settings, as well as being a mentor teacher and school director. He holds certifications in both Montessori and traditional teaching methods and is trained in a variety of specializations, including ESL and Special Education.John is a public speaker, a blogger for a variety of disability advocacy platforms, and the author of Faith Like My Father, a memoir of his journey as a parent of a child with a disability. John lives in Lyons, IL, with his wife, Faith, and is father to his son, Christopher (ASD/NS).https://johnfela.com/contact/ Josh Davis:Josh Davis is not just a pastor—he is an advocate for neurodivergent individuals, using his platform to share hearts, build bridges, and encourage understanding in a world that often overlooks the unique experiences of those with autism and ADHD. He invites you to explore your own faith, engage in self-discovery, and discover the endless possibilities that lie ahead as you seek a deeper connection with yourself and God.Don’t miss out on the ongoing conversation about faith and neurodivergence.To connect further, find Josh on Facebook, Instagram, or email at: justjosuedavis@gmail.com. Or, for personal encouragement on your own neurodivergence journey, consider booking a spiritual direction session with Josh on Patreon.Listen to NeuroDivergent Faith podcast at:https://www.buzzsprout.com/2441513/episodes/16504569-discovering-autism-adhd-through-faith-josh-s-journey-of-self-discovery

Continuing this month's theme of the CHURCH and how she supports the marginalized, hurting, and least of these. Today, Dr. Stephanie and Barb talk with Sarah McDugal about women and children in abusive situations, navigating the courts and the Church.About Sarah, in her own words:BIO:I’m Sarah McDugal, co-founder of Wilderness to WILD and the TraumaMAMAs mobile app. I’m an author, coach, survivor, and TraumaMAMA.As an autistic woman and survivor of both domestic violence and child sexual assault -- my hyper focus is developing gentle, proven resources for women who want to heal after toxic and traumatic stress. I'm trained in:the Deceptive Sexual Trauma Model, andAPSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists)And I'm a Certified Assessor with the Johns Hopkins Danger Assessment.Some of my books include:He Chose Porn Over Me: Women Harmed by Men Who Use PornMyths We Believe: Predators We TrustOne Face: Shed the Mask, Own Your Values, and Lead WiselyMy goal is to provide accessible, affordable, authentic tools to guide you out of the wilderness of abuse, into the WILD thriving post-trauma life that waits ahead.How to find out more!Check out what I’m doing for (almost exclusively) ND protective parents these days: www.myfreedomnavigator.comthe SCOOP - Group Coaching Membershipwww.wildernesstowild.com/the-scoop Righteous or Rotten? How to know if it is biblically bad enough to divorcehttps://www.wildernesstowild.com/unholy-fruit-your-wild-guide-to-discerning-toxic-character Her two websites:https://www.wildernesstowild.com/https://www.myfreedomnavigator.com/

February is the month of love- what is real love- real hesed- sacrificial love? How did Adam love Eve?Today is not our usual crew, but a discussion with guest Russell Grigsby about a book that radically changed his mindset about loving his wife well.In this episode of Just the Guys, Dan sits down with entrepreneur and executive coach Russell Grigsby to talk about late-in-life autism diagnosis, trauma, pride, and the hard work of rebuilding a marriage. Russell shares how childhood wounds, avoidant attachment, and unrecognized autism shaped his relationships — and how confronting shame, embracing humility, and rethinking biblical leadership transformed his life at home. Through books, prayer, coaching, and intentional growth, he learned to stop trying to fix his spouse and instead take responsibility for his own healing. The result is a marriage marked by safety, connection, and hope. This conversation is an honest look at what happens when a man chooses humility over defensiveness and growth over comfort.Books Mentioned:Mending the Soul Groups found at: MendingthesoulFind a GroupAdam loves EveEscaping Enemy ModeBrene Brown's books on Shame and Vulnerability About Russell:Russell is passionate about encouraging others to fulfill their destiny. In one-on-one settings, Russell helps men and women discover what they are designed to do and then pursue their calling. After receiving an MBA from SMU in 1982, Russell began his career in commercial banking in Austin, Texas. After six years in banking, he joined a series of startups as CFO. He discovered he loved the startup process and began founding and running his own companies.Since 1993, he has run financial services, biotech, real estate, and mining companies. He loves building new businesses and creating a vision for their success. Russell is excited to work as a C12 Chair and call on his long entrepreneurial career to help others accomplish their God-given dreams. He loves meeting with people one-on-one to hear their stories and hear about their calling.Along the way, Russell has passionately pursued intimacy with God. As a follower of Jesus since 1967, Russell has had a profound relationship with God that continues to grow daily. He is a retreat speaker and loves to teach about living with greater power and authority as a believer in Jesus.Russell and his wife, Gina, live in Southwest Austin. They share five grown sons and a daughter.

Today, our guest is Jeremy Rochford of NeuroFM and a fellow Neurodiverse couples' coach! Jeremy is a regular on Just the Guys, and today he talks about his coaching model, Only Chasing Safety (OCS). Why is safety important, and is it okay to rob someone else's safety for your safety?

Summary: In this first episode of the year, the guys crack open the idea of what it means to be new—not just with gym memberships and resolutions, but deep in the rewiring of old patterns, assumptions, and emotional blind spots. Dan kicks things off by admitting his old “default setting” was to walk in the door wondering what he’d done wrong—proof that sometimes the battlefield is the hallway between the garage and the living room. From there, Jeremy confesses his own default: being right about everything. But a surprising comment from his son at a hockey game (“There’s so much more going on than what’s on TV”) hits him like a puck to the head and opens up a whole new way of seeing relationships. Kevin brings in the pastor’s line, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?”—and discovers that relational victory doesn’t always mean keeping score. Dan, meanwhile, reflects on curiosity as an antidote to assumption, while Jeff learns that geology may rock, but people matter more. Between dad jokes about rock stars, cul-de-sacs, and Fraggle Rock sing-alongs, the group lands somewhere between reflection and revelation: Becoming aware of your patterns.Accepting feedback without self-defense.Taking action toward connection, not correction. By the end, they circle back to hope. If yesterday was about living on autopilot, this year is about choosing manual drive. “Participating in my own discovery,” Dan quips, “gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.” So whether you’re trying to read a face, repair a marriage, or just survive mornings before coffee, this conversation reminds you—every default can be rewritten. Pull Quotes “There’s so much more going on than what’s on the screen.”“Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?”“Participating in my own discovery gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.” #justtheguys #danholmes #actuallyautistic #neurodiversecoupletips #neurodiverse men

New year - new you- or at least a new perspective of yourself and your neurodiverse marriage! So many times, once the diagnosis is made, the sole focus can become the autism/neurodiversity, but Dr. Stephanie & Barbara talk about the many complexities that make up a neurodiverse Christian marriage!